Living with the Parents

I have a bit time on my hands so I've been watching some TV, actually maybe too much TV...:)
This post is inspired by a movie I saw on Africa Magic Yoruba. An elderly couple decide to go and live with their two sons. The younger initially refused but the older prevailed on him. The agreement is that each parent will spend six months each with their sons and swap.
The mother gives the wife a tough time, and gets angry when her son does not greet her before going to work. She wakes up early in the morning and goes to sit in their room saying she wanted to talk to her son. The wife walks out (I'm getting pissed already)
The father dishes out his own medicine. He won't let anyone serve him food aside his son's wife. If she goes out for hours, he refuses food lamenting that his son's wife is punishing him. Wife is watching a movie, he asks, and she says she's been watching out for the second part of the movie so she's happy they're showing it. Father in law decides he wants to play a music video at the same time. So she stops watching her movie.
The brothers eventually decide to send their parents back home since they were beginning to have problems in their marriages. I'm totally in support, infact, they shouldn't have waited that long.
Go forward some time, apparently their parents are cut off from them. Both children are having problems in their lives and the younger consults an Islamic cleric (the way they always go in our movies) and the cleric says he needs to get his parents shoes. The son says it's an impossibility. Eventually the cleric goes with him and they make up with the parents.
We're made to understand that these two young men are having problems because they sent their parents out of their home.
I've got a good question for the writer of this movie: does it mean children can't do right by their parents if they're not living together?
We later find out that the parents were informed by a herbalist to stay with their children for some time and pronounce blessings on them daily to make sure they have no issues in life. They're supposed to keep it a secret from the children.
I have another question. Do people actually consult herbalists in real life? Can't we reach resolutions in our movies without involving the spiritual? I'm a believer and I trust in God for solutions but I don't go round consulting different pastors! Ok, this actually isn't about me..
Are we still such a fetisg society?
The brothers find peace after they make up with their parents and their parents pray for them and forgive them.
No mention was made of what the parents did to their daughters in lawnd how they almost ruined their homes. The writer's focus was on the children sending their parents out.
Does it mean parents have a right to run their children's lives or take over their homes because they suffered for them and fended for them. So it's pay time and they must move in?
I'm totally for taking care of one's parents and supporting them. The bible encourages honouring our parents but I believe parents should allow their children live their own lives. Parents who respect themselves don't impose on their children in my opinion. I know there are circumstances when a parent has to live with their child, sometimes in case of illness or some other unforeseen circumstances. A lot of times though, a parent will side with their child against a spouse which might cause problems in the marriage. Many wives have been known to contend with mothers in law for their husbands' love while a lot of husbands have been made to suffer the wrath of protective mothers in law.
Our society believes children are parents' investments and a parent must depend on children as they get older. I've seen different cases though.
I won't flog it. We all should take care of our parents and not abandon them. Please honour your father and mother so you may live long and it may be well with you.
My question to you is this though; will you bring your parent to live permanently in your home with your spouse?

Your Word Makes Me Thankful!

The Lord does great things! He is full of wonders and it is amazing how He daily loads us with benefits. There was a time I would look hard before finding things to thank God for but when I started my thankful series last year, it opened my eyes, and I have become soo thankful. When we dwell in God's word and we let it minister to us, it's amazing how things become so colourful and bright. And like Jesus did, even in the midst of the storm, we can even sleep and even snore! We must let Christ's word dwell richly in us...that way, we can live thankful lives, genuinely thanking Him for His goodness and blessings.

Per time, there are things we desire and we keep on asking, and that i believe is unbelied because Mark 11:24 says 'Whatever you desire, WHEN you pray, believe that you receive and you will have it'. Asking over and over again is unbelief, we must believe and once we have prayed and believed, we must continue in thanksgiving, not doubting until we see the manifestation of what we have asked Him (i will probably write more about this sometime). He is faithful to do that which He promised and when we know this, we start to have a thankful heart.

I am thankful for God's word. It is amazing how as I spend time in the word, it changes my world view, impossible things are made possible, faith rises up more and more in my heart and Ieven have what to combat the devil with when doubts arise in my heart. The word of God is a title deed, when you have the title deed to a land, no matter how long it takes you to build on that land, you know it belongs to you. Over certain matters in my life, I have been able to move from the realm of doubt to being FULLY PERSUADED that He who promised is faithful. His word gives light!

I am thankful for how hubby and I have moved from becoming almost complacent Christians to ones that have living relationships with God. The last few months have seen us becoming stronger Christians, building our faith more and walking with God daily. I can say we're indeed believers! And I am so grateful for a man who leads me into the presence of God. Too many times, women are the most spiritual in their families and keep hoping their husbands can catch on.

My sister was looking for a job for some months and it was beginning to affect her self esteem and also causing some strain between us because she was having to depend on people. Hubby and I felt a leading to tell her to start a business of buying and selling, she was convinced she was not cut out for it, and found every possible excuse that made her unfit for the business including finances. We decided to give her a loan and I must say months after she's running a business and doing well. Her mentality has changed and she even talks of growing the business. I'm very thankful for this.

When my brother was going to start NYSC last year, it looked like he was going to such a far place, he was posted to a village withough PHCN power, they depend on generating sets only for those who could afford it. He has travelled so many times and God has kept him. In only a few weeks, he will be done and I'm thankful for this. I am also thankful in advance for direction from God for him.

This time last year, I knew I wanted to be published, every writer wants to get published but I didn't know that the year would end with a book that has my name on it. I'm thankful that FG got the initiave for the In My Dreams series and also that she got the inspiration to make it into a book. Now i can boldly say there's a book out with my name on it. I am thankful because my personal works will definitely get published. God has proved to me that all things are possible.

Complacency is a great disease and it has been the case with most Nigerians. All we do is talk in our houses but no action. I'm thankful that a new breed of Nigerians are starting to wake up who will not only fight for Nigeria in their actions but will also get down on their knees and fight for their countries. I'm grateful to God for being part of a church family that will not keep quiet against corrpution and every form of evil being perpetrated in this country. Dear God, I thank you because Nigeria will indeed be free in this year of Jubilee!

What are you thankful for?

Fun Times Are Here!

I'm not going to start the new year by apologising for being away from my blog. I love this blog, i love this place but sometimes a hiatus is necessary. I had things to attend to and i am not sorry I didn't blog in that space of time. I just missed some of my favourite blogs and bloggers.

I'll say my happy new year! This is going to be a great year. Fun and exciting times are ahead and this is the year for fulfillment of dreams. There are so many things that will happen this year and i'm glad to be starting it on an exciting note...will tell you all about it in a bit.

Have you written your goals for this year? I don't believe in making resolutions, they don't work most times. We end up ditching them somewhere along the line and we wonder what happened to our resolutions someday. Willpower doesn't cause change or fulfill dreams. The grace of God with careful planning does. Think about where you want to be and what you want to achieve and write them down, be specific and then present them to God. They don't have to be too many, a few things that you know will make a difference in your life.

My Christmas break was fun and busy! Hubby and I spent time with our family members on both sides. There was a lot of reunion, a lot of laughter, a lot of prayers and so much food! I think i ate too much...although my stomach usually doesn't have as much capacity as i want it to. Lol. It was rewarding to see everyone and know that we have so much to be thankful for. We're definitely blessed.

I was to meet up with Jhazmyn and Rita in Lagos, we actually planned an outing with our spouses (or is it spice since the plural of mouse is mice) but we got help up at my parents' so outing had to be cancelled. It was very painful for me. I did meet Jhazmyn though (Rita and i have met a number of times. We've actually spent a couple of days together before...don't ask me). We met in church on the 31st, and it was just like i'd known her for a long time. We've been talking for a long time anyway so it was just natural to be able to talk to each other. Our husbands even know each other from Uni; small world! They ended up dropping hubby and i off at a taxi park. It was so great meeting, we were supposed to meet the following day but she stood me up, i've forgiven her though.I was also supposed to meet my sweet blog daughter, buttercup but it didn't happen...ish..some other time

I'm sure a number of you were following our series . Well, the good news is the blog has now been made into an ebook and you all can buy and read and reread. You can buy it here. Favoured Girl worked really hard to get the book together and i must say thumbs up for her.
We're going to start the Season 2 in February so you all can watch out for that. For now, please support us by downloading the ebook or buying the paperback online. It's a great note on which to be starting this year, when last year started, I didn't think a book would be out that would have my name on it. It's a dream come true and there's a lot more to come.

This year definitely holds a lot and fun and exciting times. This year, God is pouring out His grace. Seemingly impossible things will be made possible by faith. It is a year of Jubilee (our country is 50 this year) and as ctizens, we're entitled to great things in our personal lives. For everyone, I pray that this year will be the year you'll back and say indeed it was better than last year! Whatever we do, let's remember to walk with God and put Him first.

Have a blessed year everyone!

Guilty as Charged!

I left home a long time ago, in the real sense of it. Once i graduated from Uni, i stayed a few months at home and that was it, I moved away to make my own life. I chose not to stay with any relatives in the new city i moved to. God was good to me, I met some nice people but my decision brought some consequences (which are not the purpose of this post).

I think I'm quite independent, I don't know...anyway so I went home only once in a while. At a point, I made sure I went like every quarter. I tried to be there for my family but I'm not sure I was present enough. I don't know once again..lol

I got married and the visits became less frequent, did i say it wasn't so frequent before? My husband always asked me when I would visit my folks and didn't even mind if i left him home alone. It's just me, I hate travelling by road or more like siting in one place for a long time.

Last year, I wasn't home at all though I saw both my parents on a number of occasions and they were at my house. I kept saying I'd go until we had to move and the journey of 3 hours by road became 7 hours. It was longer. From the beginning of the year, I'd been saying I would go home but I kept pushing it. I've been avoiding a confrontation with my parents over a certain issue and I know going to their camp would bring me face to face with it. My husband would say when your parents are alive is the only time you love and be there for them. Bein an orphan, he knows how important it is to be there for one's parents.

Last week, my mum mentioned that my dad had malaria, so i called him. He sounded chirpy on the phone and I didn't think it was a big deal. I promptly forgot about it and didnt call them for a few days. Then, my mum called and asked why I didn't even bother to call my dad back to find out how he was doing. I apologised and said I forgot cos he sounded very well on the phone. She said it got worse, then she gave him the phone and he mentioned something about fainting. I was like no, what happened, he said not to worry, he was fine.

I couldn't sleep well that night. I deliberated on making the long journey and hubby encouraged me to do it. I packed a change of cloth in my handbag and made the trip. I called my mum, it was meant to be a surprise for my dad but my sister ruined it by telling him.

I met him recuperating. He was prescribed Piriton but the nurse wrote for him a wrong dosage which is definitely too much at his age. He was home alone and thought my mum got back from work so he went to open the gate and slumped. Dear Lord, i am eternally grateful for saving him. The floor is concrete. He could have hit his head. He passed out for a few minutes and by himself, he woke up and made it to back into the house. He then fell at the dining again; another thing that could have been disastrous because the floor is just tiles.

Mum met him half awake and felt his pulse. He said it doesn't take long to die. My mum said she rejected it and told him to get his act together because she didn't make such a covenant with God when she was leaving the house. He was going nowhere. She gave hm Lucozade and made him a meal and kept talking to him till she was sure he was fully recovered.

How do I thank God enough? I pray for my family all the time and I know this is a dividend of prayer. Please cover your family in prayers all the time, it's very important. Above all, I've decided, I can't be so far from my folks anymore, I would visit at least once in a quarter...I call them all the time, no problem with that. Hubby and I are also thinking of sending them both for full body exams and suggesting they get a maid. Mum is chief DIY but she's getting older. The woman needs to know she's no spring chicken anymore.

I can't believe how guilty I felt and I just thank God nothing happened to him. We still had the conversation I was avoiding but it didn't kill me. I'm so glad I made the trip although I spent about 14 hours or a bit less on the road in less than 48 hours. Like i told them, it's not how long I stay that counts, it's the thought and the fact that I was there and they saw me. I thank God.