Sunday, December 09, 2012

Blessed Not Once But Twice

At 9 am on 10/11/12, we welcomed our beautiful daughter into the world and I'm just so awed by how God could make me bring such a jewel into the world. I've been blessed not once but twice; privileged to be a part of God's creative process. I don't take the honour lightly.

I don't take being blessed with kids lightly. I was that lady who really wanted kids but for some unexplained reason was finding it difficult. The road to having mr king was long and eventful and when we eventually got pregnant with him, we were extremely relieved and grateful.

When in March this year I found out we were expecting again, I was in shock. I had been content with being mum to one gorgeous boy and finally life could move on. We now had our much desired boy and he was just enough for me. I couldn't believe it, we weren't actively planning for another baby just yet. I was in awe. Eventually I wrapped my head around it and all I could say was God is awesome, He's bigger and mightier than what we can think. He's a miracle working God and I believe in miracles, they happen to me! A friend told me God told her he was making my life a sign. I totally agree.

I had a very uneventful pregnancy, I desired a vaginal birth although my son was born via an emergency Caesarean section. We got it. She was born perfect at 40 weeks and 5 days. It was quite a long labour but God showed Himself faithful.

Today, the eve of my 6th wedding anniversary to my wonderful hubby, I think about how faithful God has been and my heart is full of gratitude. Something we used to tell each other in our waiting period was that 'the first house in a city is not necessarily the most beautiful'. We also used to say 'delay does not mean denial'. Sometimes I wondered if those sayings were right but God's word is always true and faithful.

If you're waiting for something, find a word in the bible, hold on to it, remind God of it and even it takes a long time, God is faithful to perform His word. He's proven himself to me. He's faithful to perform what He says He'll do.

Now we've been married 6 years and we've been blessed with two lovely kids. If I had my first kid when I planned, it would still be the same thing I'd be saying.

I'm just really grateful and I feel very blessed. I'm married to a great guy, a wonderful father to our kids and God chose to bless me even when I didn't expect.

Happy anniversary to us, I'd choose my hubby over and over if I had to do it again. To the man who completes my world, I say: "I loved you yesterday, I love you today and will love you forever my darling husband. Keep being the best that you are".

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

On Friends and Friendships

Hello blogville (is it still called that or am I stale?lol) Lately I've been thinking about and assessing my friendships. I saw a quote somewhere that said 'friendship is not about who you've known the longest, it's about who came and never left your side'. I pondered this saying for several days and decided that it's mostly true.

I used to believe in the concept of one best friend. I'm very sentimental and emotional and when I call someone my friend, I invest a lot in the friendship emotionally. Unfortunately there are times when it seems my efforts or 'feelings' (almost sounds like I'm talking about the opposite sex) are not returned accordingly. I have come to realise it's not that these people don't like me, it's just that they see our friendship in a different light.

The bible talks about a friend who sticks closer than a brother. I reckon these are the friends who stay when you need them or the ones you can call on when you need them and you know they'll answer. They are those friends who you're not afraid to tell your innermost fears or secrets because you know they won't judge you. When you need counsel, they'll be there with the right one and when they don't have any counsel, they still listen to your ramblings, when you need a knock on the head, they can give you without being afraid. When you've done well, they're also there to rejoice with you. They can tell you the truth without blinking.

I have come to the position that not everyone is going to have that one best friend who is there through the years and knows all about you. If we do look closely though, we might be able to come up with a number of close friends who meet different needs in our lives and vice versa. If that's what we can get, then it's worth investing in the different relationships and keeping them going. Sometimes when I watch movies and see how some people have that one very close friend who is like family and knows everything about them like Oprah and Gail, I wonder what it would really be like to have that and then I realise those kind of relationships might exist but again might not be for everyone. They might also be easier to cultivate when people don't move away. These days though, it might be harder to cultivate such friendships with how much mobility we all have.

Over the years, I've watched how my mum has kept some friends. They might not see each other often but they're the same people she calls when she needs people to rally around her. They're there for her birthdays, her kids' weddings, same friends. What stands out is she didn't even meet some of these people till she was in her 30s but they have remained friends for about 30 years. They've watched each other give birth to their children, celebrated milestones together, sadly stood by some when they lost their husbands, now they're celebrating grandchildren together and many other things. My hubby and I then came to a conclusion that we haven't necessarily forged all our close friendships yet and that one could make the mistake of thinking one's life has already been lived when it's just starting actually. I'm keeping my mind open and seeing which of my present friendships or even new ones will make it into the future. I definitely want to have people to call on when I need them in the future.

In the past few years, I've met some amazing people who have been there for me in my dark times and in my good times. I want to take them with me to the future and I'm open to what God brings my way in terms of friendships. Sometimes it's as though I'm quite alone in this city where I live. I haven't lived here long enough anyway.

I'd like to hear your thoughts on friendships and learn a thing or two :)

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Thankful For My Little Boy and Everything Else

Bless the Lord, O my soul; And all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits: Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies, Who satisfies your mouth with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. Psalm 103:1-5 (NKJV) I've neglected blogging, yeah yeah, the busy line. My life is a flurry of activities at the moment. May God help me. I'm really grateful to God for a lot of reasons, I can't name them all. God has been far too kind so I'm just going to say what my human mind can remember. I'm so grateful for healing. The past 1 week has been a roller coaster with Mr king being admitted into hospital and all. He had to have a surgery to clear his airways. The surgery took longer than expected, apparently, he didn't breathe for some time. It was the longest 2 hours of my life. God glorified himself and brought our little charming boy back to us. He's back home now and recovering well. I'm thankful for deliverance, protection and safety for my family. Two weeks, hubby found a half dead scorpion in our dining area at night when I'd taken mr king to bed. Now Mr king is a professional cruiser and crawler and is all over the house, sometimes you find him rolling on the tiles, Next day, there was a small snake just outside where the kids play. God delivered us, I'm totally grateful. I'm thankful for that special miracle that God gave my husband and I. He's said He will use us as a sign and a wonder and He's being true to His word. I'm thankful for my darling hubby. He's just completed a programme and he made a distinction. With all he had to combine, the spirit of excellence on him is evident, God is faithful. I'm thankful for my charming little boy who's such a delight to me. He brings me so much joy with his antics and his recent love for patting my back when he's sleepy :) I'm thankful for my parents and siblings. God is keeping them alive, protecting the and giving them testimonies. I'm thankful for what God is doing in my friends' lives and helping them to make impact. Aloted's project superworking mum is really laudable. Rita has a book out that will impact lives, is making waves and will make more. So glad to have cool friends:) I'm thankful for love, for life, for friendship, for so many things. Over to you. What are you thankful for? Ps- I'm blogging from my mobile, so in case the formatting looks odd, please pardon me.

Friday, September 30, 2011

Writefreak Blogs Again; Who Do I say I Am?

Say what? I thought she was gone for good...

Hmmm, I thought so too. For some reason, I've been so engrossed in being a wife, a mom, an entrepreneur, a home maker that blogging hasnt been high on my list of priorities. A few times, I actually came here and then I silently went back out. I didn't know what to write. Yep, Writefreak, didn't know what to write! How ironic! I'm not out of ideas, it's just been tedious putting it together.
Maybe I'm back fully, maybe I'm not, I dont know. But it's my space and I can come as I wish, I think....Thanks to a friend who reminded me on yahoo messenger that I'm a blogger..:)

Loads have happened in the past 6 months for which I'm eternally grateful. Hopefully, gradually, I might get to share. For today, I'm blogging about an idea I got from aloted's.

I'm writing Ten good things about me.

1. I love God and seek His opinion on all the matters of my life, even the minutest details.

2. I'm very dedicated to my family. My hubby takes no 1 priority in my life, then comes my little boy (chairman). My siblings and parents are also always top on my mind. I make sacrifices for them everyday and i'm always willing to do it.

3. I'm a good writer. I get compliments about my writing skills all the time.

4. I am compassionate. I think people find it easy to talk to me about their problems. Hubby jokes all the time about me starting a Dear Aunt Pam column in a magazine.

5. I cook well. Hubby says my food is the best :) Not just him anyway because he'll be a partial judge LOL.

6. I am very neat and organised. I can't function properly in an untidy space. I like everthing spick and span.

7. I am quite amiable. People find me very likeable and i am easy to talk to.

8. I am easygoing and don't fish for trouble. I've never kept malice with anyone, I don't know how to do it.

9. I am entreprenuerial. I always quit my jobs to start something, so I have chosen to be my own boss.

10. I love children. I connect with them easily and people find it easy to leave their kids with me.

Gosh! There are actually so many good things about me, I could go on and on..

I'll stop there for now and leave you with this..I'm totally awesome! *cheeky grin*

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Writefreak Plus One

Writefreak returns o! Well, she didnt really go away. She was just quiet...very! So I return and I'm not alone. My husband and I welcomed our little man on the 5th of February. Yes, God blessed us with a little charmer...our son.
We feel so blessed to have been chosen by God to become his parents. Everytime I look at him, he reminds me of the faithfulness and awesomeness of Jehovah Elshadai.
I'm grateful to know the joy(s) of being pregnant and eventually giving birth. It can only be God!
This is a short post, my attention is needed but I have to say this to someone. God never forgets us, He will never deny us and if there's something you're trusting Him for, hang in there, hold on to Him, stay in Him and in His word. He'll come through for you. He did for us.
God bless you all. Have to go. The king calls! :)

Thursday, November 04, 2010

Thankful

My BBM status all of yesterday was 'Lord I know you are faithful, even when life seems so unfair'. My hubby joked that it was sounding like the kind of things people write to each other in a polygamous home and i told him not to worry, everyone know he only has one wife and he is faithful to her. He was kidding but i was serious about the status. A lot of times, we feel we haven't gotten what we deserve, or maybe people close to us but the bible makes me realise that God is ever faithful and He does no wickedness. Every good and perfect gift is from the father of light.

I know the God I serve, a faithful one and I'm thankful for the so many ways He is showing His faithfulness in my life and that of those close to me. I am thankful for the following reasons.

I can call God my father without a shadow of doubt, I can call Him my friend. I have access to the throne of grace anytime and everytime of the day. I am awed at this fact that God calls me His own and I am just thankful that I have a personal walk with Him.

I have a loving and faithful husband who never gives me a cause to doubt his love for me. We can talk about anything and everything without fear of being judged.I don't take this for granted. We share a beautiful relationship and it's not just because we know how to, it's because we have Christ at the centre of it all. Thank you Lord.

I'm thankful for the ability to be able to call on friends to pray and know that they will. It's awesome when you know there are people all around who cover you in prayer and that when you call on them, they will answer.

I've been in good health. My family and I are well. This is something I think I might have taken for granted but events in the past few days have made me realise that health is nothing to be taken for granted. Dear Lord, I am grateful!

It's awesome when you know you can minister to and inspire someone. I had one of such opportunities again yesterday and I'm thankful that God used me to turn a heart that was going astray back to Himself. He has given me the tongue of the learned that I may know how to speak a word in season to those who are weary!

A friend has been in hospital and although it seems she might have lost something, all is not totally lost. What the enemy meant for evil is turning out to not be a total loss. For this I'm extremely grateful.

Lastly, The Soulsistas are back! Aloted and I took an extended break from our blog but we're back now and for good this time I believe. I'm thankful that both our lives are wholesome enough for us to know we have things to say to our generation!

I could go on and on, God has been faithful to me. What are you thankful for?

Ps: We have a post up on the soulsistas blog, please check it out and don't hesitate to leave your comments.

Much love peeps!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Are we really free or Neo-colonised?

It's Wednesday, and I'm so thankful for God's grace and mercy. There are so many amazing miracles around me that I can't count.

But it's not really a thankful post. I'm bothered about something and I need to let it out. Aloted wrote a post recently and although I didn't comment on it, I was saying hear hear!

I know a lot of us would rather lose our green passport if we carry any and pick up a blue or red one for life. We hate this country. Does anything even work here? And for some of those who live abroad, when I hear comments they make about Nigeria, it makes me want to cry. There's nothing wrong with living abroad or anywhere but there's something wrong when you see no good in your own roots or your own culture.

Trust me, I know a lot is wrong with this country that should be fixed. We have a million and one challenges. Governance, leadership, etc etc..but it's not all gloom and doom. I watched a show yesterday and all the expatriates that were interviewed had one word in common about being here- opportunities. I kept listening for that word, which sadly a lot of my country men and women don't see.
This is actually not a post about patriotism either. I'd like you to be patriotic though. Your country is your country and even if you do carry another passport, your roots are here. Neo-colonialism is a word I'm sure a number of us are familiar with and I'm seeing a trend that is just making me so sad.

I have been guilty of it too. On Independence day, I asked hubby why the president couldn't have worn a suit and he wisely asked me why he should. Should he wear a suit so he can look colonised? That word got me thinking. But I had my pay back time a few days later (lol). Hubby accused me jokingly of speaking too much Yoruba when we visited a friend. I let him finish and I reminded him of what he told me. I asked him what was wrong with speaking too much Yoruba, not enough colonialism in that, is there? We all laughed.

I speak a lot of Yoruba, I grew up speaking mostly Yoruba to my parents and none of us (my siblings and I) has turned out badly in the English speaking department. Infact, two out of us five have English degrees, and the third person is on his way to bagging one. I speak very good English if I dare say so myself. My mum majored in English for her teaching certificate and she made sure we said English words with the right diction but she taught her children Yoruba. I see it as an advantage, I can hold my own speaking the two languages. Maybe she should have insisted I learnt a third language. I don't write Yoruba too well but I can write it.

On the show yesterday, a black American woman who had lived here for 33 years said she migrated because she wanted her kids to have a culture and a root and she insisted that they spoke only Yoruba in their house while growing up. She said we have a rich culture but we're losing it gradually. I agree and it's extremely sad. I don't do Yoruba traditional worship in case you're wondering lol.

These days I hear of kids who live here in Nigeria but can't eat any real Nigerian food. What in God's name is that? They can't even pronounce their own names correctly! And they think it's 'razz' to speak their native languages. If they can't speak, how can they write??? I'll blame a lot of it on their parents who have given them no sense of pride in their heritage. Some kids won't touch native wear ever, when they can wear jeans.

I saw something on facebook a few days ago and I actually ranted on my profile. Someone wrote 'erekpa lo wah shey'. Is that Yoruba or some foreign language??? I can understand when a non Yoruba peron writes like that but for a Yoruba grown man, it's just totally unacceptable. We should be able to write the basics of our own language. Erekpa is erepa, wah is wa and shey is se. I felt like giving him a lecture...I have seen people write 'jo' as jor. Please it's not an English word, no yoruba word ends with an R.

I bet such blunders might be going on with other Nigerian languages, only I don't know those languages.

I reject every form of colonialism, I am free and I refuse to resell my birthright. I'm proudly African, proudly Nigerian and proudly Yoruba. We should be proud of our rich heritage. I'm afraid the younger generation will meet no culture if we go on this way. God forbid that I let that happen to my children!

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Living with the Parents

I have a bit time on my hands so I've been watching some TV, actually maybe too much TV...:)
This post is inspired by a movie I saw on Africa Magic Yoruba. An elderly couple decide to go and live with their two sons. The younger initially refused but the older prevailed on him. The agreement is that each parent will spend six months each with their sons and swap.
The mother gives the wife a tough time, and gets angry when her son does not greet her before going to work. She wakes up early in the morning and goes to sit in their room saying she wanted to talk to her son. The wife walks out (I'm getting pissed already)
The father dishes out his own medicine. He won't let anyone serve him food aside his son's wife. If she goes out for hours, he refuses food lamenting that his son's wife is punishing him. Wife is watching a movie, he asks, and she says she's been watching out for the second part of the movie so she's happy they're showing it. Father in law decides he wants to play a music video at the same time. So she stops watching her movie.
The brothers eventually decide to send their parents back home since they were beginning to have problems in their marriages. I'm totally in support, infact, they shouldn't have waited that long.
Go forward some time, apparently their parents are cut off from them. Both children are having problems in their lives and the younger consults an Islamic cleric (the way they always go in our movies) and the cleric says he needs to get his parents shoes. The son says it's an impossibility. Eventually the cleric goes with him and they make up with the parents.
We're made to understand that these two young men are having problems because they sent their parents out of their home.
I've got a good question for the writer of this movie: does it mean children can't do right by their parents if they're not living together?
We later find out that the parents were informed by a herbalist to stay with their children for some time and pronounce blessings on them daily to make sure they have no issues in life. They're supposed to keep it a secret from the children.
I have another question. Do people actually consult herbalists in real life? Can't we reach resolutions in our movies without involving the spiritual? I'm a believer and I trust in God for solutions but I don't go round consulting different pastors! Ok, this actually isn't about me..
Are we still such a fetisg society?
The brothers find peace after they make up with their parents and their parents pray for them and forgive them.
No mention was made of what the parents did to their daughters in lawnd how they almost ruined their homes. The writer's focus was on the children sending their parents out.
Does it mean parents have a right to run their children's lives or take over their homes because they suffered for them and fended for them. So it's pay time and they must move in?
I'm totally for taking care of one's parents and supporting them. The bible encourages honouring our parents but I believe parents should allow their children live their own lives. Parents who respect themselves don't impose on their children in my opinion. I know there are circumstances when a parent has to live with their child, sometimes in case of illness or some other unforeseen circumstances. A lot of times though, a parent will side with their child against a spouse which might cause problems in the marriage. Many wives have been known to contend with mothers in law for their husbands' love while a lot of husbands have been made to suffer the wrath of protective mothers in law.
Our society believes children are parents' investments and a parent must depend on children as they get older. I've seen different cases though.
I won't flog it. We all should take care of our parents and not abandon them. Please honour your father and mother so you may live long and it may be well with you.
My question to you is this though; will you bring your parent to live permanently in your home with your spouse?

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Pick A Side

Anyone who knows me well enough knows that I am a stickler for what I believer, most of the time when it comes to making a decision or taking a stand, I say what I believe unapologetically. I try not to be obnoxious though. If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything, I totally agree with that and believe it.

There was a time when if you met a believer, by their words and action, you could say this person is indeed different or indeed a believer. Now, don't get me wrong, it's not about the mode of dressing. It's just something about them, it's the way they conduct themselves. Their conduct is not an arrogant air, it's just a calm assurance that comes from believing and having a relationship with someone greater.

I'll use the word Christian for a believer. Why the name? They were first Christians in the bible because they were Christ like. Their actions were different. They walked and talked differently and people said indeed they must be Christians. Everyone is a Christian now, so long as they belong to a church. Christianity is no religion, it is a way of life! Does Christ rule your actions and thoughts? Do you submit to His lordship?

In the book of James, the apostle said 'a double minded man is unstable in all his ways, let that man not think that he can receive anything from the Lord'. Who is a double minded man? One who can't make up his mind..one who can't decide where he wants to be, what he wants to be and how he wants to be. One who has refused to choose a side!

An interesting discussion ensued between some friends and I a couple of days ago and it has not stopped bothering me. It makes me ask the question are there still Christians (definitely)? Are we still allowing the author of life to reign in our thoughts and actions?

I came up with a story and said a believer I know is asking his wife to have an abortion since she's pregnant the third time and they're both workers in church. If she didn't do it, he was going to leave her. I said what I thought, abortion is murder and the fact that you didn't plan another kid is not enough to go ahead and kill a life you didn't give. I know pro choice ( or whatever people will have my head), no apologies, I believe the bible. Thou shall not kill has not been removed from the word of God.

The interesting bit is that I was said to be judging and that in matters of relationship between a man and a woman, every relationship has its own uniqueness. I don't really like arguing, most times I make my point and back down but you'll know where I stand. The conversation generated several topics but my issue was not resolved. It was painful to me that we were all Christians and subtly, the guy was excused from his 'sin'. A Christian guy would not be leaving his wife and asking her to have an abortion...afterall the bible says God hates putting away.

I know nothing is cast in stone and there are not only black and white lines, sometimes they're grey...with the word of God though, it's usually grey or white. God doesn't sit on the fence. I think that's why He said, 'choose o man, who you will serve'. I could rewrite that and say, 'dear human, you're either for or against me, pick a side'!

Do our unique circumstances sometimes excuse us from living as Christians, definitely not! If you have chosen to be a believer, please uphold the name of our God and live by His word. His commandments are not grievous!

On another note, women who have had real and serious reasons to terminate pregnancies (mostly medical) know how painful it is emotionally and physically and I think it's so superficial to go through it because you didn't plan another child. Can that person plan when to die? If you can, then pls plan when to give life.

I said to my friends, what if you did everything, took all measures (of family planning) and still ended up getting pregnant. It was disturbing for me that it was silently considered ok to make the choice you have to. Someone said 'if the husband allows her, she'll have a fourth'. And I dare say, it's not their fault, it's because they never stayed awake at night asking God for just one child. If they ever went through the pain of infertility, they would not think it's ok to end a life just because 'it was not in the plan'.

Part of the conclusion was that I'm too shielded, my marriage is too wonderful for me to know what's reality and I was priviledged to meet someone who really loves me and vice versa. I know I am but that was beside the point. There were insinuations that the said woman might have planned to get pregnant. In my story, she didn't plan it but I guess each person chose what they wanted to hear.

This is just one of many instances. The 21st century does not change the word of God. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. He won't change His mind about what He has said.

Whose side are you on? Please pick a side and live on the principles of that side.
The grass withers, the flower fades but the word of our God stands sure forever! Isaiah 40 : 8

Ps. Thank you Rita for inspiring me out of my hiatus. I don't promise to be here everytime just yet but I'll be back..
A lot happened while I was away, I added a year, a milestone, I turned 30, might talk about that later. I love you all bloggers and I kinda miss you :)

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Thankful

Bless the Lord o my soul and everything within me, bless His holy name...

I'm thankful for so many things that might sound very basic but I never ever want to take God's blessings in my life for granted.

For being a daughter to God and having a relationship where I can call Him my loving father.

For being married to the most wonderful man. My husband is very busy and under a lot of pressure but he never neglects me or our relationship.

For laughter in my home constantly. There's always a reason to smile even on the very blue days!

For my mum and dad and my siblings..God continually keeps them in good and perfect health.

For my sisters in law and their kids and husbands and for my brother in law. God continually keeps them all in health and we have peace.

For healthy, safety, and provision for hubby and I. It's wonderful to know God consistently watches over us.

For the way God always tries to get my attention and get His word to me. This week I have once again been reminded of how He alone should be first place in my life and not allow anyone or anything take His place. Thank you father for reminding me of what is most important.

For the wonderful friends that surround me. Sometimes I don't find comfort/understanding where I expect but God has given me some friends who continue to stand by me.

I'm thankful for all these and more, what are you thankful for???