Friday, November 21, 2008

JJC - Lots of change....

A lot is changing in my life..a lot has changed and a lot more is going to change.

Dear husband got an offer in Abuja, yes the federal capital territory, he wasn't so sure of it initially partly because we'd have to relocate our lives but i encourgaed him because i knew it was a very good move for him, so now he has taken the job and our lives will never remain the same again..

So i am a jjc in a city i have visited a few times before, i used to see it as a vacation spot cos Mr used to be on projects there and i would go and spend some time, living la vida loca, staying in hotels i see the city differently, trying to picture it as my new home.

I have had almost two weeks there, i love the wide roads, the calm spirit and we have both decided it's a good place to bring up kids. I love the fact that the streets have side walks and that they have street lights though a number of them are no longer working (we miss you El Rufai). I love the fact that cabs are cheap...i love a lot of things in Abuja but i hate the fact that accommodation in the main city (not on the outskirts) is so expensive. We have decided it's no use staying outside the town..i so hate Abuja landlords, but i will soon be one myself by God's grace..

Our first few days, we took a walk and i said wow, i almost have no friends in this city and we agreed in no time, we'd make new ones, then hubby suggested i title my next blog post JJC- friends

I am back in lagos for a few days and strange i miss Abuja a lot, traffic in Lagos is running me mad, i drove a 5 minute distance for over an hour yesterday. I am hating the traffic so much! I am looking forward to making a new home, although i wish the home was set and all i had to do was move into it. Now i have to set up a new home, great! But for now, i live in two worlds!

I see it as a new season and one that is full of blessings for my husband and i. I am looking forward to settling down in the new city and will hopefully fill you all in on how i get on....maybe a weekly update? Might be awol for a few days again considering i'm up and down but i will always be back, i love blogville too much!

Have a nice weekend people!

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Who do i say that i am???

Recently i have been going through some re-assessment and deciding what my next move is, a lot of changes will be happening in my life soon and i wanted to make sure that i'm prepared..will unfold the changes in bits...chief is that we'll be moving to another city..Part of the things i came up with is that i have been so bored and while i am doing business, it doesn't always occupy my time so i thought it might be nice to get a job even if it's part time while i write and run my business (which isn't bringing in so much money yet)...
You know those times we wonder if our lives have had any meaning recently..if we're really doing anything worthwhile and what we can do to change things..that's where i've been. Well in my typical fashion (that is changing now, i have promised myself)..i decided to talk to a friend who was in the process of giving me some business to do about it.. how i have been thinking and how i want to get a job when we move bla bla. You know, i just felt like i could be doing more and that there's more to me than the WF that wakes up now..
So i decided to talk to my friend on IM and the next thing she typed to me was ''you know your problem? you're lazy!'' Wow...where did that come from? All i wanted to say evaporated, this was an assessment of me i'd not heard before..then i turned to my hubby and asked him ''do you think i'm lazy?'..He was like 'no, i don't think so at all', his answer satisfied me but i thought 'ok he's my husband and won't want to hurt me'. So i sent aloted a text 'do you think i'm lazy?'She also didn't think i am. So where is this assessment coming from?
I asked my friend while we were still chatting and she said she'd talk to me about it later, what qualifies me as lazy, i wanted to know. I let her know though that i was not happy with her. Is it the fact that i left my job to see if i could hold my own in this society and make something out of a business, or is it the fact that i graduated with a 2:1? is it the fact that i am a writer who is yet to get published? Is it the fact that i don't have the dream job right now? So many thoughts raced through my head and it was a very demoralising day for me. I told my hubby,if i had the ideal job even if i didn't like it, had an official car and a driver although i didn't do anything all day, would i be termed as lazy?
Her hubby and i talked about it later in the day and guess what, my friend was upset with me for being upset about what she said. She was trying to push me she said as she knows i can be better than this. Did she have the right approach...i doubt it. She threw me into self doubt for a whole day and what was supposed to be a chat between two friends turned into a quarrel that their husbands had to get involved in, we're all family friends.
Well, we sort of resolved the issue but i had to deal with it on my own. This is not about my friend and anything she said to me, this is about me! I am not lazy, that i am sure of and what my friend or anyone says about me does not define who i am. What defines who i am is what God says about me and what i say about myself.
I might nto be at my destination yet, i might have missed it a number or times, i might have made some wrong decisions but i am a work in progress and i will get there, God willing! I am on my way to my destination and i will get there!!!
So how do you define yourself? I for a moment there allowed what a friend said about me to define me. We need to know who we really are, hold on to that and go back to check it when contrary situations come our way
Have a nice weekend everyone!