Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Lifemate or Baby

I had an interesting discussion with a friend a few days back which inspired some thoughts that i'd like to share. We were talking about a couple going through some challenges in their marriage and it sent me down the thought path as usual. Speaking of challenges in marriage, it seems a lot of people are having it really rough and wearing plastic smiles to cover it up. I hear a lot of stories these days and i can't but be thankful for what hubby and i share.

Ok so we were talking about kids and how for some people, that seems to be the only thing keeping their marriage going. All their discussions and time together is spent either taking care of the kids or talking to each other about the kids. It amazes me how a couple who used to be so in love can almost become strangers to each other. What they were quick to overlook before or forgive become an unpardonable sin! What was the attraction then becomes a note of repulsion.

We have a culture that celebrates mediocrity and that does not pay attention to the most important things. A couple who has been married ten years and are obviously in love are a failure because they have no child yet but a school drop out who is a single parent (don't get me wrong, i am not castigating single parents) or a forced second wife is a woman and has more respect because of a child. I feel like swearing...*hiss*. I digress a bit but is this the most important thing?

I have seen how many women have kids and it's as if everything including their husbands just fall into last place. The only thing that matters becomes the kids and this definitely creates a rift between the man and the woman. Some men will complain and if no changes made, eventually seek solace outside the home or some will just bear the pain alone and wonder if it would be selfish to demand attention from their wives considering they have a baby at hand.

I know it can't be easy and i haven't done it before so pardon me if i am not talking from experience but some things just require common sense. It must be a tough call but one that every woman who wants a loving and lasting relationship needs to take. Hubby and i will have enough children, as much as we like but they are secondary to our relationship, not that i don't intend to take care of my kids but not at the detriment of our relationship. Children will leave the nest and then what will be left?

I will always remember how i fell in love, how i was swept off my feet, i will always remember what being naive and being in love is like and i will always remember the times my husband and i have spent together. They are memories to cherish and give me something to look forward to. So is it worth jeopardising this for kids who will eventually have their own lives???

Maybe if a lot of women have at the back of their minds that they are only wards over their children and the kids are not their property, it might bring things in perspective and let us hold on to what is important! I hear a lot about how marriage is not worth it without children and yada yada. I beg to differ, i would rather have a loving marriage with no kids than have a loveless marriage with many children. And thank God i don't even have to choose. I will have both!

So my question is this what would you rather have? Would you rather have a baby or loving relationship? Or to rephrase, which should take priority? A baby or one's partner? Would love to hear your responses!

Monday, September 22, 2008

Blogville Award + Update

Yay!! I received a blogville award from aloted

I'm grateful for the award and feel humbled by it, it makes me happy when all of y'all come up here and say something i wrote blessed you or you enjoyed it!

To everyone who reads my blogs, i say thank you, to all of you who check me up even when i'm missing in action, thank you so much. You all are wonderful and i love being a part of blogville!

Ok Here are the rules to follow:
1. When you receive the prize you must write a post showing it, together with the name of who has given it to you, and link them back
2. Choose a minimum of 7 blogs (or even more) that you find brilliant in their content or design.
3. Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing they were prized with an award
4. Show a picture of those who awarded you and those you give the prize (optional).
5. And then pass it on!

I hereby pass on the award to the following in no particular order:

I love you and your blogs and I think you deserve this award. Take care

So where have i been? I just want to thank God for His mercies and taking care of me when i was down. I was really ill and couldn't even do anything but now i'm back on my feet, thanks to God and my wonderful husband who is always there for me when i need him, i'm almost as good as new and you guys definitely aren't rid of me yet!

Feels good to be back!