Tuesday, May 26, 2009

I Asked for it!!

Honestly when I saw all the questions like Temite said, I was like gosh I have gone and put myself in hot water. I then thought, come on, you can do this, so here is my attempt at answering all of your questions. Hope you enjoy a glimpse into Writefreak’s world.

Adaeze said which city DO you live

I live in Abuja, FCT, Nigeria

Beulah said WriteFreak, I love your writing style. Have u ever published any book (i mean novel)?

No i haven't published any book yet but i have written my first book and i'm looking for a publisher at present. Thanks for the compliment dearie

chayoma said what got you blogging?

My friend aloted inspired me to start blogging in 2006. I used to work in customer care in telecoms and i think i did my first post i think while i was on a night shift. lol. Yeah so Aoted got me blogging and some boredom..lol..

OPTIMISTIC_alyzzz said I really want to know what type of person u are outside blogsville, are u quiet loud, do u smile often do u make friends fast, are u happy?

I won't call myself quiet, neither will Isay I'm loud. I can be sanguine but I also have a chilled out side to me. Yes I do smile often and I make friends fast. You don't wanna know how many friends I've made on blogville! lol. I would like to say though that the people i call friends are really few. Oh I am very happy! Well I would want to use the word joyful because joy is of the heart and I think happiness is fickle. Happiness comes from a particular thing, joy is a state of mind. I would therefore say I'm joyful, this translates to me being happy...lol..did I confuse you yet?

goodnaijagirl said

You want a question eh?

What do you see as the best parts of your character, and what do you see as your flaws?

Girl, what's your own now? Mscheew..Ok here we go sa

Best parts: i'm friendly, i forgive easily, Some people have described me with the word kind, i am open, infact sometimes i say i'm like a book, you can read me easily, is this even a good part? For instance, the mr can tell i'm upset once i start singing some songs..lol. I'm motherly, i tend to want to take people under my wings and look after them and i think i'm homely. Someone also recently described me as having a good heart. I have tenacity, i know how to stay with something and make it work...Errr..i'm still thinking, when i come up with more, i'll let you know.

Flaws: I tend to please people even at my own detriment (i'm working on that with pple like you on my case(sticking my tonge out at you)), I am quite sensitive and little stuff can get me upset. I can be lazy when i want to be. I could sit down all day doing everything else aside my work, oh yes and i procrastinate, i tend to move from one project to the other without completing the first, i'm working on this. You should see me when i'm doing chores, i'm doing dishes, then i remember something and leave it and go do something else in the bathroom. I might be too trusting, i just believe everyone is speaking the truth, sometimes my husband is amazed at my naivety. Oh and my sense of timing seems sometimes lost, I always push things till the last minute. I've been known to get to interviews at the nick of time...lol..with a lot of stunts inbetween. And lastly, I can be impatient. I really hate waiting....

Then she had a brain wave and said : One more question: If you weren't a writer, what do you think your career would be?

Hmm what would my career be? I honestly don't know. I'm one of those kids who was never really sure what they wanted to be growing up and hoped to find themselves as they went along. I'm glad i did. Oh yes, I think I know, I would probably teach nursery...yes i love kids like that! Someday I am going to have my own preschool and maybe full school alongside being a writer.

Original Mgbeke said

1. What have been the greatest challenges that you faced since becoming a Born Again Christian?

2. When and why did you decide to give your life to God? Have you had any serious slip-ups since then?

3. List 3 things that you consider to be your best character traits, and 3 of your worst?

My greatest challenge i think was being at loggerheads with my dad after i got born again. He's a Catholic and i stopped going to the Catholic church. In retrospect, I'm wiser now and I might not do some of the things I did back them but a lot of times I got sent out of the house several times after getting back home from church. I would do things differently now though.

I think i already answered this question but i would say it was 1996 that i had a total change and since then, no i haven't had any slips! I thank God for that.

I answered the third question already :-)

a.k.a BaGucci said: What one or two or three thing(s) can you say made the difference for you in your walk of faith?

Interesting question. First, the friends i had. I thank God for godly friends. I became a Christian when i was in JS1 in 89/90 for the first time but i promptly forgot about it lol and over the next 6 years i kept giving my life and taking it back. Then in 1996, i met a set of wonderful friends my age, we were leaving secondary school and their waslk of faith challenged me. When people spent their spare time waiting for uni partying or lazing around, we spent most of ours praying and sharing the word. It made a whole lot of difference. I can never forget those friends. Over the years, I've been blessed with godly friends.

The second thing i would say is attending a bible based church.

babajidesalu said

1) How do you deal with Sadness?

2) Do you have a mood you have to be in before you post to your blog?

3) What areas in your life do you think we ought not to be aware of?

4) Would you ever reveal your identity as a blogger?

5) How would you defend Nigeria as a nation in spite of its reputation as a corrupt nation?

6)At what point did you realise people appreciate what and how you write?

7) Has there ever been a 'eureka' moment in your life?

8)Name a good writer in your humble opinion and why?

9)What was your background like at home, if you care to share?



Haha! So many questions! But i think i'm up to the task, catch me if you can.

How do i deal with sadness? Well i would say that sometimes i enjoy a pity party, i know i shouldn't but tears are sometimes therapeutic. Then like David, i encourage myself in the lord, i read the word concerning my situation, speak it to myself and then i play some good praise and worship songs...that's it!

Blogging, yes sometimes, i have to be in the mood, if i'm having a rough time personally, then i might not be able to blog around that time.

I don't have skeletons in my cupboard. But there are some things about my personal life that i wouldn't share openly, i think we all have those stuff.

As a blogger on my blog, maybe I won't reveal my identity but i'm aware i'm not totally anonymous. I'm friends with a number of bloggers, some i met while blogging and some before. And even some people who know me personally visit my blog.

Well i would say this, Nigeria might have a lot of corrupt people but other nations have them too. Also the fact that a portion of the populace is corrupt does not make everyone so, there are people like me in Nigeria lol...that;s what i would say. Don't generalise, not every Nigerian is corrupt.

I think i've known since i was a child that my writing is appreciated. My sister and i used to write silly stories as kids.

Yes i have had a number of eureka moments, one that stands out right now was the day i walked hand in hand down the aisle with my prince charming!

I think Abidemi Sanusi is a good writer, i like the way she spins words and her humour

My background? Well, my mum is a teacher and my dad is a retired civi/public servant (he's been both). I am the first of 5 kids. I think that's all i want to share.

Well, a good title for a novel? I'm not sure, still trying to come up with one for mine! lol

downtheaisle said:

Do u have kids???, if yes, u never blog about dem y?, and if No, why (I'm just curious)

No i don't have kids yet and I believe we will have them at the right time, in God's own time.

Tigeress said:

Anyway my questions:

1. do u ever face temptations and how do you deal with it

2. what are the most important things to look out for when looking for a partner

3. How important is God in a relationship

4. Is IVF not having faith in God

5. When Paul spoke about the thorn in his flesh in 2Corinthians 12:7-9. Pls pls pls tell me you know what it means. I think i know what it means but i'm hoping i'm wrong.

I don't know the sort of temptation you mean but yes like every human being i face temptation, e.g temptation to tell a half truth. I usually remember what God's word says and i try to apply it to that situation, sometimes i speak it to myself or roll it over in my mind and that helps me get through it. Sometimes though, i fall but i rise again!

When looking for a partner, i think godliness comes first, does he believe in God? is he a believer? Next, character. Check how he relates to his family, his siblings and people around him. Can you deal with him treating you like that? Purpose. Does he have something he's doing and something he's aiming for? Does he know where he's going or at least have an idea? For me, someone's present isn't as important as their future. There are more but i think those are the most important.

I would answer the third question with Amos 3:3. 'Can two walk together if they don't agree'? If God is no 1 in your life, then he should be in your partner's life. A christian marriage is a relationship between two people under the umbrella of God.

I don't think IVF is not having faith in God. God gave doctors the wisdom they use. You're not going against His will by seeking medical help to have a child so I really don't think it's not having faith. God can use different channels to bless us.

Thorn in the flesh? Hmm Tigeress me i don't know o! lol...i think it might be a cross one has to bear, honestly i will need to find out on this.

aloted said: do you think life is clear cut black and white...or are there any grey areas? Please explain

No I don't think life is just black and white. I believe there are grey areas, even , the greys could be in different shades. Some things in life are not just clear cut. For instance i personally believe abortion is murder but i'm aware there are cases where it might have to be done. There are some cases where it's the mother's or the baby's life. I'm aware one can never say never until you're in a particular situation.

Enkay said: one question - Will you ever post on this blog excerpts of any of your written works?

Yes I will and i have done that before, i have posted two short stories on here before. If you want to read them, i can try to get the links for you.

justdoyin said

question? what do u consider ur strenghts and weaknesses?...

Why do you all want to know these? lol...anyway i answered this question already! lol

Phew...i think i've answered all the questions already! I'm giving myself a standing ovation. lol.

Thank you all for letting me share of myself with you!

Ps: Please swing by soulsistas, did a post there last week.

QMoney: Thanks for the support my sister. You didn't ask any question but you gave me moral support, thanks dearie

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

It's Wednesday!

I missed my thankful series last week. I had a lot going on. I had a deadline to meet, a friend staying over, and a lot of other stuff but I'm back. I realise I might not do this every week but I will always come back to do it because I always have reason to be thankful. I will choose to always focus on the things God is doing in my life and the blessings and the positives because it means that's all I need now. If I don't have it yet, I don't NEED it yet... Really, what don't I have that I can't do without?

So Aloted had an idea that we should list 5 things starting with our name that we're thankful for. This isn't premeditated so I am just going to do this as we go along. I'll be thanking God for 5 things that start with W, let's see if I can do this...lol

I am thankful it is Wednesday. This is the day I have set apart to reflect on my blessings and focus on thanking God. It's a day that I am reminded that I have a good life and it can only get better. Wednesdays to me signify Worship.

I am thankful for a Working marriage. I realise a lot of marriages are suffering, couples treating each other to silent treatments, arguments and disagreements all the time and a host of other things but I have a blessed marriage which i don't take for granted. Ours isn't void of disagreement because then it will be a sham but we find a way to resolve our issues without them degenerating.

I am thankful for the Weather. It's bright and sunny. I sometimes complain about the sun being too much in this city but i realise some people are longing for the sun to come out. Oh and the shining of the sun reminds me that no matter how dark a situation is, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. I read a Karen Kingsbury book recently and learnt something fromt the character with Downs Syndrome ; 'when it's raining, you only have to look hard enough at the sky, the sun will be ready to shine'.

I am thankful for Water. I watched a documentary recently where people had to store rain water all year because they just didn't have water. I have the tap running in my house 24 hours of the day. It might look small but it isn't to me, water is essential to life.

I am thankful that I am a Writer. I have found my gift and the ability to express that gift. It is not a small blessing and for this I am thankful. For several years after University, I knew what I didn't want but I needed to know what I really wanted. I am glad to say I am finding myself. It might contradict the average person's definition of success but I am at peace and I know for me the definition of success if finding that thing you love, that God has destined you for and being able to do it.

And to show you I can find something else, a 6th thing...lol, I am thankful for Writefreak who is a work is progress. I am thankful for the total ME.

Ps: I realise this is my 101st post, and I want to give y'all my friends the opportunity to ask me a question or the other which i will tackle in my next post. It will give me motivation to blog the next time. I'll leave it open for a few days or maybe till the weekend and then I will answer the questions. Please note that I would appreciate a sense of decorum and polite questions. If i find a question offensive, then I reserve the right not to answer it.
This is your opportunity if you've wanted to ask me anything about myself...gosh, i hope i don't regret this.

Have a nice rest of the week everyone!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

A Writer Writes...

I haven't been on my blog in almost a week...i haven't been reading blogs, neither have i been commenting. Only aloted made me come out of my sabbatical when she said my attention was required on her blog. I was wondering what trouble i'd gotten into..lol. Turns out i didn't commit a sin afterall.

I've been Mega busy, writing and trying to concentrate so i decided to stay off blogging, and i actually succeeded. I think deadlines help me because when I dont have them, I just typically keep procrastinating. With deadlines though, I would still push till the last minute. Gosh I could win an award for being a 'crash worker'. *sighs*...wish there was an award for that.

I've been doing what i should do as a writer, and it's to write. I should be doing more though and I plan to. I was busy rewriting a script which I just finished. I've come up for some fresh air. I need to start working on something new, cant lose the steam. You know how good it feels to be paid for something you love doing? It feels so good...I won't even talk about that now.

So I have a publisher dilemma and I'm trying to decide what to do. I know some of you guys have published stuff or are in the process of doing so, I need your advice. I submitted to two of the high flying ones but nothing was forthcoming. I sent to a publisher in Ibadan sometime late last year and he only recently said I should send the rest of the book as they can't make up their minds based on the first three Chapters. It's been with them about 8 months now, and he said it might take another 9 months to reach a decision. *sighs*. I'm a bit skeptical about sending the whole manuscript but I know I'm not really experienced in this, so I want to ask, what do you guys think? Should i send it? Are there other publishing houses that will be willing to work with an unknown writer like me? Should I go the self publishing route? I don't want my manuscript to be another one that never sees the publishing daylight. I completed it over a year ago and I don't want to give up. I haven't been motivated to write any other long stuff cos I just want this one published!

Any ideas from you good people in the house? While I wait though, i will continue to write because that is what I love to do. I am a writer, I love to write. A writer writes!

PS: I just noticed this is my 100th post...it's interesting considering I've been blogging since 2006 though i used to be what you;d call a seasonal blogger..lol. So happy 100th post to me!

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Would you let them stay?

I grew up always having relatives and older people in our house, although i am the first child of my parents. Looking back now, i can't remember a time when there was no aunt or uncle or cousin staying with us. Some of those people have helped to shape in who i've become today and some of them have left a bitter taste in my mouth.

First was my Aunt Y whom i loved so much and i still love a lot. She's my mum's half sister and she made the house fun. She was so loving and hardworking. We all simply adored her. At the same time Aunt Y lived with us, we had Aunt B who is my cousin actually on my dad's side. Aunt B had a meanness sent from hell and a special dislike for me. Till this day, I don't know why! Maybe cos she knew i was close to my mum. I don't know. Aunt B grew up to become promiscous and unfortunately,Aunt Y had to stop living with us. She was our shield from Aunt B's wrath and i cried when she left us. I love her so much.

Then Aunt B alone lived with us for a very long time and when my mum was running a course which took her away from home a lot, Aunt B brought home different men and sometimes didn't make food for us. I was only 6, there was little i could do. Aunt B beat me so much i took to running away from home to stay at my mum's friend's a lot of times. Gosh i was so afraid of her! At a time, us kids planned to deal with her and we all said we'd teach her a lesson and beat her...well she came in and only my immediate sis had the guts to pounce on her, rest of us were shaking like leaves. Oh! My poor sis got the beating of her life that day! Sis, i'm still sorry we were all cowards that day! We shoulda fought and taught her a lesson. Maybe the abuse would have reduced if not stopped!

I have a scar on my right arm because of aunt B's disappearing act. My mum was out to school and it was getting rather late. There was no dinner. I was about 6 or 7 and we were all hungry so i decided to fry plantain. Well i did fry the plantain but ended up with a swollen thumb on my right hand for about a month. I had to go dress it at the clinic and all that. I almost hated Aunt B

Fast forward 20 years, Aunt B is a mother of 2 who abused her pastor husband to the point that he left her when his manhood was almost taken from him. Guess what, Aunt B wanted moi, yes moi, to assist her with money and stuff like that. She actually came begging to my house. I am generally not a heartless person and i did give her some money but i made my dad warn her not to come back. My parents did their best to bring her up in the right way and after all they did, i shouldn't have to continue! What goes around comes around. Maybe she remembered her ill treatment of me or not, i really don't know.

While Aunt B lived with us, several other cousins used our house as stopovers or a place to fill in the blanks in their lives either temporarily or not! My mum, God bless her, she's too accommodating. There's an incident that's never left me, i was about eight, i was lying on the bed and my cousin, a guy said we should wrestle. He was short, very short and must have been about 8 years older. It sounded like fun and i was all for it till he was lying on top of me and i just felt what he was doing didn't make sense. I told him i wanted to stop. I got off the bed and left the room not really understanding what happened till several years later. I remember on a particular day he locked me and a guy in the room and i kept screaming and throwing stools before i was let out. His intention, i don't know till today but i'm glad i came out of it untouched. He still visits, he's close to my mum, but somewhere in my head, i can't get over it. I never told my mum though.

I won't ramble on and on, there were too many...too many of them and some of the experiences were horrible. It was an older cousin who made sure we never had whole pieces of meat to ourselves for a long time. She'd divide them, we were too young to eat whole pieces of meat. It was the same cousin who made sure my sis who i'm only a year older stop calling me by my name and added the Sister prefix, i think that 'almost' killed our relationship and i'm not sure we eevr recovered from it. I wish i could rewind and fight her with all my might now!

There were too many incidents but I've come to a decision, while my kids are growing up, i shall have no relative living with me. I don't want a wedge between my kids and i. I don't want them influenced wrongly, i don't want so many things...

This post has made me very emotional...it was inspired by GNG's post. I just went down memory lane. I know it's not that bad and a lot of people when through worse things. But i'm angry i did, i'm angry there were too many people in our house, i'm angry for a long time, we didn't get to be a real family....but i guess there's some therapy in writing.

I won't let them stay, call me a witch or not but i will protect my kids from external influence as much as i can and trust God to do the rest. Would you let them stay?