Monday, November 02, 2009

Writefreak Rants!

It's a rant...if you don't want to read a rant, don't read...

Why is my househelp stupid? I mean seriously, why? You send her to do something, she comes back with something else? Is she dumb or what? You see, thats why i don't think i could ever have a live in help cos i just might maim someone! She only comes once a week and she gives me this much stress already...what's going on with the girl sef?

Two weeks ago, i sent her to the market cos i only needed to buy a few things. Let's call her J. J, please buy goat meat and turkey and i took the pains to write it all down and when through it with her. J, is that ok? Yes ma, she says and leaves. She comes back and i'm too lazy to check what she bought, was working on something so i said well, put it all in the freezer. J goes home. Fastoforward to evening, i want to cook the turkey and i can't find it, and i'm wondering what's going on...i see a tin of turkey oil in my store and i'm wondering how the heck did this get here? I thought someone gave the Mr as a gift...i kept looking in the freezer and thought i'd call to ask her exactly where she kept it. I decided to use the goat meat instead. The bag was black that it was in, i wanted to make pepper goat meat, my husband loves it...i opened the bag and i was just in shock..J bought beef, dear God, has she got cotton in her ears? So i can't hold on any longer, i call her and she said no man, na goat meat i buy, i say J are you alright? And where's my turkey? J says it's in the store, ok...i won't kill someone in Jesus name! J fall my hand, i just dropped the call while she was saying sorry ma (gosh, i will so slap that girl if she says another sorry ma...what is wrong with her?) and i made do with the beef!

So why am i ranting today? I sent J to the market again cos i had an appointment and seriously i just didn't want the stress ( i should have known better!)...i write a list; beef (not goat meat this time since she likes beef although we don't really eat red meat), turkey ( dear old turkey) and some dried fish. J, do you understand? Yes Ma, we go over it several times, she even asks me where she's not sure of what i wrote. I go for my appointment, i come back, she's not back. I have a headache and want to sleep but she's not back so i wait up..J comes back and i decide to check everything she bought...oh yes J bought everything and bought turkey alright, only this time the turkey was chicken. For crying out loud, pls help me ask this child, how does chicken look like turkey??? And i asked her, she insisted it was turkey! Miss, is something wrong with you? Is it today i started cooking turkey? I check again and the drumsticks convince me it's chicken. J says i'm sorry ma and i lose it. I yell at her and asks her how she managed it, she says they showed her and she chose what she wanted and thought was turkey, pls what happened to asking? I even told her where to go since i've been to the market with her sooo many times! I've sent her back with it to the market...i don't care how she sorts it out but she has to learn that she can't continue working with me and remain stupid...cos that's just plain stupid! So much for me not wanting to stress is why i didn't go to the market.

An old friend (are we even friends) and i chat briefly, i ask about her husband and she says oh he's fine and so is my daughter...please, who asked her? I didn't even know she has a daughter, you didn't even tell me! Why should i ask about a daughter i don't know..then i say oh my bad, you have a daughter now, and she goes oh, so you didn't know, thought i told everyone, it's my bad..what nonsense! Maybe i'm overreacting but excuse me, should you not tell me you have a daughter before i can ask about her? And i didn't ask so you might as well have said i have a daughter now..

Ok, deep breath! Wf...calm down, ok...i feel better already, now that i let it all out..

Hope you all had nice weekends and please don't ever employ a J, it can be dangerous to your health!

35 comments:

Arewa said...

I feel ur pain. I have ended up with sausage rolls from tfc instead of frankfurters, coke instead of diet coke (arrrrrggggghhhhhhh) and everytime I ask my maid for water to make peppermint tea she ends up making bournvita for me. All tea is not hot chocolate ya retard!

Arewa said...

And I'm first yayyyyy!!!!! And they try to frustrate u into doing stuff urself but if u r lazy like me you still depend on their slow behinds. Sucks :(

leggy said...

lol...when i was little we had a help like that and my mum got so frustrated that she sent her home and didnt get anyone else.lol

Gee said...

looool!!!
J ooooo...reminds me of how my mum used to complain about ALL our helps lol!
hmmm pepper goat meat...sounds nice ooo!!!

Myne Whitman said...

Pele, I guess there are somethings you just do yourself. Such a help will be better at cleaning and washing methinks.

Well you've let it out. Have a better week.

Rita said...

Phew! There, it is out!!!

Sorry oh. For me, now I write my list and I put description by the side and who the person should meet in the market...

LOL @ the daughter issue...

BBB said...

househelp palava...
d last one we got had to leave when she got pregnant for a police she saw wen she was sent to d market
imagine!!!!

Azazel said...

Lmao damnnnn hun i feel for u mehn. This is serious fukerey, ur househelp has been messin up lol.

aloted said...

ore, i actually found this post funny..lol..@ J. turkey oil?? lol

Pele dia

Repressed One said...

LOL!!! i shouldn't laugh but your rant was funny. Like aloted asked...turkey oil?? What on earth is that? J is looking to be slapped it seems like.

Pele...try not to stress out too much. Hope your week gets better.

MilesPerHour said...

Ranting is a good way to get stuff out so I'm glad you did.

~Sirius~ said...

LOL, LMAO! ROTFLMAO!@ J.

Rant away jare.....

My goodness!

Make me wonder how thick some people really are.

As for the daughter friend, *tsk*

Take it easy......

QMoney said...

BREATHE INNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.................
BREATHE OUT......................
Luv u,really cant spend so much time here..jus take it easy...aite......the babe prolly jus had a J piss her off as well....

Dee! said...

Whew! I feel you. I really feel you!

I've always thought only the dumb ones come to me! lol! Now I know they are not limited to me alone. Are they all this dumb?? I have had the likes of J over the years. Its like each one of them come with their own level of dumbness!

The sad thing is that as soon as they begin to "pick up" their "agents" will recall them and one start the same process all over again.

Take am easy sha!

simeone said...

lol..eyahh..what shall be done to this j...?
give her a picture..of turkey and goat meat ..the next time she's going..rotf

jhazmyn said...

Oh my, sweetheart, i cant stop laffing...

Blowing Blessings Your Way said...

Sorry ooo...that ur house help is very very very special...i can only imagine....just breathe, lol turkey oil tho? wow!

goodnaijagirl said...

Oya, wa gba this big hug I have waiting for you! It sounds like you had a very stressful day indeed. Um, I'm thinking that J needs to be told she has one more strike and then she will be replaced! You do not need anymore stress in your life. Consider this a lecture!!!

♥♥

Enkay said...

Sorry o! I know the incident upset you but I was laughing as I read your post.

Capital M-U-M-U! lol!

Adaeze said...

Aww. You had a bad day. *hugs* Sorry I haven't been around. here i am though. Thanks for stopping by my blog aswell. How are you feeling now? better I hope? Don't kill me, but I can't help but feel a bit of pity for this J. Are u sure she's not just unhealthily shy and doesnt know how to speak up? Nevertheless, she should do a hell of a lot better job..shy or not everyone needs to get out there and fight right? lol. Anyways..i hope u feel better. love!

NoLimit said...

LOL!!! pele...Turkey!!! hee hee hee...seriously I'm trying not to laugh but...muhahahahahaha!!!

Fragilelooks said...

i hate house helps or watever they are called.ever since my dad married one(heavy sigh) they are eida dumb or asses.can't live with one. never...

Fragilelooks said...

i hate house helps or watever they are called.ever since my dad married one(heavy sigh) they are eida dumb or asses.can't live with one. never...

Vera Ezimora said...

LOL!

J is a clown. I can understand beef instead of goat and chicken instead of turkey, but turkey oil instead of turkey? Hahahahahahahaha.

Okay, that one takes the cake.

Olufunke said...

I guess you feel 'berrer' now.
There are so many Js out there, it can be frustrating.

Still LOL@ turkey oil.........
pele dear.

temmy tayo said...

Now I am glad that someone else actually feels my pain.

Sometimes, I just feel like taking it all out on her but I always remember that I promisd myself never to touch or beat her.

As for the daughter issue,maybe u over reacted. Maybe not joo...

Parakeet said...

honestly I laffed...i think u shud get rid of her.

N.I.M.M.O said...

LWKM. This was a real rant!

On J, I understand that they do it sometimes just to upset you.

Don't let me start on our help.

Just take it easy with her.

Favoured Girl said...

Sorry I had to laugh at your help's antics. I guess I find it funny cos it's not happening to me. Pele dear, I know how easy it is to lose my patience when someone doesn't understand simple instructions.

As for the daughter issue, I guess your friend just assumed you knew...

rayo said...

she reminds me of sum1. as per ur friend tho, u kinda overeacted, she probably thot u knew, or was tryna find a way to let u kno...

Original Mgbeke said...

Pele o jare, I can imagine how frustrated J must make you feel. Na to dismiss am soon while you search for someone else. Sometimes helps can give too much wahala oooo.
My sister, all these friends who never update you on stuff. I dey wonder o!

HYAW said...

hehehe... i couldn't stop laughing at your rant. i used to ask the same thing everyday about our househelp, at a time i started to believe she liked to do it on purpose just to piss you off, until i read somewhere in proverbs which said something like...'if you keep telling a servant not to do something, she would still keep doing it, until you use a rod' when i saw it, i just couldn't stop laughing.

i didn't know i stopped following you when i changed my template. hope you've been good.

lamikayty said...

lol! Pele...J's ar all over the place. I've had 2 thus far and thankfully the last was better than the first.
I spoke Yoruba, English and broken combined but some brains are wired that way and cannot unwind!
Thank you for making me laugh!

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

wow, I wonder if
1) K can't read
2) J has some sort of disability that prevents her from following/remembering things

Either way, J can be costly sha. I know what its like when you want to make your hubby something special and you don't have it.na wa.

Anyway, babe, how far?

m1ke said...

thanks for this post. precise point. who ask ur friend whether she don born. she just wan show off jare. na normal human xteristics