Classics from work

Customer: Please my phone is saying 'fertility problem' and i can't make calls
Me: Did you say your phone is saying fertility problem?
Customer: Yes i did. That's what it is telling me

I needed to be sure i was hearing right and not my mind playing tricks, i was!I had been talking to so many people about babies and stuff, so it could have been my mind. This guy confirmed to me again that's what he said.
Ok, so i had to laugh, how does your phone have a fertility problem? Please does anyone know? I asked him to hold on and checked his line, what this guy was calling a fertility problem was a barring on his outgoing calls which he activated himself by the way? What do you do with this kind of person? Well, you look the other way at their seeming 'stupidity' and offer the help you can in your nicest voice. Tough,huh? Not really, can sometimes be fun

Customer 2: Network is refusing to be present in my area
Me: (Can't help being sarcastic)Excuse me, i'd like to confirm if you said network is not present in your area?
Who is taking attendance that network is not present...lol..If you don't have network, tell me there's no network in my area. Some of these guys in a bid to speal big English sound really idiotic

Customer 3 is Mr i'm feeling big who calls to say 'i work in so and so or i run my own business, been using my line for 5 years and i always recharge with huge amounts of money. When i bought this line it, was so many thousands, not now that every one can walk up and pick up a line'. This guy goes on and on about his status and i'm wondering 'oh please, get to the point'
Then he goes i'm finding it difficult to recharge my line (i'm like thank you Jesus, we finally get there) and then he goes on 'so i can't call my business partner'...bla bla and there we go again....Here i am feeling like telling this guy, can we cut out the crap and let's just deal with the issue? But work ethics command i have to find a way to be respectful and helpt his guy get to the point...Arrrrrggghhhhhhhhhh...that can be sometimes frustrating....

Let me spare you guys the rest or you want to hear more? Well, i'll determine if there'll be a part 2 from your responses...lol

Oh one more: I finish talking to this guy and then he says please may i have your name again, i tell him 'writefreak (of course not!), then he goes, from telecoms (mentions the name of my company) abi? Please isn't that dumb? Which number did he dial and what company was he calling?

On the personal end, been busy working on my book, i've missed my deadline of October end again (and my dear hubby is really upset with me, i wonder how he would be as a publisher. I so appreciate the push though, or else i would have packed up th book since, he's been a great encouragement) but good news i'm working on the final three chapters now, wish it could just end there. Nah, have to edit from the beginning, then start the publishing runs...i'll get there...

Ok peeps...later, i'm out, work calls!