Sunday, November 04, 2007

Classics from work

Customer: Please my phone is saying 'fertility problem' and i can't make calls
Me: Did you say your phone is saying fertility problem?
Customer: Yes i did. That's what it is telling me

I needed to be sure i was hearing right and not my mind playing tricks, i was!I had been talking to so many people about babies and stuff, so it could have been my mind. This guy confirmed to me again that's what he said.
Ok, so i had to laugh, how does your phone have a fertility problem? Please does anyone know? I asked him to hold on and checked his line, what this guy was calling a fertility problem was a barring on his outgoing calls which he activated himself by the way? What do you do with this kind of person? Well, you look the other way at their seeming 'stupidity' and offer the help you can in your nicest voice. Tough,huh? Not really, can sometimes be fun

Customer 2: Network is refusing to be present in my area
Me: (Can't help being sarcastic)Excuse me, i'd like to confirm if you said network is not present in your area?
Who is taking attendance that network is not you don't have network, tell me there's no network in my area. Some of these guys in a bid to speal big English sound really idiotic

Customer 3 is Mr i'm feeling big who calls to say 'i work in so and so or i run my own business, been using my line for 5 years and i always recharge with huge amounts of money. When i bought this line it, was so many thousands, not now that every one can walk up and pick up a line'. This guy goes on and on about his status and i'm wondering 'oh please, get to the point'
Then he goes i'm finding it difficult to recharge my line (i'm like thank you Jesus, we finally get there) and then he goes on 'so i can't call my business partner'...bla bla and there we go again....Here i am feeling like telling this guy, can we cut out the crap and let's just deal with the issue? But work ethics command i have to find a way to be respectful and helpt his guy get to the point...Arrrrrggghhhhhhhhhh...that can be sometimes frustrating....

Let me spare you guys the rest or you want to hear more? Well, i'll determine if there'll be a part 2 from your

Oh one more: I finish talking to this guy and then he says please may i have your name again, i tell him 'writefreak (of course not!), then he goes, from telecoms (mentions the name of my company) abi? Please isn't that dumb? Which number did he dial and what company was he calling?

On the personal end, been busy working on my book, i've missed my deadline of October end again (and my dear hubby is really upset with me, i wonder how he would be as a publisher. I so appreciate the push though, or else i would have packed up th book since, he's been a great encouragement) but good news i'm working on the final three chapters now, wish it could just end there. Nah, have to edit from the beginning, then start the publishing runs...i'll get there...

Ok peeps...later, i'm out, work calls!


Olamild said...

ahwww haha
some people like to rub stuffs in people's face.
Hang in there. it'll be okay

Andy said...

Funny! You sef, you just dey grade everybody....
Howz your book coming on? Let's have a copy when its ready.


A phone with fertility problems!!!! Priceless. I just had a hearty laugh! Keep up the hard work with the book. It will pay off and I can't wait to read it. Let us know, oh!!!!

Bon chance!

aloted said...

hehehe, pele o.
I wonder how I would have responded to these people if I was the one.

Good to hear ur book is moving forward..

Afrobabe said... I know where u work so watch out for worked in a call centre in a telecoms firm in nigeria as well...almost got fired cos my tongue was sharper than my brain....I used to respond before I tot...
Client:I can't make a call,
Me: what error message do you get?
Client: no message ma.
me:what does it tell you.
Client: oh,ee say no network.
me:what part of no network did you not understand?
Client: Aunty pls this is business centre oh..booster card (did i just give myself away?)will finish..

anonymous gal said...

ha haha.Gosh u are patient i would have ben fired coz i wld drop the phone on alot of weirdos.
@afrobabe u are crazy o.

Aijay said...

LOL!! Fertility problem?? This is serious. You should have told him to go to a fertility clinic. Lol.
People ought to stop using big grammar in a bid to sound intelligent. Easy does it anyday anytime.
Meanwhile, I'm waiting for more stories so I can LMAO.

Comrade said...

Call centre work can be quite stressful. Technology is hard to predict.It works the way it feels like working. So Machines do the acting up while humans are the ones that are left to do the explaining. It's really hard to explain to people that you really can't solve their problems. Maybe Telecom operators should start passing the customer care calls to the Engineers. Then the Engineers would explain to the customer that the reason you can't make a call is because the VLR in the MSC closest to you is not updating the HLR to which you are assigned. How about that?

Nyemoni said...

Hahahaha! NO BRAINER! You must have heard quite a lot on the job eh? Fertility problem indeed!

lindwee said...

Can i have a copy?

Arewa said...

describing a phone as having fertility problems..dunno abt that..that dude better thabk his stars that he didnt mention that to a lady who was really having fertility problems cus i know she wouldnt have found that funny at all.

ibiluv said...

fertility problems
i feel u
but some call center staff get cranky afer a while unfortunately they then take it out on those of us who are courteous and dont speak too much grammar
was at virgin atlantic on fri to confirm a ticket-said good afternoon to the guy 3ce
he no answer me o
does a ring on his married finger say he shouldnt respond to a greeting
later he say he no hear
na hin sabi
he was too yellow for me
i prefer my men dark skinned*wink*

bimbylads said...

lol.. joker..

last 3 chapter eh? lucky for some.. lol..

Writefreak said...

thanks y'all for stopping by...sorry can't reply personally to each plenty! But afrobabe, you no dey ok sa, aijay you want me to lose my job???!

Have fun everyone!

LurLar said...

Pple just love to ask freaking stupid questions....I pray God keeping giving u d patience,cos mehn...i fit don slam fone ontop person ear,b4 i realize am. Yes we(i) want part 2.

Allied said...

fertility problems? you must be joking? Why are people always trying to pose?

Arewa said...

oh girl i just tagged u on my update!

Aijay said...

Hey dear!!
You’ve been tagged for the 30 days of thankfulness chain.
Please visit my blog for details.

simplynuttie said...

I would have told him to put the phone apart and poured is semen in it....the phone will remain fertile, afterwards.

Thanks for stopping b.

Rayo said...

Gosh I just love customer service jobs, if you look @ my blog I have some interesting stories from my job. At least you're patient and let him finish his story, I would have cut him off and said, "so how exactly can I assist you today?"

The Enigma said...