All Hail Timi as he wins Idols West Africa

I was with my family on Saturday night at M cafe located in the Silverbird Galleria when my phone beeped, it was an SMS from my great friend so i promptly opened it and it said: Guess who won idols- Timi :). I was so excited that i forgot myself and where i was and i let out a scream (meanwhile, i've been told to keep it low for three weeks by my doc cos i have laryngitis from voice overuse, i completely forgot!). So back to i let out a scream and all eyes were on me! I had to defend myself so i told them you guys don't know what happened, if you did, you'd understand. Immediately i got a chorus of "whats", i replied them, "Timi just won West African Idols".

Everyone started talking at the same time. "Who told you?" "How did you know?", "Were you there?" Then i said guys come on, "i wasn't there, we've been here together but people went". They were still in doubt so i though to myself you doubting thomases, wait till Sunday night though my husband believed me and said that's great.

Somehow i had known Timi was going to win after Jodie left. Although i initially lost faith in the competition, i decided to renew my trust and help make the person that deserves it the winner. I convinced as many people as i could to vote for Timi and voted a number of times myself. I can justify wanting him to win, out of all the last two contestants, he's been the one with the most consistent performance in the competition (let's overlook the fact that he forgot his lines some day and chose a Yoruba song - Sunny Nneji's "Oruka" that he did not really know).

By the time i was watching the show on Sunday, i could relax and watch with my critical eye, i already knew the winner (although i fault the presenters for this, the final show should have been live, for some people, it took out the fun). It kicked off with 5 out of the top 10 singing a song that i think didn't really go well. Then Mike Magic in his usual dry state took the stage (please someone should tell the guy to find another career, he's not cut out for this) and introduced Timi, taking us back to his first audition, the guy just got better as the show progressed. Then he sang the song the judges considered one of his best. He did well.

We were also taken back to Omawumi's first audition and she looked so innocent there (i wonder what happened). She sang "Survival' and she put up a good performance. Next they both sang songs they considered their best on the show.

The performance that blew my mind was Jodie and Uche's duet (which Mike kept calling "duwet"(someone please teach him pronounciation o) , it was a really nice performance. I kind of expected it since Jodie had said at her last stage performance that she would like to sing a duet with him when Mike questioned her. They had a chemistry on stage and delivered the song well. It worked (wek d) for us (let me borrow Nana's diction).

The highlight of the night was when the two top contestants sang a song each that we had never heard before. Their own singles! Timi dazzled the audience with his song. The only line i remember is "I love you, i love you..". It was a really nice song. Then came Omawumi. I was disappointed when i saw her dress. Who says you have to be nude to be a "diva". Forgive me, i think i'm from the old school but that dress was quite indecent. We're Africans, we don't go nude, we can be sexy without looking outrageous...well, i'll save that. Her song too was good but it sounded like something i had heard before.

Then came the moment we had all been waiting for, "...and the winner of the first West African Idols is...", there was a long pause, a really long one. Timi looked like he was breathing through his mouth, Omawumi also looked very scared. And Mike Magic finally announced "... is Timi". The guy couldn't contain it, he was weeping profusely, knelt down on the stage and once he got up, he broke into this song that would soon be his single which Dan is looking forward to jamming very soon on Cool FM.

Meanwhile why is Dede going all tribalistic on us? WAI is not a Niger Delta show, it's nice to be patriotic but i think he went too far with it. Afterall, the show is not even a Nigerian thing, it's a West Africa thing. I guess he's just being a typical Nigeria. Everyone from our tribe is our brother or sister.

So that's how Timi became the first Idol in West Africa. I hope he realises his dreams and achieves his full potential and like Dede advised him, "he should not forget where he came from".

I will now rest from blogging about this show. Which one concern me sef? They wan share me anything? Guys, i'm out!

Recipe for Love

I was inspired yesterday by a friend to write down these things when i asked if he had a girlfriend and he said yes. I asked him the question because he was making me laugh a lot, very funny guy (if you're reading this, i hope you don't mind), anyway i told him i'm sure his girlfriend has a great time with him because he'll be making her laugh a lot. And then he said it is possible he makes other people laugh and no matter how much clowning he does, if his girlfriend is not happy with him, she is not. Sadly, this is true for a lot of people, they can converse freely with other people, laugh with them but their relationships with their partners are going awry or lacking spice. How many times have relationships ended because of these reasons: "we have fallen out of love", "he does not appreciate me", "she does not respect me" etc. I think i know some ingredients for a loving and lasting relationship. I haven't been at this long enough i know, i only got married 6 months ago but i was in a relationship that lasted 6 years and ended in marriage to my wonderful husband. There are principles which do not change over time and i'd like to share them.

Here are some tips i think are important for a wonderful and loving relationship:

* Laugh together - Laugh at yourselves, there are things that happen everyday that we can choose to laugh about. Joke about your mistakes, don't be touchy...Just look enough you will see reasons to laugh.

* Avoid criticism- You really don't have to mention everything that goes wrong, criticism kills a relationship. Find loving ways to communicate correction (note i said correction not criticism). Human beings generally do not like being corrected, the only way it's palatable is when we're sure the other person is looking out for our interest and is not proving superior.

*Pray together- An old saying goes "a family that prays together stays together", i guess that says it all.

*Give gifts- "You can give without loving, you cannot love without giving". Your gifts don't need to be expensive, the thought does it for most people especially if you're like me.

*Spice it up- Don't be dry, find interesting things to do with each other and share some interests. Your own interest might be watching movies together, do it as often as you can, it might be swimming, just think of anything you can do together for fun.

*Respect- Respect, i beg to differ is not domination!! Respect according to the dictionary in simple terms is the condition of being esteemed or honored. The other person wants to feel like you value them. Show some respect. If you're married, don't invite guests over without notifying your spouse, it shows a sign of disrespect. The first time some people hear of something going on with their partner is when their friends say it to their hearing. Show some respect for each other! Always ask yourself before doing something, will it honour or show esteem for my partner? And women, massage the guy's ego. Every man likes to feel he's in charge, i know it's hard in these days of "girl power" but hey, what's most important to you: emancipation or a loving lasting relationship?

*Be open- Don't keep secrets. Try to be each other's best friends. It might be hard initially but it will get easier as you practise this and go a long way in making a wonderful relationship.

*Be committed- Falling in love is a wonderful feeling, a euphoric feeling which you want to have forever. You catch the guy's eyes on the other side of the room and current passes all over your body...girl believe me, this only lasts so much time! The reason most people claim to have fallen out of love is they they think love is that gooey feeling. I'm not saying the feeling will not be there but sometimes you won't have it...Love is most importantly a commitment!

These are a few tips, i could go on and on but they will all revolve around these few theories i guess. Most importantly, the bible teaches us a lot about love and if you're interested you can model 1Cor 13 :4-7 in your relationship, you will never have to fall out of love if you follow the principles stated there. This portion of scriptures says:
Love is patient, love is kind.It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Just ponder on those verses, do you think that with them you could ever go wrong in love? I sincerely doubt.
Falling in love is a wonderful thing, being in love is great and staying in love is awesome! It's like old wine, it gets better with the years.
I'm grateful i have found love and i thank God for giving me a husband who teaches me to love daily. Thanks baby, you're the best! To those of you who are still looking for love, i pray you find it and if you have found it, i pray for the grace to hold on to it and be able to stay.

Encounters with Naija Police

Recently i was watching NUMBERS; one of the numerous series that film makers are occupying us with and i told God! death and sleep no be the same thing at all...Yoruba people will say "a o le fi iku we orun" (same thing i wrote in English)....Naija police need a lot of help. The way the FBI operates in that series, i know is probably exaggerated but carries an element of truth.

They have access to information; our own police, can some of them even read properly? How many of them can even boot a computer? The police want to nab yahoo guys (fraudsters) who operate mainly on the internet but they cannot use or do not have access to the internet...quite hilarious isn't it? How will they catch a monkey if they cannot even pretend to be one? Just thinking...

Now i think that's even taking it too far. The other day, my husband was on his way to the airport and the police stopped him (as usual, they always stop and search him...only God knows why!). They were asking for his particulars! God in heaven! How can a human being have particulars??? Please help me laugh o! Well, sharp guy, he gave them the right answer. " am not a car! What would you like me to do for you?". They ended up searching through his things, from office documents to personal effects. i wonder what they were looking for? Have you noticed how they stop you when they think you are young and doing well...it's disturbing.

After talking to over a hundred subscriber sometime back, a colleague and i were going home (he was driving) and they stopped us a few metres from the office....
Police: Hey stop!
My Colleague: Ok
Police : Are you coming from (they mentioned my company name)?
Colleague:Yes
Police: Where did you get money to buy this fine car? You these small boys, they will be paying you big money, next thing, you will take one million naira loan then go and buy flashy cars, this world is spoilt..

My colleaugue and i look at each other and share a knowing smile. We were stopped for driving a nice car...hmmmph! Anyway, after waiting a while, they told us we could go after the most confrontational one of them offered "some fatherly advice".

So who do we blame for all these? I could count on and on or write on and on about encounters with the police...who is to blame? The government? The policemen themselves? Anyway, i know the government could do a bit more for our police force, what with being paid stipends and also they could also do better in their services. A lot of them see their guns and sticks more as tools of oppression than protection. A lot could change really. We have seen some change agents among them that will not even accept bribes.

I dream of the Nigeria where the police will in truth be able to say "the police is your friend" as their slogan is!

About West African Idols

Jodie was my West African Idol, she still is, whatever the situation or the amount of people that refused to vote her! The chic was just too good, she could deliver on any type of song and a lot of people share this sentiment with me, i think....So why would i not be surprised to see her leave the show, i just heard on Monday as i was watching :"Jodie, Africa voted and you are not safe", initially i thought it was a joke and she would make it until the presenter saidJodie had the least votes and she was going home.....I was shocked! Just the previous day, the judges were singing her praises. I took it upon myself to sample opinion in my work place and we were all rooting for this lady of wonderful talent. So how could Africa not have voted for the best talent or at least one of the best on the show? What exactly happened? Don't people recognise talent when they see one? Infact, i made a drastic decision, i am no longer watching the show, that was my idol and she is not there anymore. I don't switch loyalty easily...i'm sure you are saying i should chill out! That is my decision anyway

I have been thinking about this and it has sparked a few thoughts which i want to share..

The best man does not always win! It is not by might nor is it by power, sometimes it is not even by talent. It is definitely by favour and God's grace! Look at Jerrilyn, she definitely does not have talent anywhere near Jodie, at least when it comes to singing but she is still on the show. Somehow, some people like her and will not let her get out of the show without a fight! I don't think this is because she is the best singer, i think it is because they favour her.

So i have decided that although it is good to be good, it is best to be favoured! For me and people that are dear to me, i will continue to pray that favour will stand us out and prevail for us. I don't think it will be too much to say we should always pray for God's favour.

Well, i am still not exonerating africans for voting the wrong people and i am still not liking the show anymore but favour makes all the difference. So may we all be favoured!