Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Thankful Wednesday + Comparison Trap

'For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise'.
2 Cor 10: 11-12

Ok so what is Writefreak saying today? God is teaching me some lessons and i'd like to leave a bit of them with you my family on blogville. Comparing yourself with anyone, anyone at all, is a sign of foolishness! Have you ever heard yourself say things like these:

1. Why me?
2. All my mates are getting married, why not me?
3. All my friends have kids but me
4. Why is my life so different?

There are so many ways we compare ourselves with others and instead of focusing on what is important, we're caught in trying to be like Mr A or Mrs B. How dare you? When God has made only one YOU; each of us with unique gifts and abilities, some have disovered theirs, others are working out theirs while some are being too lazy to work it out. Whatever point we are in our lives, the focus should be on what God wants for us per time and not what the other person is about. And if we're being lazy, then we need to step up our game!

It's not easy not to compare because you always have people around you who will help you do it anyway. Even when you don't want to, folks compare you to others and poison your minds.

Real life scenario. A phone call comes in from a friend you haven't heard from in a long time. It goes, how're you doing? It's been a long time, the last time i heard from you was over a year ago at your wedding. You're happy to hear from the long time friend and you tell her, oh yes, it's been way too long! Then she asks you if everything is alright. In your innocence, you go oh sure all is perfect! Then she teasingly asks if you have a baby on the way and you say hmmm,not yet. Then she goes, oh i hope all is friend who got married with you on the same day just had a baby. My response; don't you ever compare me with anyone, God has a plan for each of our lives and whatever His plan is for my life i'm sure is not the same with that of your friend's. So my dear, when are you getting married? You guessed right, the call ended. Even if you don't want to compare, people help you to.

Asking Why me is a major pointer to the fact that you're comparing yourself to others. The experiences we go through in life are meant to shape us into who we eventually become and since you didn't make yourself, you need to let Him work out His will in your life...When gold has been tried, it becomes pure.

I'm learning that no one has it perfect and the person you're comparing yourself to has also got an area where their shoes pinch. You're not wearing their shoes so you don't know where it hurts and a lot of people wear theirs gracefully!

There's a unique YOU that no one else can be like. It's questioning God's word and authority when you ask Him why can't i be like so so person....being in the comparison trap is the worst place one can get stuck in. I'm not exonerating myself cos i've been guilty so many times, asking God questions and mentioning names sometimes. It's ok to ask God questions but don't get stuck there...move on!

What does His word say regarding me? What does His word say regarding any situation i'm in? Focus on that and not what is not working in your life but working in your friend or colleague's life. When you're going through something, it's for something glorious to come in the end...('For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory') " Cor 4:17.

Also you need to block out every factor, including humans that want to make you stay in the dumps and judge the situation of your life by that of others. Stay focused on God and what you know He has in store for you. When you fall into the comparison trap, ask Him to forgive you and help you see the greater good He has for your life. It doesn't seem like it sometimes but trust me, He's got a greater good He's cooking up most times when everything looks turpsy turvy!

On the whole, know that God never wants to punish you, the devil will bring afflictions your way that is certain but God always has a way out, an escape might not see it immediately because God doesn't work like a microwave, it might take time but your beauty will shine forth. Isaac got married to Rebekkah at 40 years, he asked God for children, Esau and Jacob came when he was 60 years. Yeah that seems like a very long time, i must commend his faith cos i think in his shows, i'd be tempted to throw in the towel and sit somewhere moping and asking God WHY ME? It might take time, your life might not look as glamorous as that of folks around you now but with your trust in Him and letting Him work in you daily, you will get there.

Be wise, do not compare yourself to others!

So it's a Wednesday and i'm definitely thankful to God for His numerous blessings. These are some of my own reasons:
1. I am thankful to God for the lessons He continuously teaches me. Right now, i am thankful that my life is not defined by anybody's opinion but by His word
2. I am thankful for the public holiday on Monday, hubby and i got to spend time together at home and it was bliss
3. I am thankful that once again, i am strong and my mind is being renewed, i'm out of the dumps, halleluyah!
4. I am thankful that God gave me the wisdom to download the display driver for my laptop using Mozilla cos IE kept terminating. Now y computer looks good! Yay!
5. I am thankful to God for family and what it means. My parents seem to bug me with their calls all the time and though i lament at how many questions they ask, i am very thankful that they care.
6. I am thankful that God helped me out with the manic cab driver i used yesterday night and He gave me patience to handle the situation. I tell you that wasn't me, typical WF would freak out! (to hear the story, you have to pay me!)
7. I am thankful that i know the one who holds tomorrow so the future is certain.
8. I am once again thankful for provision for Mr and I. We never lack and all our needs are met. Infact i don't think i have real 'needs', just wants..and God still meets them. Halleluyah
9. I am thankful for God's protection over our lives. We go out and come in with no incidents. Praise the Lord!

There must be something you're thankful for, wanna shar e?

Ps: check out the soulsistas blog if you haven't done so.


Dabizniz said...

This is so true I find myself not talking to members of my family as they are always using me are some sort of yardstick and I saw myself doing the same.

Life is all about getting in where you fit in

rayo said...

this hits home! i nid to stop letn ppl's views on what i shld b nd where i shld b get me down

fantasy queen said...

its human nature to ask the questions, to compare.
it takes more than our resolve, but the grace fo God to be able to stay satisfied with what we have and wait upon him patiently.

this something i've been trying to deal with for a while. fortunately i'm begining to deal with it by having ready answers in my head when i try to compare.

Caelestis Angelus! said...

Im thankful for a house to become a home though God is yet to manifest it in the physical.

Im thankful for journey mercies granted my mum and my uncles

Im thankful for the provision of food and clothen

Im thankful for my clients and the raise i got last week

Im thankful for my office best friend whose birthday is today

Im thankful for my soon to be Mr. and the way he fears the lord

Im thankful finally for the blog you put up, i really needed to read it right about now

Believer said...

Father, thank you for this message. Confirmation of a word God spoke to me yesterday. Thank you for sistas that writefreak that tap into the anointing and deliver word laden messages. Remain blessed. Hope you're doing fab!

Uzezi said...

why me leads to lose of self esteem and a whole lot of other things. comparism is just not healthy at all.

God holds our destinies and it is better to understand His purpose for our lives and know just why we ain't the other person.

Thankful for all God has done for you

Olufunke said...

Hmmmmm ( deep sigh)
I also ask questions of why me, I also compare,I am trying to stop it. thanks for this post,

Thankful to God on your 10 thankful things.
We will always have things to be thankful about.

Funms-the rebirth said...

im sometimes guilty of doing this but im learning everyday and this post is helping me. I am thankful cuz God has drawn me closer to him right now. I am thankful for the strength in letting go of my ex.

Sexkitten said...

Well said, Writefreak.

Thanks for the reminder. Too many of us tend to spend our time comparing ourselves to others that we miss what's going on in our own lives...

Zena said...

I won't lie,

I'd have chosen to wallow in self-pity, I don't think I've ever looked at it this way.

Writefreak said...

Dabiniz: true word about getting where you fit in! Not all shoes fit!

rayo: yes dear, let only God and his word define you!

fq: yes my sister, it takes God to trust and not compare!

Caelestis: I'm thankful for all that is happening in your life, for you and your Mr to be and that you read this post!

Believer: yes i am fab thanks, and i'm glad i was a vessel, i'm humbled!

Uzezi: well spoken my sister...God's plan for our lives is what matters most!

Olufunke: may God teach us to appreciate what we have in our lives!

Funms: i'm grateful for your learning experience...and also that you're drawing closer to God, that's a great testimony!

Sexkitten: you can say that what's left if we miss what's happening in our own lives!

Zena: Pls darling step up and don't even bother with self pity!

Unashamed said...

Hmmmm.... really insightful! We would be surprised sometimes when we find out what others are dealing with, even though we compare ourselves with them. Let's just thank God for where we are and where we're going!

I'm thankful for good health and grace to carry my "cross" cos He's taking the journey with me!

I'm also thankful because things are not worse than they are right now!

What happened with the cab driver? I'll pay you 5 bucks to spill it

MilesPerHour said...

I love your gratitude list. Mine is long and I never forget to be grateful, especially in the toughest times.

Enkay said...

Is it truly possible not to compare yourself with others AT ALL?

Like you rightly pointed out, comparison is everywhere! Yet I shouldn't let my life be ruled by it. I do strive to be a better me everyday....(sigh)

Great list! I'm thankful to God for provision. Just when I think I'm running out, he provides!

Writefreak said...

Unashamed: Exactly the point! We never know where the shoes hurt the other person...5 bucks is too small, you can do bera! lol

MPH: Thanks...He's a good God, we can never forget!

Enkay:It's almost impossible not to compare but we shouldn't dwell on it. It's a sin to compare, just take it to God when you feel you're beginning to and let Him deal with you.
I thank God for you my darling Enkay, how're you doing?

Rose said...

Thanks for this,it's nothing short of inspiring.

I'm thankful for life,and for Writefreak's ability to

NoLimit said...

I guess we are all guilty of doing this at some point or the least I am!!!
What is important is not to dwell on it...I move on from that place so is hard to imagine I was ever there in the first place!!!
I am my own person...I am God's master path is ordered by wetin concern me with comparison?...well inline with my day of speaking pidgin english...I've decided to comment in pidgin on all the blogs I read no me o...I just wan try flex my pidgin muscle small.
I dey thank God on your behalf o! I dey patiently await the cab man gist...biko supply sharply!!!

Writefreak said...

No Limit: Yes, we cannot afford to dwell on it o!

You want cab man gist? How much you wan pay miss pidgin English! lol

NoLimit said...

WriteFreak I go pay you any amount o!...seriously...only say I go pay you ...yesterday!!!~wink~wink

Scarlet said...

I'm thankful for so many things, most especially for life. I soemtimes compare myself with others but i try to pick out the good i see in others and try and imporve myself rather than just focousing on what they have that i don't have

Original Mgbeke said...

This message was very good. I will forward to some friends, thanks WriteFreak. Meanwoos as per that real life scenario if someone had the nerve to ask such a foolish question, I would go off on her. Wetin consain am?
And as always, we thank God o! :-)

Good Naija Girl said...

This entry was a sermon on its own, one that is always good to hear so thank you for it! God really is so good, and I will continue to depend on Him to do what He is doing in my life on His own terms at His time, instead of asking why I have to wait longer than "so-and-so". I am definitely guilty of fact I am always comparing!

I'm grateful that my mom is such a positive and strong person: Christ really is her strength and she proclaims this.

Have you any wool said...

I love that bible portion that says '... for our light affliction...'It means that all the problems we think are big enough to kill us, God just sees them as light affliction compared to what he has in store for us. The thought of that makes me stronger

Writefreak said...

No Limit: I'm not a child o, how can you promise to pay me yesterday? Yeye girl, anyway i will mail you!

Scarlet: Way to go girl! I think wanting to emulate the good in others isn't comparison...comparison makes you pity your life!

Mgbeke: Pls feel free to forward it to whoever you want to.
Na real life, it's well over 15 months now and i think my response kept her off my back, haven't heard from her since then and i'm not bothered!

GNG: I'm so thankful for your mum too dear!

Have you any wool: Me too i love it, the affliction just looks big to us, to God it's a small deal!

Kémi Penélopê said...

I needed to read this...It is only when I start comparing myself with others that I become so miserable.

Writefreak said...

Kemi Penelope: I'm glad it spoke to you! Misery is not God's plan for us His children!

Arewa said...

Well said hon!! Be content with what you have count your blessings and be thankful to God in all that you do. Stay blessed hon. x x

Anonymous said...

thanks for this pot..i have heard myself say all 4

Anonymous said...

YES! Lesson noted Writefreak. Lesson noted. I do this so much its awful but slowly but surely I am learning to focus.

Bibi said...

don't dwell on it and just move on. moving on is the key. Good one

Writefreak said...

Arewa: Yes, that's the key!

pink satin: we won't be dwelling on those words again huh?

Temite: Glad you got the lesson darl...

Bibi: Yep! thanks for stoping by Bibi!

simeone said...

writefreak o.. i dey feel you.
i'm thankful for all God has taken me through in the past 20 months..
thank you jesus..

Tigeress said...

We have to be thankful to God at ALL times- even during the bad times. And we have to remember that there others out there who are in a worse situation that we are in and wish to be in our shoes. Those who arent married are wishing to be in the shoes of those who are married and waiting on God for a child. Those who are healthy and single and wanting to marry have those lying in the hospital bed terminally ill wishing they were in their shoes.

Nice blog- i like VERY much.

yankeenaijababe said...

That ur friend is not a friend at all, she ask rude question, glad u asked her back the same question. I hate comparing me to others. Who cares!!! Urs is coming and at the right time. Abeg, no worry sef and just enjoy ur married life. I miss ya. Cheers!!!

Don't we just love thank you post.

ShonaVixen said...

This is so true!!!I'm thankful for you for writing up the post...seriously hon because this is what i needed to read!!

Geebee said...

This is indeed a post for the moment. . . I doubt if it's actually possible not to compare yourself with others sometimes but we shouldn't let our lives be ruined by the thought of wanting to be something we are not. . . Time and chance happeneth to them all. Plus if we look closely, we'll discover there's always something special about every single one of us that someone else longs for.

Anonymous said...

I think it takes discipline not to compare yourself or people with someone. In words, thots or deed, we do that. consciously or unconsciously, we compare people. We compare our parents, our parent compare us to other kids, we compare friends, we compare our country, school, work, children, marriage....thats why most marriages are in bedlam...'cos the Ms. wife is looking at her friend or Mr Husband is comparing his friend's wife with his.
nice post

aloted said...

flesh did not reveal this truth to the spirit....