Friday, February 27, 2009

On Myself and other things- Totally Random!

I've wanted to write a post for a few days, wanted to put pen to paper but the zeal was just not there...or maybe the zeal was there but i didn't have the strength, whatever! I see posts flashing from my favourite blogs and i just ignore them, strange but i just didn't feel like it. Was a bit tired physically and then i was kinda feeling antisocial.

I had a guest (who manages to turn up at my house everyday) and i honestly almost walked her out. I wanted to be alone and i guess she just didn't get the message...hmmph...i had so many reasons to be thankful but i couldn't even bring myself to do my thankful post. I'm not in a bad mood, and i'm not unhappy, i'm just a bit unmotivated! And i keep getting questions from people 'are you alright'?
Yes i'm very very alright, just having one of those moments when you need to recharge and refresh (like the coke promo that was cancelled, the maximum you could win was 50 bucks when you've even bought the cold for 60 bucks, awon ole!*)lol...i'm an eagle, i need time to renew myself, guess that's where i've been the past few days.

What's it with Naija service providers??? They just make me wanna pull out my hair! In the last few days, i've had issues with everything i own that has some form of technology; internet on my computer, my blackberry, even DSTV joined them today. What do the customer service guys in Multichoice do for crying out loud! No offences meant but i was on the phone with them for at least 4 minutes about 5 times today and they couldn't resolve my issue. Crap! They all seemed to be reeling out info from the same textbook...pshew. Bring out your smartcard, switch off your decoder and reinstall dish then insert your smsrt card again, it will work'. Duh, did i not just tell you i've done that like 10 times already?? Arrgghhh...they make me wanna pull out my hair! But i won't o, i'm even braiding it at the moment. Ok lemme spare you the lamentation.

What do you do when someone keeps showing up at your house almost every blessed day unannounced? They make themselves welcome and treat themselves to goodies from the fridge. We're not the best of friends but we're not enemies either. I feel as if i gave this person too much access but i just can't stick it anymore. I'm sure i'm a nice person but i'm starting to feeI 'unnice'. I love my ME time and i honestly don't stay home to play, I WORK FROM HOME!!! I've asked a few friends and their opinion have helped me. I actually gave the security instructions yesterday that i didn't want a guest, i don't know if the person in question showed up or not and i really don't care. Some people don't just get hints. There are some people i like to see everyday but unfortunately this person doesn't fall within that category. How would you handle the situation? I think somewhere in the book of Proverbs, the bible says something like 'withdraw your feet from your neighbour's house lest he hates you'. I'd like to hear your views.

On a good note my brother just got his NYSC posting to Imo state. Did anyone serve there? Any helpful tips you can give me for him? I'd appreciate it.

Will be back soon with a post from memoirs of my childhood! Remember my Iyabo post?

Have a nice weekend all!
*the thieves

45 comments:

Dabizniz said...

In my single days I had people like that who just hung around you due to what thy could get.

My wife and I are not cutting off a lot of friends and family. If the relationship is not value adding then once needs to cut off. If the relationship is not mutually benefiting to both parties then one needs then one also needs to consider.

If you are dropping all these hints and this "friend" does not understand you need to tell them they have to stop coming that often you need you time to sort out other issues going on that they are not a part of

Rita said...

It's not fair...unannounced guest...I have actually sent someone out of my house for this kind of behaviour, but afterwards I felt guilty (maybe it was because of the way I did it, unnicely)

I guess she will read the handwritings on the wall when the security guard tells her you dont want a guest.

I am having trouble making calls with my mtn line oh!

Am doing fine, and I hope you are ok. Pls take it easy dear.

Afrobabe said...

Kpele dear, the feeling will pass then u will be all nice again..

as for ur unwelcome everyday guest i think u did the best u could in that situation by telling the gateman not to let anyone in..next time restrict it to...dont let her in..if she asks u tell her u work at home so dont take guests when u r busy...
u dont owe her any explanations...

Writefreak said...

Dabiniz: hubby and i have actually tried to device a means together. We recently moved and she's one of the few people we first met here, through her boyfriend, we were all in uni together...quite complex situation. If it persists, i sure will tell her, thanks!

Rita: I honestly don't blame you...it can be annoying!
I'm good dear...just trying to rest a bit!

Afro: Trust me, i even described her to the gatemen o! and once i said that my friend wey dey always come, they got it!

Caelestis Angelus! said...

Mehn, i know how you feel o. I love my space alot of the times and though im not oblivious to the fact that a guest might arrive unannounced (this is Naija) everyday is a little too much. Kai, i would get nasty at some point o. Take it easy dear, next time she comes, tell her you were just about leaving the house and dont smile. When you do that atleast 3times, she would grab

Writefreak said...

Caelestis : abi o..me i don't condone rubbish in the name of being naija o...if i won't go to someone's house without prior agreement, i don't want someone doing it to me!

How're you dear?

AlooFar said...

This one shall pass. It will.

darkelcee said...

pele dear. it will definately pass. have a wonderful weekend and kiss hubby for me.

Good Naija Girl said...

Awww, I hope you're feeling 100% soon. I know all about feeling unmotivated!

Have a lovely and lazy weekend ok? Don't do a thing if you don't have to!

Temite said...

Soorry Writefreak. Like everyone said the feeling will pass. Take time to rest and feel ok again. And errr on the neighbour - I dont know what to tell you except just try to be diplomatic about it. Here people have to call before they just show up to your house. Not sure how I would handle that. hmmmmm. Well goodluck dear.

bumight said...

when we were younger, we always wanted to go visit people, untl one day when my dad asked us to bring the Bible. i cant forget the passage he read to us till this day:

Let ur foot be seldom in your neighbour's house lest he grow weary of you and hate you

i cant remember exactly where it was, but i still remember it. we felt he "rigged" it.

naijagirl said...

writefreak....its normal to have yur "moments" as i like to call it. Every woman is entitled to that moment

My cousin had a problem similar to yours where her guest kept showing up every day. She was freaking out and we were getting ready to call the guest and tell her off, that is until my cousin snapped and told the lady off herself

I hope you are able to tell the guest that smetimes you need to be alone and dont want visitors...either jokingly or seriously. If that doesnt work, then telling the security to close the door will work.

Nefertiti said...

Sistah gurl, I was telling u this earlier, but got side-tracked by work. You've taken a good first step. Now don't let your 'niceness' make you push back the boundaries.

Happy Worshipful weekend, darling. I hope you feel better. Congratulations to your brother!

Sexkitten said...

We all have our moments. It's normal.

I would be honest and tell this person not to show up unannounced. To call first. You don't need to explain but if it makes you feel better, explain that these unannounce visits disturbs your work and personal time. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Artsville said...

hey, I hope you feel better now. Unannounced guests can really be annoying particularly when they stay too long. The passge in the Bible I know;is do not visit your neigbour too often less he gets tired of you. It's amazing, all that one finds in the Bible.

Man Cee said...

Look; it's a lonely world, don't bash the chic too much...
Just tell her you work from home or that you won't be around for a few days; you've got a prior engagement- you don't have 2 explain.

Per ur bro-
Hope he meets some pretty eastern chic who'll make him feel at home.
;-)

LG said...

yepaaa!!!!!!! sumbori has hacked into dis blog o,
may d real writefreak PLEASE stand up :)

LG said...

ehen, soooo bcos of one thing do one thing, no thankful wednesday abi na thursday????? no let Baba vex for u o'

cheer up

yankeenaijababe said...

Unwanted Parasite is the Big name for your guest. I can understand how you feel, Naija can truly suck sometimes, you have to find a way to tell this guest of yours, as others said...leave when she's coming or anytime she visits, tell her that you have office work to do. Except her ori o pe, then she should grab the message

Naija customer service, ma je ki worry eh. Just do what you have to do, find new inspirations and life would be better. The fact the internet service failed today doesn't mean it no go work tomorrow. Those are temporary things and never let material stuff get ahead of your positive mood. Apologize to baba God now and do a thank you post. I am sending you a big hug all the way from the states...Cheers!!! Life just got better.

Writefreak said...

Aloofar: thanks bro, i know definitely...

darkelcee: thanks my sister, i don do as you say..lol

GNG: thanks girl. i've had to do a lot today but i'm feeling great, thanks!

Temite: thanks a lot, looks like she has gotten the message, she's actually not a neighbour and lives far away, but works next street to my house

bumight: i suppose that was a great way to learn the lesson, hey? i'd have thought my dad rigged it too if he told me a scripture like that as a kid!

naijagril: thanks a bunch, i think you all make a lot of sense

Nefertiti: was wondering where you went. Worship is going well, hope you're also worshipping?

sexkitten: i guess i really don't owe her an explanation! thanks for stopping by!

Artsville: you can say that again! The bible is a complete book!

ManCee: i know! i really don't like bashing people. I hope i can handle it in a subtle way!
My brother...hmm i don't know bout the eastern chica o!

LG: Mba, na me! seriously i'm here. I just needed to rest but i'm here and no i no go let baba God vex!

YNB: Lol @ your yoruba ...i wasn;t actually unmotivated cos of things around me, those just came at the wrong time, i never let things like that bother me really...i just wasn't willing to blog but expect a thankful post with a bang...!

Isi said...

how have u been freak?

holler!

Tigeress said...

hey! Hope u've resolved all ur tech issues. As for the unwanted guest.....eeemmm......i really dont know how to advice u on that. Is she a good friend? U cld either be blunt (in a nice way-lol) or just lie to her and tell her u're going thru a few things and need some space. Try and find out why she's always at yours.
http://thecounselorandherthots.blogspot.com/

Just...Toluwa said...

unwanted guests..hmmm. i never know what to do with them. They are so annoying. But you dont wanna be rude cos they r ur "friends", if i cold even call them dt. I guess at some point you have to break it to them that you get bored of their faces..lol!

Original Mgbeke said...

I feel you o. Those days when you just need some time off to reflect and recharge...
Hmmm as per unwanted guests, how very annoying. Such a huge pet peeve for me. I'd say keep telling security that you don't want that particular person but the security go tell the person say you no wan see any guests or you no dey house, hopefully he/she will get the message. Some people sef!

Writefreak said...

Isi: Hey, been a minute, i'm good thanks

Tigeress: Yes tech issues resolved but one, thanks a lot! I know why she's always at mine, she got free time which i don't always want to spend with her.

Just..Toluwa: I know what you mean! May God give me the wisdom to handle things

Original Mgbeke: Glad you get it! i will be taking your advice, thanks..how're you doing?

africanweight loss diva said...

I am a private person so i really get upset with those who come unannounced, and take things out of your fridge etc. for me, it gets to a point when i cant take it anymore, and i simply tell them!

Arewa said...

i dont know why people feel the need to just 'show' at people's houses without an invitation or at least calling to confirm what the person's day is like... let ur security handle the business

anyways, i am currently serving in lagos and i heard that people that go out of lagos actually have more fun (free food, better jobs, etc)

for camp, he will need

mosquito net and repellant
malaria medicine
crackers or biscuit
a small carton of bottled water
bedsheets
3 buckets
soap, toothpaste, etc
mobile phone
some money - things are relatively cheap in mammy market
white shorts and tee shirts
extra socks

if i remember anything i'll let u know!

tobenna said...

Tell the lovely unwanted guest to excuse you.
You need some privacy to do some things on your own.
Period

DiaStar said...

sometimes, your feeling blue is an indication of something deep down not yet dealt with or a side effect of a medication. If the former, you might want to take a break from your routine. have fun. If its a side effect, pls see your doc. enjoy your day

DiaStar said...

sometimes, your feeling blue is an indication of something deep down not yet dealt with or a side effect of a medication. If the former, you might want to take a break from your routine. have fun. If its a side effect, pls see your doc. enjoy your day

simeone said...

..o.k..hapi u are fyn...instruction to security is a nice one, for someone that has refused to take the hints..thats a good one..i think u sld just stick with the instruction to security..
wish you all the best as you renew..peace..

Olufunke said...

It might be difficult to tell people (esp someone you are not the nest of friends with) to leave your house if you are not the confrontational type of person.
I guess you might have to start some strange things like ignoring the person and the person might get the message....and just leave.

me, I have no comment on technology issues in Nigeria....except make I tell you sorry.
cheers

Caelestis Angelus! said...

Hi dear im doing aight, thanks for checking. Please add this to your blog list

http://yourweeklydevotional.blogspot.com/

Thank you

Temite said...

Writefreak
BTW - should I call u aunty?
Let us see, I agree with what you wrote. I think the problem I have is the submission part. That word gives me high blood pressure. I think I like respect better. I dont know. and the part where he is not required to ask me before he does whatever he wants to do, that makes me uncomfortable. I feel like he gets to pursue his dreams while I cant. I just help him meet his goals. What about my personal satisfaction? What about my development as a human being?

Writefreak said...

Temite, lol...aunty ke? Pls call me whatever makes you comfy jare! lol

Ok respect and submission, they go hand in hand! No o, who said he is not required to ask you before he does something! My husband has never taken a decision without asking what i thought! He was going to change jobs and he didn't make a decision until he was sure what i thought about it! Both parties should respect each other. It's just that in the order of things (and in God's order), man is the head, no two ogas can be in the same boat!
My husband helps me to achieve my best and i can say he is my greatest cheerleader, he pushed me till i wrote my first book! What am i saying? The right man will not take you for granted, he will not go out and make his own decisions because he doesn't have an ego problem and doesn't want to prove to you that he's the boss!
He definitely has to consider whatever i have to say in all matters concerning us and even him!
Does that help? If you wanna email me, it's writefreak@gmail.com!


Sorry everyone i stopped responding, i appreciate all your responses and i will try to do a one on one for the remaining people...

Buttercup said...

awww writefreak, i've never seen, or rather, read u like this ever! i really do hope u r ok like u say u r..

there'll always be people like that..letting ur guard prevent anyone from entering seems like the right thing to do..that way, u dont seem rude..

i've not served yet, dunno anyone who has served in imo..sowee i cant help!

looking forward to ur childhood post!

be strong, ok?

Parakeet said...

I so feel you on this one o. Some people are just leeches and na dem plenty pass out there. Pls cut out anyone who isn't adding value to ur life.

Man Cee said...

@Temite,
Madam you NEED to look up the phrase "Help Meet".
The marriage thingy is about role play. Ironically, part of ur role (I take it you are female) is the above 'mystical' phrase.
Seriously, if you are one of those ppl who don't understand (yet?) the concept of 'US' as opposed to 'I', 'Him', ''her' etc then please don't bother getting married- you'll only make everyone even you unhappy. Believe me- if U cNt play the role don't spoil the role.
AND if you r already married. :-(. Run away and let the guy find someone else who is ready to be His 'Help meet' without dragging trousers with him.
Realizing this, that's why folks like me stay single. I know I can't tolerate any whiny 'Mills & Boon' deluded female. I can't play that role- so I don't give marriage a bad name so I stay away. Simple.
If you love him enof to stay.. Start thinking 'Us', else do the needful...

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

you just have to let that person know, as best you can, that showing up unannounced is not cool. Or just don't respond when he/she knocks.

Sorry, don't know anyone that serve din Imo State.

Enkay said...

I'm trusting you are getting your motivation back little by little?

As for the unwanted guest. I think the gate man should keep that order as a standing one - as in, for day when u'd rather not see her, once the lady shows up, he should promptly say ain't seeing no one.

It might hurt her but she'll get the message.

Severus Snape said...

I do the same most of the time: keep away unwanted guests by asking the security guys to keep them out.
As-a-matter-of-factly, I from time to time do a no-visits, no-calls period which could be as long as two weeks to regain my mood. Then, all guests become 'unwanted'. We all have the times when we feel like having a 'precious quiet' time with ourselves.

Jaycee said...

An unwanted everyday guest? Boy oh boy...that's a hard one. I guess that you shd tell her straight up that you work from home and can't receive any visitors during that time because it is a time-waster.

Errrrm...does she have a job? I like some ME time too...it gives me a breath of fresh air, time to recuperate, and time to exhale. It's very important...really really important.

Another thing you could do is to find a get-away spot, as opposed to working from home all the time...:)

Arewa said...

Hey sweetie....I have missed you so much. Got all your messages. Good to know that you are doing ok.

As par the unwelcome visitor.. i guess tell your security guy is the best move. Some people just dont know when they are overstepping thier mark!!! Just dont make yourself look available....try and make her undersatnd that you work from home and jhave a lot more things to do now (which we all know is a lie) ...Tell her you are expecting a business/work call in a few mins and need to be excused cus it wil take a while or something like that....and if she doesnt get it then i gues you are going to have to spell it out to her....Truth hurts!!

Hope you are taking good care of yourself though. Hows hubby doing?

Arewa said...

Hey sweetie....I have missed you so much. Got all your messages. Good to know that you are doing ok.

As par the unwelcome visitor.. i guess tell your security guy is the best move. Some people just dont know when they are overstepping thier mark!!! Just dont make yourself look available....try and make her undersatnd that you work from home and jhave a lot more things to do now (which we all know is a lie) ...Tell her you are expecting a business/work call in a few mins and need to be excused cus it wil take a while or something like that....and if she doesnt get it then i gues you are going to have to spell it out to her....Truth hurts!!

Hope you are taking good care of yourself though. Hows hubby doing?

Geebee said...

I must have tried a good number of times to drop my comment on this post all through last week. Should have been number 8 or so but here I am being number 40 something. Na oh. Trust you're feeling much better now. Such times sure do pass . . . Your bro will definitely enjoy Imo state. Thank God he wasn't posted to Bauch i or Zamfara. . . another reason to be thankful for. lol