Tripping in Ghana

One week has gone by since i ended my vacation and i've once again settled into the my normal life, it's not so bad afterall...lol. Part of the dividends of too much 'igbadun' (enjoyment) is the 4kg i added which i'm trying my best to lose...exercises and cutting down on night eating, i guess that should work. I don't want to be carrying any excess luggage around

I went to Ghana for a blissful week (i'm sure you guys have been wondering where i went, well, there, it's out). I've always wanted to visit that country btu somehow it never happened till this year, so close to Nigeria, yet so far...It's just about 45 minutes by air!

Well so hubby and i got to do this together. Yay! I didn't want to travel anywhere alone so i was really glad.Our flight was delayed for over an hour, although we had thought we were late. Very short flight, before i knew it, we were touching down in Accra. My lovely friend (aloted's) friend, Belinda (who is now my friend by the way) was waiting for us at the airport and she took us to the hotel she had booked for us...we were in transit, our main destination was a beach resort somewhere about 3 hours outside Accra.

Accra is a nice city but definitely less of the Lagos hustle and bustle, anyway, how many people live there?Twas a nice night, hubby had a swim, i couldn't i was too tired. We went to the Oxford Street and men, was night life thriving! This was a Tuesday evening and so many young people were out, i was like shocked! Or maybe it's because i don't really do night crawling in Lagos, we walked part of the street length listening to Naija music blaring on the sound systems, PSquared to be precise...I was really feeling it!

We arrived at the beach resort in the afternoon of the following day, this was definitely a very quiet area, well we wanted peace and somewhere out of the hustle and bustle and we got it! From our room, we could hear the ocean rumbling and hitting against the rocks, it was a wonderful sound.I can never tire of watching the ocean, it just gives me this sense of peace and assurance of God's promises. They're never ending like the water!

We visited the Slave castle on Thursday morning, we had a lot of company, a group of white guys were also visiting. The tour guide did a wonderful job, taking us through the different history of the castle and how the slave trade began. If not for God, i was starting to develop a hatred for whites. Ha! that was a real injustice, the dungeons were like hell holes, very tiny rooms where they would accommodate over 150 people with no ventilation, those people were wicked sa! The door of no return where the slaves were gone forever to the new world was so tiny and to imagine they were tied in chains! I'm so glad the slave trade was abolished long long before i was born...aren't you?

To more pleasant gist, we went to the Kankum National Park where we went on the trail above the canopy, it was like 280 feet above sea level or more...it was the most adventurous thing i've ever done in my life! On that canopy, i experienced several emotions, fear, joy, anxiety etc...you can't fall but the walkway is so narrow and one continues to sway..twas so much fun and then it rained while we were on the walkway and it was like God was giving us showers of blessing...
i took some pictures to congratulate myself on completing the walk on the trail.

The white guys wanted to see the crocodile fan, that held no fascination for me,i', an African, i don't need to be looking at crocodiles..we left them at the dam and we went back to our hotel...i was like so tired that evening...i had done enough for a day, the rest of the day was spent in bed:-)..did i hear some questions? Sure didn't

Following day, we went to buy our tickets to travel back to Accra, then we went to the University which reminded us pretty much of our own Uni. Then, we went to see the Cape Coast Slave castle, pretty much the same story as the first slave castle we saw. I fell in love with a ghanaian sauce called Shitor and i jep eating it with everything i could think of..Addiction! It was late, we went back to our hotel room...we wanted to swim but me, i was too tired!

Saturday, we left for Accra and went back to the hotel we stayed before...we spent some time cruising round the city in a friend's car and then bought quite an amount of wooden materials for ourselves and family...

Sunday come too soon, it was the day to leave. I woke up to a disappointment (don't wanna go into details) but hubby and i were determined not to have the day end like that. So what if i was hoping for something? More opportunities are ahead. We went to the beach and walked the length with our friend...then we went to one of the beach hotels, had a few drinks and spent some time talking and laughing...My friend introduced me to a Ghanaian guy who grew up in Naija and we spoke plenty Yoruba to each other, i'm sure she thought we were speaking in tongues.

Time to go, it was really had to say goodbye not only because i would miss my friends but because it was the end of the vacation. It was so much fun while it lasted and here i am adjusted to normal life again looking forward to my next vacation!

MIA

Did anyone knock on my door when i was away? Or did i hear someone say i missed you? For those that stopped by when i was away, thanks so much, i was on some remote island fulfilling a mission...lol

So i'm back and real life starts today, i wish i didn't really have to go back to work, i have so enjoyed my "faffing" life that i wish the end would not come. Every good book has an end i guess so i'm singing 'back to life, back to reality!' I had fun, lots of it, i really enjoyed myself and i have the excess 4kg that i added which i have to lose by all means in the next few weeks (since some of my clothes seem to be feeling tight now). I refuse to believe they're tight! Lol

I haven't written in a week, i continue today and hope to finish real soon, pray for me o! that i will be able to resist every temptation of chatting and reading blogs when i should be working.

Anyway, work starts today, need to prapare, will try and put up a post on my trip soon when i can get myself to sit down and do it,

Till then, enjoy y'all!

Life is beautiful

This post is actually for today the 17th but is reading 11th because i started it last week...lazy me!

I've been so absent from blogging! There would have been a reasonable explanation if i've been so busy at work or i've had so much to do at home and didn't remember to blog but none of this is the answer. I think it's been laziness, another part is fighting the blogging addiction and trying to do productive things. So i've been absent lately and will fill y'all in on what i've been up to.

I started my over 3 weeks vacation last week and i can't believe it's a week already, i wish i could get paid for being on vacation all year long, my time is mine and i can do as i wish with it, including staying up late at the night doing all sorts, gatecrashing blogs, browsing literary sites, reading book reviews online, chatting with friends who burn the midnight oil like me(hubby has been nagging me over chatting too much, i think he's jealous:-)),just fooling around on the internet and reading anything that catches my fancy. Can you see i have been so busy?

My vacation has been fun up till date though i didn't travel to the destination i thought i would. What is vacation all about? Is it about travelling to some fancy place so i can tell my friends i saw this place and that place? Infact, i'm trying to define vacation to myself. Yeah, it's good to travel and all that, i still plan to spend at least a week outside the country but i think the most important thing when one is on vacation is spending time with family,resting and rejuvenating onself, it's a time to also assess one's life goals and see if you're on the right path (yeah i have a reflecting side). So long as those things are done, i've had a good vacation.

Monday was the first day of my vacation, i spent it indoors just lounging and working on my book...didn't do much really.

Tuesday; hubby had to go to abuja for work so we got on the plane together. Yes thank you, i like being his handbag, i spent the rest of the day working on my book, watching some TV and did some lounging in the evening, yeah and i stayed up late chatting

Wednesday; I finished Kaine Agary's Yellow-Yellow that i started reading on Monday; it's a nice book written in simple language and gives one an insight into things happening in the Delta. Got through with chapter 9 of my book, yay! I guess slow and steady wins the race, i'm moving along and will definitely get there, i'm over halfway now.

Thursday: really prayed today (not like i don't pray everyday but this was different) I started on chapter 10 and got stuck, maybe i ex[erienced what people call writers' block so i watched some TV. I hate the Big Brother Africa show, i think it's a waste of time for adults to stay cooped up in a house for three months doing nothing productive with their lives but i found myself watching and even predicting who would go out next. I even formed favourites...hmm...see what this vacation is doing to me o

Friday: I did a little writing, inspiration came yesterday night before i went to bed but somehow i didn't spend so much time writing during the day. I spent the evening going out and having some fun; checking out books etc.

Saturday: This was real faffing day! I did nothing but lounge with all day, watching TV, gisting etc. Eventually i stayed up late to continue on chapter 10, went to bed when i couldnt take no more

Sunday: Woke up late...very late! There was no church,spent sometime indoors praying, had breakfast in bed (i'm sure someone is wondering oh this is the life!), then in the evening went swimming. This time was better than the last one i went to the pool. You see i have this thing, i can swim but i sometimes think i'm drowning so i'll just stop in the middle and start asking for help (did i hear a laugh?)...well, i didn't need help this time. Writefreak got her groove on! It was so much fun and relaxing. Oh and yes, the housemate i wanted evicted left the big brother house, it was a good day for me! I also finished chapter 10 of my book, i am now convinced i can write...lol

I haven't been going out much, i sometimes eat breakfast in bed, go to the dining room for lunch and same for dinner...life is good! I'm doing no house chores, i wish this would last forever so i'm going to enjoy it as long as it lasts. Life is beautiful!

Jungle Justice

In recent times, i have noticed an ill being perpetrated in our society which no one seems to be speaking or bothering about. It's a mind bugging issue which the appropriate authorities need to step into.

Several weeks back, around the area where i live in Lagos, i noticed two spots where there appeared to be burnt tires and was wondering why there was a riot. My only memory of tire burning on the road was the Babangida and Abacha days when we had incessant demonstration by different groups.

Well curious me, i asked the driver of the cab i was in why there was a riot. Then he said 'sister, eyan na ni'(those are burnt human beings). Eh! I shouted. He went on to explain they were thieves who had been caught in the act by neighbourhood boys. I wanted to know what they stole and everytime i saw someone who could have some information, i got no answer. Nobody seemed to know. It bothered me that for so many days, the charred remains lay on the road while people drove or walked past just avoiding the spot.

This last Sunday, hubby and i drove past an area close home again and saw the same gory sight, infact, the burners were still in the act, looking for more tires to increase the flames bursting like they were making sacrifice to a blood thirsty god. I was not able to find out anything this time. My guess is i would hear 'they are thieves'.

My question is if it's right to just go on a rampage and start taking the law into our hands. Definitely, the punishment for stealing in the Federal republic of Nigeria is not lighting a human being who might have the potential to change on fire!

So many people think it is good because it will reduce the number of miscreants but i envisage a situation where innocent people are set ablaze or one where hoodlums decide to just kindle a fire on anyone they have a feud with. All they have to do is shout 'thief, thief' to get support.

Definitely, our security system is porous and needs to be improved but it is no excuse for citizens to take law into their hands.

I recall a few years ago when a boy of about nine years was set on fire close to the national stadium because people said he stole. I wonder what this boy must have stolen.

These jungle justice masters need to be curbed i believe. I can only say what i have seen in my area. How can we tell how many people are being burnt daily all over Lagos? If these people feel so passionately about crime, why not join any of the law enforcement agencies and help wake them up? It is sad that the law is being taken into the citizens' hands and no one seems to be raising an eyelid.

There is probably be a law binding people from doing these kind of things. We need a system where crime is dealt with properly. I believe also that if the people have faith in the law, they might seek it as an alternative to taking it into their hands.

7 Blissful years!

There's this guy i know so well, he had a friend for about a year, he thought they were getting too close, people were talking about their relationship, he was not ready for a boy-girl relationship, he had a frist class to make and his studies to face! So he told the girl, please let's give each other some space, i like you but i'm not ready for a relationship and i really don't see a wedding dress!

The girl agreed and gave him space..a lot! She liked him but she's got her pride..thankfully school went on break...time to heal! She heaved a sigh of relief!

School resumed and one night, the young man is back in her life..telling her he loves her in a shy manner. A week later, they were officially girlfriend and boyfriend...the relationship was too good to be true. They'd break up so many said..

Well, six and half years after the shy profession and even the 'shyer' acceptance , here was the guy in a lovely suit and the lady in a beautiful wedding dress(he did see the wedding dress afterall) at the altar making vows of forever to each other.

August 14, a very memorable day, would have made their pure relationship 7 good years. Years they both don't regret but thank God even more, they've started another count. A count they believe would be even happier than the other with God's help.

Stop guessing, it's hubby and I and i'm so glad we found each other!

how i love everything about you, everything you are, you'd catch a falling star if i asked you!...you chased me i caught you, so glad we found each other...(words not originally mine)

Lazing Around and Characters

Men i've been so lazy these days, infact the whole of last week i was on a mini vacation and i was just sleeping and sleeping (i thought i had caught a bug..)), hubby asked me to come to abuja for the week, was i glad or what? I was treated to breakfast in bed for the whole week, though my system was messed up and won't take the food..It was still fun, i felt like lazy old Garfield!

I had planned to complete my book then, i actually had a deadline of July 31st but i missed it due to the fatigue i was experiencing, i guess my body needed the rest and demanded it. Now i'm back, i'm back, i'm back!!! Guess you can tell the song i'm singing....

I picked up again and i have set a new deadline which i'm not telling, not that i plan to miss it but i'll keep it to myself. The dilemna i have now is with the character names. I got a suggestion from aloted this afternoon to name the guy Boye, i actually think i like that name, the main character was Tade but i read a book with that name recently so i decided to change it, i think i'll take that suggestion. Vain person, she was saying i'll have to acknowledge her and i'm saying no way! Does she have to ask? Can't she allow me to use my discretion?

I'm trying to decide how my weekend will run since i have the whole of it off, doesn't always happen on my kind of job (the present one)but haven't come up with a plan yet, hoping hubby will come home, will make it more fun yeah? I will definitely be able to go to church this weekend, been quite a while, been attending online for a while...

Ok i'll stop rambling now, work calls....

Oprah- Narrow Minded ?

A friend buzzed me and said "did you hear what Oprah said on her show about Nigerans"?
She actually said America should sever diplomatic relationship with Nigeria because aacording to her "all Nigerians – regardless of their level of education – are corrupt.” There is an article published in the Punch of 26th July on this, please check it out by clicking this link: Punch

How would a respected human being say something like that about a whole people? What sort of general statement is that?

Can i say, "because some teenage americans do drugs, all teenage americans are drug addicts?" I think that would be the words of a mad woman.

How would she because of the evil acts of a minute segment of the Nigerian population which is over 120 million generalise and say we are all bad. That would mean all notable Nigerians who have made differences in their chosen fields of endeavour are corrupt,right? How can?

We have so many people who have made a lot of difference around the world and have distinguished themselves in their chosen fields of endeavour, I'm sure some people come to mind as you read. Would Oprah refuse treatment from a Nigerian doctor if she had an emergency and she was taken to a hospital? I doubt that.

The most painful part for me is that i mentioned it to a colleague and he said "is it not true?" we almost fought, and i made a point to him that i am not correct and i am aware of several other Nigerians who are innocent and hardowking people, maybe he is? . What do we say about our country? Do we have faith in Nigeria?

This is an insult on Nigeria as a country and on honest hard working citizens of our beloved country. We need to rise up as a people and speak against injustice or any ill spoken word to our country.

I admired Oprah but i have lost every iota of respect for her today. I am not watching her show anymore and i am spreading this word to everyone i know. Americans defend their country with everything they have, let's do so for ours.
I rest my case!

Baby steps

It's been a week since the fire incident and i'm thankful i've gotten over it, even in the process of buying a new cooker.

The week since then has been very wonderful. For one hubby suprised me by coming home that day. He just called like some minutes before 8pm to say he'd be switching off his phone for a while, then he'll call me, i was wondering ok? Then it occured to me he might be coming home and i thought, could he? Well, like one and half hours later, he called to ask where i was, i said home, he said come open the door. Boy, was i impressed! Well, i don't need to tell you what happened after.:)

I'm making progress on my book, i've set a target for myself to finish my debut this month end so help me God and so help myself. Hubby has been so supportive, giving me the necessary push when i'm being slack. I'm taking a step at a time and i believe God is ordering the steps. If i've got a gift, then i should maximise it, shouldn't i? Well, i've decided to do just that!

Then, i made contact with some publishers. I want to believe they'll be interested in my work once i finish and then i'll be qualified to say i'm a writer.:-). I got to meet Ebun Olatoye randomly and she's been such a huge help. She answers my questions like she's meant to.

Things are looking up. I'm on the way to where i believe i was meant to be. I just need to keep my focus and stay true to it...cheers.

Fire, fire, fire!! Thank you Lord

I woke up this morning, it was supposed to be a normal day...

Work would start at 8a.m and my ride would leave at 7:15 a.m

My alarm rang, i went to the kitchen and put the kettle on the cooker to boil as PHCN would not give power and i can't use the electric one...

I went to my room to pick what i would wear for the day, then i felt this compulsion to go to the kitchen and take something...

Then what i saw shocked to my my bones, my kitchen was covered in smoke and i managed to go inside...i froze at what i saw!

My cooker was in flames, all over and under it, i have never really seen a fire incident so i was really in pieces. well the proactive side of me took over, i shut down the gas, and was wondering how to put up the flames right in front of me, then common sense told me it was better to have a wet and flooded kitchen than a house on fire, so i started pouring water on the cooker, and finally the fire was out!

And then the shock of what happened finally settled in...i was shalink all over, then i called hubby and woke him up from sleep (he's out of town) and he tried to calm me...he was so sweet on the phone. I didn't even know i was crying till he said..."Ah! you're crying".. then i realised.

He made me seat down for a while, yes over the phone:..) And i was a bit calm. I had my bath and dressed up on auto pilot...i didn'even pay the usual attention to my dressing

The irony is i'm here at work trying to resolve issues and queries while i am in a state of shock myself, i'm just trying to get over it....guess i will by the time the day is over and i am begging that it will be possible and easy for hubby to come home. I am overwhelmed..

Flashback to Sunday, i was in church trying to buy tapes when a thief picked my pocket, my new phone that hubby bought for me was stolen! Chei! I was in love with that phone. My friends and i went for the first service which ended at 9 am but we ended staying for all three services because the person in possesion of the phone who claimed to be a policeman that had retrieved promised to bring it back. well he didn't, guess he changed his mind or finally figured out how to remove the battery since he couldn't switch off since i had a lock code on it.

Another shocking thing that i was just recovering from. I have a new phone and a new sim, and then this?

Well, i guess life's just full of challenges and one has to move over them...

Laters!

Tribute to a friend

Not to Udeme as the guineess advert goes....
To a wonderful friend whom i cherish so much, i know you and you know me, it's between us!
You have been more like a sister to me than a friend
When i think about our meeting, it's really funny, but i think we just had to meet. God had planned it that way.
For several years, i looked for you and one day by divine orchestration, i met you out of the blues...(really?)
We met and that was it!!
Kindred spirits, that's who we are...sometimes we complete each other's statements, we share silly things and we laugh...
You opened up to me, i opened up to you,
We've shared our laughters and our tears
Always there for me even when miles away
You're always so close
When you are away, i miss you so much
But i know you're always there, just a call or e-mail away
You're never too busy for me (i hope you feel the same way.:)
When i think of something or an event occurs, i always think you must hear this..
Just want to say i love being friends with you
You're my best friend always
You'll alway be with me everywhere i go, anywhere you are
Though oceans apart we might be
Dear friend, i carry you in my heart!!!

So long!

It's been a while since i posted anything, just haven't been up to it for some reason or the other, maybe i'll give details in another post.
It just occured to me that the way i've allowed myself not to post anything is the same way we tend to sometimes forget about people we love and care about.
We are so busy attending meetings, making money and doing other important stuff that we unknowingly push people into the background.
It's not like we really intend to forget about them but we're just so busy, our tables are usually too full and we have to clear them.
Yesterday, out of boredom, i watched a home video where the guy was so busy building a business empire and neglecting his wife. Each time she mentioned that she needed his time, he either tried to buy her an expensive gift or told her he was busy trying to make their lives comfortable. Eventually when he travelled for 2 months, his wife fell into the warm embrace of their driver. Don't think i'm excusing adultery, no but hubby was nowhere to be found when his wife needed him.
In this age where it has become extremely important for us to build careers, we need to be extremely careful and check if we are not doing so at the expense of the most important things.
Take a scenario where you've achieved everything you want, you've reached the pinnacle of your career, won several awards but have no one to share it all with. I tell it will be very boring and miserable.
We need people along the way, not as tag alongs but as people we love and share genuinely with.
Today, try to make that phone call you've delayed for so long, send that e mail to the old friend, make a schedule of how to stay in touch with loved ones especially family. It keeps the journey interesting.
Have a fun weekend!

My Birthday With The White Dress

It was my birthday yesterday, you want to guess how old i turned? Then feel free cos i'm not telling at least not today! I just want to gist about the events leading to it and the one of the day. It's a bit long but pls i hope you'll read to the end

Friday

I got a call from my sister in law saying she had bought me a dress which she would like me to come and try on but i couldn't go because i was at work till 8 p.m so i shifted it till the following day.
That evening, hubby got back home from Abuja and asked what we are doing for my birthday and i said i don't know. I really didn't feel like celebrating. I have been having some dark moods recently (See my previous post). He said it's my first after we got married and he thinks i should try to have fun. I agreed

Saturday

We reached a consensus that we would have an outing with some family members and a few friends at a restaurant. It's afterall my birthday and it happens once in a year. I was getting in the moood, thanks to hubby. We ordered a cake that morning and then headed for my sister-in-law's to try the dress. It was love at first sight between the dress and i. It looked so divine in its white colour with the spaghetti straps. I love the dress so i decided to try it and lo and behold, the zip would not go up past the bust. It has a side zip and a band under the bust, the zip just wouldn't pass that point. I called her help to come do the zip, no luck, hubby tried it, no luck so i decided i would take to her office and have one of the tailors help with the cloth.

The tailor took one look at the dress and said "nothing can be done". How would a love affair i just started with this dress just end like that?? It had to blossom. So we went to look for my sister in law where she was making her hair in the salon, she was like she had an idea, we just had to bring the tailor for her to explain to him.

We had to go get my cake so we went to do that and by the time i got to work, i was five minutes late although we still didn't have it. I couldn't be bothered, it was afterall my birthday and i was even singing to myself "Go Writefreak, it's your birthday, we gonna party like it's your birthday".

Hubby picked me up from work and i saw the dress still in the nylon i left it before going to work. I decided to stay in a state of denial, i didn't want to believe it had not been fixed. My birthday dress!

So we got to his sister's and he advised me to bring out the dress, his oldest sister was around and she would help me into the dress or help the dress into me!!! Ha ha ha! So the battle of the dress started, the zip still would not budge, i tried not breathing, i tried to pull my flesh in so the zip would go up, no way! I'm sure you're wondering, writefreak, na wa for you o, all because of a dress, yes o! It was so funny, we were all rolling on the floor with laughter. It just reminded me of Gabrielle in Desperate Housewives Season 2 when she got pregnant and was trying to fit into a size 0 dress (please for my sake, go watch that episode if you haven't and you'll get a picture of what i am talking about).

I decided to give up when the dress got stuck in my suku and it took divine help for it to come out. In that space of time, it was so bad considering i'm a bit claustrophobic. There went my hope of wearing a new dress, i always wear new things on my birthday; celebration or not!

D day
We went to church and from there we went to look for a phone on the Island; hubby's birthday gift to me. I have this "half of an 1100 Nokia", (i call it half because i have used up its original lifetime) which everyone i know has begged me to change but i have refused because i made a deal with hubby that if i used it till my birthday, he would buy me a new phone. You know how we ladies are, we would still like our husbands to buy us things we can afford. We didn't get so we proceeded to Oceanview to make arrangements for celebration in the evening, we did that although we were told we had to pay N2,500 for cake cutting since we didn't buy from them (i told my husband, rubbish!). We then went for lunch where we talked about things that had been on my mind. I don't want to share the details

I didn't know i would have fun like that. I had so much fun just talking and laughing with friends and family i couldn't have imagined having it any other way. I don't take alcohol, or else i would have said i was tipsy. We all had chapman and some finger foods. It was a lot of laughter, a lot of joy shared and i thought look at me, why am i getting depressed? So many people would be envying me. Here i was having a birthday paid for by huby (God bless his dear soul) with so many people showing me love (i had only told them a few hours earlier and they came). I might want more but i definitely don't have a bad life.

I enjoyed my birthday, my friends in real life and blog world aloted and omoalagbede were there. Thanks so much guys and to everyone that was present. It was a beautiful day which hubby made happen for me. How do I say thank you now? I love the guy so much!!!

Addendum
Thanks aloted- I completely forgot to mention how I finally got into the dress! lol. After lunch on my birthday, i decided to give it one last try. So while hubby was in the bathroom, i locked myself in the room and was praying not to be disappointed. First attempt, the zip refused to move and i got some wisdom, why not turn the zip to the front and try the zip and voila it worked! I screamed and hubby was suprised to see me in it when he got out, so was everyone else who had witnessed the 'dress rehearsal' of the day before. My sister-in-law later told me she had an inkling the zip wasn't so good but she knew i would like it and would find a way to wear it. I didn't disappoint her! My persistence paid off!

The thoughts in my head

I have so many thoughts going on in my head these days that i sometimes feel as if i would explode with them. If my head had a typewriter built in and a printer attached, i think i would have spun thousands of pages in the past few days.

The first set of thoughts is the state if dissatisfaction i am in. I am wanting MORE and my head is always screaming it that i wonder if that's really ok. I'm not unhappy about where i am but i need more.

I think that's the way human beings are designed, we always want to progress and leave where we are.

When i was single and living alone, i wanted to get married and live with my man, then i got married and we started living under the same roof. And then work stepped in and took hubby away. So it happened that we became weekend husband and wife, phone bills increased (thank God for free airtime from my office).Then another desire stepped in, i want hubby back! Or i want to live where he is whichever way that will happen. It has become an all consuming desire, it's in my prayers, in my thoughts and my petitions.

Then, i am starting to want another job badly! I am so tired of this one, sometimes i just feel like sitting at home instead of coming to work but it pays the bills. I want to move from this mountain which i have been on for almost two years...Before now, i was kinda content but now i almost can't wait to get out. Maybe what i actually want is not really another job, maybe i just want a better expression of my talent and gifts, maybe i don't want another 9-5 or a shift job..So many maybes

It's also not helping that i am only six months married and everywhere i turn, there are questions about pregnancy. Can't people just leave other people alone? Will they train the child for us when we bring it into the world? Or will they help carry the pregnancy? Or is marriage just for child bearing? Well, that's a story for another day?

These are things that have me awake late in the night, thoughts that are plaguing and will not leave me alone. The loneliness is not helping, it makes me think more...

There are so many things i want that look very faraway....

Well, that's where i was a few days ago when i typed this, not that things have changed physically but update on my next blog

Half of a Yellow Sun

Chimamanda; an author i admire so much has won the Orange Prize for her book "Half of a Yellow Sun". It is an award well deserved because the book is a great read.

She lit a fire in me when i read the book and i am sure it is the same with a lot of other readers. Hubby bought it for me and i could not put it down til i finished!

If you haven't read it, please do, it gives a good picture of the Biafran war especially to those of use who were not present then....

Congratulations on the award!

My Big Fat Goof

I goofed this last weekend and it cost me a few things including money, thank God it wasn't more than what it was.

Somehow my work schedule was changed last weekend and i didn't have the full information. Normally i would work for six straight days in a shift cycle and then go off for three days. So when i was told that another cycle was starting on saturday after two days off for my office to run a test, i just counted six days and since I was determined i wasn't going to work weekend, i got a replacement to work for me, on Saturday and Sunday (it cost some money.I wanted to spend the weekend with hubby and family. I had no information that my team, would go off on Sunday and then resume for seven days.

I forgot my phone at a friend's saturday/sunday so no one from the office could reach me. I was incommunicado! On Sunday morning, i saw a colleague at church and asked why she didn't go to work then she told me NO WORK!

Alas i had done work that no one sent me and went uappreciated...plus i had to drop a few bucks. Not to forget the fact that my supervisor was upset with me and sent a very strongly worded mail to the team as a result.

I really felt bad about it but i feel better now. Just think writing about it would help and laughing about it like hubby suggested would help and i guess it has.

Updates on other things later

Proliferation of Religious Groups and Activities on Lagos/ Ibadan Expressway; Way Forward?

Going to Ibadan from Lagos has become a harrowing experience for travellers these days, one can never tell how the road will be. It can take up to 7 hoursl; the same length of time one would spend travelling to Abuja by road from Lagos. I for one have been a witness on at least three occasions.

The express has become a haven for many religious bodies and there are of the nuparticular weekends to avoid on the express especially the first and last Saturdays of the month. One merous religious groups will definitely be engaged in their activities on one of these Saturdays. At a few kilometres apart on the express, one sees signboards of different churches especially.

I am not averse to Christianity or worship. Infact i am a professed believer and i love to worship God but i believe that Christians should be socially responsible, maybe even more than people of other faith. Maybe this is why i get angry when i am on the express and i am wasting precious time because my brothers and sisters in Christ have just had a programme and somehow the roads are congested. You even find some of them driving one way!

Some of the bodies have gotten their acts down and cause not so much traffic anymore but the rest have to work at it and save Nigerians the stress we face. I remember a trip last year around the Easter period when a popular church had a programme, i spent 8 hours travelling to Ibadan, it made me almost hate the church, i was disgusted! "Why should i suffer like this because a church is having a programe?" were my thoughts.

One definitely cannot say all the groups should move, (although one wonders if the camp sites HAVE to be around here) but maybe they should find a means of controlling their traffic and people. At least some groups have come up with different parking spaces which has in a way solved the traffic from their end.

The religious groups on the express should rise up and become and become socially responsible and stop causing unnecessary traffic. Time is too precious for that!

All Hail Timi as he wins Idols West Africa

I was with my family on Saturday night at M cafe located in the Silverbird Galleria when my phone beeped, it was an SMS from my great friend so i promptly opened it and it said: Guess who won idols- Timi :). I was so excited that i forgot myself and where i was and i let out a scream (meanwhile, i've been told to keep it low for three weeks by my doc cos i have laryngitis from voice overuse, i completely forgot!). So back to i let out a scream and all eyes were on me! I had to defend myself so i told them you guys don't know what happened, if you did, you'd understand. Immediately i got a chorus of "whats", i replied them, "Timi just won West African Idols".

Everyone started talking at the same time. "Who told you?" "How did you know?", "Were you there?" Then i said guys come on, "i wasn't there, we've been here together but people went". They were still in doubt so i though to myself you doubting thomases, wait till Sunday night though my husband believed me and said that's great.

Somehow i had known Timi was going to win after Jodie left. Although i initially lost faith in the competition, i decided to renew my trust and help make the person that deserves it the winner. I convinced as many people as i could to vote for Timi and voted a number of times myself. I can justify wanting him to win, out of all the last two contestants, he's been the one with the most consistent performance in the competition (let's overlook the fact that he forgot his lines some day and chose a Yoruba song - Sunny Nneji's "Oruka" that he did not really know).

By the time i was watching the show on Sunday, i could relax and watch with my critical eye, i already knew the winner (although i fault the presenters for this, the final show should have been live, for some people, it took out the fun). It kicked off with 5 out of the top 10 singing a song that i think didn't really go well. Then Mike Magic in his usual dry state took the stage (please someone should tell the guy to find another career, he's not cut out for this) and introduced Timi, taking us back to his first audition, the guy just got better as the show progressed. Then he sang the song the judges considered one of his best. He did well.

We were also taken back to Omawumi's first audition and she looked so innocent there (i wonder what happened). She sang "Survival' and she put up a good performance. Next they both sang songs they considered their best on the show.

The performance that blew my mind was Jodie and Uche's duet (which Mike kept calling "duwet"(someone please teach him pronounciation o) , it was a really nice performance. I kind of expected it since Jodie had said at her last stage performance that she would like to sing a duet with him when Mike questioned her. They had a chemistry on stage and delivered the song well. It worked (wek d) for us (let me borrow Nana's diction).

The highlight of the night was when the two top contestants sang a song each that we had never heard before. Their own singles! Timi dazzled the audience with his song. The only line i remember is "I love you, i love you..". It was a really nice song. Then came Omawumi. I was disappointed when i saw her dress. Who says you have to be nude to be a "diva". Forgive me, i think i'm from the old school but that dress was quite indecent. We're Africans, we don't go nude, we can be sexy without looking outrageous...well, i'll save that. Her song too was good but it sounded like something i had heard before.

Then came the moment we had all been waiting for, "...and the winner of the first West African Idols is...", there was a long pause, a really long one. Timi looked like he was breathing through his mouth, Omawumi also looked very scared. And Mike Magic finally announced "... is Timi". The guy couldn't contain it, he was weeping profusely, knelt down on the stage and once he got up, he broke into this song that would soon be his single which Dan is looking forward to jamming very soon on Cool FM.

Meanwhile why is Dede going all tribalistic on us? WAI is not a Niger Delta show, it's nice to be patriotic but i think he went too far with it. Afterall, the show is not even a Nigerian thing, it's a West Africa thing. I guess he's just being a typical Nigeria. Everyone from our tribe is our brother or sister.

So that's how Timi became the first Idol in West Africa. I hope he realises his dreams and achieves his full potential and like Dede advised him, "he should not forget where he came from".

I will now rest from blogging about this show. Which one concern me sef? They wan share me anything? Guys, i'm out!

Recipe for Love

I was inspired yesterday by a friend to write down these things when i asked if he had a girlfriend and he said yes. I asked him the question because he was making me laugh a lot, very funny guy (if you're reading this, i hope you don't mind), anyway i told him i'm sure his girlfriend has a great time with him because he'll be making her laugh a lot. And then he said it is possible he makes other people laugh and no matter how much clowning he does, if his girlfriend is not happy with him, she is not. Sadly, this is true for a lot of people, they can converse freely with other people, laugh with them but their relationships with their partners are going awry or lacking spice. How many times have relationships ended because of these reasons: "we have fallen out of love", "he does not appreciate me", "she does not respect me" etc. I think i know some ingredients for a loving and lasting relationship. I haven't been at this long enough i know, i only got married 6 months ago but i was in a relationship that lasted 6 years and ended in marriage to my wonderful husband. There are principles which do not change over time and i'd like to share them.

Here are some tips i think are important for a wonderful and loving relationship:

* Laugh together - Laugh at yourselves, there are things that happen everyday that we can choose to laugh about. Joke about your mistakes, don't be touchy...Just look enough you will see reasons to laugh.

* Avoid criticism- You really don't have to mention everything that goes wrong, criticism kills a relationship. Find loving ways to communicate correction (note i said correction not criticism). Human beings generally do not like being corrected, the only way it's palatable is when we're sure the other person is looking out for our interest and is not proving superior.

*Pray together- An old saying goes "a family that prays together stays together", i guess that says it all.

*Give gifts- "You can give without loving, you cannot love without giving". Your gifts don't need to be expensive, the thought does it for most people especially if you're like me.

*Spice it up- Don't be dry, find interesting things to do with each other and share some interests. Your own interest might be watching movies together, do it as often as you can, it might be swimming, just think of anything you can do together for fun.

*Respect- Respect, i beg to differ is not domination!! Respect according to the dictionary in simple terms is the condition of being esteemed or honored. The other person wants to feel like you value them. Show some respect. If you're married, don't invite guests over without notifying your spouse, it shows a sign of disrespect. The first time some people hear of something going on with their partner is when their friends say it to their hearing. Show some respect for each other! Always ask yourself before doing something, will it honour or show esteem for my partner? And women, massage the guy's ego. Every man likes to feel he's in charge, i know it's hard in these days of "girl power" but hey, what's most important to you: emancipation or a loving lasting relationship?

*Be open- Don't keep secrets. Try to be each other's best friends. It might be hard initially but it will get easier as you practise this and go a long way in making a wonderful relationship.

*Be committed- Falling in love is a wonderful feeling, a euphoric feeling which you want to have forever. You catch the guy's eyes on the other side of the room and current passes all over your body...girl believe me, this only lasts so much time! The reason most people claim to have fallen out of love is they they think love is that gooey feeling. I'm not saying the feeling will not be there but sometimes you won't have it...Love is most importantly a commitment!

These are a few tips, i could go on and on but they will all revolve around these few theories i guess. Most importantly, the bible teaches us a lot about love and if you're interested you can model 1Cor 13 :4-7 in your relationship, you will never have to fall out of love if you follow the principles stated there. This portion of scriptures says:
Love is patient, love is kind.It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Just ponder on those verses, do you think that with them you could ever go wrong in love? I sincerely doubt.
Falling in love is a wonderful thing, being in love is great and staying in love is awesome! It's like old wine, it gets better with the years.
I'm grateful i have found love and i thank God for giving me a husband who teaches me to love daily. Thanks baby, you're the best! To those of you who are still looking for love, i pray you find it and if you have found it, i pray for the grace to hold on to it and be able to stay.

Encounters with Naija Police

Recently i was watching NUMBERS; one of the numerous series that film makers are occupying us with and i told God! death and sleep no be the same thing at all...Yoruba people will say "a o le fi iku we orun" (same thing i wrote in English)....Naija police need a lot of help. The way the FBI operates in that series, i know is probably exaggerated but carries an element of truth.

They have access to information; our own police, can some of them even read properly? How many of them can even boot a computer? The police want to nab yahoo guys (fraudsters) who operate mainly on the internet but they cannot use or do not have access to the internet...quite hilarious isn't it? How will they catch a monkey if they cannot even pretend to be one? Just thinking...

Now i think that's even taking it too far. The other day, my husband was on his way to the airport and the police stopped him (as usual, they always stop and search him...only God knows why!). They were asking for his particulars! God in heaven! How can a human being have particulars??? Please help me laugh o! Well, sharp guy, he gave them the right answer. " am not a car! What would you like me to do for you?". They ended up searching through his things, from office documents to personal effects. i wonder what they were looking for? Have you noticed how they stop you when they think you are young and doing well...it's disturbing.

After talking to over a hundred subscriber sometime back, a colleague and i were going home (he was driving) and they stopped us a few metres from the office....
Police: Hey stop!
My Colleague: Ok
Police : Are you coming from (they mentioned my company name)?
Colleague:Yes
Police: Where did you get money to buy this fine car? You these small boys, they will be paying you big money, next thing, you will take one million naira loan then go and buy flashy cars, this world is spoilt..

My colleaugue and i look at each other and share a knowing smile. We were stopped for driving a nice car...hmmmph! Anyway, after waiting a while, they told us we could go after the most confrontational one of them offered "some fatherly advice".

So who do we blame for all these? I could count on and on or write on and on about encounters with the police...who is to blame? The government? The policemen themselves? Anyway, i know the government could do a bit more for our police force, what with being paid stipends and also they could also do better in their services. A lot of them see their guns and sticks more as tools of oppression than protection. A lot could change really. We have seen some change agents among them that will not even accept bribes.

I dream of the Nigeria where the police will in truth be able to say "the police is your friend" as their slogan is!

About West African Idols

Jodie was my West African Idol, she still is, whatever the situation or the amount of people that refused to vote her! The chic was just too good, she could deliver on any type of song and a lot of people share this sentiment with me, i think....So why would i not be surprised to see her leave the show, i just heard on Monday as i was watching :"Jodie, Africa voted and you are not safe", initially i thought it was a joke and she would make it until the presenter saidJodie had the least votes and she was going home.....I was shocked! Just the previous day, the judges were singing her praises. I took it upon myself to sample opinion in my work place and we were all rooting for this lady of wonderful talent. So how could Africa not have voted for the best talent or at least one of the best on the show? What exactly happened? Don't people recognise talent when they see one? Infact, i made a drastic decision, i am no longer watching the show, that was my idol and she is not there anymore. I don't switch loyalty easily...i'm sure you are saying i should chill out! That is my decision anyway

I have been thinking about this and it has sparked a few thoughts which i want to share..

The best man does not always win! It is not by might nor is it by power, sometimes it is not even by talent. It is definitely by favour and God's grace! Look at Jerrilyn, she definitely does not have talent anywhere near Jodie, at least when it comes to singing but she is still on the show. Somehow, some people like her and will not let her get out of the show without a fight! I don't think this is because she is the best singer, i think it is because they favour her.

So i have decided that although it is good to be good, it is best to be favoured! For me and people that are dear to me, i will continue to pray that favour will stand us out and prevail for us. I don't think it will be too much to say we should always pray for God's favour.

Well, i am still not exonerating africans for voting the wrong people and i am still not liking the show anymore but favour makes all the difference. So may we all be favoured!