Moving into a new house requires a lot and oh yes one begins to experience a lot of new things. The staff in my house are giving me a source of concern or should i say they're not ceasing to amaze me.
They recently installed prepaid metres for all the flats in my house and i was a bit fascinated by it since i didn't have it in my old house. I discovered how to recharge it first of all my neighbours so i kinda helped everybody out with theirs so i was feeling like a kingpin...
Well like two days after, i had an issue with electricity so i was asking the security for electrician's number when the gardener came up to me looking all decked up and smiling..He bent a bit greeting me and said 'aunty good epening'. I said 'Yahaya good evening, how're you today'?. He said 'aunty pine, fine thank you. he was smiling again'. I thought ok maybe Yahaya has won the jackpot..
Then he said 'aunty you know say this metre e dey run well well. E go good make we work for am'. I didn't get him so i said 'what?'
He said 'my brother e dey po (for) nefa (nepa) and e pit helf you work po am. E go just adjust am small and the money no go run. Na only small money you go gip am'
I got the message, this guy wanted me to defraud PHCN. For what reason? I was a bit taken aback so i just told him ok.
Like a lot of people will say 'my hand fell'. Later i thought of a million and one things i could have said to him but i was just too shocked. I didn't know people did such things with prepaid metres
I would never defraud, it's part of the reason our beloved country is still where it is now. Am i overreacting? Or will you take your gardener's suggestion?
Meanwhile, i thought i had seen the end of it with my security guy's begging...only to be wowed. I kept getting calls from a carpenter i used to do a few things in the house to the point that i felt i was being stalked.
While jogging in the morning sometimes last week, he suddenly appeared out of nowhere when i slowed down and greeted me, i wondered where he came out of. He wanted to know if i knew about the person in my BQ and if they needed a wardrobe as he could construct for them. This was after he has called randomly thrice. I said i'd let him know if i found out, he also wanted to know if i was travelling out of Abuja.
Later in the day, he paid a visit, said his wife wanted to say hello...in my head, i was like what for...then i told them to come in, she said no, they would stay outside but she wanted to see me. Then she started the cock and bull story of how her husband had not been paid by people who owe him, how everyone in their family was sick, the carpenter even wanted me to see his nose since there was a boil in there...how gross...the long and short of the story, aunty please help us.
I was speechless, the stalking made sense...i went inside to talk to my friend that was visiting and he suggested i give them some money so they could go away. I wanted to give them 1k but ended up giving them 2k because he thought 1k was too small (i felt bad i didn't follow my instincts afterwards)...anyway so i gave them 2k and sent them off.
Next i walked to the gate and had a frank talk with one of our security guys, never let anyone in unless you clear with me. See me see peace o!
Christmas was fun, we were in Lagos for a few days and it was a flurry of activities. Hubby got me a nice perfume and i also got a nice swatch wristwatch and a blackberry phone from my friends...Hope you guys had a fun christmas and remember the reason for the season- Christ the saviour!
Cheers y'all
Friday, December 19, 2008
When should i give?
I'm a bit confused as per what circumstances one should give people money. I deliberately don't give beggars money, i don't believe in it cos a lot of them are actually ok and fit enough to work, i'd rather give someone i know who is ready to work and actually struggling to make a living than just open my purse and dash everyone who begs on the street money.
I remember i became tougher on this issue when one Sunday in my church a lady approached me with 2 children in hand and said she needed transport fare to get she and her children home from church. I immediately pitied her and asked where she lived, asked how much would get her there and even added extra. I walked away and came back to meet this woman telling someone else the same story. Apparently this was her source of income, i felt used and since then i would always direct any such people to the welfare department in church. They give stuff after service on sundays. This was about 3 years ago, will it be surprising to say i still saw the same woman a few weeks back, still holding two children and doing the same trade-begging. Why would an able bodied woman use such tactics to extort money from people? It's beyond me.
There's also this guy who has told my hubby this same 'i need transport fare' story in church almost every sunday for over a year. He makes a point of sending him to the welfare department like me. I wonder if the guy doesn't remember his face cos he asks him every Sunday and gets the same response.
So we recently moved into a new place where the security guys and gardener are paid by the tenants. I have given them a tip once in a while when i send them to do stuff and maybe that has made them bold i wonder. A few days ago, the two security guys were both talking about how they were expected to send money to their folks back in the village, even the younger looking of both of them said he was married and had a son, i was like wow. They jokingly said 'aunty make una help us o' and i responded by saying God will help us all.
A few days later, i heard the door bell early in the morning, i was home alone and wasn't expecting anybody only for me to open the door and it was one of the security guys. I asked what he wanted, he said they were suffering and even money to eat was a problem and he wanted to ask me to give them anything i could. I thought that was really bold of him. He complained they were only paid half salary for last month, i just moved into the house this month and i don't know how true this is. He earns 15 grand a month. Unfortunately for him, i had no cash in the house and i told him so. I asked if he wanted food stuff as i could give him that but he said no, he wanted money. E gba mi o (help me)
So i was wondering, is this right? I have given them stuff a few times though i haven't lived in the house too long. I try to extend a geneours hand to people who work around me and i know are in need but is it right for my security guy to knock on my door like that? I just wonder
What he did has really turned me off to be honest and i almost find it difficult to give them anything now, what do you guys think?
I remember i became tougher on this issue when one Sunday in my church a lady approached me with 2 children in hand and said she needed transport fare to get she and her children home from church. I immediately pitied her and asked where she lived, asked how much would get her there and even added extra. I walked away and came back to meet this woman telling someone else the same story. Apparently this was her source of income, i felt used and since then i would always direct any such people to the welfare department in church. They give stuff after service on sundays. This was about 3 years ago, will it be surprising to say i still saw the same woman a few weeks back, still holding two children and doing the same trade-begging. Why would an able bodied woman use such tactics to extort money from people? It's beyond me.
There's also this guy who has told my hubby this same 'i need transport fare' story in church almost every sunday for over a year. He makes a point of sending him to the welfare department like me. I wonder if the guy doesn't remember his face cos he asks him every Sunday and gets the same response.
So we recently moved into a new place where the security guys and gardener are paid by the tenants. I have given them a tip once in a while when i send them to do stuff and maybe that has made them bold i wonder. A few days ago, the two security guys were both talking about how they were expected to send money to their folks back in the village, even the younger looking of both of them said he was married and had a son, i was like wow. They jokingly said 'aunty make una help us o' and i responded by saying God will help us all.
A few days later, i heard the door bell early in the morning, i was home alone and wasn't expecting anybody only for me to open the door and it was one of the security guys. I asked what he wanted, he said they were suffering and even money to eat was a problem and he wanted to ask me to give them anything i could. I thought that was really bold of him. He complained they were only paid half salary for last month, i just moved into the house this month and i don't know how true this is. He earns 15 grand a month. Unfortunately for him, i had no cash in the house and i told him so. I asked if he wanted food stuff as i could give him that but he said no, he wanted money. E gba mi o (help me)
So i was wondering, is this right? I have given them stuff a few times though i haven't lived in the house too long. I try to extend a geneours hand to people who work around me and i know are in need but is it right for my security guy to knock on my door like that? I just wonder
What he did has really turned me off to be honest and i almost find it difficult to give them anything now, what do you guys think?
Monday, December 08, 2008
Two Splendid Years!
This time two years ago, i was rocking to some good naija music in my father's compound with the love of my life...we had just been traditionally married, we were looking forward to the next day and to a wonderful future together.
I'm glad to look back and say the past two years have been the most wonderful i remember, waking up and knowing that i have someone to love and who loves me back just makes my days. We took our vows seriously and with our hearts lifted to God and i'm glad to say we have had no cause to regret.
We've had very very few rough patches, almost can't remember them, we never argue pointlessly, we always resolve our issues amicably and there has never been a fight between us. Infact i can't remember going to bed angry with my husband. How can i be angry with myself? The two are one
I have a wonderful marriage even if i say so myself and so for this i thank the Lord. He is the divine orchestrator who brought us together eight years ago, kept us for six years in His will, helped us to keep the marriage bed undefiled...and now He is working out in us a heaven on earth marriage. I feel blessed, i am humbled that God has chosen to bless my life so much. My marriage will be two years tomorrow and it doesn't even feel like a year yet.
I have a womderful hubby, and i am grateful to God for him. This post is dedicated to the love of my life, the man of my dreams, my best friend and dream partner, the father of my children and my soul mate...blogville please help me stand up and give the Lord and my husband a standing ovation.
It's been two wonderful years and if i were to borrow a song from Styl Plus, i would say:
Two years don waka,
we still dey carry go,
nobody waka
nobody go solo,
baba God e, na our case o,
na your grace o...
A dupe o!
It feels like yesterday...i am grateful!
I'm glad to look back and say the past two years have been the most wonderful i remember, waking up and knowing that i have someone to love and who loves me back just makes my days. We took our vows seriously and with our hearts lifted to God and i'm glad to say we have had no cause to regret.
We've had very very few rough patches, almost can't remember them, we never argue pointlessly, we always resolve our issues amicably and there has never been a fight between us. Infact i can't remember going to bed angry with my husband. How can i be angry with myself? The two are one
I have a wonderful marriage even if i say so myself and so for this i thank the Lord. He is the divine orchestrator who brought us together eight years ago, kept us for six years in His will, helped us to keep the marriage bed undefiled...and now He is working out in us a heaven on earth marriage. I feel blessed, i am humbled that God has chosen to bless my life so much. My marriage will be two years tomorrow and it doesn't even feel like a year yet.
I have a womderful hubby, and i am grateful to God for him. This post is dedicated to the love of my life, the man of my dreams, my best friend and dream partner, the father of my children and my soul mate...blogville please help me stand up and give the Lord and my husband a standing ovation.
It's been two wonderful years and if i were to borrow a song from Styl Plus, i would say:
Two years don waka,
we still dey carry go,
nobody waka
nobody go solo,
baba God e, na our case o,
na your grace o...
A dupe o!
It feels like yesterday...i am grateful!
Monday, December 01, 2008
I Believe in God...
I believe in God...for so many reasons, these are only a few...
The skies- i look at them and can only come to a conclusion that a supreme being is behind it all
There is day and there is night! They just didn't happen, someone created them and it's definitely not someone like me
Oh we also have the moon and the stars, they testify
I see Him working in my life everyday! I sleep and i'm able to wake up whole. There is a God
When i look at the progress of a pregnant woman, from the moment of conception to the point of birth, only an intelligent God can make it so!
The different stages of the development of a child from when he starts suckling to sitting, crawling and taking the first few steps tell me there is a God, that just didn't happen!
The different abilities that humans have and the distinct qualities, only a God with endless resources can give such diversity!
How many two people share the same thumbprint? None! God is the master architect!
Not forgetting, i have personal testimonies of the existence of God, the almighty! There have been so many miracles over the years that i'm sure I BELIEVE IN GOD!
And more importantly, beyond what i can see and feel, my spirit bears witness, i know deep down that there is a God. Don't ask me to prove it, i can't but i know it! Faith is from the inside, not the outside.
Though i can't prove it, there are signs that tell us everyday that there is a God, only a fool (according to the bible which i also believe in) will say there is no God.
This is my creed- I believe in God! He exists in my past, present and future!
I could come up with a million and one reasons why i believe in God, these are only a few.
I believe in God. Do you?
The skies- i look at them and can only come to a conclusion that a supreme being is behind it all
There is day and there is night! They just didn't happen, someone created them and it's definitely not someone like me
Oh we also have the moon and the stars, they testify
I see Him working in my life everyday! I sleep and i'm able to wake up whole. There is a God
When i look at the progress of a pregnant woman, from the moment of conception to the point of birth, only an intelligent God can make it so!
The different stages of the development of a child from when he starts suckling to sitting, crawling and taking the first few steps tell me there is a God, that just didn't happen!
The different abilities that humans have and the distinct qualities, only a God with endless resources can give such diversity!
How many two people share the same thumbprint? None! God is the master architect!
Not forgetting, i have personal testimonies of the existence of God, the almighty! There have been so many miracles over the years that i'm sure I BELIEVE IN GOD!
And more importantly, beyond what i can see and feel, my spirit bears witness, i know deep down that there is a God. Don't ask me to prove it, i can't but i know it! Faith is from the inside, not the outside.
Though i can't prove it, there are signs that tell us everyday that there is a God, only a fool (according to the bible which i also believe in) will say there is no God.
This is my creed- I believe in God! He exists in my past, present and future!
I could come up with a million and one reasons why i believe in God, these are only a few.
I believe in God. Do you?
Friday, November 21, 2008
JJC - Lots of change....
A lot is changing in my life..a lot has changed and a lot more is going to change.
Dear husband got an offer in Abuja, yes the federal capital territory, he wasn't so sure of it initially partly because we'd have to relocate our lives but i encourgaed him because i knew it was a very good move for him, so now he has taken the job and our lives will never remain the same again..
So i am a jjc in a city i have visited a few times before, i used to see it as a vacation spot cos Mr used to be on projects there and i would go and spend some time, living la vida loca, staying in hotels etc...now i see the city differently, trying to picture it as my new home.
I have had almost two weeks there, i love the wide roads, the calm spirit and we have both decided it's a good place to bring up kids. I love the fact that the streets have side walks and that they have street lights though a number of them are no longer working (we miss you El Rufai). I love the fact that cabs are cheap...i love a lot of things in Abuja but i hate the fact that accommodation in the main city (not on the outskirts) is so expensive. We have decided it's no use staying outside the town..i so hate Abuja landlords, but i will soon be one myself by God's grace..
Our first few days, we took a walk and i said wow, i almost have no friends in this city and we agreed in no time, we'd make new ones, then hubby suggested i title my next blog post JJC- friends wanted..lol..
I am back in lagos for a few days and strange i miss Abuja a lot, traffic in Lagos is running me mad, i drove a 5 minute distance for over an hour yesterday. I am hating the traffic so much! I am looking forward to making a new home, although i wish the home was set and all i had to do was move into it. Now i have to set up a new home, great! But for now, i live in two worlds!
I see it as a new season and one that is full of blessings for my husband and i. I am looking forward to settling down in the new city and will hopefully fill you all in on how i get on....maybe a weekly update? Might be awol for a few days again considering i'm up and down but i will always be back, i love blogville too much!
Have a nice weekend people!
Dear husband got an offer in Abuja, yes the federal capital territory, he wasn't so sure of it initially partly because we'd have to relocate our lives but i encourgaed him because i knew it was a very good move for him, so now he has taken the job and our lives will never remain the same again..
So i am a jjc in a city i have visited a few times before, i used to see it as a vacation spot cos Mr used to be on projects there and i would go and spend some time, living la vida loca, staying in hotels etc...now i see the city differently, trying to picture it as my new home.
I have had almost two weeks there, i love the wide roads, the calm spirit and we have both decided it's a good place to bring up kids. I love the fact that the streets have side walks and that they have street lights though a number of them are no longer working (we miss you El Rufai). I love the fact that cabs are cheap...i love a lot of things in Abuja but i hate the fact that accommodation in the main city (not on the outskirts) is so expensive. We have decided it's no use staying outside the town..i so hate Abuja landlords, but i will soon be one myself by God's grace..
Our first few days, we took a walk and i said wow, i almost have no friends in this city and we agreed in no time, we'd make new ones, then hubby suggested i title my next blog post JJC- friends wanted..lol..
I am back in lagos for a few days and strange i miss Abuja a lot, traffic in Lagos is running me mad, i drove a 5 minute distance for over an hour yesterday. I am hating the traffic so much! I am looking forward to making a new home, although i wish the home was set and all i had to do was move into it. Now i have to set up a new home, great! But for now, i live in two worlds!
I see it as a new season and one that is full of blessings for my husband and i. I am looking forward to settling down in the new city and will hopefully fill you all in on how i get on....maybe a weekly update? Might be awol for a few days again considering i'm up and down but i will always be back, i love blogville too much!
Have a nice weekend people!
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Who do i say that i am???
Recently i have been going through some re-assessment and deciding what my next move is, a lot of changes will be happening in my life soon and i wanted to make sure that i'm prepared..will unfold the changes in bits...chief is that we'll be moving to another city..Part of the things i came up with is that i have been so bored and while i am doing business, it doesn't always occupy my time so i thought it might be nice to get a job even if it's part time while i write and run my business (which isn't bringing in so much money yet)...
You know those times we wonder if our lives have had any meaning recently..if we're really doing anything worthwhile and what we can do to change things..that's where i've been. Well in my typical fashion (that is changing now, i have promised myself)..i decided to talk to a friend who was in the process of giving me some business to do about it.. how i have been thinking and how i want to get a job when we move bla bla. You know, i just felt like i could be doing more and that there's more to me than the WF that wakes up now..
So i decided to talk to my friend on IM and the next thing she typed to me was ''you know your problem? you're lazy!'' Wow...where did that come from? All i wanted to say evaporated, this was an assessment of me i'd not heard before..then i turned to my hubby and asked him ''do you think i'm lazy?'..He was like 'no, i don't think so at all', his answer satisfied me but i thought 'ok he's my husband and won't want to hurt me'. So i sent aloted a text 'do you think i'm lazy?'She also didn't think i am. So where is this assessment coming from?
I asked my friend while we were still chatting and she said she'd talk to me about it later, what qualifies me as lazy, i wanted to know. I let her know though that i was not happy with her. Is it the fact that i left my job to see if i could hold my own in this society and make something out of a business, or is it the fact that i graduated with a 2:1? is it the fact that i am a writer who is yet to get published? Is it the fact that i don't have the dream job right now? So many thoughts raced through my head and it was a very demoralising day for me. I told my hubby,if i had the ideal job even if i didn't like it, had an official car and a driver although i didn't do anything all day, would i be termed as lazy?
Her hubby and i talked about it later in the day and guess what, my friend was upset with me for being upset about what she said. She was trying to push me she said as she knows i can be better than this. Did she have the right approach...i doubt it. She threw me into self doubt for a whole day and what was supposed to be a chat between two friends turned into a quarrel that their husbands had to get involved in, we're all family friends.
Well, we sort of resolved the issue but i had to deal with it on my own. This is not about my friend and anything she said to me, this is about me! I am not lazy, that i am sure of and what my friend or anyone says about me does not define who i am. What defines who i am is what God says about me and what i say about myself.
I might nto be at my destination yet, i might have missed it a number or times, i might have made some wrong decisions but i am a work in progress and i will get there, God willing! I am on my way to my destination and i will get there!!!
So how do you define yourself? I for a moment there allowed what a friend said about me to define me. We need to know who we really are, hold on to that and go back to check it when contrary situations come our way
Have a nice weekend everyone!
You know those times we wonder if our lives have had any meaning recently..if we're really doing anything worthwhile and what we can do to change things..that's where i've been. Well in my typical fashion (that is changing now, i have promised myself)..i decided to talk to a friend who was in the process of giving me some business to do about it.. how i have been thinking and how i want to get a job when we move bla bla. You know, i just felt like i could be doing more and that there's more to me than the WF that wakes up now..
So i decided to talk to my friend on IM and the next thing she typed to me was ''you know your problem? you're lazy!'' Wow...where did that come from? All i wanted to say evaporated, this was an assessment of me i'd not heard before..then i turned to my hubby and asked him ''do you think i'm lazy?'..He was like 'no, i don't think so at all', his answer satisfied me but i thought 'ok he's my husband and won't want to hurt me'. So i sent aloted a text 'do you think i'm lazy?'She also didn't think i am. So where is this assessment coming from?
I asked my friend while we were still chatting and she said she'd talk to me about it later, what qualifies me as lazy, i wanted to know. I let her know though that i was not happy with her. Is it the fact that i left my job to see if i could hold my own in this society and make something out of a business, or is it the fact that i graduated with a 2:1? is it the fact that i am a writer who is yet to get published? Is it the fact that i don't have the dream job right now? So many thoughts raced through my head and it was a very demoralising day for me. I told my hubby,if i had the ideal job even if i didn't like it, had an official car and a driver although i didn't do anything all day, would i be termed as lazy?
Her hubby and i talked about it later in the day and guess what, my friend was upset with me for being upset about what she said. She was trying to push me she said as she knows i can be better than this. Did she have the right approach...i doubt it. She threw me into self doubt for a whole day and what was supposed to be a chat between two friends turned into a quarrel that their husbands had to get involved in, we're all family friends.
Well, we sort of resolved the issue but i had to deal with it on my own. This is not about my friend and anything she said to me, this is about me! I am not lazy, that i am sure of and what my friend or anyone says about me does not define who i am. What defines who i am is what God says about me and what i say about myself.
I might nto be at my destination yet, i might have missed it a number or times, i might have made some wrong decisions but i am a work in progress and i will get there, God willing! I am on my way to my destination and i will get there!!!
So how do you define yourself? I for a moment there allowed what a friend said about me to define me. We need to know who we really are, hold on to that and go back to check it when contrary situations come our way
Have a nice weekend everyone!
Friday, October 24, 2008
Whom God has blessed!
Hey my peeps, once again been a while,i tend to run away for a few weeks and then come back. Don't mind me my people, you know there are just times you want to be in seclusion and sort yourself out, i've just had one of those times...And i learnt a bit i want to share with y'all. Meanwhile my dear friend aloted gave me the ''i love your blog award though the reason she loves my blog is still in contention...i'm grateful to her..lol''. I'm supposed to pass on the award to 7 people but i'm going to disobey the rule..to everyone reading this, if i've been on your blog, believe me, i love it! Thanks for being part of this blog family and sharing your life with us...And if i haven't been on your blog before, it doesn't mean i don't love it, trust me, i only need to discover it!
Anyone went to Sunday School here? Remember the story of Balak and Balam? Well i was looking for a particular scripture to encourage me and remind me of how God will always be true to His word so i searched on my phone. God bless the makers of bible software!
Anyway so i put in enchantment into my bible software, i was looking for Numbers 23:23 apparently and when the scripture came up, i decided why not read the whole chapter to get the background story. So Balak had asked Balam to curse the children of Israel and he took him someplace and built 7 altars to the Lord...you can read the whole story..Numbers chapter 23
God refused to curse the Israelites, they're a chosen people, He won't go back on that and instead of Balam cursing them when he came back to Balak, he started heaping blessings on the Israelites. This he repeated about three times and Balak got upset. Balam tells him he cannot curse anyone the Lord has not cursed. God has blessed me, i am His child and no one can curse me, first thing that struck me in that chapter...and i'm like God, thank you i'm invincible...too strong to be defeated..
Verse 19 talks about the infallibility of God's word.''God is not a man that he should lie, neither is he the son of man that he should repent..has he said and he would not do it, has he spoken and He will not bring it to pass..''. What is it that i want? Is it in the word, do i have promises to stand on? Then He will do it! He is not a man to lie..
Verse 23 that i was looking for ...''there is no enchantment against Jacob and no divination against Israel''. In recent times, i've heard some lies and it seemed they were seeping into my heart..you know how Africans tend to think when something is not right, it must be some old woman back in the village. Don't say not me until you're in a particular situation. I always told myself i don't believe that crap but in recent times i've heard it a lot..i was beginning to think what if? God called my attention to His word and i am glad He did...i don't need any more encourgement than what that scripture tells me...no matter what obtains in my environment, i am a blessed child..
God's word never fails, it works so long as we have faith...It's as simple as this..am i a child of God? Yes..Then i am blessed and no one can curse me! I am she whom God has blessed!
So are you...if you have a relationship with Him
God bless y'all!
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Finally, we went to Ilorin!
For the past two years or so, hubby has developed a habit of saying he'll go to Ilorin once he's talking of running away from something or going on a road trip! It became a private joke and i promised him if i wanted to give him a treat i would take him to Ilorin to fulfill his dream..lol..Be careful what you ask for, cos you just might get it!
A very good friend of ours announced he was getting married a couple of months back and guess where the wedding was at..yeah you're right Ilorin. It was not a wedding we were permitted to miss so i told him..''guess what baby, your dreams are about to come true!''
We weren't sure if we would drive or not then our friends; a couple said they were going so we agreed we'd ride together, hubby was saved the hassle of driving. Thank God we didn't, we'd have been so lost! The journey took about 5 hours by road, from Lagos to Ibadan was a smooth ride apart from some traffic on the way, we've all done that before so it wasn't anything new...it was a nice journey, four friends travelling together, we had fun gisting and stepping to each other.
Then we got to the second part of the journey. Our friend who was driving knew a route that would cut out the bad parts of the road and save us some good time, only we saw some indigenes telling us to change our route, we didn't know the reason but saw a few other cars turned back. We were left with the Oyo road...very terrible road i must say! Then i knew why most people don't mention travelling to Ilorin!
There were several trucks travelling on both sides of the road and the road was quite bad, i didn't sleep well the previous night and would have closed my eyes for a nap but the road was pretty bad and we all had ot be alert...i still managed about thirty minutes nap though! lol
We were really late for the wedding! The church service was over so we went for the reception, i'll save the reception gist...so we waited till that was over and went in search of a good hotel to lodge in. We had planned to spend the night in Ilorin since it was such a long trip and it was an opportunity to relax..
Making a hotel decision was easy after checking two places; Kwara Hotels and another one i don't remember the name. Kwara hotels was the winner as it was a big and nice hotel and the prices were unbelievable reasonable! The pool got us tempted! My friend bought herself a swimsuit though she can't swim..lol
I needed to buy some medication so my friend's hubby and i drove to the town, it's quite easy to find almost anywhere in Ilorin as there's one long major road from which you can connect almost anywhere...hubby and my friend had a swim. I really wished i could swim too but the weather had turned cold and i was nursing the start of a flu. We had drinks and some suya and decided to go in search of pounded yam at about 9:00pm after the rain started..crazy!
So we went to the first place we were directed and they didn't have..oh no! We decided to ask them for another place and they described the way to go to Iya Yussuf's canteen. Iya Yussuf's canteen did not disappoint us though we were surprised in a good way! We all ate and had about three pieces of meat each, the food came to less than N900! Can you beat that?
It's such a peaceful city and food is so cheap! We had a buffet breakfast the following morning, the 4 of us and it only cost us 6 grand! Can you imagine? I wished i could import Ilorin to Lagos...it was so much like being on a vacation and it made me realise that there are several places in Nigeria where one can go to relax and have fun.
We came back to Lagos on Sunday, hubby's dream fulfilled and we're still talking about the trip. I won't be making the road trip anytime soon though! Lol
A very good friend of ours announced he was getting married a couple of months back and guess where the wedding was at..yeah you're right Ilorin. It was not a wedding we were permitted to miss so i told him..''guess what baby, your dreams are about to come true!''
We weren't sure if we would drive or not then our friends; a couple said they were going so we agreed we'd ride together, hubby was saved the hassle of driving. Thank God we didn't, we'd have been so lost! The journey took about 5 hours by road, from Lagos to Ibadan was a smooth ride apart from some traffic on the way, we've all done that before so it wasn't anything new...it was a nice journey, four friends travelling together, we had fun gisting and stepping to each other.
Then we got to the second part of the journey. Our friend who was driving knew a route that would cut out the bad parts of the road and save us some good time, only we saw some indigenes telling us to change our route, we didn't know the reason but saw a few other cars turned back. We were left with the Oyo road...very terrible road i must say! Then i knew why most people don't mention travelling to Ilorin!
There were several trucks travelling on both sides of the road and the road was quite bad, i didn't sleep well the previous night and would have closed my eyes for a nap but the road was pretty bad and we all had ot be alert...i still managed about thirty minutes nap though! lol
We were really late for the wedding! The church service was over so we went for the reception, i'll save the reception gist...so we waited till that was over and went in search of a good hotel to lodge in. We had planned to spend the night in Ilorin since it was such a long trip and it was an opportunity to relax..
Making a hotel decision was easy after checking two places; Kwara Hotels and another one i don't remember the name. Kwara hotels was the winner as it was a big and nice hotel and the prices were unbelievable reasonable! The pool got us tempted! My friend bought herself a swimsuit though she can't swim..lol
I needed to buy some medication so my friend's hubby and i drove to the town, it's quite easy to find almost anywhere in Ilorin as there's one long major road from which you can connect almost anywhere...hubby and my friend had a swim. I really wished i could swim too but the weather had turned cold and i was nursing the start of a flu. We had drinks and some suya and decided to go in search of pounded yam at about 9:00pm after the rain started..crazy!
So we went to the first place we were directed and they didn't have..oh no! We decided to ask them for another place and they described the way to go to Iya Yussuf's canteen. Iya Yussuf's canteen did not disappoint us though we were surprised in a good way! We all ate and had about three pieces of meat each, the food came to less than N900! Can you beat that?
It's such a peaceful city and food is so cheap! We had a buffet breakfast the following morning, the 4 of us and it only cost us 6 grand! Can you imagine? I wished i could import Ilorin to Lagos...it was so much like being on a vacation and it made me realise that there are several places in Nigeria where one can go to relax and have fun.
We came back to Lagos on Sunday, hubby's dream fulfilled and we're still talking about the trip. I won't be making the road trip anytime soon though! Lol
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Lifemate or Baby
I had an interesting discussion with a friend a few days back which inspired some thoughts that i'd like to share. We were talking about a couple going through some challenges in their marriage and it sent me down the thought path as usual. Speaking of challenges in marriage, it seems a lot of people are having it really rough and wearing plastic smiles to cover it up. I hear a lot of stories these days and i can't but be thankful for what hubby and i share.
Ok so we were talking about kids and how for some people, that seems to be the only thing keeping their marriage going. All their discussions and time together is spent either taking care of the kids or talking to each other about the kids. It amazes me how a couple who used to be so in love can almost become strangers to each other. What they were quick to overlook before or forgive become an unpardonable sin! What was the attraction then becomes a note of repulsion.
We have a culture that celebrates mediocrity and that does not pay attention to the most important things. A couple who has been married ten years and are obviously in love are a failure because they have no child yet but a school drop out who is a single parent (don't get me wrong, i am not castigating single parents) or a forced second wife is a woman and has more respect because of a child. I feel like swearing...*hiss*. I digress a bit but is this the most important thing?
I have seen how many women have kids and it's as if everything including their husbands just fall into last place. The only thing that matters becomes the kids and this definitely creates a rift between the man and the woman. Some men will complain and if no changes made, eventually seek solace outside the home or some will just bear the pain alone and wonder if it would be selfish to demand attention from their wives considering they have a baby at hand.
I know it can't be easy and i haven't done it before so pardon me if i am not talking from experience but some things just require common sense. It must be a tough call but one that every woman who wants a loving and lasting relationship needs to take. Hubby and i will have enough children, as much as we like but they are secondary to our relationship, not that i don't intend to take care of my kids but not at the detriment of our relationship. Children will leave the nest and then what will be left?
I will always remember how i fell in love, how i was swept off my feet, i will always remember what being naive and being in love is like and i will always remember the times my husband and i have spent together. They are memories to cherish and give me something to look forward to. So is it worth jeopardising this for kids who will eventually have their own lives???
Maybe if a lot of women have at the back of their minds that they are only wards over their children and the kids are not their property, it might bring things in perspective and let us hold on to what is important! I hear a lot about how marriage is not worth it without children and yada yada. I beg to differ, i would rather have a loving marriage with no kids than have a loveless marriage with many children. And thank God i don't even have to choose. I will have both!
So my question is this what would you rather have? Would you rather have a baby or loving relationship? Or to rephrase, which should take priority? A baby or one's partner? Would love to hear your responses!
Monday, September 22, 2008
Blogville Award + Update
Yay!! I received a blogville award from aloted
I'm grateful for the award and feel humbled by it, it makes me happy when all of y'all come up here and say something i wrote blessed you or you enjoyed it!
To everyone who reads my blogs, i say thank you, to all of you who check me up even when i'm missing in action, thank you so much. You all are wonderful and i love being a part of blogville!
Ok Here are the rules to follow:
1. When you receive the prize you must write a post showing it, together with the name of who has given it to you, and link them back
2. Choose a minimum of 7 blogs (or even more) that you find brilliant in their content or design.
3. Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing they were prized with an award
4. Show a picture of those who awarded you and those you give the prize (optional).
5. And then pass it on!
I hereby pass on the award to the following in no particular order:
Aloted
Oluwadee
LG
Allied
Jaycee
Solomonsydelle
Aijay
I love you and your blogs and I think you deserve this award. Take care
So where have i been? I just want to thank God for His mercies and taking care of me when i was down. I was really ill and couldn't even do anything but now i'm back on my feet, thanks to God and my wonderful husband who is always there for me when i need him, i'm almost as good as new and you guys definitely aren't rid of me yet!
Feels good to be back!
I'm grateful for the award and feel humbled by it, it makes me happy when all of y'all come up here and say something i wrote blessed you or you enjoyed it!
To everyone who reads my blogs, i say thank you, to all of you who check me up even when i'm missing in action, thank you so much. You all are wonderful and i love being a part of blogville!
Ok Here are the rules to follow:
1. When you receive the prize you must write a post showing it, together with the name of who has given it to you, and link them back
2. Choose a minimum of 7 blogs (or even more) that you find brilliant in their content or design.
3. Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing they were prized with an award
4. Show a picture of those who awarded you and those you give the prize (optional).
5. And then pass it on!
I hereby pass on the award to the following in no particular order:
Aloted
Oluwadee
LG
Allied
Jaycee
Solomonsydelle
Aijay
I love you and your blogs and I think you deserve this award. Take care
So where have i been? I just want to thank God for His mercies and taking care of me when i was down. I was really ill and couldn't even do anything but now i'm back on my feet, thanks to God and my wonderful husband who is always there for me when i need him, i'm almost as good as new and you guys definitely aren't rid of me yet!
Feels good to be back!
Friday, August 29, 2008
...And the airbags came out!
I've been in two accidents, both time i was driving. The difference is that the first time i was a learner but the second time, i can't really explain what happened.
Saturday night, i drove to my house at night from some far away place like this and although the roads were dark, i didn't have an accident.
Sunday morning, i felt reluctant to go to cchurch, i was tired but i pushed myself and got off the bed. Afterall the children in junior church would be there and i should be a responsible teacher, so i forced myself to get up. No one else in my house wanted to go to church, hubby was tired from his friend's wedding runs and he said he'd meet me in church for the last service.
I drove all the way to church...and passed through several major roads and didn;t have an accident. An evil thought crept in my mind as i was driving of someone dying in an accident and i quickly rejected the thought, covered my family members with the blood of Jesus and quoted scriptures on protection that came to my mind. I continued listening to the praise and worship cd i was playing.
I was almost in church and the traffic light went red, i was next in line and could have run it but i am a responsible citizen clamouring for a new Nigeria, i shouldn't run the light so i waited for the light to go green again and once it did, i moved my car, and the next three minutes, i was in an accident.
A commercial bus was at the bus stop which unfortunately leads to the entrance of the church car park which also is a secondary school and as i took the turn, the bus made to move, i was avoiding being hit from the back and then i saw people in front of me, in a moment of confusion, i swerved too much to the right and next thing i new, i heard a very very loud crash coming from the right side of my car...there was smoke all over the car and the air bags...both of them were out.
When i got out, i was shaking so much from the shock, must have taken me about 10 minutes to regain a bit of composure..for cyring out loud, this was the church entrance, i had driven all the way to have an accident.
I couldn't make sense of it and i asked God if it would have been right for me to stay at home instead of driving to His place of worship. I asked several questions as the whole thing kept replaying in my mind. What could i have done differently?
I placed a call to hubby, my anchor...i smile as i write this..cos he truly is! He asked if I was ok, I said yes, he said go and attend service and I’ll meet you. I was like what! He said what did you go to church for…so I went and attended service as an obedient wife that I was and kept getting stares from different angles, a few bold ones asked why I wasn’t looking my usual self, to those I was interested in telling, I explained what happened and everyone was ooing and ahing…so sorry…like that answers my questions or makes me feel any better. But hey, it’s not my friends’ fault; they’re only trying to help!
Hubby came and accessed the damage and met me wailing in the car…everything was just too much for me at that point, he told me to stop crying…he was trying to deal with the issue.. it was obvious we couldn’t move the car out of the church car park where it was pushed that day, we had to wait till Monday.
Well I cried myself to sleep again that night because I was feeling very guilty, we were planning a vacation and it looked like because of the accident, we might not be able to have one anymore. A friend mentioned that I should be grateful but it didn’t register then. On Monday morning, hubby hugged me and told me not to beat myself up about it, I should take responsibility but shouldn’t sink in guilt and that everything will be fine. I felt much better!
The car is at the mechanic’s getting a face lift and I am grateful to God that I wasn’t hurt, the windscreen got broken and I could have hit my head. I am not blaming God, He never promised a life without challenges and although many are the afflictions of the righteous, the Lord delivers him from them all!
Saturday night, i drove to my house at night from some far away place like this and although the roads were dark, i didn't have an accident.
Sunday morning, i felt reluctant to go to cchurch, i was tired but i pushed myself and got off the bed. Afterall the children in junior church would be there and i should be a responsible teacher, so i forced myself to get up. No one else in my house wanted to go to church, hubby was tired from his friend's wedding runs and he said he'd meet me in church for the last service.
I drove all the way to church...and passed through several major roads and didn;t have an accident. An evil thought crept in my mind as i was driving of someone dying in an accident and i quickly rejected the thought, covered my family members with the blood of Jesus and quoted scriptures on protection that came to my mind. I continued listening to the praise and worship cd i was playing.
I was almost in church and the traffic light went red, i was next in line and could have run it but i am a responsible citizen clamouring for a new Nigeria, i shouldn't run the light so i waited for the light to go green again and once it did, i moved my car, and the next three minutes, i was in an accident.
A commercial bus was at the bus stop which unfortunately leads to the entrance of the church car park which also is a secondary school and as i took the turn, the bus made to move, i was avoiding being hit from the back and then i saw people in front of me, in a moment of confusion, i swerved too much to the right and next thing i new, i heard a very very loud crash coming from the right side of my car...there was smoke all over the car and the air bags...both of them were out.
When i got out, i was shaking so much from the shock, must have taken me about 10 minutes to regain a bit of composure..for cyring out loud, this was the church entrance, i had driven all the way to have an accident.
I couldn't make sense of it and i asked God if it would have been right for me to stay at home instead of driving to His place of worship. I asked several questions as the whole thing kept replaying in my mind. What could i have done differently?
I placed a call to hubby, my anchor...i smile as i write this..cos he truly is! He asked if I was ok, I said yes, he said go and attend service and I’ll meet you. I was like what! He said what did you go to church for…so I went and attended service as an obedient wife that I was and kept getting stares from different angles, a few bold ones asked why I wasn’t looking my usual self, to those I was interested in telling, I explained what happened and everyone was ooing and ahing…so sorry…like that answers my questions or makes me feel any better. But hey, it’s not my friends’ fault; they’re only trying to help!
Hubby came and accessed the damage and met me wailing in the car…everything was just too much for me at that point, he told me to stop crying…he was trying to deal with the issue.. it was obvious we couldn’t move the car out of the church car park where it was pushed that day, we had to wait till Monday.
Well I cried myself to sleep again that night because I was feeling very guilty, we were planning a vacation and it looked like because of the accident, we might not be able to have one anymore. A friend mentioned that I should be grateful but it didn’t register then. On Monday morning, hubby hugged me and told me not to beat myself up about it, I should take responsibility but shouldn’t sink in guilt and that everything will be fine. I felt much better!
The car is at the mechanic’s getting a face lift and I am grateful to God that I wasn’t hurt, the windscreen got broken and I could have hit my head. I am not blaming God, He never promised a life without challenges and although many are the afflictions of the righteous, the Lord delivers him from them all!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
A Masterpiece!
My head is so full right now, so many things i could write about, so many thoughts in my head and i'm wondering which of them i want to share. My life is evolving and i am wondering what the master potter wants to do with it...but i know it's something good, something really beautiful because He makes all things beautiful in His time
March i left my job, it was a crazy move but i knew i had to do it for my sanity and i started learning to walk on water, the first few days were tough, i wasn't certain of anything and then i went for a 3 week leadership course in church, got an interview offer with a talk show and voila i applied, under a week i had the job.
It was a pay cut from my last job but it was a step closer to developing my God given gift and although i had mixed feelings about it, i was enthusiastic after all i had applied for the position of a writer...note the word applied! Then i started the job and my role was not just writer, i was to find guests, interview them and write scripts, i didn't mind but it wasn't what i applied for. It was exciting at the same time, meeting people i didn't dream of meeting..it was exciting, for once i had a job that was 'almost' fun except for my boss'(let's call her A) once in a while rants..which i thought i could deal with, afterall we weren't interfacing with each other much!
It was easy for me to find my guests, i was almost a natural, only had to make a few calls and they were available, writing my scripts wasn't so much of an issue though i kept going to my direct boss(let's call her Z) for help, she liked that...and she always gave me positive comments, i was her best hand of all the new people she hired and stuff like that..
Then we started shooting and i noticed things that made me rethink taking the job. A number of times i wanted to take a walk andgo home, wondering if i left a crappy job to come meet another crap and since i was no longer afraid of leaving a job, looked like it could be the next move. A was temperamental and verbally abuses people, she said things to me i can't recount for no just reason and a lot of people thought it was because she knew i wasn't desperate for the job and also because she knew i had my pride and would not suck up, is that a crime?
Well, i kept telling hubby i might want to leave the job considering the things going on and he kept reminding me of why i took it and that i should think of spending one more season. In a week, i got all my episodes that i worked on scrapped, had to work on new ones afresh and i did a good job of it even if i say so myself...i got some positive comments...
Then we went back to the office and i had this strange feeling that i needed to resign, my heart just wasn't in the job anymore, it wasn't really all i bargained for and not at this age will i receive verbal abuse from anyone..no i wasn't desperate...they were having meetings..and then we all had a meeting and there was much talk about the coming season, then Z singled me out and said she needed to talk to me. I just knew it wasn't good news
So she said i should take a break from work because i had said i wanted to travel in August and work was going to be evry busy then. The logic was she couldn't tell me not to travel since i was a woman in my own right and no one should toss me around. I faulted her logic in my head immediately and i just knew that was the end of the road for us...my doubts were confirmed! I didn't respond, just said ok, i needed time to process it. You see the organisation has a reputation of a very high staff turnover..
When i told hubby, he said he was sure i wasn't being laid off in a sly manner and even if they wanted me to go, they should come out and say it, i agreed. So i made a call to Z and asked if i decided not to travel anymore, would it still be necessary to take the break? Well to not drag it, by the next morning, she came out with the truth 'we're going to have to let you go'. I felt relieved, cos i knew i achieved something, i pushed her to the wall and it felt good. I'm not someone to walk all over and thanks to my hubby who made me do it..we talked, we strategised and when i told him he was mad. When i asked for a reason, i didn't get anything reasonable, the only thing i could gather was my personality is a problem for A and Z has to do her bidding, just she's a very sly and cunning one...thank God i don't swear..
So i left with my head held high, what am i going to do? My response was a lot! Hubby has always been my anchor, he left work, this was mid day and came to meet me although i had the car..the guy is my anchor, walahi! My life without him would be a mess! So i didn't have a job anymore although i wasn't sure i had it in the first place, i see it more as a contract, we didn't even have a signed contract!
It felt great to know i had support from hubby. The first few days, it sunk in, and it felt horrible, i'd always left my job by myself...and to be relieved of a contract for no just reason was a mess. I think what i felt was more of anger! And then i had to decide what to do...i wasn't going to start writing applications. I was done with that! I had to start walking on water once again! The master had taught me, i only needed to put my hands in his and He would lead me, it was still a bit tough to accept. No income was coming from anywhere, hubby said he didn't mind but how could i depend totally on him? He assured me we'd be fine, not like my salary was so much anyway...
We had this business idea we had been toying with so hubby said it was 'my baby' and i decided to give it a try. How would it be like to be my own boss? I had run a business before but i wondered if i could do it again...then i stepped out...i decided i would run our business and be a writer at my own volition..a freelance writer..
I didn't share it then because i needed to deal with the issues and now i feel like i can...I have put my hands in the master's. He is leading me and i am following, sometimes it's hard not knowing where the next income is coming from but i know He has my back and although i am sowing in tears, i will reap in joy. And my hubby? He has been wonderful, doesn't make me miss working a 9-5...and i honestly don't really miss that life!
He's the potter, i am the clay and He is making me into a masterpiece!
March i left my job, it was a crazy move but i knew i had to do it for my sanity and i started learning to walk on water, the first few days were tough, i wasn't certain of anything and then i went for a 3 week leadership course in church, got an interview offer with a talk show and voila i applied, under a week i had the job.
It was a pay cut from my last job but it was a step closer to developing my God given gift and although i had mixed feelings about it, i was enthusiastic after all i had applied for the position of a writer...note the word applied! Then i started the job and my role was not just writer, i was to find guests, interview them and write scripts, i didn't mind but it wasn't what i applied for. It was exciting at the same time, meeting people i didn't dream of meeting..it was exciting, for once i had a job that was 'almost' fun except for my boss'(let's call her A) once in a while rants..which i thought i could deal with, afterall we weren't interfacing with each other much!
It was easy for me to find my guests, i was almost a natural, only had to make a few calls and they were available, writing my scripts wasn't so much of an issue though i kept going to my direct boss(let's call her Z) for help, she liked that...and she always gave me positive comments, i was her best hand of all the new people she hired and stuff like that..
Then we started shooting and i noticed things that made me rethink taking the job. A number of times i wanted to take a walk andgo home, wondering if i left a crappy job to come meet another crap and since i was no longer afraid of leaving a job, looked like it could be the next move. A was temperamental and verbally abuses people, she said things to me i can't recount for no just reason and a lot of people thought it was because she knew i wasn't desperate for the job and also because she knew i had my pride and would not suck up, is that a crime?
Well, i kept telling hubby i might want to leave the job considering the things going on and he kept reminding me of why i took it and that i should think of spending one more season. In a week, i got all my episodes that i worked on scrapped, had to work on new ones afresh and i did a good job of it even if i say so myself...i got some positive comments...
Then we went back to the office and i had this strange feeling that i needed to resign, my heart just wasn't in the job anymore, it wasn't really all i bargained for and not at this age will i receive verbal abuse from anyone..no i wasn't desperate...they were having meetings..and then we all had a meeting and there was much talk about the coming season, then Z singled me out and said she needed to talk to me. I just knew it wasn't good news
So she said i should take a break from work because i had said i wanted to travel in August and work was going to be evry busy then. The logic was she couldn't tell me not to travel since i was a woman in my own right and no one should toss me around. I faulted her logic in my head immediately and i just knew that was the end of the road for us...my doubts were confirmed! I didn't respond, just said ok, i needed time to process it. You see the organisation has a reputation of a very high staff turnover..
When i told hubby, he said he was sure i wasn't being laid off in a sly manner and even if they wanted me to go, they should come out and say it, i agreed. So i made a call to Z and asked if i decided not to travel anymore, would it still be necessary to take the break? Well to not drag it, by the next morning, she came out with the truth 'we're going to have to let you go'. I felt relieved, cos i knew i achieved something, i pushed her to the wall and it felt good. I'm not someone to walk all over and thanks to my hubby who made me do it..we talked, we strategised and when i told him he was mad. When i asked for a reason, i didn't get anything reasonable, the only thing i could gather was my personality is a problem for A and Z has to do her bidding, just she's a very sly and cunning one...thank God i don't swear..
So i left with my head held high, what am i going to do? My response was a lot! Hubby has always been my anchor, he left work, this was mid day and came to meet me although i had the car..the guy is my anchor, walahi! My life without him would be a mess! So i didn't have a job anymore although i wasn't sure i had it in the first place, i see it more as a contract, we didn't even have a signed contract!
It felt great to know i had support from hubby. The first few days, it sunk in, and it felt horrible, i'd always left my job by myself...and to be relieved of a contract for no just reason was a mess. I think what i felt was more of anger! And then i had to decide what to do...i wasn't going to start writing applications. I was done with that! I had to start walking on water once again! The master had taught me, i only needed to put my hands in his and He would lead me, it was still a bit tough to accept. No income was coming from anywhere, hubby said he didn't mind but how could i depend totally on him? He assured me we'd be fine, not like my salary was so much anyway...
We had this business idea we had been toying with so hubby said it was 'my baby' and i decided to give it a try. How would it be like to be my own boss? I had run a business before but i wondered if i could do it again...then i stepped out...i decided i would run our business and be a writer at my own volition..a freelance writer..
I didn't share it then because i needed to deal with the issues and now i feel like i can...I have put my hands in the master's. He is leading me and i am following, sometimes it's hard not knowing where the next income is coming from but i know He has my back and although i am sowing in tears, i will reap in joy. And my hubby? He has been wonderful, doesn't make me miss working a 9-5...and i honestly don't really miss that life!
He's the potter, i am the clay and He is making me into a masterpiece!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
....Escape continued
By popular demand and a lot of begging (hehehe)..here's the continuation of Escape, hope you guys will enjoy reading it. You can find the beginning of the short story here
It's a long one cos i didn't want to break it and risk the likes of LG begging me to update and conclude the story...Have a nice read
My performances in front of the mirror were judged by myself, I couldn't trust anyone to come into my sanctuary. The only person I informed about the audition in my family was my older brother who advised me to be careful. I was a bit disappointed because I expected more from him. A week to the audition, I checked myself in the mirror and the only thing missing was the hairstyle. I had cornrows and was
sure no artist wore them except the old fashioned ones. I begged Sikira to buy me a wig out of the savings I had in my kolo, she almost refused but I gave her a tip. She asked what I needed it for; my response was that she should not bother. She gave me a quizzical look and shrugged. It was none of her business!
I went for the audition under the pretext that I was visiting a friend. When I saw the calibre of people that came for the audition, I knew I stood no chance. Some of them were at least twice my age and really beautiful. They exuded confidence and I felt tiny, I felt lost.
I decided then I should have come with my brother for some encouragement. I sat alone trying to keep my confidence and pretending to read a book I was holding. The
only problem was I had been reading the same line for about an hour and still could not remember what I read. At least, it was better than staring at the experienced ladies.
When I heard my name, my heart jumped out of my chest and I walked to the podium with legs that almost seemed replaced with lead. I was shaking uncontrollably and one of the judges told me to calm down. I took a deep breath, accepted the microphone that was offered and in a few minutes I was pretending to be one of the popular artists that sang on TV. I transported myself to my sanctuary at home where there were no judges but me and sang my song. I noticed as I closed that the judges and my fellow contestants were on their feet clapping for me. I remember one of the judges saying ‘young lady, your voice is bigger than you!’ I smiled as I left the podium knowing I had given my best. Ola was one of the judges and he flashed me a smile as I left, my heart skipped a beat. I saw him whispering to the other judges and I became confident that I would hear my name when the winners were announced.
Two hours later, winners were announced and I heard my name. Three of us were going to join Ola’s group as back up singers. I was ecstatic. My only problem remained how to convince my parents it was a right move but I was determined not to miss the opportunity. This was my chance to become a successful singer and nothing was going to stop me. I headed home and the only thought that ran through my head was how I would tell my parents.
My parents had a habit of listening to the 9pm news on NTA so I sat with them pretending to listen to the news. Immediately the broadcaster finished, it was my turn. I broke the news to my parents and I saw my father’s face go ashen. My mother immediately shouted ‘lailai, over our dead bodies’. My dad’s only words were ‘no daughter of mine will join a music group and that is final’. I went on my knees begging my parents to understand how this was a dream of a lifetime and telling them how much it meant to me. I watched as my father got up and went into their room; my mother also got up and followed him not forgetting to tell me ‘see what you have caused’.
For several days, I woke up everyday to kneel before my father and explain what it meant to me to join the group and promised I would not let him down. I saw my mother soften and try to talk to my father but he had a wall around him that could not be penetrated. After several attempts, I devised a plan to run away from home. I told my brother who advised me against it but he cooperated with me when he found out that my mind was made up.
The day I left home, both my parents were out and my brother escorted me to the hotel where Ola was staying. It was the day he would leave with those of us that were lucky to be chosen. I couldn’t make his performances as I was not allowed. His face broadened into a smile as I entered his hotel room. He looked at me and said ‘I was beginning to think the best of the lot would not show up, what took you so long?’ I was flattered and could not find my voice. After a few minutes and smiling politely, I introduced my brother to him. They chatted for a while and I heard Femi; my brother say: “please take care of my little sister”. Tears rushed to my eyes, what was I doing running away from home? Was I making a mistake? Should I pick up my bag and go back home with my brother? It was not late yet, my parents were not aware and I could go back home and pretend nothing had happened. But on the other hand, this was my opportunity of a lifetime, my claim to fame. I refused to give in to my childish thoughts.
I walked my brother out of the hotel and we embraced. He told me: “Tope, you know it’s not too late for you to change your mind. Are you sure this is right for you?” I held on to him sobbing and told him I would definitely keep in touch when I reached my destination. He knew my mind was made up and told me he would expect to hear from me waving once and not turning back. I watched him leave till I could see no more trace of him, then I walked into my future.
Joining Ola’s band was initially a lot of fun; we travelled a lot, met people, slept in hotels and bought nice things. I sometimes missed my family but I was learning a lot about my career that I pushed it to the back of my mind. Once I settled down, I had called my parents to apologise for disappointing them and that I loved them. My father told me it was ok, I had chosen my own path. My mother said she loved me and if I ever wanted to come home, they would be there waiting for me. Of course there was no going back; this was my claim to fame.
Ola started to pay me more attention than he did the other ladies. After performances, he would ask me to come and sit at the same table with him, telling me how beautiful I looked and how I was the best singer he had. I was flattered. A lot of times I saw the other ladies look at me with jealousy. They would give arms and legs to be his girlfriends and here was I not even trying at all. I was indeed flattered.
Ola wooed me gradually, and the day he asked me to be his wife was a very memorable one. We had been into the relationship almost a year, he treated me with respect, opened the car door for me, bought me nice and expensive gifts and I was the envy of all ladies. He asked me for sex several times but I told him no I wanted us to wait and do it properly on our wedding night, he obliged.
I informed my parents I was getting married and my mother tried to reason with me that I was too young and should give myself time to become more matured. I was nineteen at the time. It was two years after I left home. My father was very displeased with the news but they were at the wedding ceremony all the same. It was a quiet ceremony at a registry with a small reception. Later in the evening though, Ola entertained a lot of his friends in our new home, they made noise and drank too much. I didn’t like it but I couldn’t complain. I knew Ola himself drank a lot but I was head over heels in love.
We went on honeymoon for only a few days as we had performances lined up. When we got back, I prepared myself for the trip and was packing when I heard him say: “what are you doing?” I told him I was getting ready for the trip and he said he wouldn’t want his new bride on the road. I needed to get used to life as a married woman so I should stay behind. He would be back soon he promised. I was sad but I thought he had my interest at heart.
Ola was gone for two whole weeks and boredom became my best companion, my only saving grace were the few novels I bought. I devoured them quickly and watched a lot of Television feeling useless. The past two years of my life had been spent on the road and when we were not performing, we were rehearsing for the next performance. The rest of the time, I was with Ola.
I was ecstatic when he came back. He bought me many gifts and gave me all the attention for the first day. On his second night back, he said he had been invited to a friend’s party, I asked to be taken along and he said no; “a woman’s place is at home”. This shocked me, before we got married, we went everywhere together. I waited for him for several hours and about 12 midnight, he called the house, sounding very incoherent. All I could gather was he was not coming home anymore that night and I could go to bed.
It occurred to me I had made a mistake in marrying him and that I should have stayed with my parents and gone to the University after all. I was not going to tell them we were having any problems though and whenever I spoke to them on the phone, I always lied that things were very fine.
Gradually I found out that Ola did not want me to accompany him on his tours anymore. I was relegated to the home front now, and I could not even go out anymore without seeking his permission. This was not the life I dreamt of; I was supposed to be living in pure bliss with my knight in shining armour and making waves as a singer. When I tried to talk to him about the issues we were having, he told me I was only being stubborn and that if I would just be a dutiful wife and not make complaints, life would be good for us.
I spent many lonely nights, crying into my pillow and begging God to show me a way of escape. Tales of Ola’s randy lifestyle came back to me but I chose not to dwell on them. My whole life since I left home was one big mistake and I was waiting for the day I would be able to make a break and start all over. I was too proud though to ask my parents for help. On the one occasion when they visited, my mum called me aside and tried to find out how things were and I gave her a very fake smile. “Ola is such a good husband”, I lied through my teeth.
I had very few friends who were not allowed to visit, except Ola was not around and we had to make it secret, I was not sure if he had people watching me or not. Out of boredom, I registered for a media course online and whenever he was not around I would settle down to do my assignments. The shipping address I used to get my materials was my friend’s house address and she delivered them to me when I told her it was ok to. The books were kept very safely in the store, hidden in different parts so he would not see them. This was the second year of our marriage and I could count the number of times we had been under the same roof together. My marriage was a prison.
In the third year of our marriage, I got pregnant but miscarried the baby. He was away on a trip and I had to cope with the loss by myself. When he came back, he pampered me a bit and told me we would definitely have another one.
‘Don’t worry yourself my dear, is that why you’re acting like a widow? These things happen. You will have another one. My three sisters, you know the story, they all lost their first pregnancies, look at them now breeding like rats....’’ I tuned my mind off not wanting to listen to his insensitive ramblings.
He made to hug me after delivering his speech but even that felt very cold and he ended up patting me on the back instead. I lost a baby; our fist baby when my husband was away and that was all he could say to me. It made me sad that I wasn’t wise enough to see this side of him before I foolishly gave in to his advances.
It felt as if a part of me died all over’ it died when the baby died but my husband helped to kill it again.
To him, life seemed to be a big joke and nothing apart from keeping me for himself seemed to matter to him. He treated the matter so casually that I wondered for a while if he ever wanted the baby, although I later found out, he only did that to mask his feelings. He wanted the baby more than I did. I found out one night he was drunk.
‘My silly wife, just a child, the only thing I thought she would be good for was baby making and look what happened. She lost the baby. That baby would have been the most important thing to me’. I was shocked at his words because as the Yoruba adage says ‘nkan toti ba ba ninu eyan lo n pa’yan ba’. That was what my husband thought of me. I made up my mind not to get pregnant anymore until I was sure of the direction my life would take. With the help of my friend, I got some birth control pills that I kept safe in my wardrobe.
This was the 5th year of our marriage and I had completed my online media course. There were a few occasions where I was almost found out but providence was on my side and he never was so inquisitive, he only made reference to the fact that my computer was at least a good enough companion when he was not around. I remember on one occasion he snooped behind me and the next thing I knew he was staring into my computer, I was so sure I had been found out and instinctively, my hand found its way to the hibernate button. I was shocked when he treated the matter with such levity. I’m sure he never thought I was capable of doing anything phenomenal.
‘Why are you closing your computer? I wonder what you’re doing on it but it’s ok, you don’t want me to see what it is right?’ Just as soon as he said that, he moved on to another conversation and for once I was very grateful that he was a flighty person.
The idea that I could escape this prison began to brood in my mind and I began to devise the plan. So it was on this day that I called my brother and opened up to him, he told me I should have called earlier and didn’t need to suffer in silence. I told him I needed to be sure the direction my life was taking and that now I was armed for the future with a degree and a will to stand on my own. We agreed he would inform my parents that I was leaving my husband; the jailor and the home I had known for five years. I got a call from my parents the evening I called my brother and I can still remember the conversation.
‘Tope, why did you not tell us all this time? Why? I somehow knew things weren’t right between you and that husband of yours’
By now, I could hear her sniffing, my mother was crying and I was ashamed. Remorse washed over me. I should have listened to my parents and obeyed them. We were both crying now
‘‘I will speak to your brother, we will arrange where you’ll stay once you leave that prison, and we will all stand by you. My mother declared with authority in her voice. Your father is here and he said I should tell you he is not angry with you'’
That made me cry the more; the prodigal daughter was going home to her parents
‘I’m sorry, I’m so sorry’, was all I could manage to say on the phone.
For several minutes after I finished making the call, I just sat down there and wept, for the lost years and for what my disobedience had made me go through.
I waited till he went on his next trip; I was more than happy to see him leave. He told me he was going to be away for two weeks and I pretended to be the loving wife who hated to see her husband go. I told him leaving me at home all the time wasn’t fair
‘Ola, you know it’s not fair to just leave me at home all by myself all the time. We’re trying to have a baby, yet you won’t even stay at home, all you do is get on the road and you won’t even take me with you’
He looked at me and didn’t respond to what I said which was typical. I decided to make things hard for him so I sulked for hours. I knew the right card to play was the pregnancy one. I knew how much he longed to have his own children so it was only a matter of time before he responded to me.
‘Ok Tope dear, I know it’s hard to be home alone by yourself all the time, I promise we will go together on my next trip. Even if we’re unable to spend all the time together, we can spend the evenings in our bed’. He winked at me. I felt like grabbing a knife to castrate him. That was the only thing I was good for to him; the idiot! Well, I had achieved my aim; he would never suspect what I was up to.
The evening he travelled, I called my brother and all I told him was ‘it’s time’’ and he understood.
‘‘I’ll meet you in half an hour’’, he said and disconnected the call. My brother had come to town the previous day and was staying in a hotel not too far from our house. We had agreed he would not visit so as not to arouse any form of suspicion. My family members did not visit often. I set to work and finished packing my bags, a routine I had gotten used to in all my married years, I had done it on countless occasions, the only difference this time was that I was actually going through with the plan,.
I sat down watching the clock and hoping my brother would arrive earlier than he said. I was very anxious. What if Ola showed up and said his trip had been cancelled. What if he had sent a spy to me? My mind was in turmoil. Five minutes before my brother said he would arrive; I heard the door bell and ran to the door. God had answered my prayer and my brother was early.
What I saw when I opened the door made my heart skip several beats. Standing at our doorstep was not my brother but Ola’s friend; Joseph. His friends usually came over when he was away but not the next day. I knew he sent them as spies to check on meI but I wasn’t expecting one this early, that was part of the reason, I had planned my escape for the day after his departure.
I greeted Joseph with the best smile I could put up and refused to step aside for him to come into the house. I didn’t like Joseph, he was a very lousy young man and all he did at our place was eat and drink, then drink some more. A lot of times, he and Ola would get drunk together and I would have to clean up after them. We both knew there was no love lost between us.
‘I am sorry Joseph but I can’t entertain a guest now. I’m getting ready to go out’
He gave me a quizzical look
‘Is that the way to welcome your husband’s friend? You want to turn me back at the door?’
I was determined not to let him in as that would only jeopardise my escape. My boxes were already in the living room and it would be obvious to any idiot that I wasn’t taking a vacation, I was leaving for good.
‘What are you doing in the house that you won’t let me in? Oh you are entertaining a boyfriend and you’re afraid I will tell Ola? Well everyday is for the thief, today is for the owner. You will let me in and I will call your husband immediately’
‘No you cannot come in and if you try to touch me, I will scream at the top of my voice’. I knew that would not help much because our house was fenced all around.
I was silently praying that he would leave and that my brother would not come while we were there.
Joseph was not going to budge easily because he stayed rooted there and shouted to his driver to park the car properly. I saw my brother’s car in the driveway and I removed the key from the lock, stepped outside and closed the door. I suppose I was too fast for him to comprehend what was happening.
‘Well the reason I told you I could not entertain you is here; it’s my brother and we plan to go somewhere together’. I was not going to let my brother meet us at the door. I left him at the door shouting at the top of his voice
‘Ola must hear this, you shameless woman, you prostitute’. I got to my brother’s car as he parked and as I stepped in, I commanded him to move the car.
‘What’s going on Tope? Where is your luggage?’ I didn’t answer and he asked no further questions. He just drove.
I explained what happened to him once we got out of the compound. We agreed to stay together all day and delay our plans by a day. My brother checked out of his hotel and we took a room under false names in another part of town since we were not sure if Joseph had carried out his threat and if we were being followed.
Later that night when it was dark, my brother went alone, we agreed it was safer to move my things. I paced the room up and down till I heard his knock on the door. We had agreed he would knock thrice before I opened the door. I hugged him in broke down, tears of joy and relief flowing from my eyes.
We talked into the night about the fateful day he helped me to leave home, the last 5 years of my life and my plans for the future. By 5 am the next morning, we were ready to leave; I stepped into the car, armed with a degree in Media studies and into my real future. My brother drove away and I did not look back.
* kolo – A traditional form of piggy bank for kids
*‘nkan toti ba ba ninu eyan lo n pa’yan ba’- a drunk man’s ramblings will be inspired by the thoughts he has had before
I hope you guys liked the story...please feel free to let me know what you think. Have a fantastic week!
It's a long one cos i didn't want to break it and risk the likes of LG begging me to update and conclude the story...Have a nice read
My performances in front of the mirror were judged by myself, I couldn't trust anyone to come into my sanctuary. The only person I informed about the audition in my family was my older brother who advised me to be careful. I was a bit disappointed because I expected more from him. A week to the audition, I checked myself in the mirror and the only thing missing was the hairstyle. I had cornrows and was
sure no artist wore them except the old fashioned ones. I begged Sikira to buy me a wig out of the savings I had in my kolo, she almost refused but I gave her a tip. She asked what I needed it for; my response was that she should not bother. She gave me a quizzical look and shrugged. It was none of her business!
I went for the audition under the pretext that I was visiting a friend. When I saw the calibre of people that came for the audition, I knew I stood no chance. Some of them were at least twice my age and really beautiful. They exuded confidence and I felt tiny, I felt lost.
I decided then I should have come with my brother for some encouragement. I sat alone trying to keep my confidence and pretending to read a book I was holding. The
only problem was I had been reading the same line for about an hour and still could not remember what I read. At least, it was better than staring at the experienced ladies.
When I heard my name, my heart jumped out of my chest and I walked to the podium with legs that almost seemed replaced with lead. I was shaking uncontrollably and one of the judges told me to calm down. I took a deep breath, accepted the microphone that was offered and in a few minutes I was pretending to be one of the popular artists that sang on TV. I transported myself to my sanctuary at home where there were no judges but me and sang my song. I noticed as I closed that the judges and my fellow contestants were on their feet clapping for me. I remember one of the judges saying ‘young lady, your voice is bigger than you!’ I smiled as I left the podium knowing I had given my best. Ola was one of the judges and he flashed me a smile as I left, my heart skipped a beat. I saw him whispering to the other judges and I became confident that I would hear my name when the winners were announced.
Two hours later, winners were announced and I heard my name. Three of us were going to join Ola’s group as back up singers. I was ecstatic. My only problem remained how to convince my parents it was a right move but I was determined not to miss the opportunity. This was my chance to become a successful singer and nothing was going to stop me. I headed home and the only thought that ran through my head was how I would tell my parents.
My parents had a habit of listening to the 9pm news on NTA so I sat with them pretending to listen to the news. Immediately the broadcaster finished, it was my turn. I broke the news to my parents and I saw my father’s face go ashen. My mother immediately shouted ‘lailai, over our dead bodies’. My dad’s only words were ‘no daughter of mine will join a music group and that is final’. I went on my knees begging my parents to understand how this was a dream of a lifetime and telling them how much it meant to me. I watched as my father got up and went into their room; my mother also got up and followed him not forgetting to tell me ‘see what you have caused’.
For several days, I woke up everyday to kneel before my father and explain what it meant to me to join the group and promised I would not let him down. I saw my mother soften and try to talk to my father but he had a wall around him that could not be penetrated. After several attempts, I devised a plan to run away from home. I told my brother who advised me against it but he cooperated with me when he found out that my mind was made up.
The day I left home, both my parents were out and my brother escorted me to the hotel where Ola was staying. It was the day he would leave with those of us that were lucky to be chosen. I couldn’t make his performances as I was not allowed. His face broadened into a smile as I entered his hotel room. He looked at me and said ‘I was beginning to think the best of the lot would not show up, what took you so long?’ I was flattered and could not find my voice. After a few minutes and smiling politely, I introduced my brother to him. They chatted for a while and I heard Femi; my brother say: “please take care of my little sister”. Tears rushed to my eyes, what was I doing running away from home? Was I making a mistake? Should I pick up my bag and go back home with my brother? It was not late yet, my parents were not aware and I could go back home and pretend nothing had happened. But on the other hand, this was my opportunity of a lifetime, my claim to fame. I refused to give in to my childish thoughts.
I walked my brother out of the hotel and we embraced. He told me: “Tope, you know it’s not too late for you to change your mind. Are you sure this is right for you?” I held on to him sobbing and told him I would definitely keep in touch when I reached my destination. He knew my mind was made up and told me he would expect to hear from me waving once and not turning back. I watched him leave till I could see no more trace of him, then I walked into my future.
Joining Ola’s band was initially a lot of fun; we travelled a lot, met people, slept in hotels and bought nice things. I sometimes missed my family but I was learning a lot about my career that I pushed it to the back of my mind. Once I settled down, I had called my parents to apologise for disappointing them and that I loved them. My father told me it was ok, I had chosen my own path. My mother said she loved me and if I ever wanted to come home, they would be there waiting for me. Of course there was no going back; this was my claim to fame.
Ola started to pay me more attention than he did the other ladies. After performances, he would ask me to come and sit at the same table with him, telling me how beautiful I looked and how I was the best singer he had. I was flattered. A lot of times I saw the other ladies look at me with jealousy. They would give arms and legs to be his girlfriends and here was I not even trying at all. I was indeed flattered.
Ola wooed me gradually, and the day he asked me to be his wife was a very memorable one. We had been into the relationship almost a year, he treated me with respect, opened the car door for me, bought me nice and expensive gifts and I was the envy of all ladies. He asked me for sex several times but I told him no I wanted us to wait and do it properly on our wedding night, he obliged.
I informed my parents I was getting married and my mother tried to reason with me that I was too young and should give myself time to become more matured. I was nineteen at the time. It was two years after I left home. My father was very displeased with the news but they were at the wedding ceremony all the same. It was a quiet ceremony at a registry with a small reception. Later in the evening though, Ola entertained a lot of his friends in our new home, they made noise and drank too much. I didn’t like it but I couldn’t complain. I knew Ola himself drank a lot but I was head over heels in love.
We went on honeymoon for only a few days as we had performances lined up. When we got back, I prepared myself for the trip and was packing when I heard him say: “what are you doing?” I told him I was getting ready for the trip and he said he wouldn’t want his new bride on the road. I needed to get used to life as a married woman so I should stay behind. He would be back soon he promised. I was sad but I thought he had my interest at heart.
Ola was gone for two whole weeks and boredom became my best companion, my only saving grace were the few novels I bought. I devoured them quickly and watched a lot of Television feeling useless. The past two years of my life had been spent on the road and when we were not performing, we were rehearsing for the next performance. The rest of the time, I was with Ola.
I was ecstatic when he came back. He bought me many gifts and gave me all the attention for the first day. On his second night back, he said he had been invited to a friend’s party, I asked to be taken along and he said no; “a woman’s place is at home”. This shocked me, before we got married, we went everywhere together. I waited for him for several hours and about 12 midnight, he called the house, sounding very incoherent. All I could gather was he was not coming home anymore that night and I could go to bed.
It occurred to me I had made a mistake in marrying him and that I should have stayed with my parents and gone to the University after all. I was not going to tell them we were having any problems though and whenever I spoke to them on the phone, I always lied that things were very fine.
Gradually I found out that Ola did not want me to accompany him on his tours anymore. I was relegated to the home front now, and I could not even go out anymore without seeking his permission. This was not the life I dreamt of; I was supposed to be living in pure bliss with my knight in shining armour and making waves as a singer. When I tried to talk to him about the issues we were having, he told me I was only being stubborn and that if I would just be a dutiful wife and not make complaints, life would be good for us.
I spent many lonely nights, crying into my pillow and begging God to show me a way of escape. Tales of Ola’s randy lifestyle came back to me but I chose not to dwell on them. My whole life since I left home was one big mistake and I was waiting for the day I would be able to make a break and start all over. I was too proud though to ask my parents for help. On the one occasion when they visited, my mum called me aside and tried to find out how things were and I gave her a very fake smile. “Ola is such a good husband”, I lied through my teeth.
I had very few friends who were not allowed to visit, except Ola was not around and we had to make it secret, I was not sure if he had people watching me or not. Out of boredom, I registered for a media course online and whenever he was not around I would settle down to do my assignments. The shipping address I used to get my materials was my friend’s house address and she delivered them to me when I told her it was ok to. The books were kept very safely in the store, hidden in different parts so he would not see them. This was the second year of our marriage and I could count the number of times we had been under the same roof together. My marriage was a prison.
In the third year of our marriage, I got pregnant but miscarried the baby. He was away on a trip and I had to cope with the loss by myself. When he came back, he pampered me a bit and told me we would definitely have another one.
‘Don’t worry yourself my dear, is that why you’re acting like a widow? These things happen. You will have another one. My three sisters, you know the story, they all lost their first pregnancies, look at them now breeding like rats....’’ I tuned my mind off not wanting to listen to his insensitive ramblings.
He made to hug me after delivering his speech but even that felt very cold and he ended up patting me on the back instead. I lost a baby; our fist baby when my husband was away and that was all he could say to me. It made me sad that I wasn’t wise enough to see this side of him before I foolishly gave in to his advances.
It felt as if a part of me died all over’ it died when the baby died but my husband helped to kill it again.
To him, life seemed to be a big joke and nothing apart from keeping me for himself seemed to matter to him. He treated the matter so casually that I wondered for a while if he ever wanted the baby, although I later found out, he only did that to mask his feelings. He wanted the baby more than I did. I found out one night he was drunk.
‘My silly wife, just a child, the only thing I thought she would be good for was baby making and look what happened. She lost the baby. That baby would have been the most important thing to me’. I was shocked at his words because as the Yoruba adage says ‘nkan toti ba ba ninu eyan lo n pa’yan ba’. That was what my husband thought of me. I made up my mind not to get pregnant anymore until I was sure of the direction my life would take. With the help of my friend, I got some birth control pills that I kept safe in my wardrobe.
This was the 5th year of our marriage and I had completed my online media course. There were a few occasions where I was almost found out but providence was on my side and he never was so inquisitive, he only made reference to the fact that my computer was at least a good enough companion when he was not around. I remember on one occasion he snooped behind me and the next thing I knew he was staring into my computer, I was so sure I had been found out and instinctively, my hand found its way to the hibernate button. I was shocked when he treated the matter with such levity. I’m sure he never thought I was capable of doing anything phenomenal.
‘Why are you closing your computer? I wonder what you’re doing on it but it’s ok, you don’t want me to see what it is right?’ Just as soon as he said that, he moved on to another conversation and for once I was very grateful that he was a flighty person.
The idea that I could escape this prison began to brood in my mind and I began to devise the plan. So it was on this day that I called my brother and opened up to him, he told me I should have called earlier and didn’t need to suffer in silence. I told him I needed to be sure the direction my life was taking and that now I was armed for the future with a degree and a will to stand on my own. We agreed he would inform my parents that I was leaving my husband; the jailor and the home I had known for five years. I got a call from my parents the evening I called my brother and I can still remember the conversation.
‘Tope, why did you not tell us all this time? Why? I somehow knew things weren’t right between you and that husband of yours’
By now, I could hear her sniffing, my mother was crying and I was ashamed. Remorse washed over me. I should have listened to my parents and obeyed them. We were both crying now
‘‘I will speak to your brother, we will arrange where you’ll stay once you leave that prison, and we will all stand by you. My mother declared with authority in her voice. Your father is here and he said I should tell you he is not angry with you'’
That made me cry the more; the prodigal daughter was going home to her parents
‘I’m sorry, I’m so sorry’, was all I could manage to say on the phone.
For several minutes after I finished making the call, I just sat down there and wept, for the lost years and for what my disobedience had made me go through.
I waited till he went on his next trip; I was more than happy to see him leave. He told me he was going to be away for two weeks and I pretended to be the loving wife who hated to see her husband go. I told him leaving me at home all the time wasn’t fair
‘Ola, you know it’s not fair to just leave me at home all by myself all the time. We’re trying to have a baby, yet you won’t even stay at home, all you do is get on the road and you won’t even take me with you’
He looked at me and didn’t respond to what I said which was typical. I decided to make things hard for him so I sulked for hours. I knew the right card to play was the pregnancy one. I knew how much he longed to have his own children so it was only a matter of time before he responded to me.
‘Ok Tope dear, I know it’s hard to be home alone by yourself all the time, I promise we will go together on my next trip. Even if we’re unable to spend all the time together, we can spend the evenings in our bed’. He winked at me. I felt like grabbing a knife to castrate him. That was the only thing I was good for to him; the idiot! Well, I had achieved my aim; he would never suspect what I was up to.
The evening he travelled, I called my brother and all I told him was ‘it’s time’’ and he understood.
‘‘I’ll meet you in half an hour’’, he said and disconnected the call. My brother had come to town the previous day and was staying in a hotel not too far from our house. We had agreed he would not visit so as not to arouse any form of suspicion. My family members did not visit often. I set to work and finished packing my bags, a routine I had gotten used to in all my married years, I had done it on countless occasions, the only difference this time was that I was actually going through with the plan,.
I sat down watching the clock and hoping my brother would arrive earlier than he said. I was very anxious. What if Ola showed up and said his trip had been cancelled. What if he had sent a spy to me? My mind was in turmoil. Five minutes before my brother said he would arrive; I heard the door bell and ran to the door. God had answered my prayer and my brother was early.
What I saw when I opened the door made my heart skip several beats. Standing at our doorstep was not my brother but Ola’s friend; Joseph. His friends usually came over when he was away but not the next day. I knew he sent them as spies to check on meI but I wasn’t expecting one this early, that was part of the reason, I had planned my escape for the day after his departure.
I greeted Joseph with the best smile I could put up and refused to step aside for him to come into the house. I didn’t like Joseph, he was a very lousy young man and all he did at our place was eat and drink, then drink some more. A lot of times, he and Ola would get drunk together and I would have to clean up after them. We both knew there was no love lost between us.
‘I am sorry Joseph but I can’t entertain a guest now. I’m getting ready to go out’
He gave me a quizzical look
‘Is that the way to welcome your husband’s friend? You want to turn me back at the door?’
I was determined not to let him in as that would only jeopardise my escape. My boxes were already in the living room and it would be obvious to any idiot that I wasn’t taking a vacation, I was leaving for good.
‘What are you doing in the house that you won’t let me in? Oh you are entertaining a boyfriend and you’re afraid I will tell Ola? Well everyday is for the thief, today is for the owner. You will let me in and I will call your husband immediately’
‘No you cannot come in and if you try to touch me, I will scream at the top of my voice’. I knew that would not help much because our house was fenced all around.
I was silently praying that he would leave and that my brother would not come while we were there.
Joseph was not going to budge easily because he stayed rooted there and shouted to his driver to park the car properly. I saw my brother’s car in the driveway and I removed the key from the lock, stepped outside and closed the door. I suppose I was too fast for him to comprehend what was happening.
‘Well the reason I told you I could not entertain you is here; it’s my brother and we plan to go somewhere together’. I was not going to let my brother meet us at the door. I left him at the door shouting at the top of his voice
‘Ola must hear this, you shameless woman, you prostitute’. I got to my brother’s car as he parked and as I stepped in, I commanded him to move the car.
‘What’s going on Tope? Where is your luggage?’ I didn’t answer and he asked no further questions. He just drove.
I explained what happened to him once we got out of the compound. We agreed to stay together all day and delay our plans by a day. My brother checked out of his hotel and we took a room under false names in another part of town since we were not sure if Joseph had carried out his threat and if we were being followed.
Later that night when it was dark, my brother went alone, we agreed it was safer to move my things. I paced the room up and down till I heard his knock on the door. We had agreed he would knock thrice before I opened the door. I hugged him in broke down, tears of joy and relief flowing from my eyes.
We talked into the night about the fateful day he helped me to leave home, the last 5 years of my life and my plans for the future. By 5 am the next morning, we were ready to leave; I stepped into the car, armed with a degree in Media studies and into my real future. My brother drove away and I did not look back.
* kolo – A traditional form of piggy bank for kids
*‘nkan toti ba ba ninu eyan lo n pa’yan ba’- a drunk man’s ramblings will be inspired by the thoughts he has had before
I hope you guys liked the story...please feel free to let me know what you think. Have a fantastic week!
Friday, August 08, 2008
Back to the Treadmill
Earlier in the year, i made a resolve to join a gym and go thrice a week, i had moved from a size 8 to a 10 and didn't want to go any further than that, some flabs were beginning to appear in the wrong places..i had to keep in shape so i registered, even got hubby to go with me a few times, trust me that was a huge achievement, lol. This was about the time i left my job so i had no reason not to go, i started out with a lot of enthusiasm, i loved working out so much i would never drop out!
My gym instructor was very impressed with me, i was very consistent and even lost 2kg, dropping from 65 to 63 kg in less than two weeks, i was happy with my achievement, my target was to go back to 60kg and stay there and keep fit..then i started a training program and it became hard to go to the gym although i finished in the early afternoons. I had sound excuses not to go and workout.
For a while, i maintained a lazy routine at home and kept promising myself i would go to the gym tomorrow or the day after, good thing is tomorrow never ends...se, all you procrastinators (i have a right to form my own English words seeing that Soyinka is one of my mentors) in the house, please nod your heads with me!
Then i got an assignment somewhere on the Island and stayed out till like 7pm most days..there went my gym resolve, out of the window! No more gym, it was a nice plan, it just wasn't convenient anymore, being busy helped my wwight remain constant but i had reneged on my resolve even on weekends...then gradually i let go of my routine at home and i was no longer exercising...i was back to my 65kg!
A few days ago, here i am months after leaving my last assignment and working from home, i took a look at my tummy and i didn't really like what i saw, looked like the onset of a bump, now that would be fantastic if i was pregnant but as my normal tummy, it's not really allowed so i started doing sit ups at home and hubby laughed at me asking me what happened to my plans to go to the gym. He reminded me of how he complimented me when i was going religiously and how i looked trim. I felt bad and took it as a challenge and i took the car keys, put on my trainers and off i went to they gym.
I hope i can keep it up...will maybe give you the details of the gym escapades later, though nothing interesting really there except for miss i'm sexy, i wear make up to the gym and i call the instructor every two minutes!
How many times have we started out on something that seems to be a very good plan, starting with a lot of zeal and passion and then weeks or months down the line, we get tired, or we meet some obstacles and we throw in the towel. Good intentions are never enough, what you do with the good intentions or what you keep doing with the good intentions is what matters. I'l throw this question to you, what will you do with what you know to do in the face of contrary circumstances? Would you just let go of your belief or would you press on and consistently do what you believe?
Anyway, enough about my gyming experience and philosophising...i'm working on a short story and want to give you guys a sneak peek into it, let's title it Escape...
Curtains open..reveal characters...
ESCAPE
I woke up to plan my escape from a prison, not a typical kind of jail but a prison all the same. My husband or whoever he is to me went on a music tour and didn’t take me along. He is a musician, and I joined him as a back up singer out of admiration. He took a special liking to me out of all his singers and I felt privileged. I was too naive to differentiate between love and lust or the desire of a man to acquire a woman as his personal belonging.
I come from a very conservative home. My father was a director in the civil service while my mother was a primary school teacher. They had great plans for me; I was going to the higher institution to study Economics or Accounting after which I would graduate and do them proud.
Ola came to Ilu tuntun, the small city where we lived, on a performance tour and the organisation that brought him to our city called for auditions of young talents. He had given them the mandate to do so. I went to audition without my parents’ knowledge. I was only seventeen but I was wiser than my parents or so I thought. I knew if they found out, they would be disappointed that I did not mention it to them but I was also sure that they would frown at the idea. I registered for the audition and began preparing myself for my debut performance. I had a dress I wanted to wear in mind; the one that mother bought for me last Christmas. Everyone complimented me when I wore it and all the young boys around my area wanted to court me.
I would lock the door, dress up, and sing in front of the mirror, trying to imitate the artists I so much admired and watched on the TV all the time. Most days I would watch them and imagine myself on the stage instead of them. I was enchanted. Mother never allowed me to watch them until I turned sixteen and finished my Secondary education.
I had a secret admiration for them and a few times when I attempted to tell Mother how I would love to be like them. She would shake her head and say 'Tope, you will not become a harlot, not while your father and I are alive. No child of mine will be a singer, God forbid!’ She would snap her fingers over her head in the usual Yoruba fashion.
I decided not to talk to her about it anymore. She was too old fashioned anyway and I was convinced all artists could not be women of easy virtue. Sikira, our house maid suffered for it though as I perpetually bore her with tales of how I would one day become a star and sing all over the world and how I would then tell my mother not all musicians were loose people..... (to be continued maybe..hehehe)
Friday, August 01, 2008
All I'll Ever Need- Point of Grace
I got tagged by Taureen minx, i take it to mean i was tagged because she tagged anyone that wants to do this. Lol, it’s fun, and i think i cheated on one, i don’t have to tell you which one o
MEME Rules
1. Put Your iTunes/ music player on Shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT!!!
After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme themselves!
Here we go
IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
Beautiful Saviour- Darlene Zcech
I let the saviour lead me...so things are ok
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Silent Night-Yolanda Adams
I don’t know how to interprete this jo!
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL
Be Without You- Mary J Blige
Erm ok, i cant be without the man in my life!
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
I Need You- Marc Anthony
I need the Lord, i need my hubby...erm yah
WHAT IS YOUR LIFES PURPOSE?
Breath of God- Point of Grace
My life’s purpose is for the breath of God to fill my life, every one of my moves and steps
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
See mi So- 2 Face
I'm sure they think that God has blessed me and blessed them with me! Hehehe...how conceited!
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
You Are My All in All- Point of Grace
My parents are my treasure...after God and hubby , they’re all in all...there was a point in my life that they were my all in all sef, like when i was a baby..lol
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN
Careless Whisper- Dave Coz
Loyalty to the people i love!
WHAT IS 2+2?
Gringo – Akon
I don’t even know the song o, 2+2 is 4 jare..or ..i don’t know
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BESTFRIEND?
Happy People- R Kelly.
When i think of my best friends, i am happy and thoughts of them sometimes...mark the word sometimes..want to make me dance..
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Promise of Prayers- Point of Grace
I always have my hubby covered, i’m sure he can count on me. I will always be a friend
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Nothing For You- Lagbaja
Before hubby, there was nothing for any of the guys that came my way
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
When U Cry- TOK
This song i don’t even know. Am i allowed to cheat and go to the next song. Yes i will, who made the rules sef? Oh ok, it’s saying Lord help me, when you cry i cry...i know the song o...Ok,,i want to be a pillar of support to people who are close to me, smiling when they smile and crying with them when they need me to. I want people to be able to look up to me. And i want the father to always help me
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
My heart is set on you- Point of Grace
Of course he knows my heart always belongs to him, no space for anyone else...no other love will do!
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Give Thanks- Don Moen
I think my parents will always give thanks when they remember me. And oh yes my name even testifies to that!
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
If Love Is A Crime- 2Face Idibia
I don’t know if this can be a wedding song, I definitely din’t dance to this on my wedding day but still everytime that i look into his eyes.....fill in the gap
WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Shout to the Lord- Darlene Zschech
Yes o there is none like the Lord, i will be with him so they can as well worship Him on my behalf after i have lived a good, godly and full life
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
More Love More Power- Michael W Smith
Hmmm i always want to show someone love anyways
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Promise- Darlene Zschech
My biggest secret...running into God arms when i think i have fallen out of grace, weeping my eyes out in His presence and telling Him to meet my needs
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Spirit- R Kelly
The Spirit leads us and brings us together...He guides us together
WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
All I’ll Ever Need- Point of Grace
Yes o God is all I’ll ever need!
I had a lot of fun doing this!
I’m not tagging anyone because i think almost everyone has done it! Except me of course!
A real post will follow this soon..feeling lazy at the moment and i think i am battling with flu...will soon go sleep my eyes out! Cheers
MEME Rules
1. Put Your iTunes/ music player on Shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT!!!
After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme themselves!
Here we go
IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
Beautiful Saviour- Darlene Zcech
I let the saviour lead me...so things are ok
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Silent Night-Yolanda Adams
I don’t know how to interprete this jo!
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL
Be Without You- Mary J Blige
Erm ok, i cant be without the man in my life!
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
I Need You- Marc Anthony
I need the Lord, i need my hubby...erm yah
WHAT IS YOUR LIFES PURPOSE?
Breath of God- Point of Grace
My life’s purpose is for the breath of God to fill my life, every one of my moves and steps
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
See mi So- 2 Face
I'm sure they think that God has blessed me and blessed them with me! Hehehe...how conceited!
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
You Are My All in All- Point of Grace
My parents are my treasure...after God and hubby , they’re all in all...there was a point in my life that they were my all in all sef, like when i was a baby..lol
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN
Careless Whisper- Dave Coz
Loyalty to the people i love!
WHAT IS 2+2?
Gringo – Akon
I don’t even know the song o, 2+2 is 4 jare..or ..i don’t know
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BESTFRIEND?
Happy People- R Kelly.
When i think of my best friends, i am happy and thoughts of them sometimes...mark the word sometimes..want to make me dance..
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Promise of Prayers- Point of Grace
I always have my hubby covered, i’m sure he can count on me. I will always be a friend
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Nothing For You- Lagbaja
Before hubby, there was nothing for any of the guys that came my way
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
When U Cry- TOK
This song i don’t even know. Am i allowed to cheat and go to the next song. Yes i will, who made the rules sef? Oh ok, it’s saying Lord help me, when you cry i cry...i know the song o...Ok,,i want to be a pillar of support to people who are close to me, smiling when they smile and crying with them when they need me to. I want people to be able to look up to me. And i want the father to always help me
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
My heart is set on you- Point of Grace
Of course he knows my heart always belongs to him, no space for anyone else...no other love will do!
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Give Thanks- Don Moen
I think my parents will always give thanks when they remember me. And oh yes my name even testifies to that!
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
If Love Is A Crime- 2Face Idibia
I don’t know if this can be a wedding song, I definitely din’t dance to this on my wedding day but still everytime that i look into his eyes.....fill in the gap
WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Shout to the Lord- Darlene Zschech
Yes o there is none like the Lord, i will be with him so they can as well worship Him on my behalf after i have lived a good, godly and full life
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
More Love More Power- Michael W Smith
Hmmm i always want to show someone love anyways
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Promise- Darlene Zschech
My biggest secret...running into God arms when i think i have fallen out of grace, weeping my eyes out in His presence and telling Him to meet my needs
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Spirit- R Kelly
The Spirit leads us and brings us together...He guides us together
WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
All I’ll Ever Need- Point of Grace
Yes o God is all I’ll ever need!
I had a lot of fun doing this!
I’m not tagging anyone because i think almost everyone has done it! Except me of course!
A real post will follow this soon..feeling lazy at the moment and i think i am battling with flu...will soon go sleep my eyes out! Cheers
Monday, July 21, 2008
Unwanted Attention!
She was going to meet her hubby for a night out, he was on the Island, they were going to see a movie, it was about 7pm, she was looking very good that evening after taking special care to make herself look beautiful that evening.
She waited for a cab, looked like most of them didn't want to go to the Island and she was beginning to wonder if she would find one, it looked like all the cab drivers had sworn off the Island. Then a brand new Honda drove past, the guy took a look, drove forward a bit and parked his car. Then he walked back towards her and said 'hey, how you doing?' She gave him a killer look then he said 'sorry i have seen your wedding ring, just admiring you', a cab came along and she walked off briskly to negogiate with the cab driver.
Some days later she was walking on her street, a few guys who looked like they were in their early twenties stood outside a boutique doing the usual jobless guy thingy, probably passing comments about any lady walking on the road. One walked towards her and sad hello, she raised her eyebrows and said hello with a question mark. He said 'i just...'She didn't let him finish, all the while she was walking, she turned back, gave him another look that said 'back off' and waslked off wondering what it was with her and these randon guys.
She got to the filling station where she was going to buy fuel and the filling station attendant was stepping to her. He said 'omoge bawo ni' (young lady, how're you?). 'This rubbish will not end', she thought, 'do i carry a mark on my head that says 'guys step to me'? She decided to pretend not to understand Yoruba. Some riff raffs, that's what she'll call them also atttempted to say hi and she pretended she could not hear them. Seething she carried her fuel and left the filling station. She has been negotiating with a cab guy in the station and the guys were trying to butt in, when the cab guy decided to go her way, the guys were shouting 'omoge, ma bo' (young lady,come back), She didn't turn back afterall at the moment, she didn't understand Yoruba. She walked to the junction with her keg of fuel and the cab driver came there to meet her.
A boy in the market grinding pepper was very rude. The pepper seller gave the pepper to him to grind for her and when she asked him for it, he told her 'lo gba nylon wa' (go and collect nylon for me). She wanted to be sure he was addressing her and she asked him. He shouted back and said 'en iwo ni mo n ba wi, se oo gbo ni'(i am talking you, yes, can't you hear me). She was so upset, she gave him a piece of her mind not minding she was in the market..'oo ri pe o baje, i de go, iwo alaileko omo yi, se mo jo egbe e ni' (You are very rude and have no training, do i look like your mate?). She stormed off and told the pepper seller to go and pick up the pepper or give her money back to her. The woman was very apologetic and all the women around apologised for the guy's obvious rudeness. She was still seething. Someone advised her to go and add some weight so she could look her weight or dress a in a more matured manner. What is wrong with wearing jeans and a nice top?
She has several other tales...she wonders if it's a commong thing with all ladies or is it that she just doesn't look her age. She is a young woman who is closer to 30 than 25...she just wonders..It is said to be a good thing though and she should be flattered that guys always look her way...maybe she's a little bit flattered...
And yes you guessed right, it's moi!I am a married woman- very happily so if i may add, guys back off!
She waited for a cab, looked like most of them didn't want to go to the Island and she was beginning to wonder if she would find one, it looked like all the cab drivers had sworn off the Island. Then a brand new Honda drove past, the guy took a look, drove forward a bit and parked his car. Then he walked back towards her and said 'hey, how you doing?' She gave him a killer look then he said 'sorry i have seen your wedding ring, just admiring you', a cab came along and she walked off briskly to negogiate with the cab driver.
Some days later she was walking on her street, a few guys who looked like they were in their early twenties stood outside a boutique doing the usual jobless guy thingy, probably passing comments about any lady walking on the road. One walked towards her and sad hello, she raised her eyebrows and said hello with a question mark. He said 'i just...'She didn't let him finish, all the while she was walking, she turned back, gave him another look that said 'back off' and waslked off wondering what it was with her and these randon guys.
She got to the filling station where she was going to buy fuel and the filling station attendant was stepping to her. He said 'omoge bawo ni' (young lady, how're you?). 'This rubbish will not end', she thought, 'do i carry a mark on my head that says 'guys step to me'? She decided to pretend not to understand Yoruba. Some riff raffs, that's what she'll call them also atttempted to say hi and she pretended she could not hear them. Seething she carried her fuel and left the filling station. She has been negotiating with a cab guy in the station and the guys were trying to butt in, when the cab guy decided to go her way, the guys were shouting 'omoge, ma bo' (young lady,come back), She didn't turn back afterall at the moment, she didn't understand Yoruba. She walked to the junction with her keg of fuel and the cab driver came there to meet her.
A boy in the market grinding pepper was very rude. The pepper seller gave the pepper to him to grind for her and when she asked him for it, he told her 'lo gba nylon wa' (go and collect nylon for me). She wanted to be sure he was addressing her and she asked him. He shouted back and said 'en iwo ni mo n ba wi, se oo gbo ni'(i am talking you, yes, can't you hear me). She was so upset, she gave him a piece of her mind not minding she was in the market..'oo ri pe o baje, i de go, iwo alaileko omo yi, se mo jo egbe e ni' (You are very rude and have no training, do i look like your mate?). She stormed off and told the pepper seller to go and pick up the pepper or give her money back to her. The woman was very apologetic and all the women around apologised for the guy's obvious rudeness. She was still seething. Someone advised her to go and add some weight so she could look her weight or dress a in a more matured manner. What is wrong with wearing jeans and a nice top?
She has several other tales...she wonders if it's a commong thing with all ladies or is it that she just doesn't look her age. She is a young woman who is closer to 30 than 25...she just wonders..It is said to be a good thing though and she should be flattered that guys always look her way...maybe she's a little bit flattered...
And yes you guessed right, it's moi!I am a married woman- very happily so if i may add, guys back off!
Monday, July 14, 2008
9JA Parties & Money Spraying
I don't really like attending parties but had to attend two this weekend. I just don't like sitting down at a party and eating and drinking, seems like a waste of time to me…I guess that's strange for a Nigerian. Naija!!! We love parties!!! Every opportunity to get together and make merry and wine and dine is welcome. It's not like I don't attend parties but I just want to make sure it's important I am there...I guess they can be time wasters! But sa, I still love the way people party, have fun and laugh...we have a rich culture i must say! Anyway my digression is too much. The post is not about me and whether I like parties or not...who am i out of at least 50 million Nigerians who love to party! Lol
So a friend of mine from Uni days got married this last weekend and I went to perform my friendly duty. Thursday was the engagement; I drove over two hours to get there...thanks to the useless traffic in Lagos. They were just starting when I got there and I could see a live band already set up. It reminded me of my own wedding, we had a live band too and the guy just wouldn't stop playing even after the engagement had long finished and all the dancing groups had left the dance floor. The guy was out for blood...lo...he had to make money from spraying!
That brings me to my point...i thought the Federal Government had banned the spraying of money at parties! This weekend changed my mind though and made me wonder if we can ever lose this culture that is so ingrained in our system! It's like a part of our make up...you think parties, you think lots of food and drinks, dancing, you think spraying the celebrant money...and so on.
So I went for my friend's wedding on Saturday and it was time for the couple to dance, a lot of people had been abiding by the rule not to spray money at parties or so I thought and assumed it would be the same here. I didn't go with mint...lol
Some people had improvised at other parties I attended where they placed a tray in front of the dancing couple or celebrant for the money to be dropped but to tell you the truth, that doesn't have the feel of spraying money at least to me. So here we were at my firend's wedding and people were spraying money, no one was stopping them! And me sef i went and sprayed some money...lol...(got someone to change money for me)
Yesterday also, my neighbour (Mrs Neighbour) was celebrating the birth of her son...this son was born almost 3 months ago o! You see when I say any opportunity to have a party is welcome in Naija..she invited hubby and I, We really didn't want to go but she made a big point of it and even her husband invited us. They started like 4 pm and from our flat, we could hear the loud music being played, she lives opposite my house o...anyway, we went there like past 7pm and stayed for about 30 minutes. Aproko that we are, we were wondering like how much money they would have spent...there were beer and wine bottles on all the tables, people were still drinking, they had Asun (barbeque goat...hope i'm right..lol)...in short enough to eat.
Mrs Neighbour and a few of her friends were dancing to an Obey record when we got there..and yes, they were spraying money!!! And no, you're wrong; I didn't get up to spray this time. Me and hubby even looked like misfits there with everyone dressed in native attires and us wearing jeans and Tshirts and not taking any of the drinks offered except water and juice. Sure they thought we were aliens...hehehe
Anyway, so they were spraying money and it made me wonder if the law would ever hold water in Naija! Or if it will go like the way of most policies that are implemented for a short while and soon after they're forgotten.
What do you thing guys, can we ever stop spraying money at our parties? Is it a good law or is it unimportant? Does spraying money mean we don't value our currency??? I really don't know where I stand, to be honest...but I can live with any!
I have a testimony, PHCN has finally decided to give us a routine and for the past one and half weeks, we have power supply between 12 midnight and 12 noon...praise the Lord!
Have a great week y'all!
So a friend of mine from Uni days got married this last weekend and I went to perform my friendly duty. Thursday was the engagement; I drove over two hours to get there...thanks to the useless traffic in Lagos. They were just starting when I got there and I could see a live band already set up. It reminded me of my own wedding, we had a live band too and the guy just wouldn't stop playing even after the engagement had long finished and all the dancing groups had left the dance floor. The guy was out for blood...lo...he had to make money from spraying!
That brings me to my point...i thought the Federal Government had banned the spraying of money at parties! This weekend changed my mind though and made me wonder if we can ever lose this culture that is so ingrained in our system! It's like a part of our make up...you think parties, you think lots of food and drinks, dancing, you think spraying the celebrant money...and so on.
So I went for my friend's wedding on Saturday and it was time for the couple to dance, a lot of people had been abiding by the rule not to spray money at parties or so I thought and assumed it would be the same here. I didn't go with mint...lol
Some people had improvised at other parties I attended where they placed a tray in front of the dancing couple or celebrant for the money to be dropped but to tell you the truth, that doesn't have the feel of spraying money at least to me. So here we were at my firend's wedding and people were spraying money, no one was stopping them! And me sef i went and sprayed some money...lol...(got someone to change money for me)
Yesterday also, my neighbour (Mrs Neighbour) was celebrating the birth of her son...this son was born almost 3 months ago o! You see when I say any opportunity to have a party is welcome in Naija..she invited hubby and I, We really didn't want to go but she made a big point of it and even her husband invited us. They started like 4 pm and from our flat, we could hear the loud music being played, she lives opposite my house o...anyway, we went there like past 7pm and stayed for about 30 minutes. Aproko that we are, we were wondering like how much money they would have spent...there were beer and wine bottles on all the tables, people were still drinking, they had Asun (barbeque goat...hope i'm right..lol)...in short enough to eat.
Mrs Neighbour and a few of her friends were dancing to an Obey record when we got there..and yes, they were spraying money!!! And no, you're wrong; I didn't get up to spray this time. Me and hubby even looked like misfits there with everyone dressed in native attires and us wearing jeans and Tshirts and not taking any of the drinks offered except water and juice. Sure they thought we were aliens...hehehe
Anyway, so they were spraying money and it made me wonder if the law would ever hold water in Naija! Or if it will go like the way of most policies that are implemented for a short while and soon after they're forgotten.
What do you thing guys, can we ever stop spraying money at our parties? Is it a good law or is it unimportant? Does spraying money mean we don't value our currency??? I really don't know where I stand, to be honest...but I can live with any!
I have a testimony, PHCN has finally decided to give us a routine and for the past one and half weeks, we have power supply between 12 midnight and 12 noon...praise the Lord!
Have a great week y'all!
Sunday, July 06, 2008
Nephew's Antics!
My sister in law has a 20 month old son and i love him to bits! He's my pal (as most kids are) and i have taught him a lot of antics but the boy is getting beyond me o...help! I have Yahoozee on my phone and sometimes play it for him, now when he sees me, he brings the phone to me and says ''Yahoo'' so i play it for him and believe me, the boy knows a few of the yahoozee steps...sometimes i wonder, have i been a good influence? lol. He knows how to peck when you say give me a peck, he holds your neck and gives you one on both cheeks, he's adorable when he does it! He knows how to chop knuckle and high five...and he sometimes tranlates some of his words into yoruba language, incase you didn't hear him in English.
For example
Nephew: Jimme gasses (meaning Give me glasses). He loves wearing glasses, he's fascinated with them. When i am wearing fashion glasses i can allow him but not my prescription ones
Me: What? (Pretending not to know what he has said)
Nephew: Jimme gasses
Me: No
Nephew: (Now raising his voice) Funmi gasses..
I just burst out laughing because i didn't expect him to get so creative and no he didn't get the glasses...lol
He knows where to take off the TV if you're watching something he doesn't want. He takes it off, stands triumphant in front of the TV and shouts Bayin! (Barney). The first time i saw him do it, i was amazed...now he just shouts Bayin all over the house, i wonder what is with kids and that Barney sef!
He has taken to sometimes calling his mum 'Honey' because his father calls her that...lol
For a long time, my husband and i had the same name to him, he just decided one day to call us both the same name and i had to answer by force, now when i see him, he calls Aunty like 50 times, thank God for school in his life...
Now to what baffles me, a few days ago...since i work from home now and he had an eye accident at home, i said his mum should send him over instead of sending him to the school with his black eye...so he came over to my house and spent the whole day. I was dressing up, then he came into the room, i didn't see any need to send him out...then he looked at me and said ''See your best (breast)''. I was so shocked i asked what he said and he raised his voice this time and shouted ''See your byest''. How can a twenty month old say something like that??? I promptly sent him out of the room and found him a toy in the living room. God have mercy!
A few weeks ago, his mum had mentioned that he was begging her for byest as she fed his sister. He demanded water and when they brought it, he shook his head and pointed to her chest as she breast fed the baby. She told him no, it's for baby and the next thing he was saying ''pyis, jimme some''...she refused but i guess his fasination with breasts started sometime around then...
So when i read a blog last week and the topic was whether to bath with our kids, i say NO, i shall not be bathing with my kids, thank you! These days they say amazing things!!!
Do you have any kids antics? Please share! Lol
For example
Nephew: Jimme gasses (meaning Give me glasses). He loves wearing glasses, he's fascinated with them. When i am wearing fashion glasses i can allow him but not my prescription ones
Me: What? (Pretending not to know what he has said)
Nephew: Jimme gasses
Me: No
Nephew: (Now raising his voice) Funmi gasses..
I just burst out laughing because i didn't expect him to get so creative and no he didn't get the glasses...lol
He knows where to take off the TV if you're watching something he doesn't want. He takes it off, stands triumphant in front of the TV and shouts Bayin! (Barney). The first time i saw him do it, i was amazed...now he just shouts Bayin all over the house, i wonder what is with kids and that Barney sef!
He has taken to sometimes calling his mum 'Honey' because his father calls her that...lol
For a long time, my husband and i had the same name to him, he just decided one day to call us both the same name and i had to answer by force, now when i see him, he calls Aunty like 50 times, thank God for school in his life...
Now to what baffles me, a few days ago...since i work from home now and he had an eye accident at home, i said his mum should send him over instead of sending him to the school with his black eye...so he came over to my house and spent the whole day. I was dressing up, then he came into the room, i didn't see any need to send him out...then he looked at me and said ''See your best (breast)''. I was so shocked i asked what he said and he raised his voice this time and shouted ''See your byest''. How can a twenty month old say something like that??? I promptly sent him out of the room and found him a toy in the living room. God have mercy!
A few weeks ago, his mum had mentioned that he was begging her for byest as she fed his sister. He demanded water and when they brought it, he shook his head and pointed to her chest as she breast fed the baby. She told him no, it's for baby and the next thing he was saying ''pyis, jimme some''...she refused but i guess his fasination with breasts started sometime around then...
So when i read a blog last week and the topic was whether to bath with our kids, i say NO, i shall not be bathing with my kids, thank you! These days they say amazing things!!!
Do you have any kids antics? Please share! Lol
Thursday, June 19, 2008
He loves me even as I'm a year older!!!
Recently i got discouraged, disappointed and depressed about some things that have happened in my life (some i might share later) and i was wondering if God really loved me but when i sat down and thought about a few events that took place also, i can't doubt that He loves me. And don't i always say He never promised us a trouble free life? He just said he will be with us even in the fire...it means the fire might come!
These two events remind me of God's love for me and i want to share them...
Several weeks back, i was driving from Victoria Island through Kingsway road in Ikoyi and was going to pick hubby up from work. There was a bit of traffic, i was giving a colleague of mine a lift...we were the last in line, picture all these things as i say them. The car had given me some signs i didn't like earlier so i decided to wind down. I was feeling very good, chic driving a nice car, chatting with colleague listening to music...it was getting dark, like i said we were the last in line....traffic stopped moving, the street light was red for us...next thing, i saw a hand stretch into the car and my first thought was this beggar is very brave sa!
Then he was saying something,my music was too loud, i couldn't hear him, then i heard ...''sisters, your phone, now!''...
I thought oh am i being robbed, silly i know, wasn't it obvious i was going to be robbed. When i got my present phone, a Nokia N73 music edition, (i had just had a Nokia N73 that was my birthday gift last year stolen from me in less than a month that he gave me...so this one was a replacement), i prayed over it and told God this one must not be stolen....why should i keep losing things when i pay my tithe...it's worked because on several occasions i'd have lost it but i digress. It was in my pocket, usually i would put it in the cup holder but as i was leaving the office, i had the urge to put it in my pocket which i obeyed...it wasn't in view...one problem though, my colleague was holding hers and was too frozen to do anything...the robber was right beside her! It was dark, the phone was black so i guess he didn't really see.
My brain switched into action mode and i quickly did the central lock waiting for my opportunity to do wind up...thank God for automatics these days...well he found me out so he said..''don't do anything funny, this is acid...'', he pushed a bottle forward.. ''and i've got a gun''..., he showed us. Who wants to find out if it's real acid or a toy gun...I was muttering Jesus and was determined not to give him my phone...risky i know! But i felt very bold at the time...
My handbag was on the backseat so i told him, 'you'll have to hold on, my bag is at the back and it has my phone in it. I'm driving so i can't reach for the bag, i'll need to pack to give it to you''...I was waiting for my opportunity, my hand was on the window control, i saw his hand move from my window to adjust something on him and i quickly wound up...wow, one hurdle crossed, he was going to pound on the window or something...and right in front of me, i saw the traffic move, that very minute!
I pressed on the accelerator and the car refused to move, guess it was my panic, my colleague shouted ''move the car'' and i shouted back ''i am trying to move''...Well the car accelerated and i sped like i haven't done before, taking the next available turn...it was then my brain realised what had just happened and i was shaking...I immediately placed a call to hubby and told him...''i just acted in a home video...and was saved miraculously''. He was probably more shaken than i was...lol
I've heard of people being robbed in traffic, it was my first experience, and God saved me. I'll never be robbed!!! God loves me
The second incident was last week, i'd just gotten some unexpected news, seemed like bad news at the time and hubby came to pick me from work...i needed to get to the publishers so he dropped off in his office and gave me the car. It was a bit of a stretch from Ikoyi to Onika..the car acted funny twice like it was going to stop but continued moving and i was wondering what could be wrong. It was only serviced a few days before then...i was now on Awolowo road, then i got almost to the end and it stopped.
A Total filling station was just a few metres ahead...then i remembered the fuel guage wasn't working...we usually fill it up once a week over the weekend..i called hubby to find out if he filled the tank over the weekend...it was a tuesday and he said oh no, he forgot. So i thought, it must be fuel and right in front of me was a filling station. How would i get the fuel? Some guy selling stuff along the road waslked up to me, found a jerry can, took money and went to buy the fuel, got a funnel and filled the car. I started it and my suspicion was confirmed, it was fuel!
I asked myself loads of questions...what if the car had stopped very far away from a fillign station? It could have, it had given me the signs but God worked it out in my favour...
Oh i said two things but i shouldn't forget to add that it was my birthday on Tuesday the 17th, i'm glad He added another year to my life. Unlike most of my birthdays, this one was mostly quiet till the evening when hubby and i with a few family members went for dinner at a Chinese restaurant..i got a nice set of Swarovski jewellery from him and a new frame for my glasses! yippee! Thank you Lord for keeping me!
We might feel unloved by God, circumstances might seem not to be in our favour but when we look deep enough, we find reasons to be joyful and thankful...
He loves me and He loves you!
These two events remind me of God's love for me and i want to share them...
Several weeks back, i was driving from Victoria Island through Kingsway road in Ikoyi and was going to pick hubby up from work. There was a bit of traffic, i was giving a colleague of mine a lift...we were the last in line, picture all these things as i say them. The car had given me some signs i didn't like earlier so i decided to wind down. I was feeling very good, chic driving a nice car, chatting with colleague listening to music...it was getting dark, like i said we were the last in line....traffic stopped moving, the street light was red for us...next thing, i saw a hand stretch into the car and my first thought was this beggar is very brave sa!
Then he was saying something,my music was too loud, i couldn't hear him, then i heard ...''sisters, your phone, now!''...
I thought oh am i being robbed, silly i know, wasn't it obvious i was going to be robbed. When i got my present phone, a Nokia N73 music edition, (i had just had a Nokia N73 that was my birthday gift last year stolen from me in less than a month that he gave me...so this one was a replacement), i prayed over it and told God this one must not be stolen....why should i keep losing things when i pay my tithe...it's worked because on several occasions i'd have lost it but i digress. It was in my pocket, usually i would put it in the cup holder but as i was leaving the office, i had the urge to put it in my pocket which i obeyed...it wasn't in view...one problem though, my colleague was holding hers and was too frozen to do anything...the robber was right beside her! It was dark, the phone was black so i guess he didn't really see.
My brain switched into action mode and i quickly did the central lock waiting for my opportunity to do wind up...thank God for automatics these days...well he found me out so he said..''don't do anything funny, this is acid...'', he pushed a bottle forward.. ''and i've got a gun''..., he showed us. Who wants to find out if it's real acid or a toy gun...I was muttering Jesus and was determined not to give him my phone...risky i know! But i felt very bold at the time...
My handbag was on the backseat so i told him, 'you'll have to hold on, my bag is at the back and it has my phone in it. I'm driving so i can't reach for the bag, i'll need to pack to give it to you''...I was waiting for my opportunity, my hand was on the window control, i saw his hand move from my window to adjust something on him and i quickly wound up...wow, one hurdle crossed, he was going to pound on the window or something...and right in front of me, i saw the traffic move, that very minute!
I pressed on the accelerator and the car refused to move, guess it was my panic, my colleague shouted ''move the car'' and i shouted back ''i am trying to move''...Well the car accelerated and i sped like i haven't done before, taking the next available turn...it was then my brain realised what had just happened and i was shaking...I immediately placed a call to hubby and told him...''i just acted in a home video...and was saved miraculously''. He was probably more shaken than i was...lol
I've heard of people being robbed in traffic, it was my first experience, and God saved me. I'll never be robbed!!! God loves me
The second incident was last week, i'd just gotten some unexpected news, seemed like bad news at the time and hubby came to pick me from work...i needed to get to the publishers so he dropped off in his office and gave me the car. It was a bit of a stretch from Ikoyi to Onika..the car acted funny twice like it was going to stop but continued moving and i was wondering what could be wrong. It was only serviced a few days before then...i was now on Awolowo road, then i got almost to the end and it stopped.
A Total filling station was just a few metres ahead...then i remembered the fuel guage wasn't working...we usually fill it up once a week over the weekend..i called hubby to find out if he filled the tank over the weekend...it was a tuesday and he said oh no, he forgot. So i thought, it must be fuel and right in front of me was a filling station. How would i get the fuel? Some guy selling stuff along the road waslked up to me, found a jerry can, took money and went to buy the fuel, got a funnel and filled the car. I started it and my suspicion was confirmed, it was fuel!
I asked myself loads of questions...what if the car had stopped very far away from a fillign station? It could have, it had given me the signs but God worked it out in my favour...
Oh i said two things but i shouldn't forget to add that it was my birthday on Tuesday the 17th, i'm glad He added another year to my life. Unlike most of my birthdays, this one was mostly quiet till the evening when hubby and i with a few family members went for dinner at a Chinese restaurant..i got a nice set of Swarovski jewellery from him and a new frame for my glasses! yippee! Thank you Lord for keeping me!
We might feel unloved by God, circumstances might seem not to be in our favour but when we look deep enough, we find reasons to be joyful and thankful...
He loves me and He loves you!
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Quirky Stuff About Me + Quick Update!
I got tagged ages ago by aloted and sagacite but i've been too busy to update my blog...
The rules are:
1. Link the person who tagged you to this post
2. Mention the rules in your blog
3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged
This meme is about any particular mannerism you have, ok?
I did something a while back like this, hope i can still find six things i haven't said...how quirky can a human being get?
1. I tend to forget things everywhere i go. It's so bad that when something is out of place in the office, like a glass of water by the workstation, someone is calling my name. Last week i left my phone in a cab, i got it back though...
2. My first real boyfriend is my husband...(is that quirky?) and he was the one that taught me to kiss...OMG, did i just say that?
3. I would rather write my deepest feelings than say them. I write better than i speak. When hubby and i first started dating, i would write him letters to say how i felt. I just could not bring myself to say i love you in words or tell my friends how much i mean to them. I could write two full pages though...is that weird? Think i've outgrown that a bit but i think i still write better than i speak. Reminds me of an issue i had to thrash with someone at work, so i could express myself well, i had to send an email...lol
4. I have very very few friends but loads of acquaintances...I choose my friends like you would choose a lover..maybe i don't choose but we have to have a deep connection..like a spark..am i weird?
5. I don't drink coffee anymore...i cannot stand the smell.I used to like it but now even the smell makes my stomach churn...i move away once i see you holding a cup of coffee
6. I hate taking orders from anyone! Is that a problem? I'd rather just do my own thing...
Ok i think i have tried with the quirky stuff, though i wonder if they're really quirky..i am tagging favoured girl..everyone else seems to have done this!
On Me..
I have been so busy recently i have not even been able to do my blog rounds..TV production is a lot of work! But it's fun all the same..I finally finished my episodes and i had my first baptism into the world of being a producer...already thinking of greater things...open my eyes oh Lord!
It's my birth month, my birthday is in less than two weeks and i'm wondering how it'll be this year...second one as a Mrs..hubby made sure i enjoyed the last one, see my post on my last brithday here
Now that i'm taking my writing more seriously, doors are starting to open...there's so much to do, so much i can do...it brings me to the conclusion...i am a writer at heart and for real!
Will try to stay here more often, thanks for looking for me aijay and afrobabe...I'm here!
The rules are:
1. Link the person who tagged you to this post
2. Mention the rules in your blog
3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged
This meme is about any particular mannerism you have, ok?
I did something a while back like this, hope i can still find six things i haven't said...how quirky can a human being get?
1. I tend to forget things everywhere i go. It's so bad that when something is out of place in the office, like a glass of water by the workstation, someone is calling my name. Last week i left my phone in a cab, i got it back though...
2. My first real boyfriend is my husband...(is that quirky?) and he was the one that taught me to kiss...OMG, did i just say that?
3. I would rather write my deepest feelings than say them. I write better than i speak. When hubby and i first started dating, i would write him letters to say how i felt. I just could not bring myself to say i love you in words or tell my friends how much i mean to them. I could write two full pages though...is that weird? Think i've outgrown that a bit but i think i still write better than i speak. Reminds me of an issue i had to thrash with someone at work, so i could express myself well, i had to send an email...lol
4. I have very very few friends but loads of acquaintances...I choose my friends like you would choose a lover..maybe i don't choose but we have to have a deep connection..like a spark..am i weird?
5. I don't drink coffee anymore...i cannot stand the smell.I used to like it but now even the smell makes my stomach churn...i move away once i see you holding a cup of coffee
6. I hate taking orders from anyone! Is that a problem? I'd rather just do my own thing...
Ok i think i have tried with the quirky stuff, though i wonder if they're really quirky..i am tagging favoured girl..everyone else seems to have done this!
On Me..
I have been so busy recently i have not even been able to do my blog rounds..TV production is a lot of work! But it's fun all the same..I finally finished my episodes and i had my first baptism into the world of being a producer...already thinking of greater things...open my eyes oh Lord!
It's my birth month, my birthday is in less than two weeks and i'm wondering how it'll be this year...second one as a Mrs..hubby made sure i enjoyed the last one, see my post on my last brithday here
Now that i'm taking my writing more seriously, doors are starting to open...there's so much to do, so much i can do...it brings me to the conclusion...i am a writer at heart and for real!
Will try to stay here more often, thanks for looking for me aijay and afrobabe...I'm here!
Friday, May 02, 2008
Mrs Neighbour and other Women!
So i was having a discussion with a few of my colleagues today and someone out of the blues asked a question; if your hubby happened to have a mistress, how would you deal with it? I was the only married person around, so i took it personal...lol...i said my hubby cannot have a mistress, so i cannot come up with how i would react...she goes what if? I said no, there is no what if! And i am right, hubby is God fearing, never been randy and more importantly, i pray for God to keep him and He does! I know he won't!
Anyway, i digress, the gist is not really about hubby and i...apparently my colleague was reading some stuff online and most women responded that it is not a new thing for their men to cheat and so long as they have their place, it's OK.
We went on to discuss how it is actually more of a norm for women to think that way and that the women who think their men would not cheat or do not have a right to cheat are in a minority like me! Ladies, what do you think? Then i go back memory lane, i was in 200 level in OAU and my roommates are having a discussion and they come up with one conclusion,
So fast forward to eight years, i meet a neighbour at a salon, we never knew we were neighbours (not like next door, her house is adjacent mine)...you know how conversations go in salons, so we got talking! For the purpose of this post and subsequent ones if i get to do them, i shall call her Mrs neighbour. My own thought was God have mercy, this woman can talk. In the one hour we spent together, i could summarise her love life story! She had been married to a young guy and somehow they had family interference and after their first kid, they got a divorce. She is now married to a much older man who was a divorcee...and although she's had some issues with the family, everything is ok and she is even pregnant with their first child together...Congratulations! lol
So we walked to our street together, actually that's how we knew we were neighbours and we exchanged numbers after we found out we were even from the same state...maybe i shouldn't have but for now, I'll save that gist...so we start to keep in touch once in a while, me mainly by text messages. She made the first move to visit me...will save that gist too for now, cos i am digressing too much now! Mrs neighbour starts talking about different things and i only nod or laugh and she mentions she knows her husband has girlfriends but that once they don't come near her house, and her position is secure, she has no problem with it. She goes on to mention a few of her friends who know about their husbands' affairs and how they don't seem to mind...She mentioned a few who reacted and how things turned out badly.
By now, i was telling myself, writefreak, what have you gotten yourself into? Who is this woman? Yours truly just sat down there smiling a foolish smile and thinking, this woman and i are worlds apart.
So i got myself a friend who thinks it's ok, her husband can cheat on her so long as she has her place in his home, she has friends who believe the same thing, she is married to a man who can almost be my father, the list continues...and i am trying my best to keep her at bay and get her off my back...
Guess i will continue with Mrs Neighbour part 2. Will love to hear what you have to say. Do you think it's right for a lady to expect her hubby/man to cheat on her? Do men have to beat women to earn respect? It annoys me even as i type the question!
Anyway, i digress, the gist is not really about hubby and i...apparently my colleague was reading some stuff online and most women responded that it is not a new thing for their men to cheat and so long as they have their place, it's OK.
We went on to discuss how it is actually more of a norm for women to think that way and that the women who think their men would not cheat or do not have a right to cheat are in a minority like me! Ladies, what do you think? Then i go back memory lane, i was in 200 level in OAU and my roommates are having a discussion and they come up with one conclusion,
their husbands have to slap them around at least once so they can respect him!I was in the minority, i was like what? God forbid, if a man slaps me, i would find it hard to get over it. In fact i thought what would i have to do for the guy to get to that point?? Haba! I digress again but my point is actually that it buttresses to me that some women actually have this mindset...
So fast forward to eight years, i meet a neighbour at a salon, we never knew we were neighbours (not like next door, her house is adjacent mine)...you know how conversations go in salons, so we got talking! For the purpose of this post and subsequent ones if i get to do them, i shall call her Mrs neighbour. My own thought was God have mercy, this woman can talk. In the one hour we spent together, i could summarise her love life story! She had been married to a young guy and somehow they had family interference and after their first kid, they got a divorce. She is now married to a much older man who was a divorcee...and although she's had some issues with the family, everything is ok and she is even pregnant with their first child together...Congratulations! lol
So we walked to our street together, actually that's how we knew we were neighbours and we exchanged numbers after we found out we were even from the same state...maybe i shouldn't have but for now, I'll save that gist...so we start to keep in touch once in a while, me mainly by text messages. She made the first move to visit me...will save that gist too for now, cos i am digressing too much now! Mrs neighbour starts talking about different things and i only nod or laugh and she mentions she knows her husband has girlfriends but that once they don't come near her house, and her position is secure, she has no problem with it. She goes on to mention a few of her friends who know about their husbands' affairs and how they don't seem to mind...She mentioned a few who reacted and how things turned out badly.
By now, i was telling myself, writefreak, what have you gotten yourself into? Who is this woman? Yours truly just sat down there smiling a foolish smile and thinking, this woman and i are worlds apart.
So i got myself a friend who thinks it's ok, her husband can cheat on her so long as she has her place in his home, she has friends who believe the same thing, she is married to a man who can almost be my father, the list continues...and i am trying my best to keep her at bay and get her off my back...
Guess i will continue with Mrs Neighbour part 2. Will love to hear what you have to say. Do you think it's right for a lady to expect her hubby/man to cheat on her? Do men have to beat women to earn respect? It annoys me even as i type the question!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Wanted!
Hi people, do you know any lady who has helped another lady achieve something great, maybe to start a business, go to school or was there for the person in a trying time, i need examples of such people as i am working on something that is meant to showcase ladies who have been there for each other
Also do you know anyone who used to be a member of Reverend Kings' church and has now left? I am working on a feature on him and i need such people to be interviewed...
Do you know anyone who has a very good relationship with their father...a daughter or son, a relationship that is a model one, it could be a biological or foster father, also need such people for a feature i am working on
Good people, i hope to hear from you soon...
Please note that these people should be resident in Nigeria so it would be easy to get through to them.
Thank you
Also do you know anyone who used to be a member of Reverend Kings' church and has now left? I am working on a feature on him and i need such people to be interviewed...
Do you know anyone who has a very good relationship with their father...a daughter or son, a relationship that is a model one, it could be a biological or foster father, also need such people for a feature i am working on
Good people, i hope to hear from you soon...
Please note that these people should be resident in Nigeria so it would be easy to get through to them.
Thank you
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Right Direction!
Oh my it's been almost a month since i updated! Men i have been so busy, just three weeks after i did my last post, i got a call to attend an interview, i applied to be a writer somewhere...it's amazing how you see opportunities when you decide to! I had always told myself there were limited writing roles...until i decided i was going to do things in line with my gift!
So i went for the interview, and like 25 people were there, i was shocked because i didn't expect that many people! Well i knew i could do it! Lemme not bore you with the details, i was eventually 5 out of the 25 people that made the list! To think i wasn't considering a job anymore, infact i had to think hard about it! But it was an opportunity in the very right direction, i get to write and some good exposure to TV...might give the job details later, for now, let's leave it at that.
Truth is the money isn't the motivation, infact, if that was it then i shouldn't have taken the job but to tell you the truth, i have decided money does not necessarily have to come from work, there are different ways of making money, i love my new job and i am so enjoying it! And i am meeting loads of people! It's fun.
On the book side, i have sent it to some publishers and i am getting some feedbac, not bad ones, i'm praying it is accepted! So join me in praying for a quick acceptance...that book's gotta be published real soon!
God has been good to me, there are still things i am believing Him for, of course we always have to believe, and i know He will do exceedingly abundantly more than i could ever ask or think in His time! What do you think guys maybe i should write something on God's time....
Hope not to stay away too long this time...just been very very busy!
So i went for the interview, and like 25 people were there, i was shocked because i didn't expect that many people! Well i knew i could do it! Lemme not bore you with the details, i was eventually 5 out of the 25 people that made the list! To think i wasn't considering a job anymore, infact i had to think hard about it! But it was an opportunity in the very right direction, i get to write and some good exposure to TV...might give the job details later, for now, let's leave it at that.
Truth is the money isn't the motivation, infact, if that was it then i shouldn't have taken the job but to tell you the truth, i have decided money does not necessarily have to come from work, there are different ways of making money, i love my new job and i am so enjoying it! And i am meeting loads of people! It's fun.
On the book side, i have sent it to some publishers and i am getting some feedbac, not bad ones, i'm praying it is accepted! So join me in praying for a quick acceptance...that book's gotta be published real soon!
God has been good to me, there are still things i am believing Him for, of course we always have to believe, and i know He will do exceedingly abundantly more than i could ever ask or think in His time! What do you think guys maybe i should write something on God's time....
Hope not to stay away too long this time...just been very very busy!
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