Quirky Stuff About Me + Quick Update!

I got tagged ages ago by aloted and sagacite but i've been too busy to update my blog...

The rules are:
1. Link the person who tagged you to this post
2. Mention the rules in your blog
3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged

This meme is about any particular mannerism you have, ok?

I did something a while back like this, hope i can still find six things i haven't said...how quirky can a human being get?

1. I tend to forget things everywhere i go. It's so bad that when something is out of place in the office, like a glass of water by the workstation, someone is calling my name. Last week i left my phone in a cab, i got it back though...

2. My first real boyfriend is my husband...(is that quirky?) and he was the one that taught me to kiss...OMG, did i just say that?

3. I would rather write my deepest feelings than say them. I write better than i speak. When hubby and i first started dating, i would write him letters to say how i felt. I just could not bring myself to say i love you in words or tell my friends how much i mean to them. I could write two full pages though...is that weird? Think i've outgrown that a bit but i think i still write better than i speak. Reminds me of an issue i had to thrash with someone at work, so i could express myself well, i had to send an email...lol

4. I have very very few friends but loads of acquaintances...I choose my friends like you would choose a lover..maybe i don't choose but we have to have a deep connection..like a spark..am i weird?

5. I don't drink coffee anymore...i cannot stand the smell.I used to like it but now even the smell makes my stomach churn...i move away once i see you holding a cup of coffee

6. I hate taking orders from anyone! Is that a problem? I'd rather just do my own thing...

Ok i think i have tried with the quirky stuff, though i wonder if they're really quirky..i am tagging favoured girl..everyone else seems to have done this!

On Me..

I have been so busy recently i have not even been able to do my blog rounds..TV production is a lot of work! But it's fun all the same..I finally finished my episodes and i had my first baptism into the world of being a producer...already thinking of greater things...open my eyes oh Lord!

It's my birth month, my birthday is in less than two weeks and i'm wondering how it'll be this year...second one as a Mrs..hubby made sure i enjoyed the last one, see my post on my last brithday here

Now that i'm taking my writing more seriously, doors are starting to open...there's so much to do, so much i can do...it brings me to the conclusion...i am a writer at heart and for real!

Will try to stay here more often, thanks for looking for me aijay and afrobabe...I'm here!

Mrs Neighbour and other Women!

So i was having a discussion with a few of my colleagues today and someone out of the blues asked a question; if your hubby happened to have a mistress, how would you deal with it? I was the only married person around, so i took it personal...lol...i said my hubby cannot have a mistress, so i cannot come up with how i would react...she goes what if? I said no, there is no what if! And i am right, hubby is God fearing, never been randy and more importantly, i pray for God to keep him and He does! I know he won't!

Anyway, i digress, the gist is not really about hubby and i...apparently my colleague was reading some stuff online and most women responded that it is not a new thing for their men to cheat and so long as they have their place, it's OK.

We went on to discuss how it is actually more of a norm for women to think that way and that the women who think their men would not cheat or do not have a right to cheat are in a minority like me! Ladies, what do you think? Then i go back memory lane, i was in 200 level in OAU and my roommates are having a discussion and they come up with one conclusion,

their husbands have to slap them around at least once so they can respect him!

I was in the minority, i was like what? God forbid, if a man slaps me, i would find it hard to get over it. In fact i thought what would i have to do for the guy to get to that point?? Haba! I digress again but my point is actually that it buttresses to me that some women actually have this mindset...

So fast forward to eight years, i meet a neighbour at a salon, we never knew we were neighbours (not like next door, her house is adjacent mine)...you know how conversations go in salons, so we got talking! For the purpose of this post and subsequent ones if i get to do them, i shall call her Mrs neighbour. My own thought was God have mercy, this woman can talk. In the one hour we spent together, i could summarise her love life story! She had been married to a young guy and somehow they had family interference and after their first kid, they got a divorce. She is now married to a much older man who was a divorcee...and although she's had some issues with the family, everything is ok and she is even pregnant with their first child together...Congratulations! lol

So we walked to our street together, actually that's how we knew we were neighbours and we exchanged numbers after we found out we were even from the same state...maybe i shouldn't have but for now, I'll save that gist...so we start to keep in touch once in a while, me mainly by text messages. She made the first move to visit me...will save that gist too for now, cos i am digressing too much now! Mrs neighbour starts talking about different things and i only nod or laugh and she mentions she knows her husband has girlfriends but that once they don't come near her house, and her position is secure, she has no problem with it. She goes on to mention a few of her friends who know about their husbands' affairs and how they don't seem to mind...She mentioned a few who reacted and how things turned out badly.

By now, i was telling myself, writefreak, what have you gotten yourself into? Who is this woman? Yours truly just sat down there smiling a foolish smile and thinking, this woman and i are worlds apart.

So i got myself a friend who thinks it's ok, her husband can cheat on her so long as she has her place in his home, she has friends who believe the same thing, she is married to a man who can almost be my father, the list continues...and i am trying my best to keep her at bay and get her off my back...

Guess i will continue with Mrs Neighbour part 2. Will love to hear what you have to say. Do you think it's right for a lady to expect her hubby/man to cheat on her? Do men have to beat women to earn respect? It annoys me even as i type the question!

Wanted!

Hi people, do you know any lady who has helped another lady achieve something great, maybe to start a business, go to school or was there for the person in a trying time, i need examples of such people as i am working on something that is meant to showcase ladies who have been there for each other

Also do you know anyone who used to be a member of Reverend Kings' church and has now left? I am working on a feature on him and i need such people to be interviewed...

Do you know anyone who has a very good relationship with their father...a daughter or son, a relationship that is a model one, it could be a biological or foster father, also need such people for a feature i am working on

Good people, i hope to hear from you soon...

Please note that these people should be resident in Nigeria so it would be easy to get through to them.

Thank you

Right Direction!

Oh my it's been almost a month since i updated! Men i have been so busy, just three weeks after i did my last post, i got a call to attend an interview, i applied to be a writer somewhere...it's amazing how you see opportunities when you decide to! I had always told myself there were limited writing roles...until i decided i was going to do things in line with my gift!

So i went for the interview, and like 25 people were there, i was shocked because i didn't expect that many people! Well i knew i could do it! Lemme not bore you with the details, i was eventually 5 out of the 25 people that made the list! To think i wasn't considering a job anymore, infact i had to think hard about it! But it was an opportunity in the very right direction, i get to write and some good exposure to TV...might give the job details later, for now, let's leave it at that.

Truth is the money isn't the motivation, infact, if that was it then i shouldn't have taken the job but to tell you the truth, i have decided money does not necessarily have to come from work, there are different ways of making money, i love my new job and i am so enjoying it! And i am meeting loads of people! It's fun.

On the book side, i have sent it to some publishers and i am getting some feedbac, not bad ones, i'm praying it is accepted! So join me in praying for a quick acceptance...that book's gotta be published real soon!

God has been good to me, there are still things i am believing Him for, of course we always have to believe, and i know He will do exceedingly abundantly more than i could ever ask or think in His time! What do you think guys maybe i should write something on God's time....

Hope not to stay away too long this time...just been very very busy!

I'm Coming Out!

As i write i sing this song, only i have forgotten the artist who sang it...doesn't matter though...at least not to me! It captures the essence of how i feel

I'm coming
I'm coming out
I want the world to know...

Where have i been? I haven't even visited my own blog in weeks! See, my people so much has been happening!

This update is not about any inspiring topic, it's about moi and things that have been happening in my life in the past few weeks that i've been awol, nah it's not another Ghana trip, this time it's a journey of my life.

Ok so i finally quit! I stepped out in faith, after much deliberation and prayer between hubby and i, we decided it was time to move out of the comfort zone and launch my net into the deep! After several months of dissatisfaction and asking myself shall i, shall i not, I acted on my own message, sat at my computer and sacked my boss! Yes i mean i fired my boss! I had typed a sample of my resignation about 6 months earlier, just did not have enough guts to do it but i guess the time is right now!

To a lot of colleagues and friends, i took a very wrong decision, why would you leave a job you have at hand for something you do not have yet? So many tried to dissuade me. So are you going to become a housewife now? A bird in hand is better than two in the bush! No! I beg to disagree...the bird in your hand might be dead already, why not go look for something fresh? Why cling to something that is dying or not meeting your needs!

No man would ever excel without taking risks. If i do not pursue my dreams now or fulfill the nudges in my heart, when will i get to do these things? Life is not about getting a job and just doing it. For me, it's about doing something i love and contributing my quota to my society...i have been able to sit down and come up with a few things i love to do and after 6 years of graduation, i am reinventing myself and on the path to becoming the best that i can be! I am still thinking and working on it and oh yes i will get there!

And of course! Thanks to my wondeful hubby who sees the best in me all the time and encourages me to acknowledge the good things in me!

Lesson from an ATM Machine- Just One More Push!

I slotted my card into the ATM machine, and heard 'please enter your secret number', i did this and punched in the amount i wanted. I waited, and all of a sudden it flashed, 'financial institution not available'. I removed my card, pissed at my bank, 'damn! that always happens when you need money desperately'. I had been through this same road so many times, it was like dejavu, this always happens! There was a particular day i tried my card in several machines throughout the whole day and i got no cash, i mean ZILCH.

I turned back and was going to leave the bank, then it occured to me to try the card again, it was immediately, i argued with myself that the financial institution would still be unavailable but decided to give it the benfit of doubt, i slotted it in, and repeated the procedure i knew too well, i heard the sound of the macine bringing out money and almost couldn't believe it. It gave me CASH! Thank God, i whispered as i retrieved my cash and card.

I walked out of the bank feeling good and then i heard within me, 'hope you learnt a lesson there' and i thought what lesson. It then occured to me there have been several times i've given up too soon on things i should have done because they were not working out the way i thought they should. I would try and once i thought whatever it was i was doing wasn't working, subconsciously i dropped it.

I had memories of times i had tried to do things and it looked like i failed and i had allowed such memories to hinder me sometimes in persevering in other things till i got what i wanted. As i saw the message 'financial institution not available', i remembered the so many times i had inserted my atm card and got that message over and over all day and that almost stopped me from trying one more time. Sometimes, it's just the one more time that's needed to get us to our desire or goal but we give up too soon.

It occured to me i had to wipe out of my brain or choose not to remember the different times things have not worked out. I have to be willing to persevere for whatever i want and always try the one more push which sometimes makes a difference between a woman giving birth through CS and a woman doing natural birth. Sometimes, it's just the willingness to push one more time that makes the difference!

Can i Walk on Water???

Step on the water, you can do it, walk towards me, yes you can walk on the water...as you see me do it, you also can...

He stepped on the water in response,he was actually walking on it! doing the impossible! He could do it, he was ecstatic! And then he looked around, he looked at the water, he looked at the rest of the people in the boat, they're not doing the same thing he's doing...no, he definitely can't be doing this! He was defying natural laws, it was impossible, how could he? Then he noticed he was losing his stand, gradually he began to sink...he couldn't do what he did just a few minutes ago anymore, he had considered the outward circumstances and all the false evidences appearing real...so he started to sink

Then he called to Him and He stretched forth his hand and caught him saying 'O you of little faith, why did you doubt?' His name is Jesus and his name is Peter. Jesus told Peter he began to sink because he allowed circumstances around him to dictate his response.

I'm so sure most of us are familiar with this story, yeah it's from the bible and when i think deeply about it, it applies to my daily life and that of most of us. I want the circumstances to be right before doing anything, i know what to do inside me but i want to wait for the signs, i don't want to step out on a limbo...i don't want to walk in blind faith but He says that's the way to go...

Without faith it is impossible to please God, without faith one cannot reach the great heights of life, without faith, we can not step out and achieve all that God has destined us to achieve, without faith we'll cling to dead dreams and visions and refuse to see new horizons...without faith, we will live life on a mediocre level...

How many times have we known the right thing to do but allowed the circumstances around to dictate our reaction or hinder us from doing what we need to do. How many times have we chosen to stay in our comfort zones and refused to step out in faith knowing when we start to sink in case we doubt, He'll stretch forth His hands to catch us.

Daily i'm learning it's very easy to live a mediocre life, make no sacrifices, take no risks, have no faith, just do the average that is required to get by in life and in the end look around and envy the people doing great things and allowing Him to take the lead. I have decided i am going to step on the water, and if i start to sink, He'll stretch forth His hand to carry me. And i will renew my faith again!

Selah!

Happy New year my peeps

It's a new year and i'm very excited becuase it will definitely be a good year!
Hope you all had fun over the Xmas and New year breaks. I did although i worked some of it.

My Christmas was spent with my family back home in our 'village', it's a once in a year event my dad instilled in us as kids but i haven't been there for the celebration for the past 7 years so when hubby agreed we should go, i was really looking forward to it. It's usually a time of reunion not only with my immediate family but also the extended one; usually a time of much eating and visitation! Well we went and had fun but it was so so cold, i was sneezing and blowing my nose throughout christmas day. It was fun all the same

I meant to type a longer post and fill y'all in on what went down at Xmas and new year but don't have the energy, i've been under the weather, not been at work this week at all. Just wanted to update at least so all the people leaving me messages to update would know that it's not deliberate...lol...i have things to write, stuff to pour out but don't have the energy

I forgot to mention in my previous posts that i met favouredgirl in real life and we hit it off. We had been chatting several hours before then so it was like a continuation. I thank blogville for giving me an extra friend. We're kindred spirits! Was at a bloggers event last Saturday and it was nice to put faces to some of the blogs i visit often, we had fun and hope we can do it again.

Well, i'll leave you with a food for thought. Do you have goals for this year or did you just make resolutions? Resolultions to me are wishful thinking, things you'd love to do but goals are targets you set for yourself with ways on how to achieve them. My pastor encourages us all to write our goals forthe new year, every December 31st, that takes me through a thinking process and makes me reach deep into myself. I hardly sit down to think, dunno if it's good or bad. I have goals for this year and i'm giving God something to work with and i know i will achieve more than those set goal. I hope you have your goals for the year written down.

I wish you well in the new year, i wish you lots of happiness, i wish you loads of blessings and i'll say this prayer for you:

'May God keep you and yours and may His face shine upon you'

Have a happy year everyone and blog soon!

7 Randon/Weird Facts about me- Tagged by Arewa and Aloted

It took me over three weeks to come up with these facts, yes three whole weeks!....thanks arewa for picking my brain and making me think deeply o, pay day is coming believe me! and aloted for making me finally do this! I definitely didn't think it would be this hard..i finally came up with a list and it's even longer than seven..lol

I remember that as a kid, i would not allow a boy's body to touch mine. That probably stemmed from attending a girls' only school for a good while. I would rub and rub and try to clean off the touch if a boy's body mistakenly touched mine..silly i know.:)

I am a clean freak! The first thing i do once i get into my house is to get to the sink and wash my hands..if i don't, i'd feel like something's missing or wrong..lol. If i washed my plates and left them on the rack for a few minutes, i would still go ahead and rinse them if i wanted to eat something immediately..are you beginning to wonder if i'm ok?

I can't stand looking at the back of anyone's shoes even mine! Looking at them gives me a funny feeling so i always turn shoes over. I've done this since i was a kid! Even for guests' shoes! Lol

I always rub my feet together when sitting down especially if i have carpet under my feet. I'm doing that right now infact and it drives my hubby mad..hehehe. I think i inherited it from my mum i think!

I have very few girl friends who are close to me and with most of them it was 'love at first sight'. I just have to 'click' with my friends the first time we talk and i treat my friendships like i'm in a love relationship. Maybe that's why i don't have so many, maybe i scare them off.:-)lol..ask aloted!

My hubby is the first 'real' boyfriend i had. He was the first guy i allowed to hold my hands who didn't irritate me.. etc and my first kiss was also with him.:) i'm shy and covering my face right now

Most people who aren't tall love heels..i beg to differ..not like i'm really short, not talk either but i hate heels. You see this sister loves her comfort and would rather wear flats.:). I only wear heels when there are special occasions. Sister just can't be bothered with all that cat walking.:)

I sit in the most uncomfortable positions like folding my knees behind me and sitting on them. I carry my plate on my chest while eating and would almost always get stained while eating especially at home. I wonder how i achieve such feat! Hubby always asks how i do it!

I used to be a food hater when i was in uni..i would cook but could go days without food. There was a time a group of friends had to take me out to eat and forced me to eat the food after three days of starvation, i really don't know what was wrong with me then ..

Can you imagine that i thought i couldn't write this list..now i've added an extra and could really go on and on! Thanks for helping me reach within ladies! Now i'm tagging aijay(not sure if you've done yours), favoured girl and allied...

I hope i won't be begged to update again..life just gets so busy sometimes

Very Important Note
My blogville family, help me thank God. Sunday Dec 9, i could finally say Mr and i have celebrated a wedding anniversary together..it was our first..it's been a great year..the best ever for me! I hear couple fights are common place..for us, we're yet to have any fight or real argument(we disagree to agree later sometimes) in this one year and i pray the bliss continues. Someone told me..ha you're still on honeymoon..wait till real life starts but i'm proud to say for us..we're determined to have the honeymoon forever..so help us God! Help me thank God for giving me THE RIGHT MAN!

Mind Your Own Business/ Leave me Alone

Hi peeps..it's been some days since i last posted or snooped around blogs..ko le da na ni(it's so that things might be well):-) . I am now able to say confidently that i'm the proud owner of a manuscript of over 200 pages and over 83,000 words! I guess that's the easy part, now i have to start editing and talking to publishers . Hope things go real smooth and pretty fast, can't wait to start seeing my books on the shelves and people buying them.
I wonder if i'd have been able to write the book if i wasn't married to my dear hubby (he's my inspiration) and i'll say no..marriage has added so many blessings to my life! Soppy me..hehehe. Earlier this year or late last year, he took me to a book store, showed me the nigerian fiction shelf and said 'sweet, when am i going to see your book here..you have it in you..you're a beautiful writer, don't waste your talent'. That spurred me on and along the line when i've taken a rest to drink water and it looks like i'm camping there, he reminds me we have a target to finish before the year runs out..when i told him i finished the first draft..i could see the joy on his face and the look of accomplishment and it just makes me feel oh i married the right man. He delights in my accomplishment. Even if the book doesn't become a best seller or isn't very popular (i'm hoping for the two.:)), there's a sense of purpose here, i'm not burying my talent. There's so much more i have in here..not even scratching the surface yet but i know this year has been a complete turn around for me :)my life can't ever remain the same again.
To my blogville fans who keep encouraging me although they have no clue what i'm writing, thanks for your blind faith and kind words, means a lot to me. I'm blessed beyond measure. So guys watch out for me on the book shelves next year hopefully..

Now to the issue on my mind at the moment, it's bugging me a bit that people are finding it hard to mind their business, so if you're in that category, please be warned!
This might end up being a rant post, so please bear with me, just need to get some stuff off my chest.

Yours truly went for an old time friend's wedding and saw an old neighbour who also happens to be my mum's friend there and decided to be a nice girl..greeting the woman with as much enthusiasm as i felt and she motioned to me to come sit by her a while. Hubby had stepped out of the church service which was dragging so i thought there could be no harm. She hugged me and asked general 'i care' questions. Next thing this woman looked at my flat belly and said 'ki lo se e? (what's wrong with you)'. I had a bewildered look on my face and told her i'm fine ma. She said 'no o, so the story i heard is true. That you're waiting to buy a car before having kids! I had said i would come and meet you in lagos and talk some sense into your head. What kind of thinking is that?'' . All the while, the church service is still going on and she's ranting in yoruba trying to keep her voice low. Another old neighbour was seated to her right who was probably enjoying the free gist. I was so upset, i just plastered a stupid smile on my face and calmly told her i'm fine and she shouldn't worry about me and thinking 'my mum must hear this. Please where's hubby to save me from this witch of a woman'. I used hubby as excuse..told her i'll see her again and went to my seat fuming inside. Please tell me, what's her business? Even if it's true i'm saving up for a car(which isn't), does it concern her? I pity her sons' wives! We're not even related in any way o.

A friend who was at our wedding last year called me yesterday and asked how i'm doing. I haven't heard from her since then by the way, didn't even know she still has my number. She exchanged the usual pleasantries, how's your husband? How's your work? I told her fine and then she goes 'do you have a baby now?' and i said no. She said are you pregnant? I humour her and say no, then she says i hope everything's alright. I just wanted to check with you since i've not heard anything. And that another friend of hers who got married at the same time has a baby now, i couldn't wait for her to land anymore, had to cut her short. I told her congrats to your friends, we're not the same people though and we have different plans for our lives so does God. Thanks for checking up on me. It's highly appreciated. She promptly ended the call. Maybe she was expecting to hear tales of how i'm praying day and night and getting depressed. God forbid!

Those are just two instances out of so many and i'm wondering why people are so nosy and insensitive. Family will ask questions, friends will ask, neighbours will poke their noses. If something is going on in my life that you don't know, it means we're just not that close..get the message and don't ask me dumb questions. Does one need to ask a pregnant woman? My answer now is when it happens, you'll know..or maybe silence is even the best answer, what'd you guys think?

Why do people around here act like once you get married, a baby must show up in the next mine months??? What if i don't want my life that way? Does it never occur to them? Kids will make my life fuller and richer but while they're not yet there, i'll enjoy my life on the way to where i'm going. They should stop acting like i have problems. No thank you, my hubby and i are fine and enjoying life the way it is and looking forward to the future.

So do you guys think i have a right to be upset or not? I'm holding my head up and refusing to question what i know was a wise decision and looking forward to the blessing of a child. Should i kill myself because someone thinks i am not wise? Should i become a nut case because i am thought to be nonchallant? I don't want to, i refuse to, i'll be strong and keep my head up. But the society makes it so hard. There's pressure all around..to which i refuse to cave in though. I keep reminding myself of what my hubby says..'whatever is going on in our family is strictly OUR business!'. They should help us leave it as such.
Rant over now, how're you guys doing?

30 Days of Thankfulness- Day 21

So i got tagged by Aijay in this wonderful chain...Arewa, you tagged me, yes i know, still compiling my list of weird stuff and you'll get to see it soon. It's just a bit harder to do than this...apologies hun

Join me in the Thankfulness Chain....if you've been tagged, please complete the tag on the assigned day example... if you're tagged for November 21... that is day 21 and you should title your post 30 Days of Thankfulness - Day 21 provide a link to the person that tagged you previously Also provide a link to the two people that you're tagging for the next day so we can all follow the chain... Do let them know they're being tagged.. why they're being tagged, and how to grow the chain if you're unable to do the tag on your assigned day... still choose the day to reflect the date you do it (if you're choosing not to back date it) ...example... if you're tagged for November 25 but dont get to do it till November 27... and you're not back dating.. it's okay to do it as Day 27 you can post these rules or something to this effect to help it along.. :-)

For these reasons i am thankful o Lord:

I thank you o Lord for redeeming me from the jaws of hell and putting me on the right path..i have been redeemed by grace and because of this you call me no longer a sinner but a righteous daughter of yours....only you can do this Lord!

I'm grateful for my soul mate! You gave me a man who is crazy about me, a man who is always willing to stand up for me, protect and cherish me, a man who always makes me laugh and for this Lord i want to say i'll always be grateful and i'll always love this man; this man who, you have given me.

I thank you for my marriage, it's been blissful, it's almost a year now and we're yet to have our first fight, for this Lord i'm thankful, may our home always continue to be peaceful and full of your love...thank you father

For my unborn children, i am grateful because i know they will walk in your ways and fulfill your destiny for their lives. I know you're shaping their futures already. For being the beginning and the end, father be praised!

Lord i thank you for your protection and provision on myself and my family, for holding up your word that says only shouts of joy shall be heard in the habitations of the righteous! I praise you o Lord

My heavenly father, i am grateful for the challenges i face, they mould me, they shape me into who you want me to be. What would life be without its lessons? Meaningless! Challenges are the ways by which you teach me and i am so grateful for them! For the ones to come that i haven't faced, i say bring them on! God pass them!

Lord i'm grateful for friends you've given me, they're not many but they're wonderful and make my life beautiful, we share so many joys and laughters and when it's time to cry together, well...we let the tears flow...for this Lord i want to say thank you so much.

I am grateful for my potentials and the wonderful gifts you've given me father. You keep unfolding thwem to me one after the other. I am a bundle of potentials! Thank you Lord

I thank you for health, the gift of life, provision, my eyes, my legs and every part of my body, for every single promise in your Word, i praise you. I remember you said not a jot will go away without being fulfilled, oh i'm still going to see the fulfillment of many more wonderful things in my life and so for this Lord, i'm in awe of you

I'm thankful for Christmas, oh i love christmas, it reminds me that Jesus Christ was born for me and i really love the food and festivities :-)....thank you Lord because it's no longer far away.....

I also thank you for blogsville and for the wonderful people you connected me to through it. I laugh and cry while reading their posts and it's made my life richer. Thank you fatehr

These words are mine Lord, i thank you for who you are

Thank you Aijay for helping me to reflect on God's faithfulness, it's been a wonderful experience. I almost could go on and on and on because i'm remembering a lot of things God has taken me through this year, i have tears in my eyes, they are tears of joy for God's faithfulness and i celebrate them.

If you see your name on this list, then you've been tagged!
aloted,
omoalagbede,
solomonsydelle ,
olamild
and allied

Hope to read your thanksgiving letters, let's raise the roof with our praise!

Classics from work

Customer: Please my phone is saying 'fertility problem' and i can't make calls
Me: Did you say your phone is saying fertility problem?
Customer: Yes i did. That's what it is telling me

I needed to be sure i was hearing right and not my mind playing tricks, i was!I had been talking to so many people about babies and stuff, so it could have been my mind. This guy confirmed to me again that's what he said.
Ok, so i had to laugh, how does your phone have a fertility problem? Please does anyone know? I asked him to hold on and checked his line, what this guy was calling a fertility problem was a barring on his outgoing calls which he activated himself by the way? What do you do with this kind of person? Well, you look the other way at their seeming 'stupidity' and offer the help you can in your nicest voice. Tough,huh? Not really, can sometimes be fun

Customer 2: Network is refusing to be present in my area
Me: (Can't help being sarcastic)Excuse me, i'd like to confirm if you said network is not present in your area?
Who is taking attendance that network is not present...lol..If you don't have network, tell me there's no network in my area. Some of these guys in a bid to speal big English sound really idiotic

Customer 3 is Mr i'm feeling big who calls to say 'i work in so and so or i run my own business, been using my line for 5 years and i always recharge with huge amounts of money. When i bought this line it, was so many thousands, not now that every one can walk up and pick up a line'. This guy goes on and on about his status and i'm wondering 'oh please, get to the point'
Then he goes i'm finding it difficult to recharge my line (i'm like thank you Jesus, we finally get there) and then he goes on 'so i can't call my business partner'...bla bla and there we go again....Here i am feeling like telling this guy, can we cut out the crap and let's just deal with the issue? But work ethics command i have to find a way to be respectful and helpt his guy get to the point...Arrrrrggghhhhhhhhhh...that can be sometimes frustrating....

Let me spare you guys the rest or you want to hear more? Well, i'll determine if there'll be a part 2 from your responses...lol

Oh one more: I finish talking to this guy and then he says please may i have your name again, i tell him 'writefreak (of course not!), then he goes, from telecoms (mentions the name of my company) abi? Please isn't that dumb? Which number did he dial and what company was he calling?

On the personal end, been busy working on my book, i've missed my deadline of October end again (and my dear hubby is really upset with me, i wonder how he would be as a publisher. I so appreciate the push though, or else i would have packed up th book since, he's been a great encouragement) but good news i'm working on the final three chapters now, wish it could just end there. Nah, have to edit from the beginning, then start the publishing runs...i'll get there...

Ok peeps...later, i'm out, work calls!

My Learning Experience

I'm sorry for my absence, i am back. Alot has happened to me in the past week and i just haven't been able to blog or do a lot of other things for that matter and i'll share them now.So solomonsydelle and afrobabe, here's the update

Learning is a different experience for different people. This week, i have had some experiences which i'm trying to come to terms with or i've just gotten to accept. I started learning to drive properly in recent times since i have been very lazy about it. I used to leave the car at home and go out in cabs but has proved very inconvenient in recent times, i just hate the haggling and so on so i summoned courage and got hubby's permission to start taking the car. I arranged with one of my colleagues to be riding with me,and voila we were good to go. I had driven round my area for a while so i was gettng confident.

First day i drove to work, the car told me 'check coolant', meaning there was no water in the radiator, we put water and it started leaking, so i called the mechanic to meet me at home, only for us to drive a few metres and the car stopped. We waited there for over an hour, the guy came, attended to it and the car started. I was like so upset, considering i wanted to speand the rest of my afternoon writing after resting a bit. I closed from work at 1:30 and didn't get to my house till like past 4:00. It's only about 20 minutes journey. Hubby and i talked on the phone and we joked about it as part of driving experience, i felt better

The following day, i drove to work and back and there was no issue, so i begged my colleague that i needed fuel for our generator and also some for the car. We drove to the filling station and bought the fuel. I dropped my friend at his place, our houses are just about 5 minutes apart, was driving home jejelly (gently) and was entering a corner, when this car suddenly appeared in front of me, i didn't know what to do, i panicked, next thing our cars had kissed and then i remembered the brake...it was too late! Next thing i know i'm out of my car and shaking like a leaf! I called hubby and said, i have wrecked the front of the car and he was like 'oh my god!'. He wasn't around so he told me to call the mechanic. I called my colleague, i was on autopilot, i gave my car key to a guy i didn't know to help me move it off the road until some lady nudged me to enter the car, the guy could have been a thief! I got into it!

The guy in the car came to meet me asking what he would do now, apparently, he was a driver. i didn't even fully understand yet, my colleague came, the guy said his oga said we should come and meet him in his hospital since he's a doctor. We drove there. The owner of the car refused to come out to talk to use, he sent for his mechanic. We went back to the accident venue, the mechanic exclaimed hwen he saw the car. The left fender was damaged and the headlight was broken etc etc. He was able to drive it, then the owner came out to examine it, he was an Indian, he didn't even acknowledge my presence. He sent for his panel beater and then i was hearing i would need to buy him a new windscreen, new headlamps, new bumper, etc, i was like what? Was this guy waiting for someone to solve all the problems on his car? I'm not a racially prejudiced person but i've heard Indians are very harsh people, it was being confirmed to me live by this guy who was not even willing to hear that i had the L plate on and his driver was not smart enough to swerve for me, only stopped in front making me panic.

The banter went on with my two friends negotiating with them on what i would fix and not fix, and then he wanted me to use his panel beater, it was all getting too much so i decided to go have a talk to him and see if we could reach an agreement. I had spent almost 2 hours with him and i had not even started solving the problem of our own car with its expensive parts. I tried reasoning with him then he told me he treats his car like his patient and if there's a minor damage somewhere, then i would replace it. I flipped, here i was, three hours after leaving work, and tackling unexpected issues, the guy was not even willing to compromise, i could have gone to my house, but out of being a nice person i followed his malo (hausa) driver to meet him. I flipped and started raking for the guy who just entered into his office. i told him if he wanted his panel beater, then he should be prepared to solve the problem himself. I was raking like a mad woman, it was suddenly too much....

We took his car to the panel beater's and my mechanic took our away...i forgot the house keys in the car, the mechanic had to come back with it. Once i entered my house, i broke down, tears that i didn't know were there rose to the surface. It had been a really horibble day, hubby was not around to cry on his shoulders...Everyone kept telling me it was part of learning the ropes. Well hubby wasn't upset about it, he was trying his best to comfort me and even told me i have becoem an international driver. He's such a sweet guy. I cried and felt better

I thought about the whole situation and i decided i'm not buying any windscreen, i paid for the panel beating and will buy the lights, that's all i'm going to do. Thank God he doesn't have my phone number or house address, the guy was just too mean. Or what do you guys think i should do? Will appreciate your suggestions.

Car is being fixed now and life is going on, so that's what i've been up to my peeps!

Tripping in Ghana

One week has gone by since i ended my vacation and i've once again settled into the my normal life, it's not so bad afterall...lol. Part of the dividends of too much 'igbadun' (enjoyment) is the 4kg i added which i'm trying my best to lose...exercises and cutting down on night eating, i guess that should work. I don't want to be carrying any excess luggage around

I went to Ghana for a blissful week (i'm sure you guys have been wondering where i went, well, there, it's out). I've always wanted to visit that country btu somehow it never happened till this year, so close to Nigeria, yet so far...It's just about 45 minutes by air!

Well so hubby and i got to do this together. Yay! I didn't want to travel anywhere alone so i was really glad.Our flight was delayed for over an hour, although we had thought we were late. Very short flight, before i knew it, we were touching down in Accra. My lovely friend (aloted's) friend, Belinda (who is now my friend by the way) was waiting for us at the airport and she took us to the hotel she had booked for us...we were in transit, our main destination was a beach resort somewhere about 3 hours outside Accra.

Accra is a nice city but definitely less of the Lagos hustle and bustle, anyway, how many people live there?Twas a nice night, hubby had a swim, i couldn't i was too tired. We went to the Oxford Street and men, was night life thriving! This was a Tuesday evening and so many young people were out, i was like shocked! Or maybe it's because i don't really do night crawling in Lagos, we walked part of the street length listening to Naija music blaring on the sound systems, PSquared to be precise...I was really feeling it!

We arrived at the beach resort in the afternoon of the following day, this was definitely a very quiet area, well we wanted peace and somewhere out of the hustle and bustle and we got it! From our room, we could hear the ocean rumbling and hitting against the rocks, it was a wonderful sound.I can never tire of watching the ocean, it just gives me this sense of peace and assurance of God's promises. They're never ending like the water!

We visited the Slave castle on Thursday morning, we had a lot of company, a group of white guys were also visiting. The tour guide did a wonderful job, taking us through the different history of the castle and how the slave trade began. If not for God, i was starting to develop a hatred for whites. Ha! that was a real injustice, the dungeons were like hell holes, very tiny rooms where they would accommodate over 150 people with no ventilation, those people were wicked sa! The door of no return where the slaves were gone forever to the new world was so tiny and to imagine they were tied in chains! I'm so glad the slave trade was abolished long long before i was born...aren't you?

To more pleasant gist, we went to the Kankum National Park where we went on the trail above the canopy, it was like 280 feet above sea level or more...it was the most adventurous thing i've ever done in my life! On that canopy, i experienced several emotions, fear, joy, anxiety etc...you can't fall but the walkway is so narrow and one continues to sway..twas so much fun and then it rained while we were on the walkway and it was like God was giving us showers of blessing...
i took some pictures to congratulate myself on completing the walk on the trail.

The white guys wanted to see the crocodile fan, that held no fascination for me,i', an African, i don't need to be looking at crocodiles..we left them at the dam and we went back to our hotel...i was like so tired that evening...i had done enough for a day, the rest of the day was spent in bed:-)..did i hear some questions? Sure didn't

Following day, we went to buy our tickets to travel back to Accra, then we went to the University which reminded us pretty much of our own Uni. Then, we went to see the Cape Coast Slave castle, pretty much the same story as the first slave castle we saw. I fell in love with a ghanaian sauce called Shitor and i jep eating it with everything i could think of..Addiction! It was late, we went back to our hotel room...we wanted to swim but me, i was too tired!

Saturday, we left for Accra and went back to the hotel we stayed before...we spent some time cruising round the city in a friend's car and then bought quite an amount of wooden materials for ourselves and family...

Sunday come too soon, it was the day to leave. I woke up to a disappointment (don't wanna go into details) but hubby and i were determined not to have the day end like that. So what if i was hoping for something? More opportunities are ahead. We went to the beach and walked the length with our friend...then we went to one of the beach hotels, had a few drinks and spent some time talking and laughing...My friend introduced me to a Ghanaian guy who grew up in Naija and we spoke plenty Yoruba to each other, i'm sure she thought we were speaking in tongues.

Time to go, it was really had to say goodbye not only because i would miss my friends but because it was the end of the vacation. It was so much fun while it lasted and here i am adjusted to normal life again looking forward to my next vacation!

MIA

Did anyone knock on my door when i was away? Or did i hear someone say i missed you? For those that stopped by when i was away, thanks so much, i was on some remote island fulfilling a mission...lol

So i'm back and real life starts today, i wish i didn't really have to go back to work, i have so enjoyed my "faffing" life that i wish the end would not come. Every good book has an end i guess so i'm singing 'back to life, back to reality!' I had fun, lots of it, i really enjoyed myself and i have the excess 4kg that i added which i have to lose by all means in the next few weeks (since some of my clothes seem to be feeling tight now). I refuse to believe they're tight! Lol

I haven't written in a week, i continue today and hope to finish real soon, pray for me o! that i will be able to resist every temptation of chatting and reading blogs when i should be working.

Anyway, work starts today, need to prapare, will try and put up a post on my trip soon when i can get myself to sit down and do it,

Till then, enjoy y'all!

Life is beautiful

This post is actually for today the 17th but is reading 11th because i started it last week...lazy me!

I've been so absent from blogging! There would have been a reasonable explanation if i've been so busy at work or i've had so much to do at home and didn't remember to blog but none of this is the answer. I think it's been laziness, another part is fighting the blogging addiction and trying to do productive things. So i've been absent lately and will fill y'all in on what i've been up to.

I started my over 3 weeks vacation last week and i can't believe it's a week already, i wish i could get paid for being on vacation all year long, my time is mine and i can do as i wish with it, including staying up late at the night doing all sorts, gatecrashing blogs, browsing literary sites, reading book reviews online, chatting with friends who burn the midnight oil like me(hubby has been nagging me over chatting too much, i think he's jealous:-)),just fooling around on the internet and reading anything that catches my fancy. Can you see i have been so busy?

My vacation has been fun up till date though i didn't travel to the destination i thought i would. What is vacation all about? Is it about travelling to some fancy place so i can tell my friends i saw this place and that place? Infact, i'm trying to define vacation to myself. Yeah, it's good to travel and all that, i still plan to spend at least a week outside the country but i think the most important thing when one is on vacation is spending time with family,resting and rejuvenating onself, it's a time to also assess one's life goals and see if you're on the right path (yeah i have a reflecting side). So long as those things are done, i've had a good vacation.

Monday was the first day of my vacation, i spent it indoors just lounging and working on my book...didn't do much really.

Tuesday; hubby had to go to abuja for work so we got on the plane together. Yes thank you, i like being his handbag, i spent the rest of the day working on my book, watching some TV and did some lounging in the evening, yeah and i stayed up late chatting

Wednesday; I finished Kaine Agary's Yellow-Yellow that i started reading on Monday; it's a nice book written in simple language and gives one an insight into things happening in the Delta. Got through with chapter 9 of my book, yay! I guess slow and steady wins the race, i'm moving along and will definitely get there, i'm over halfway now.

Thursday: really prayed today (not like i don't pray everyday but this was different) I started on chapter 10 and got stuck, maybe i ex[erienced what people call writers' block so i watched some TV. I hate the Big Brother Africa show, i think it's a waste of time for adults to stay cooped up in a house for three months doing nothing productive with their lives but i found myself watching and even predicting who would go out next. I even formed favourites...hmm...see what this vacation is doing to me o

Friday: I did a little writing, inspiration came yesterday night before i went to bed but somehow i didn't spend so much time writing during the day. I spent the evening going out and having some fun; checking out books etc.

Saturday: This was real faffing day! I did nothing but lounge with all day, watching TV, gisting etc. Eventually i stayed up late to continue on chapter 10, went to bed when i couldnt take no more

Sunday: Woke up late...very late! There was no church,spent sometime indoors praying, had breakfast in bed (i'm sure someone is wondering oh this is the life!), then in the evening went swimming. This time was better than the last one i went to the pool. You see i have this thing, i can swim but i sometimes think i'm drowning so i'll just stop in the middle and start asking for help (did i hear a laugh?)...well, i didn't need help this time. Writefreak got her groove on! It was so much fun and relaxing. Oh and yes, the housemate i wanted evicted left the big brother house, it was a good day for me! I also finished chapter 10 of my book, i am now convinced i can write...lol

I haven't been going out much, i sometimes eat breakfast in bed, go to the dining room for lunch and same for dinner...life is good! I'm doing no house chores, i wish this would last forever so i'm going to enjoy it as long as it lasts. Life is beautiful!

Jungle Justice

In recent times, i have noticed an ill being perpetrated in our society which no one seems to be speaking or bothering about. It's a mind bugging issue which the appropriate authorities need to step into.

Several weeks back, around the area where i live in Lagos, i noticed two spots where there appeared to be burnt tires and was wondering why there was a riot. My only memory of tire burning on the road was the Babangida and Abacha days when we had incessant demonstration by different groups.

Well curious me, i asked the driver of the cab i was in why there was a riot. Then he said 'sister, eyan na ni'(those are burnt human beings). Eh! I shouted. He went on to explain they were thieves who had been caught in the act by neighbourhood boys. I wanted to know what they stole and everytime i saw someone who could have some information, i got no answer. Nobody seemed to know. It bothered me that for so many days, the charred remains lay on the road while people drove or walked past just avoiding the spot.

This last Sunday, hubby and i drove past an area close home again and saw the same gory sight, infact, the burners were still in the act, looking for more tires to increase the flames bursting like they were making sacrifice to a blood thirsty god. I was not able to find out anything this time. My guess is i would hear 'they are thieves'.

My question is if it's right to just go on a rampage and start taking the law into our hands. Definitely, the punishment for stealing in the Federal republic of Nigeria is not lighting a human being who might have the potential to change on fire!

So many people think it is good because it will reduce the number of miscreants but i envisage a situation where innocent people are set ablaze or one where hoodlums decide to just kindle a fire on anyone they have a feud with. All they have to do is shout 'thief, thief' to get support.

Definitely, our security system is porous and needs to be improved but it is no excuse for citizens to take law into their hands.

I recall a few years ago when a boy of about nine years was set on fire close to the national stadium because people said he stole. I wonder what this boy must have stolen.

These jungle justice masters need to be curbed i believe. I can only say what i have seen in my area. How can we tell how many people are being burnt daily all over Lagos? If these people feel so passionately about crime, why not join any of the law enforcement agencies and help wake them up? It is sad that the law is being taken into the citizens' hands and no one seems to be raising an eyelid.

There is probably be a law binding people from doing these kind of things. We need a system where crime is dealt with properly. I believe also that if the people have faith in the law, they might seek it as an alternative to taking it into their hands.

7 Blissful years!

There's this guy i know so well, he had a friend for about a year, he thought they were getting too close, people were talking about their relationship, he was not ready for a boy-girl relationship, he had a frist class to make and his studies to face! So he told the girl, please let's give each other some space, i like you but i'm not ready for a relationship and i really don't see a wedding dress!

The girl agreed and gave him space..a lot! She liked him but she's got her pride..thankfully school went on break...time to heal! She heaved a sigh of relief!

School resumed and one night, the young man is back in her life..telling her he loves her in a shy manner. A week later, they were officially girlfriend and boyfriend...the relationship was too good to be true. They'd break up so many said..

Well, six and half years after the shy profession and even the 'shyer' acceptance , here was the guy in a lovely suit and the lady in a beautiful wedding dress(he did see the wedding dress afterall) at the altar making vows of forever to each other.

August 14, a very memorable day, would have made their pure relationship 7 good years. Years they both don't regret but thank God even more, they've started another count. A count they believe would be even happier than the other with God's help.

Stop guessing, it's hubby and I and i'm so glad we found each other!

how i love everything about you, everything you are, you'd catch a falling star if i asked you!...you chased me i caught you, so glad we found each other...(words not originally mine)

Lazing Around and Characters

Men i've been so lazy these days, infact the whole of last week i was on a mini vacation and i was just sleeping and sleeping (i thought i had caught a bug..)), hubby asked me to come to abuja for the week, was i glad or what? I was treated to breakfast in bed for the whole week, though my system was messed up and won't take the food..It was still fun, i felt like lazy old Garfield!

I had planned to complete my book then, i actually had a deadline of July 31st but i missed it due to the fatigue i was experiencing, i guess my body needed the rest and demanded it. Now i'm back, i'm back, i'm back!!! Guess you can tell the song i'm singing....

I picked up again and i have set a new deadline which i'm not telling, not that i plan to miss it but i'll keep it to myself. The dilemna i have now is with the character names. I got a suggestion from aloted this afternoon to name the guy Boye, i actually think i like that name, the main character was Tade but i read a book with that name recently so i decided to change it, i think i'll take that suggestion. Vain person, she was saying i'll have to acknowledge her and i'm saying no way! Does she have to ask? Can't she allow me to use my discretion?

I'm trying to decide how my weekend will run since i have the whole of it off, doesn't always happen on my kind of job (the present one)but haven't come up with a plan yet, hoping hubby will come home, will make it more fun yeah? I will definitely be able to go to church this weekend, been quite a while, been attending online for a while...

Ok i'll stop rambling now, work calls....

Oprah- Narrow Minded ?

A friend buzzed me and said "did you hear what Oprah said on her show about Nigerans"?
She actually said America should sever diplomatic relationship with Nigeria because aacording to her "all Nigerians – regardless of their level of education – are corrupt.” There is an article published in the Punch of 26th July on this, please check it out by clicking this link: Punch

How would a respected human being say something like that about a whole people? What sort of general statement is that?

Can i say, "because some teenage americans do drugs, all teenage americans are drug addicts?" I think that would be the words of a mad woman.

How would she because of the evil acts of a minute segment of the Nigerian population which is over 120 million generalise and say we are all bad. That would mean all notable Nigerians who have made differences in their chosen fields of endeavour are corrupt,right? How can?

We have so many people who have made a lot of difference around the world and have distinguished themselves in their chosen fields of endeavour, I'm sure some people come to mind as you read. Would Oprah refuse treatment from a Nigerian doctor if she had an emergency and she was taken to a hospital? I doubt that.

The most painful part for me is that i mentioned it to a colleague and he said "is it not true?" we almost fought, and i made a point to him that i am not correct and i am aware of several other Nigerians who are innocent and hardowking people, maybe he is? . What do we say about our country? Do we have faith in Nigeria?

This is an insult on Nigeria as a country and on honest hard working citizens of our beloved country. We need to rise up as a people and speak against injustice or any ill spoken word to our country.

I admired Oprah but i have lost every iota of respect for her today. I am not watching her show anymore and i am spreading this word to everyone i know. Americans defend their country with everything they have, let's do so for ours.
I rest my case!

Baby steps

It's been a week since the fire incident and i'm thankful i've gotten over it, even in the process of buying a new cooker.

The week since then has been very wonderful. For one hubby suprised me by coming home that day. He just called like some minutes before 8pm to say he'd be switching off his phone for a while, then he'll call me, i was wondering ok? Then it occured to me he might be coming home and i thought, could he? Well, like one and half hours later, he called to ask where i was, i said home, he said come open the door. Boy, was i impressed! Well, i don't need to tell you what happened after.:)

I'm making progress on my book, i've set a target for myself to finish my debut this month end so help me God and so help myself. Hubby has been so supportive, giving me the necessary push when i'm being slack. I'm taking a step at a time and i believe God is ordering the steps. If i've got a gift, then i should maximise it, shouldn't i? Well, i've decided to do just that!

Then, i made contact with some publishers. I want to believe they'll be interested in my work once i finish and then i'll be qualified to say i'm a writer.:-). I got to meet Ebun Olatoye randomly and she's been such a huge help. She answers my questions like she's meant to.

Things are looking up. I'm on the way to where i believe i was meant to be. I just need to keep my focus and stay true to it...cheers.

Fire, fire, fire!! Thank you Lord

I woke up this morning, it was supposed to be a normal day...

Work would start at 8a.m and my ride would leave at 7:15 a.m

My alarm rang, i went to the kitchen and put the kettle on the cooker to boil as PHCN would not give power and i can't use the electric one...

I went to my room to pick what i would wear for the day, then i felt this compulsion to go to the kitchen and take something...

Then what i saw shocked to my my bones, my kitchen was covered in smoke and i managed to go inside...i froze at what i saw!

My cooker was in flames, all over and under it, i have never really seen a fire incident so i was really in pieces. well the proactive side of me took over, i shut down the gas, and was wondering how to put up the flames right in front of me, then common sense told me it was better to have a wet and flooded kitchen than a house on fire, so i started pouring water on the cooker, and finally the fire was out!

And then the shock of what happened finally settled in...i was shalink all over, then i called hubby and woke him up from sleep (he's out of town) and he tried to calm me...he was so sweet on the phone. I didn't even know i was crying till he said..."Ah! you're crying".. then i realised.

He made me seat down for a while, yes over the phone:..) And i was a bit calm. I had my bath and dressed up on auto pilot...i didn'even pay the usual attention to my dressing

The irony is i'm here at work trying to resolve issues and queries while i am in a state of shock myself, i'm just trying to get over it....guess i will by the time the day is over and i am begging that it will be possible and easy for hubby to come home. I am overwhelmed..

Flashback to Sunday, i was in church trying to buy tapes when a thief picked my pocket, my new phone that hubby bought for me was stolen! Chei! I was in love with that phone. My friends and i went for the first service which ended at 9 am but we ended staying for all three services because the person in possesion of the phone who claimed to be a policeman that had retrieved promised to bring it back. well he didn't, guess he changed his mind or finally figured out how to remove the battery since he couldn't switch off since i had a lock code on it.

Another shocking thing that i was just recovering from. I have a new phone and a new sim, and then this?

Well, i guess life's just full of challenges and one has to move over them...

Laters!

Tribute to a friend

Not to Udeme as the guineess advert goes....
To a wonderful friend whom i cherish so much, i know you and you know me, it's between us!
You have been more like a sister to me than a friend
When i think about our meeting, it's really funny, but i think we just had to meet. God had planned it that way.
For several years, i looked for you and one day by divine orchestration, i met you out of the blues...(really?)
We met and that was it!!
Kindred spirits, that's who we are...sometimes we complete each other's statements, we share silly things and we laugh...
You opened up to me, i opened up to you,
We've shared our laughters and our tears
Always there for me even when miles away
You're always so close
When you are away, i miss you so much
But i know you're always there, just a call or e-mail away
You're never too busy for me (i hope you feel the same way.:)
When i think of something or an event occurs, i always think you must hear this..
Just want to say i love being friends with you
You're my best friend always
You'll alway be with me everywhere i go, anywhere you are
Though oceans apart we might be
Dear friend, i carry you in my heart!!!

So long!

It's been a while since i posted anything, just haven't been up to it for some reason or the other, maybe i'll give details in another post.
It just occured to me that the way i've allowed myself not to post anything is the same way we tend to sometimes forget about people we love and care about.
We are so busy attending meetings, making money and doing other important stuff that we unknowingly push people into the background.
It's not like we really intend to forget about them but we're just so busy, our tables are usually too full and we have to clear them.
Yesterday, out of boredom, i watched a home video where the guy was so busy building a business empire and neglecting his wife. Each time she mentioned that she needed his time, he either tried to buy her an expensive gift or told her he was busy trying to make their lives comfortable. Eventually when he travelled for 2 months, his wife fell into the warm embrace of their driver. Don't think i'm excusing adultery, no but hubby was nowhere to be found when his wife needed him.
In this age where it has become extremely important for us to build careers, we need to be extremely careful and check if we are not doing so at the expense of the most important things.
Take a scenario where you've achieved everything you want, you've reached the pinnacle of your career, won several awards but have no one to share it all with. I tell it will be very boring and miserable.
We need people along the way, not as tag alongs but as people we love and share genuinely with.
Today, try to make that phone call you've delayed for so long, send that e mail to the old friend, make a schedule of how to stay in touch with loved ones especially family. It keeps the journey interesting.
Have a fun weekend!

My Birthday With The White Dress

It was my birthday yesterday, you want to guess how old i turned? Then feel free cos i'm not telling at least not today! I just want to gist about the events leading to it and the one of the day. It's a bit long but pls i hope you'll read to the end

Friday

I got a call from my sister in law saying she had bought me a dress which she would like me to come and try on but i couldn't go because i was at work till 8 p.m so i shifted it till the following day.
That evening, hubby got back home from Abuja and asked what we are doing for my birthday and i said i don't know. I really didn't feel like celebrating. I have been having some dark moods recently (See my previous post). He said it's my first after we got married and he thinks i should try to have fun. I agreed

Saturday

We reached a consensus that we would have an outing with some family members and a few friends at a restaurant. It's afterall my birthday and it happens once in a year. I was getting in the moood, thanks to hubby. We ordered a cake that morning and then headed for my sister-in-law's to try the dress. It was love at first sight between the dress and i. It looked so divine in its white colour with the spaghetti straps. I love the dress so i decided to try it and lo and behold, the zip would not go up past the bust. It has a side zip and a band under the bust, the zip just wouldn't pass that point. I called her help to come do the zip, no luck, hubby tried it, no luck so i decided i would take to her office and have one of the tailors help with the cloth.

The tailor took one look at the dress and said "nothing can be done". How would a love affair i just started with this dress just end like that?? It had to blossom. So we went to look for my sister in law where she was making her hair in the salon, she was like she had an idea, we just had to bring the tailor for her to explain to him.

We had to go get my cake so we went to do that and by the time i got to work, i was five minutes late although we still didn't have it. I couldn't be bothered, it was afterall my birthday and i was even singing to myself "Go Writefreak, it's your birthday, we gonna party like it's your birthday".

Hubby picked me up from work and i saw the dress still in the nylon i left it before going to work. I decided to stay in a state of denial, i didn't want to believe it had not been fixed. My birthday dress!

So we got to his sister's and he advised me to bring out the dress, his oldest sister was around and she would help me into the dress or help the dress into me!!! Ha ha ha! So the battle of the dress started, the zip still would not budge, i tried not breathing, i tried to pull my flesh in so the zip would go up, no way! I'm sure you're wondering, writefreak, na wa for you o, all because of a dress, yes o! It was so funny, we were all rolling on the floor with laughter. It just reminded me of Gabrielle in Desperate Housewives Season 2 when she got pregnant and was trying to fit into a size 0 dress (please for my sake, go watch that episode if you haven't and you'll get a picture of what i am talking about).

I decided to give up when the dress got stuck in my suku and it took divine help for it to come out. In that space of time, it was so bad considering i'm a bit claustrophobic. There went my hope of wearing a new dress, i always wear new things on my birthday; celebration or not!

D day
We went to church and from there we went to look for a phone on the Island; hubby's birthday gift to me. I have this "half of an 1100 Nokia", (i call it half because i have used up its original lifetime) which everyone i know has begged me to change but i have refused because i made a deal with hubby that if i used it till my birthday, he would buy me a new phone. You know how we ladies are, we would still like our husbands to buy us things we can afford. We didn't get so we proceeded to Oceanview to make arrangements for celebration in the evening, we did that although we were told we had to pay N2,500 for cake cutting since we didn't buy from them (i told my husband, rubbish!). We then went for lunch where we talked about things that had been on my mind. I don't want to share the details

I didn't know i would have fun like that. I had so much fun just talking and laughing with friends and family i couldn't have imagined having it any other way. I don't take alcohol, or else i would have said i was tipsy. We all had chapman and some finger foods. It was a lot of laughter, a lot of joy shared and i thought look at me, why am i getting depressed? So many people would be envying me. Here i was having a birthday paid for by huby (God bless his dear soul) with so many people showing me love (i had only told them a few hours earlier and they came). I might want more but i definitely don't have a bad life.

I enjoyed my birthday, my friends in real life and blog world aloted and omoalagbede were there. Thanks so much guys and to everyone that was present. It was a beautiful day which hubby made happen for me. How do I say thank you now? I love the guy so much!!!

Addendum
Thanks aloted- I completely forgot to mention how I finally got into the dress! lol. After lunch on my birthday, i decided to give it one last try. So while hubby was in the bathroom, i locked myself in the room and was praying not to be disappointed. First attempt, the zip refused to move and i got some wisdom, why not turn the zip to the front and try the zip and voila it worked! I screamed and hubby was suprised to see me in it when he got out, so was everyone else who had witnessed the 'dress rehearsal' of the day before. My sister-in-law later told me she had an inkling the zip wasn't so good but she knew i would like it and would find a way to wear it. I didn't disappoint her! My persistence paid off!

The thoughts in my head

I have so many thoughts going on in my head these days that i sometimes feel as if i would explode with them. If my head had a typewriter built in and a printer attached, i think i would have spun thousands of pages in the past few days.

The first set of thoughts is the state if dissatisfaction i am in. I am wanting MORE and my head is always screaming it that i wonder if that's really ok. I'm not unhappy about where i am but i need more.

I think that's the way human beings are designed, we always want to progress and leave where we are.

When i was single and living alone, i wanted to get married and live with my man, then i got married and we started living under the same roof. And then work stepped in and took hubby away. So it happened that we became weekend husband and wife, phone bills increased (thank God for free airtime from my office).Then another desire stepped in, i want hubby back! Or i want to live where he is whichever way that will happen. It has become an all consuming desire, it's in my prayers, in my thoughts and my petitions.

Then, i am starting to want another job badly! I am so tired of this one, sometimes i just feel like sitting at home instead of coming to work but it pays the bills. I want to move from this mountain which i have been on for almost two years...Before now, i was kinda content but now i almost can't wait to get out. Maybe what i actually want is not really another job, maybe i just want a better expression of my talent and gifts, maybe i don't want another 9-5 or a shift job..So many maybes

It's also not helping that i am only six months married and everywhere i turn, there are questions about pregnancy. Can't people just leave other people alone? Will they train the child for us when we bring it into the world? Or will they help carry the pregnancy? Or is marriage just for child bearing? Well, that's a story for another day?

These are things that have me awake late in the night, thoughts that are plaguing and will not leave me alone. The loneliness is not helping, it makes me think more...

There are so many things i want that look very faraway....

Well, that's where i was a few days ago when i typed this, not that things have changed physically but update on my next blog

Half of a Yellow Sun

Chimamanda; an author i admire so much has won the Orange Prize for her book "Half of a Yellow Sun". It is an award well deserved because the book is a great read.

She lit a fire in me when i read the book and i am sure it is the same with a lot of other readers. Hubby bought it for me and i could not put it down til i finished!

If you haven't read it, please do, it gives a good picture of the Biafran war especially to those of use who were not present then....

Congratulations on the award!

My Big Fat Goof

I goofed this last weekend and it cost me a few things including money, thank God it wasn't more than what it was.

Somehow my work schedule was changed last weekend and i didn't have the full information. Normally i would work for six straight days in a shift cycle and then go off for three days. So when i was told that another cycle was starting on saturday after two days off for my office to run a test, i just counted six days and since I was determined i wasn't going to work weekend, i got a replacement to work for me, on Saturday and Sunday (it cost some money.I wanted to spend the weekend with hubby and family. I had no information that my team, would go off on Sunday and then resume for seven days.

I forgot my phone at a friend's saturday/sunday so no one from the office could reach me. I was incommunicado! On Sunday morning, i saw a colleague at church and asked why she didn't go to work then she told me NO WORK!

Alas i had done work that no one sent me and went uappreciated...plus i had to drop a few bucks. Not to forget the fact that my supervisor was upset with me and sent a very strongly worded mail to the team as a result.

I really felt bad about it but i feel better now. Just think writing about it would help and laughing about it like hubby suggested would help and i guess it has.

Updates on other things later

Proliferation of Religious Groups and Activities on Lagos/ Ibadan Expressway; Way Forward?

Going to Ibadan from Lagos has become a harrowing experience for travellers these days, one can never tell how the road will be. It can take up to 7 hoursl; the same length of time one would spend travelling to Abuja by road from Lagos. I for one have been a witness on at least three occasions.

The express has become a haven for many religious bodies and there are of the nuparticular weekends to avoid on the express especially the first and last Saturdays of the month. One merous religious groups will definitely be engaged in their activities on one of these Saturdays. At a few kilometres apart on the express, one sees signboards of different churches especially.

I am not averse to Christianity or worship. Infact i am a professed believer and i love to worship God but i believe that Christians should be socially responsible, maybe even more than people of other faith. Maybe this is why i get angry when i am on the express and i am wasting precious time because my brothers and sisters in Christ have just had a programme and somehow the roads are congested. You even find some of them driving one way!

Some of the bodies have gotten their acts down and cause not so much traffic anymore but the rest have to work at it and save Nigerians the stress we face. I remember a trip last year around the Easter period when a popular church had a programme, i spent 8 hours travelling to Ibadan, it made me almost hate the church, i was disgusted! "Why should i suffer like this because a church is having a programe?" were my thoughts.

One definitely cannot say all the groups should move, (although one wonders if the camp sites HAVE to be around here) but maybe they should find a means of controlling their traffic and people. At least some groups have come up with different parking spaces which has in a way solved the traffic from their end.

The religious groups on the express should rise up and become and become socially responsible and stop causing unnecessary traffic. Time is too precious for that!

All Hail Timi as he wins Idols West Africa

I was with my family on Saturday night at M cafe located in the Silverbird Galleria when my phone beeped, it was an SMS from my great friend so i promptly opened it and it said: Guess who won idols- Timi :). I was so excited that i forgot myself and where i was and i let out a scream (meanwhile, i've been told to keep it low for three weeks by my doc cos i have laryngitis from voice overuse, i completely forgot!). So back to i let out a scream and all eyes were on me! I had to defend myself so i told them you guys don't know what happened, if you did, you'd understand. Immediately i got a chorus of "whats", i replied them, "Timi just won West African Idols".

Everyone started talking at the same time. "Who told you?" "How did you know?", "Were you there?" Then i said guys come on, "i wasn't there, we've been here together but people went". They were still in doubt so i though to myself you doubting thomases, wait till Sunday night though my husband believed me and said that's great.

Somehow i had known Timi was going to win after Jodie left. Although i initially lost faith in the competition, i decided to renew my trust and help make the person that deserves it the winner. I convinced as many people as i could to vote for Timi and voted a number of times myself. I can justify wanting him to win, out of all the last two contestants, he's been the one with the most consistent performance in the competition (let's overlook the fact that he forgot his lines some day and chose a Yoruba song - Sunny Nneji's "Oruka" that he did not really know).

By the time i was watching the show on Sunday, i could relax and watch with my critical eye, i already knew the winner (although i fault the presenters for this, the final show should have been live, for some people, it took out the fun). It kicked off with 5 out of the top 10 singing a song that i think didn't really go well. Then Mike Magic in his usual dry state took the stage (please someone should tell the guy to find another career, he's not cut out for this) and introduced Timi, taking us back to his first audition, the guy just got better as the show progressed. Then he sang the song the judges considered one of his best. He did well.

We were also taken back to Omawumi's first audition and she looked so innocent there (i wonder what happened). She sang "Survival' and she put up a good performance. Next they both sang songs they considered their best on the show.

The performance that blew my mind was Jodie and Uche's duet (which Mike kept calling "duwet"(someone please teach him pronounciation o) , it was a really nice performance. I kind of expected it since Jodie had said at her last stage performance that she would like to sing a duet with him when Mike questioned her. They had a chemistry on stage and delivered the song well. It worked (wek d) for us (let me borrow Nana's diction).

The highlight of the night was when the two top contestants sang a song each that we had never heard before. Their own singles! Timi dazzled the audience with his song. The only line i remember is "I love you, i love you..". It was a really nice song. Then came Omawumi. I was disappointed when i saw her dress. Who says you have to be nude to be a "diva". Forgive me, i think i'm from the old school but that dress was quite indecent. We're Africans, we don't go nude, we can be sexy without looking outrageous...well, i'll save that. Her song too was good but it sounded like something i had heard before.

Then came the moment we had all been waiting for, "...and the winner of the first West African Idols is...", there was a long pause, a really long one. Timi looked like he was breathing through his mouth, Omawumi also looked very scared. And Mike Magic finally announced "... is Timi". The guy couldn't contain it, he was weeping profusely, knelt down on the stage and once he got up, he broke into this song that would soon be his single which Dan is looking forward to jamming very soon on Cool FM.

Meanwhile why is Dede going all tribalistic on us? WAI is not a Niger Delta show, it's nice to be patriotic but i think he went too far with it. Afterall, the show is not even a Nigerian thing, it's a West Africa thing. I guess he's just being a typical Nigeria. Everyone from our tribe is our brother or sister.

So that's how Timi became the first Idol in West Africa. I hope he realises his dreams and achieves his full potential and like Dede advised him, "he should not forget where he came from".

I will now rest from blogging about this show. Which one concern me sef? They wan share me anything? Guys, i'm out!

Recipe for Love

I was inspired yesterday by a friend to write down these things when i asked if he had a girlfriend and he said yes. I asked him the question because he was making me laugh a lot, very funny guy (if you're reading this, i hope you don't mind), anyway i told him i'm sure his girlfriend has a great time with him because he'll be making her laugh a lot. And then he said it is possible he makes other people laugh and no matter how much clowning he does, if his girlfriend is not happy with him, she is not. Sadly, this is true for a lot of people, they can converse freely with other people, laugh with them but their relationships with their partners are going awry or lacking spice. How many times have relationships ended because of these reasons: "we have fallen out of love", "he does not appreciate me", "she does not respect me" etc. I think i know some ingredients for a loving and lasting relationship. I haven't been at this long enough i know, i only got married 6 months ago but i was in a relationship that lasted 6 years and ended in marriage to my wonderful husband. There are principles which do not change over time and i'd like to share them.

Here are some tips i think are important for a wonderful and loving relationship:

* Laugh together - Laugh at yourselves, there are things that happen everyday that we can choose to laugh about. Joke about your mistakes, don't be touchy...Just look enough you will see reasons to laugh.

* Avoid criticism- You really don't have to mention everything that goes wrong, criticism kills a relationship. Find loving ways to communicate correction (note i said correction not criticism). Human beings generally do not like being corrected, the only way it's palatable is when we're sure the other person is looking out for our interest and is not proving superior.

*Pray together- An old saying goes "a family that prays together stays together", i guess that says it all.

*Give gifts- "You can give without loving, you cannot love without giving". Your gifts don't need to be expensive, the thought does it for most people especially if you're like me.

*Spice it up- Don't be dry, find interesting things to do with each other and share some interests. Your own interest might be watching movies together, do it as often as you can, it might be swimming, just think of anything you can do together for fun.

*Respect- Respect, i beg to differ is not domination!! Respect according to the dictionary in simple terms is the condition of being esteemed or honored. The other person wants to feel like you value them. Show some respect. If you're married, don't invite guests over without notifying your spouse, it shows a sign of disrespect. The first time some people hear of something going on with their partner is when their friends say it to their hearing. Show some respect for each other! Always ask yourself before doing something, will it honour or show esteem for my partner? And women, massage the guy's ego. Every man likes to feel he's in charge, i know it's hard in these days of "girl power" but hey, what's most important to you: emancipation or a loving lasting relationship?

*Be open- Don't keep secrets. Try to be each other's best friends. It might be hard initially but it will get easier as you practise this and go a long way in making a wonderful relationship.

*Be committed- Falling in love is a wonderful feeling, a euphoric feeling which you want to have forever. You catch the guy's eyes on the other side of the room and current passes all over your body...girl believe me, this only lasts so much time! The reason most people claim to have fallen out of love is they they think love is that gooey feeling. I'm not saying the feeling will not be there but sometimes you won't have it...Love is most importantly a commitment!

These are a few tips, i could go on and on but they will all revolve around these few theories i guess. Most importantly, the bible teaches us a lot about love and if you're interested you can model 1Cor 13 :4-7 in your relationship, you will never have to fall out of love if you follow the principles stated there. This portion of scriptures says:
Love is patient, love is kind.It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Just ponder on those verses, do you think that with them you could ever go wrong in love? I sincerely doubt.
Falling in love is a wonderful thing, being in love is great and staying in love is awesome! It's like old wine, it gets better with the years.
I'm grateful i have found love and i thank God for giving me a husband who teaches me to love daily. Thanks baby, you're the best! To those of you who are still looking for love, i pray you find it and if you have found it, i pray for the grace to hold on to it and be able to stay.

Encounters with Naija Police

Recently i was watching NUMBERS; one of the numerous series that film makers are occupying us with and i told God! death and sleep no be the same thing at all...Yoruba people will say "a o le fi iku we orun" (same thing i wrote in English)....Naija police need a lot of help. The way the FBI operates in that series, i know is probably exaggerated but carries an element of truth.

They have access to information; our own police, can some of them even read properly? How many of them can even boot a computer? The police want to nab yahoo guys (fraudsters) who operate mainly on the internet but they cannot use or do not have access to the internet...quite hilarious isn't it? How will they catch a monkey if they cannot even pretend to be one? Just thinking...

Now i think that's even taking it too far. The other day, my husband was on his way to the airport and the police stopped him (as usual, they always stop and search him...only God knows why!). They were asking for his particulars! God in heaven! How can a human being have particulars??? Please help me laugh o! Well, sharp guy, he gave them the right answer. " am not a car! What would you like me to do for you?". They ended up searching through his things, from office documents to personal effects. i wonder what they were looking for? Have you noticed how they stop you when they think you are young and doing well...it's disturbing.

After talking to over a hundred subscriber sometime back, a colleague and i were going home (he was driving) and they stopped us a few metres from the office....
Police: Hey stop!
My Colleague: Ok
Police : Are you coming from (they mentioned my company name)?
Colleague:Yes
Police: Where did you get money to buy this fine car? You these small boys, they will be paying you big money, next thing, you will take one million naira loan then go and buy flashy cars, this world is spoilt..

My colleaugue and i look at each other and share a knowing smile. We were stopped for driving a nice car...hmmmph! Anyway, after waiting a while, they told us we could go after the most confrontational one of them offered "some fatherly advice".

So who do we blame for all these? I could count on and on or write on and on about encounters with the police...who is to blame? The government? The policemen themselves? Anyway, i know the government could do a bit more for our police force, what with being paid stipends and also they could also do better in their services. A lot of them see their guns and sticks more as tools of oppression than protection. A lot could change really. We have seen some change agents among them that will not even accept bribes.

I dream of the Nigeria where the police will in truth be able to say "the police is your friend" as their slogan is!

About West African Idols

Jodie was my West African Idol, she still is, whatever the situation or the amount of people that refused to vote her! The chic was just too good, she could deliver on any type of song and a lot of people share this sentiment with me, i think....So why would i not be surprised to see her leave the show, i just heard on Monday as i was watching :"Jodie, Africa voted and you are not safe", initially i thought it was a joke and she would make it until the presenter saidJodie had the least votes and she was going home.....I was shocked! Just the previous day, the judges were singing her praises. I took it upon myself to sample opinion in my work place and we were all rooting for this lady of wonderful talent. So how could Africa not have voted for the best talent or at least one of the best on the show? What exactly happened? Don't people recognise talent when they see one? Infact, i made a drastic decision, i am no longer watching the show, that was my idol and she is not there anymore. I don't switch loyalty easily...i'm sure you are saying i should chill out! That is my decision anyway

I have been thinking about this and it has sparked a few thoughts which i want to share..

The best man does not always win! It is not by might nor is it by power, sometimes it is not even by talent. It is definitely by favour and God's grace! Look at Jerrilyn, she definitely does not have talent anywhere near Jodie, at least when it comes to singing but she is still on the show. Somehow, some people like her and will not let her get out of the show without a fight! I don't think this is because she is the best singer, i think it is because they favour her.

So i have decided that although it is good to be good, it is best to be favoured! For me and people that are dear to me, i will continue to pray that favour will stand us out and prevail for us. I don't think it will be too much to say we should always pray for God's favour.

Well, i am still not exonerating africans for voting the wrong people and i am still not liking the show anymore but favour makes all the difference. So may we all be favoured!