Unwanted Attention!

She was going to meet her hubby for a night out, he was on the Island, they were going to see a movie, it was about 7pm, she was looking very good that evening after taking special care to make herself look beautiful that evening.

She waited for a cab, looked like most of them didn't want to go to the Island and she was beginning to wonder if she would find one, it looked like all the cab drivers had sworn off the Island. Then a brand new Honda drove past, the guy took a look, drove forward a bit and parked his car. Then he walked back towards her and said 'hey, how you doing?' She gave him a killer look then he said 'sorry i have seen your wedding ring, just admiring you', a cab came along and she walked off briskly to negogiate with the cab driver.

Some days later she was walking on her street, a few guys who looked like they were in their early twenties stood outside a boutique doing the usual jobless guy thingy, probably passing comments about any lady walking on the road. One walked towards her and sad hello, she raised her eyebrows and said hello with a question mark. He said 'i just...'She didn't let him finish, all the while she was walking, she turned back, gave him another look that said 'back off' and waslked off wondering what it was with her and these randon guys.

She got to the filling station where she was going to buy fuel and the filling station attendant was stepping to her. He said 'omoge bawo ni' (young lady, how're you?). 'This rubbish will not end', she thought, 'do i carry a mark on my head that says 'guys step to me'? She decided to pretend not to understand Yoruba. Some riff raffs, that's what she'll call them also atttempted to say hi and she pretended she could not hear them. Seething she carried her fuel and left the filling station. She has been negotiating with a cab guy in the station and the guys were trying to butt in, when the cab guy decided to go her way, the guys were shouting 'omoge, ma bo' (young lady,come back), She didn't turn back afterall at the moment, she didn't understand Yoruba. She walked to the junction with her keg of fuel and the cab driver came there to meet her.

A boy in the market grinding pepper was very rude. The pepper seller gave the pepper to him to grind for her and when she asked him for it, he told her 'lo gba nylon wa' (go and collect nylon for me). She wanted to be sure he was addressing her and she asked him. He shouted back and said 'en iwo ni mo n ba wi, se oo gbo ni'(i am talking you, yes, can't you hear me). She was so upset, she gave him a piece of her mind not minding she was in the market..'oo ri pe o baje, i de go, iwo alaileko omo yi, se mo jo egbe e ni' (You are very rude and have no training, do i look like your mate?). She stormed off and told the pepper seller to go and pick up the pepper or give her money back to her. The woman was very apologetic and all the women around apologised for the guy's obvious rudeness. She was still seething. Someone advised her to go and add some weight so she could look her weight or dress a in a more matured manner. What is wrong with wearing jeans and a nice top?

She has several other tales...she wonders if it's a commong thing with all ladies or is it that she just doesn't look her age. She is a young woman who is closer to 30 than 25...she just wonders..It is said to be a good thing though and she should be flattered that guys always look her way...maybe she's a little bit flattered...

And yes you guessed right, it's moi!I am a married woman- very happily so if i may add, guys back off!

9JA Parties & Money Spraying

I don't really like attending parties but had to attend two this weekend. I just don't like sitting down at a party and eating and drinking, seems like a waste of time to me…I guess that's strange for a Nigerian. Naija!!! We love parties!!! Every opportunity to get together and make merry and wine and dine is welcome. It's not like I don't attend parties but I just want to make sure it's important I am there...I guess they can be time wasters! But sa, I still love the way people party, have fun and laugh...we have a rich culture i must say! Anyway my digression is too much. The post is not about me and whether I like parties or not...who am i out of at least 50 million Nigerians who love to party! Lol

So a friend of mine from Uni days got married this last weekend and I went to perform my friendly duty. Thursday was the engagement; I drove over two hours to get there...thanks to the useless traffic in Lagos. They were just starting when I got there and I could see a live band already set up. It reminded me of my own wedding, we had a live band too and the guy just wouldn't stop playing even after the engagement had long finished and all the dancing groups had left the dance floor. The guy was out for blood...lo...he had to make money from spraying!

That brings me to my point...i thought the Federal Government had banned the spraying of money at parties! This weekend changed my mind though and made me wonder if we can ever lose this culture that is so ingrained in our system! It's like a part of our make up...you think parties, you think lots of food and drinks, dancing, you think spraying the celebrant money...and so on.

So I went for my friend's wedding on Saturday and it was time for the couple to dance, a lot of people had been abiding by the rule not to spray money at parties or so I thought and assumed it would be the same here. I didn't go with mint...lol

Some people had improvised at other parties I attended where they placed a tray in front of the dancing couple or celebrant for the money to be dropped but to tell you the truth, that doesn't have the feel of spraying money at least to me. So here we were at my firend's wedding and people were spraying money, no one was stopping them! And me sef i went and sprayed some money...lol...(got someone to change money for me)

Yesterday also, my neighbour (Mrs Neighbour) was celebrating the birth of her son...this son was born almost 3 months ago o! You see when I say any opportunity to have a party is welcome in Naija..she invited hubby and I, We really didn't want to go but she made a big point of it and even her husband invited us. They started like 4 pm and from our flat, we could hear the loud music being played, she lives opposite my house o...anyway, we went there like past 7pm and stayed for about 30 minutes. Aproko that we are, we were wondering like how much money they would have spent...there were beer and wine bottles on all the tables, people were still drinking, they had Asun (barbeque goat...hope i'm right..lol)...in short enough to eat.

Mrs Neighbour and a few of her friends were dancing to an Obey record when we got there..and yes, they were spraying money!!! And no, you're wrong; I didn't get up to spray this time. Me and hubby even looked like misfits there with everyone dressed in native attires and us wearing jeans and Tshirts and not taking any of the drinks offered except water and juice. Sure they thought we were aliens...hehehe

Anyway, so they were spraying money and it made me wonder if the law would ever hold water in Naija! Or if it will go like the way of most policies that are implemented for a short while and soon after they're forgotten.

What do you thing guys, can we ever stop spraying money at our parties? Is it a good law or is it unimportant? Does spraying money mean we don't value our currency??? I really don't know where I stand, to be honest...but I can live with any!

I have a testimony, PHCN has finally decided to give us a routine and for the past one and half weeks, we have power supply between 12 midnight and 12 noon...praise the Lord!

Have a great week y'all!

Nephew's Antics!

My sister in law has a 20 month old son and i love him to bits! He's my pal (as most kids are) and i have taught him a lot of antics but the boy is getting beyond me o...help! I have Yahoozee on my phone and sometimes play it for him, now when he sees me, he brings the phone to me and says ''Yahoo'' so i play it for him and believe me, the boy knows a few of the yahoozee steps...sometimes i wonder, have i been a good influence? lol. He knows how to peck when you say give me a peck, he holds your neck and gives you one on both cheeks, he's adorable when he does it! He knows how to chop knuckle and high five...and he sometimes tranlates some of his words into yoruba language, incase you didn't hear him in English.

For example
Nephew: Jimme gasses (meaning Give me glasses). He loves wearing glasses, he's fascinated with them. When i am wearing fashion glasses i can allow him but not my prescription ones
Me: What? (Pretending not to know what he has said)
Nephew: Jimme gasses
Me: No
Nephew: (Now raising his voice) Funmi gasses..

I just burst out laughing because i didn't expect him to get so creative and no he didn't get the glasses...lol

He knows where to take off the TV if you're watching something he doesn't want. He takes it off, stands triumphant in front of the TV and shouts Bayin! (Barney). The first time i saw him do it, i was amazed...now he just shouts Bayin all over the house, i wonder what is with kids and that Barney sef!

He has taken to sometimes calling his mum 'Honey' because his father calls her that...lol
For a long time, my husband and i had the same name to him, he just decided one day to call us both the same name and i had to answer by force, now when i see him, he calls Aunty like 50 times, thank God for school in his life...

Now to what baffles me, a few days ago...since i work from home now and he had an eye accident at home, i said his mum should send him over instead of sending him to the school with his black eye...so he came over to my house and spent the whole day. I was dressing up, then he came into the room, i didn't see any need to send him out...then he looked at me and said ''See your best (breast)''. I was so shocked i asked what he said and he raised his voice this time and shouted ''See your byest''. How can a twenty month old say something like that??? I promptly sent him out of the room and found him a toy in the living room. God have mercy!

A few weeks ago, his mum had mentioned that he was begging her for byest as she fed his sister. He demanded water and when they brought it, he shook his head and pointed to her chest as she breast fed the baby. She told him no, it's for baby and the next thing he was saying ''pyis, jimme some''...she refused but i guess his fasination with breasts started sometime around then...

So when i read a blog last week and the topic was whether to bath with our kids, i say NO, i shall not be bathing with my kids, thank you! These days they say amazing things!!!

Do you have any kids antics? Please share! Lol

He loves me even as I'm a year older!!!

Recently i got discouraged, disappointed and depressed about some things that have happened in my life (some i might share later) and i was wondering if God really loved me but when i sat down and thought about a few events that took place also, i can't doubt that He loves me. And don't i always say He never promised us a trouble free life? He just said he will be with us even in the fire...it means the fire might come!

These two events remind me of God's love for me and i want to share them...

Several weeks back, i was driving from Victoria Island through Kingsway road in Ikoyi and was going to pick hubby up from work. There was a bit of traffic, i was giving a colleague of mine a lift...we were the last in line, picture all these things as i say them. The car had given me some signs i didn't like earlier so i decided to wind down. I was feeling very good, chic driving a nice car, chatting with colleague listening to music...it was getting dark, like i said we were the last in line....traffic stopped moving, the street light was red for us...next thing, i saw a hand stretch into the car and my first thought was this beggar is very brave sa!

Then he was saying something,my music was too loud, i couldn't hear him, then i heard ...''sisters, your phone, now!''...
I thought oh am i being robbed, silly i know, wasn't it obvious i was going to be robbed. When i got my present phone, a Nokia N73 music edition, (i had just had a Nokia N73 that was my birthday gift last year stolen from me in less than a month that he gave me...so this one was a replacement), i prayed over it and told God this one must not be stolen....why should i keep losing things when i pay my tithe...it's worked because on several occasions i'd have lost it but i digress. It was in my pocket, usually i would put it in the cup holder but as i was leaving the office, i had the urge to put it in my pocket which i obeyed...it wasn't in view...one problem though, my colleague was holding hers and was too frozen to do anything...the robber was right beside her! It was dark, the phone was black so i guess he didn't really see.

My brain switched into action mode and i quickly did the central lock waiting for my opportunity to do wind up...thank God for automatics these days...well he found me out so he said..''don't do anything funny, this is acid...'', he pushed a bottle forward.. ''and i've got a gun''..., he showed us. Who wants to find out if it's real acid or a toy gun...I was muttering Jesus and was determined not to give him my phone...risky i know! But i felt very bold at the time...

My handbag was on the backseat so i told him, 'you'll have to hold on, my bag is at the back and it has my phone in it. I'm driving so i can't reach for the bag, i'll need to pack to give it to you''...I was waiting for my opportunity, my hand was on the window control, i saw his hand move from my window to adjust something on him and i quickly wound up...wow, one hurdle crossed, he was going to pound on the window or something...and right in front of me, i saw the traffic move, that very minute!

I pressed on the accelerator and the car refused to move, guess it was my panic, my colleague shouted ''move the car'' and i shouted back ''i am trying to move''...Well the car accelerated and i sped like i haven't done before, taking the next available turn...it was then my brain realised what had just happened and i was shaking...I immediately placed a call to hubby and told him...''i just acted in a home video...and was saved miraculously''. He was probably more shaken than i was...lol

I've heard of people being robbed in traffic, it was my first experience, and God saved me. I'll never be robbed!!! God loves me

The second incident was last week, i'd just gotten some unexpected news, seemed like bad news at the time and hubby came to pick me from work...i needed to get to the publishers so he dropped off in his office and gave me the car. It was a bit of a stretch from Ikoyi to Onika..the car acted funny twice like it was going to stop but continued moving and i was wondering what could be wrong. It was only serviced a few days before then...i was now on Awolowo road, then i got almost to the end and it stopped.

A Total filling station was just a few metres ahead...then i remembered the fuel guage wasn't working...we usually fill it up once a week over the weekend..i called hubby to find out if he filled the tank over the weekend...it was a tuesday and he said oh no, he forgot. So i thought, it must be fuel and right in front of me was a filling station. How would i get the fuel? Some guy selling stuff along the road waslked up to me, found a jerry can, took money and went to buy the fuel, got a funnel and filled the car. I started it and my suspicion was confirmed, it was fuel!

I asked myself loads of questions...what if the car had stopped very far away from a fillign station? It could have, it had given me the signs but God worked it out in my favour...

Oh i said two things but i shouldn't forget to add that it was my birthday on Tuesday the 17th, i'm glad He added another year to my life. Unlike most of my birthdays, this one was mostly quiet till the evening when hubby and i with a few family members went for dinner at a Chinese restaurant..i got a nice set of Swarovski jewellery from him and a new frame for my glasses! yippee! Thank you Lord for keeping me!

We might feel unloved by God, circumstances might seem not to be in our favour but when we look deep enough, we find reasons to be joyful and thankful...

He loves me and He loves you!

Quirky Stuff About Me + Quick Update!

I got tagged ages ago by aloted and sagacite but i've been too busy to update my blog...

The rules are:
1. Link the person who tagged you to this post
2. Mention the rules in your blog
3. Tell 6 unspectacular quirks of yours
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged

This meme is about any particular mannerism you have, ok?

I did something a while back like this, hope i can still find six things i haven't said...how quirky can a human being get?

1. I tend to forget things everywhere i go. It's so bad that when something is out of place in the office, like a glass of water by the workstation, someone is calling my name. Last week i left my phone in a cab, i got it back though...

2. My first real boyfriend is my husband...(is that quirky?) and he was the one that taught me to kiss...OMG, did i just say that?

3. I would rather write my deepest feelings than say them. I write better than i speak. When hubby and i first started dating, i would write him letters to say how i felt. I just could not bring myself to say i love you in words or tell my friends how much i mean to them. I could write two full pages though...is that weird? Think i've outgrown that a bit but i think i still write better than i speak. Reminds me of an issue i had to thrash with someone at work, so i could express myself well, i had to send an email...lol

4. I have very very few friends but loads of acquaintances...I choose my friends like you would choose a lover..maybe i don't choose but we have to have a deep connection..like a spark..am i weird?

5. I don't drink coffee anymore...i cannot stand the smell.I used to like it but now even the smell makes my stomach churn...i move away once i see you holding a cup of coffee

6. I hate taking orders from anyone! Is that a problem? I'd rather just do my own thing...

Ok i think i have tried with the quirky stuff, though i wonder if they're really quirky..i am tagging favoured girl..everyone else seems to have done this!

On Me..

I have been so busy recently i have not even been able to do my blog rounds..TV production is a lot of work! But it's fun all the same..I finally finished my episodes and i had my first baptism into the world of being a producer...already thinking of greater things...open my eyes oh Lord!

It's my birth month, my birthday is in less than two weeks and i'm wondering how it'll be this year...second one as a Mrs..hubby made sure i enjoyed the last one, see my post on my last brithday here

Now that i'm taking my writing more seriously, doors are starting to open...there's so much to do, so much i can do...it brings me to the conclusion...i am a writer at heart and for real!

Will try to stay here more often, thanks for looking for me aijay and afrobabe...I'm here!

Mrs Neighbour and other Women!

So i was having a discussion with a few of my colleagues today and someone out of the blues asked a question; if your hubby happened to have a mistress, how would you deal with it? I was the only married person around, so i took it personal...lol...i said my hubby cannot have a mistress, so i cannot come up with how i would react...she goes what if? I said no, there is no what if! And i am right, hubby is God fearing, never been randy and more importantly, i pray for God to keep him and He does! I know he won't!

Anyway, i digress, the gist is not really about hubby and i...apparently my colleague was reading some stuff online and most women responded that it is not a new thing for their men to cheat and so long as they have their place, it's OK.

We went on to discuss how it is actually more of a norm for women to think that way and that the women who think their men would not cheat or do not have a right to cheat are in a minority like me! Ladies, what do you think? Then i go back memory lane, i was in 200 level in OAU and my roommates are having a discussion and they come up with one conclusion,

their husbands have to slap them around at least once so they can respect him!

I was in the minority, i was like what? God forbid, if a man slaps me, i would find it hard to get over it. In fact i thought what would i have to do for the guy to get to that point?? Haba! I digress again but my point is actually that it buttresses to me that some women actually have this mindset...

So fast forward to eight years, i meet a neighbour at a salon, we never knew we were neighbours (not like next door, her house is adjacent mine)...you know how conversations go in salons, so we got talking! For the purpose of this post and subsequent ones if i get to do them, i shall call her Mrs neighbour. My own thought was God have mercy, this woman can talk. In the one hour we spent together, i could summarise her love life story! She had been married to a young guy and somehow they had family interference and after their first kid, they got a divorce. She is now married to a much older man who was a divorcee...and although she's had some issues with the family, everything is ok and she is even pregnant with their first child together...Congratulations! lol

So we walked to our street together, actually that's how we knew we were neighbours and we exchanged numbers after we found out we were even from the same state...maybe i shouldn't have but for now, I'll save that gist...so we start to keep in touch once in a while, me mainly by text messages. She made the first move to visit me...will save that gist too for now, cos i am digressing too much now! Mrs neighbour starts talking about different things and i only nod or laugh and she mentions she knows her husband has girlfriends but that once they don't come near her house, and her position is secure, she has no problem with it. She goes on to mention a few of her friends who know about their husbands' affairs and how they don't seem to mind...She mentioned a few who reacted and how things turned out badly.

By now, i was telling myself, writefreak, what have you gotten yourself into? Who is this woman? Yours truly just sat down there smiling a foolish smile and thinking, this woman and i are worlds apart.

So i got myself a friend who thinks it's ok, her husband can cheat on her so long as she has her place in his home, she has friends who believe the same thing, she is married to a man who can almost be my father, the list continues...and i am trying my best to keep her at bay and get her off my back...

Guess i will continue with Mrs Neighbour part 2. Will love to hear what you have to say. Do you think it's right for a lady to expect her hubby/man to cheat on her? Do men have to beat women to earn respect? It annoys me even as i type the question!

Wanted!

Hi people, do you know any lady who has helped another lady achieve something great, maybe to start a business, go to school or was there for the person in a trying time, i need examples of such people as i am working on something that is meant to showcase ladies who have been there for each other

Also do you know anyone who used to be a member of Reverend Kings' church and has now left? I am working on a feature on him and i need such people to be interviewed...

Do you know anyone who has a very good relationship with their father...a daughter or son, a relationship that is a model one, it could be a biological or foster father, also need such people for a feature i am working on

Good people, i hope to hear from you soon...

Please note that these people should be resident in Nigeria so it would be easy to get through to them.

Thank you

Right Direction!

Oh my it's been almost a month since i updated! Men i have been so busy, just three weeks after i did my last post, i got a call to attend an interview, i applied to be a writer somewhere...it's amazing how you see opportunities when you decide to! I had always told myself there were limited writing roles...until i decided i was going to do things in line with my gift!

So i went for the interview, and like 25 people were there, i was shocked because i didn't expect that many people! Well i knew i could do it! Lemme not bore you with the details, i was eventually 5 out of the 25 people that made the list! To think i wasn't considering a job anymore, infact i had to think hard about it! But it was an opportunity in the very right direction, i get to write and some good exposure to TV...might give the job details later, for now, let's leave it at that.

Truth is the money isn't the motivation, infact, if that was it then i shouldn't have taken the job but to tell you the truth, i have decided money does not necessarily have to come from work, there are different ways of making money, i love my new job and i am so enjoying it! And i am meeting loads of people! It's fun.

On the book side, i have sent it to some publishers and i am getting some feedbac, not bad ones, i'm praying it is accepted! So join me in praying for a quick acceptance...that book's gotta be published real soon!

God has been good to me, there are still things i am believing Him for, of course we always have to believe, and i know He will do exceedingly abundantly more than i could ever ask or think in His time! What do you think guys maybe i should write something on God's time....

Hope not to stay away too long this time...just been very very busy!

I'm Coming Out!

As i write i sing this song, only i have forgotten the artist who sang it...doesn't matter though...at least not to me! It captures the essence of how i feel

I'm coming
I'm coming out
I want the world to know...

Where have i been? I haven't even visited my own blog in weeks! See, my people so much has been happening!

This update is not about any inspiring topic, it's about moi and things that have been happening in my life in the past few weeks that i've been awol, nah it's not another Ghana trip, this time it's a journey of my life.

Ok so i finally quit! I stepped out in faith, after much deliberation and prayer between hubby and i, we decided it was time to move out of the comfort zone and launch my net into the deep! After several months of dissatisfaction and asking myself shall i, shall i not, I acted on my own message, sat at my computer and sacked my boss! Yes i mean i fired my boss! I had typed a sample of my resignation about 6 months earlier, just did not have enough guts to do it but i guess the time is right now!

To a lot of colleagues and friends, i took a very wrong decision, why would you leave a job you have at hand for something you do not have yet? So many tried to dissuade me. So are you going to become a housewife now? A bird in hand is better than two in the bush! No! I beg to disagree...the bird in your hand might be dead already, why not go look for something fresh? Why cling to something that is dying or not meeting your needs!

No man would ever excel without taking risks. If i do not pursue my dreams now or fulfill the nudges in my heart, when will i get to do these things? Life is not about getting a job and just doing it. For me, it's about doing something i love and contributing my quota to my society...i have been able to sit down and come up with a few things i love to do and after 6 years of graduation, i am reinventing myself and on the path to becoming the best that i can be! I am still thinking and working on it and oh yes i will get there!

And of course! Thanks to my wondeful hubby who sees the best in me all the time and encourages me to acknowledge the good things in me!

Lesson from an ATM Machine- Just One More Push!

I slotted my card into the ATM machine, and heard 'please enter your secret number', i did this and punched in the amount i wanted. I waited, and all of a sudden it flashed, 'financial institution not available'. I removed my card, pissed at my bank, 'damn! that always happens when you need money desperately'. I had been through this same road so many times, it was like dejavu, this always happens! There was a particular day i tried my card in several machines throughout the whole day and i got no cash, i mean ZILCH.

I turned back and was going to leave the bank, then it occured to me to try the card again, it was immediately, i argued with myself that the financial institution would still be unavailable but decided to give it the benfit of doubt, i slotted it in, and repeated the procedure i knew too well, i heard the sound of the macine bringing out money and almost couldn't believe it. It gave me CASH! Thank God, i whispered as i retrieved my cash and card.

I walked out of the bank feeling good and then i heard within me, 'hope you learnt a lesson there' and i thought what lesson. It then occured to me there have been several times i've given up too soon on things i should have done because they were not working out the way i thought they should. I would try and once i thought whatever it was i was doing wasn't working, subconsciously i dropped it.

I had memories of times i had tried to do things and it looked like i failed and i had allowed such memories to hinder me sometimes in persevering in other things till i got what i wanted. As i saw the message 'financial institution not available', i remembered the so many times i had inserted my atm card and got that message over and over all day and that almost stopped me from trying one more time. Sometimes, it's just the one more time that's needed to get us to our desire or goal but we give up too soon.

It occured to me i had to wipe out of my brain or choose not to remember the different times things have not worked out. I have to be willing to persevere for whatever i want and always try the one more push which sometimes makes a difference between a woman giving birth through CS and a woman doing natural birth. Sometimes, it's just the willingness to push one more time that makes the difference!

Can i Walk on Water???

Step on the water, you can do it, walk towards me, yes you can walk on the water...as you see me do it, you also can...

He stepped on the water in response,he was actually walking on it! doing the impossible! He could do it, he was ecstatic! And then he looked around, he looked at the water, he looked at the rest of the people in the boat, they're not doing the same thing he's doing...no, he definitely can't be doing this! He was defying natural laws, it was impossible, how could he? Then he noticed he was losing his stand, gradually he began to sink...he couldn't do what he did just a few minutes ago anymore, he had considered the outward circumstances and all the false evidences appearing real...so he started to sink

Then he called to Him and He stretched forth his hand and caught him saying 'O you of little faith, why did you doubt?' His name is Jesus and his name is Peter. Jesus told Peter he began to sink because he allowed circumstances around him to dictate his response.

I'm so sure most of us are familiar with this story, yeah it's from the bible and when i think deeply about it, it applies to my daily life and that of most of us. I want the circumstances to be right before doing anything, i know what to do inside me but i want to wait for the signs, i don't want to step out on a limbo...i don't want to walk in blind faith but He says that's the way to go...

Without faith it is impossible to please God, without faith one cannot reach the great heights of life, without faith, we can not step out and achieve all that God has destined us to achieve, without faith we'll cling to dead dreams and visions and refuse to see new horizons...without faith, we will live life on a mediocre level...

How many times have we known the right thing to do but allowed the circumstances around to dictate our reaction or hinder us from doing what we need to do. How many times have we chosen to stay in our comfort zones and refused to step out in faith knowing when we start to sink in case we doubt, He'll stretch forth His hands to catch us.

Daily i'm learning it's very easy to live a mediocre life, make no sacrifices, take no risks, have no faith, just do the average that is required to get by in life and in the end look around and envy the people doing great things and allowing Him to take the lead. I have decided i am going to step on the water, and if i start to sink, He'll stretch forth His hand to carry me. And i will renew my faith again!

Selah!

Happy New year my peeps

It's a new year and i'm very excited becuase it will definitely be a good year!
Hope you all had fun over the Xmas and New year breaks. I did although i worked some of it.

My Christmas was spent with my family back home in our 'village', it's a once in a year event my dad instilled in us as kids but i haven't been there for the celebration for the past 7 years so when hubby agreed we should go, i was really looking forward to it. It's usually a time of reunion not only with my immediate family but also the extended one; usually a time of much eating and visitation! Well we went and had fun but it was so so cold, i was sneezing and blowing my nose throughout christmas day. It was fun all the same

I meant to type a longer post and fill y'all in on what went down at Xmas and new year but don't have the energy, i've been under the weather, not been at work this week at all. Just wanted to update at least so all the people leaving me messages to update would know that it's not deliberate...lol...i have things to write, stuff to pour out but don't have the energy

I forgot to mention in my previous posts that i met favouredgirl in real life and we hit it off. We had been chatting several hours before then so it was like a continuation. I thank blogville for giving me an extra friend. We're kindred spirits! Was at a bloggers event last Saturday and it was nice to put faces to some of the blogs i visit often, we had fun and hope we can do it again.

Well, i'll leave you with a food for thought. Do you have goals for this year or did you just make resolutions? Resolultions to me are wishful thinking, things you'd love to do but goals are targets you set for yourself with ways on how to achieve them. My pastor encourages us all to write our goals forthe new year, every December 31st, that takes me through a thinking process and makes me reach deep into myself. I hardly sit down to think, dunno if it's good or bad. I have goals for this year and i'm giving God something to work with and i know i will achieve more than those set goal. I hope you have your goals for the year written down.

I wish you well in the new year, i wish you lots of happiness, i wish you loads of blessings and i'll say this prayer for you:

'May God keep you and yours and may His face shine upon you'

Have a happy year everyone and blog soon!

7 Randon/Weird Facts about me- Tagged by Arewa and Aloted

It took me over three weeks to come up with these facts, yes three whole weeks!....thanks arewa for picking my brain and making me think deeply o, pay day is coming believe me! and aloted for making me finally do this! I definitely didn't think it would be this hard..i finally came up with a list and it's even longer than seven..lol

I remember that as a kid, i would not allow a boy's body to touch mine. That probably stemmed from attending a girls' only school for a good while. I would rub and rub and try to clean off the touch if a boy's body mistakenly touched mine..silly i know.:)

I am a clean freak! The first thing i do once i get into my house is to get to the sink and wash my hands..if i don't, i'd feel like something's missing or wrong..lol. If i washed my plates and left them on the rack for a few minutes, i would still go ahead and rinse them if i wanted to eat something immediately..are you beginning to wonder if i'm ok?

I can't stand looking at the back of anyone's shoes even mine! Looking at them gives me a funny feeling so i always turn shoes over. I've done this since i was a kid! Even for guests' shoes! Lol

I always rub my feet together when sitting down especially if i have carpet under my feet. I'm doing that right now infact and it drives my hubby mad..hehehe. I think i inherited it from my mum i think!

I have very few girl friends who are close to me and with most of them it was 'love at first sight'. I just have to 'click' with my friends the first time we talk and i treat my friendships like i'm in a love relationship. Maybe that's why i don't have so many, maybe i scare them off.:-)lol..ask aloted!

My hubby is the first 'real' boyfriend i had. He was the first guy i allowed to hold my hands who didn't irritate me.. etc and my first kiss was also with him.:) i'm shy and covering my face right now

Most people who aren't tall love heels..i beg to differ..not like i'm really short, not talk either but i hate heels. You see this sister loves her comfort and would rather wear flats.:). I only wear heels when there are special occasions. Sister just can't be bothered with all that cat walking.:)

I sit in the most uncomfortable positions like folding my knees behind me and sitting on them. I carry my plate on my chest while eating and would almost always get stained while eating especially at home. I wonder how i achieve such feat! Hubby always asks how i do it!

I used to be a food hater when i was in uni..i would cook but could go days without food. There was a time a group of friends had to take me out to eat and forced me to eat the food after three days of starvation, i really don't know what was wrong with me then ..

Can you imagine that i thought i couldn't write this list..now i've added an extra and could really go on and on! Thanks for helping me reach within ladies! Now i'm tagging aijay(not sure if you've done yours), favoured girl and allied...

I hope i won't be begged to update again..life just gets so busy sometimes

Very Important Note
My blogville family, help me thank God. Sunday Dec 9, i could finally say Mr and i have celebrated a wedding anniversary together..it was our first..it's been a great year..the best ever for me! I hear couple fights are common place..for us, we're yet to have any fight or real argument(we disagree to agree later sometimes) in this one year and i pray the bliss continues. Someone told me..ha you're still on honeymoon..wait till real life starts but i'm proud to say for us..we're determined to have the honeymoon forever..so help us God! Help me thank God for giving me THE RIGHT MAN!

Mind Your Own Business/ Leave me Alone

Hi peeps..it's been some days since i last posted or snooped around blogs..ko le da na ni(it's so that things might be well):-) . I am now able to say confidently that i'm the proud owner of a manuscript of over 200 pages and over 83,000 words! I guess that's the easy part, now i have to start editing and talking to publishers . Hope things go real smooth and pretty fast, can't wait to start seeing my books on the shelves and people buying them.
I wonder if i'd have been able to write the book if i wasn't married to my dear hubby (he's my inspiration) and i'll say no..marriage has added so many blessings to my life! Soppy me..hehehe. Earlier this year or late last year, he took me to a book store, showed me the nigerian fiction shelf and said 'sweet, when am i going to see your book here..you have it in you..you're a beautiful writer, don't waste your talent'. That spurred me on and along the line when i've taken a rest to drink water and it looks like i'm camping there, he reminds me we have a target to finish before the year runs out..when i told him i finished the first draft..i could see the joy on his face and the look of accomplishment and it just makes me feel oh i married the right man. He delights in my accomplishment. Even if the book doesn't become a best seller or isn't very popular (i'm hoping for the two.:)), there's a sense of purpose here, i'm not burying my talent. There's so much more i have in here..not even scratching the surface yet but i know this year has been a complete turn around for me :)my life can't ever remain the same again.
To my blogville fans who keep encouraging me although they have no clue what i'm writing, thanks for your blind faith and kind words, means a lot to me. I'm blessed beyond measure. So guys watch out for me on the book shelves next year hopefully..

Now to the issue on my mind at the moment, it's bugging me a bit that people are finding it hard to mind their business, so if you're in that category, please be warned!
This might end up being a rant post, so please bear with me, just need to get some stuff off my chest.

Yours truly went for an old time friend's wedding and saw an old neighbour who also happens to be my mum's friend there and decided to be a nice girl..greeting the woman with as much enthusiasm as i felt and she motioned to me to come sit by her a while. Hubby had stepped out of the church service which was dragging so i thought there could be no harm. She hugged me and asked general 'i care' questions. Next thing this woman looked at my flat belly and said 'ki lo se e? (what's wrong with you)'. I had a bewildered look on my face and told her i'm fine ma. She said 'no o, so the story i heard is true. That you're waiting to buy a car before having kids! I had said i would come and meet you in lagos and talk some sense into your head. What kind of thinking is that?'' . All the while, the church service is still going on and she's ranting in yoruba trying to keep her voice low. Another old neighbour was seated to her right who was probably enjoying the free gist. I was so upset, i just plastered a stupid smile on my face and calmly told her i'm fine and she shouldn't worry about me and thinking 'my mum must hear this. Please where's hubby to save me from this witch of a woman'. I used hubby as excuse..told her i'll see her again and went to my seat fuming inside. Please tell me, what's her business? Even if it's true i'm saving up for a car(which isn't), does it concern her? I pity her sons' wives! We're not even related in any way o.

A friend who was at our wedding last year called me yesterday and asked how i'm doing. I haven't heard from her since then by the way, didn't even know she still has my number. She exchanged the usual pleasantries, how's your husband? How's your work? I told her fine and then she goes 'do you have a baby now?' and i said no. She said are you pregnant? I humour her and say no, then she says i hope everything's alright. I just wanted to check with you since i've not heard anything. And that another friend of hers who got married at the same time has a baby now, i couldn't wait for her to land anymore, had to cut her short. I told her congrats to your friends, we're not the same people though and we have different plans for our lives so does God. Thanks for checking up on me. It's highly appreciated. She promptly ended the call. Maybe she was expecting to hear tales of how i'm praying day and night and getting depressed. God forbid!

Those are just two instances out of so many and i'm wondering why people are so nosy and insensitive. Family will ask questions, friends will ask, neighbours will poke their noses. If something is going on in my life that you don't know, it means we're just not that close..get the message and don't ask me dumb questions. Does one need to ask a pregnant woman? My answer now is when it happens, you'll know..or maybe silence is even the best answer, what'd you guys think?

Why do people around here act like once you get married, a baby must show up in the next mine months??? What if i don't want my life that way? Does it never occur to them? Kids will make my life fuller and richer but while they're not yet there, i'll enjoy my life on the way to where i'm going. They should stop acting like i have problems. No thank you, my hubby and i are fine and enjoying life the way it is and looking forward to the future.

So do you guys think i have a right to be upset or not? I'm holding my head up and refusing to question what i know was a wise decision and looking forward to the blessing of a child. Should i kill myself because someone thinks i am not wise? Should i become a nut case because i am thought to be nonchallant? I don't want to, i refuse to, i'll be strong and keep my head up. But the society makes it so hard. There's pressure all around..to which i refuse to cave in though. I keep reminding myself of what my hubby says..'whatever is going on in our family is strictly OUR business!'. They should help us leave it as such.
Rant over now, how're you guys doing?

30 Days of Thankfulness- Day 21

So i got tagged by Aijay in this wonderful chain...Arewa, you tagged me, yes i know, still compiling my list of weird stuff and you'll get to see it soon. It's just a bit harder to do than this...apologies hun

Join me in the Thankfulness Chain....if you've been tagged, please complete the tag on the assigned day example... if you're tagged for November 21... that is day 21 and you should title your post 30 Days of Thankfulness - Day 21 provide a link to the person that tagged you previously Also provide a link to the two people that you're tagging for the next day so we can all follow the chain... Do let them know they're being tagged.. why they're being tagged, and how to grow the chain if you're unable to do the tag on your assigned day... still choose the day to reflect the date you do it (if you're choosing not to back date it) ...example... if you're tagged for November 25 but dont get to do it till November 27... and you're not back dating.. it's okay to do it as Day 27 you can post these rules or something to this effect to help it along.. :-)

For these reasons i am thankful o Lord:

I thank you o Lord for redeeming me from the jaws of hell and putting me on the right path..i have been redeemed by grace and because of this you call me no longer a sinner but a righteous daughter of yours....only you can do this Lord!

I'm grateful for my soul mate! You gave me a man who is crazy about me, a man who is always willing to stand up for me, protect and cherish me, a man who always makes me laugh and for this Lord i want to say i'll always be grateful and i'll always love this man; this man who, you have given me.

I thank you for my marriage, it's been blissful, it's almost a year now and we're yet to have our first fight, for this Lord i'm thankful, may our home always continue to be peaceful and full of your love...thank you father

For my unborn children, i am grateful because i know they will walk in your ways and fulfill your destiny for their lives. I know you're shaping their futures already. For being the beginning and the end, father be praised!

Lord i thank you for your protection and provision on myself and my family, for holding up your word that says only shouts of joy shall be heard in the habitations of the righteous! I praise you o Lord

My heavenly father, i am grateful for the challenges i face, they mould me, they shape me into who you want me to be. What would life be without its lessons? Meaningless! Challenges are the ways by which you teach me and i am so grateful for them! For the ones to come that i haven't faced, i say bring them on! God pass them!

Lord i'm grateful for friends you've given me, they're not many but they're wonderful and make my life beautiful, we share so many joys and laughters and when it's time to cry together, well...we let the tears flow...for this Lord i want to say thank you so much.

I am grateful for my potentials and the wonderful gifts you've given me father. You keep unfolding thwem to me one after the other. I am a bundle of potentials! Thank you Lord

I thank you for health, the gift of life, provision, my eyes, my legs and every part of my body, for every single promise in your Word, i praise you. I remember you said not a jot will go away without being fulfilled, oh i'm still going to see the fulfillment of many more wonderful things in my life and so for this Lord, i'm in awe of you

I'm thankful for Christmas, oh i love christmas, it reminds me that Jesus Christ was born for me and i really love the food and festivities :-)....thank you Lord because it's no longer far away.....

I also thank you for blogsville and for the wonderful people you connected me to through it. I laugh and cry while reading their posts and it's made my life richer. Thank you fatehr

These words are mine Lord, i thank you for who you are

Thank you Aijay for helping me to reflect on God's faithfulness, it's been a wonderful experience. I almost could go on and on and on because i'm remembering a lot of things God has taken me through this year, i have tears in my eyes, they are tears of joy for God's faithfulness and i celebrate them.

If you see your name on this list, then you've been tagged!
aloted,
omoalagbede,
solomonsydelle ,
olamild
and allied

Hope to read your thanksgiving letters, let's raise the roof with our praise!

Classics from work

Customer: Please my phone is saying 'fertility problem' and i can't make calls
Me: Did you say your phone is saying fertility problem?
Customer: Yes i did. That's what it is telling me

I needed to be sure i was hearing right and not my mind playing tricks, i was!I had been talking to so many people about babies and stuff, so it could have been my mind. This guy confirmed to me again that's what he said.
Ok, so i had to laugh, how does your phone have a fertility problem? Please does anyone know? I asked him to hold on and checked his line, what this guy was calling a fertility problem was a barring on his outgoing calls which he activated himself by the way? What do you do with this kind of person? Well, you look the other way at their seeming 'stupidity' and offer the help you can in your nicest voice. Tough,huh? Not really, can sometimes be fun

Customer 2: Network is refusing to be present in my area
Me: (Can't help being sarcastic)Excuse me, i'd like to confirm if you said network is not present in your area?
Who is taking attendance that network is not present...lol..If you don't have network, tell me there's no network in my area. Some of these guys in a bid to speal big English sound really idiotic

Customer 3 is Mr i'm feeling big who calls to say 'i work in so and so or i run my own business, been using my line for 5 years and i always recharge with huge amounts of money. When i bought this line it, was so many thousands, not now that every one can walk up and pick up a line'. This guy goes on and on about his status and i'm wondering 'oh please, get to the point'
Then he goes i'm finding it difficult to recharge my line (i'm like thank you Jesus, we finally get there) and then he goes on 'so i can't call my business partner'...bla bla and there we go again....Here i am feeling like telling this guy, can we cut out the crap and let's just deal with the issue? But work ethics command i have to find a way to be respectful and helpt his guy get to the point...Arrrrrggghhhhhhhhhh...that can be sometimes frustrating....

Let me spare you guys the rest or you want to hear more? Well, i'll determine if there'll be a part 2 from your responses...lol

Oh one more: I finish talking to this guy and then he says please may i have your name again, i tell him 'writefreak (of course not!), then he goes, from telecoms (mentions the name of my company) abi? Please isn't that dumb? Which number did he dial and what company was he calling?

On the personal end, been busy working on my book, i've missed my deadline of October end again (and my dear hubby is really upset with me, i wonder how he would be as a publisher. I so appreciate the push though, or else i would have packed up th book since, he's been a great encouragement) but good news i'm working on the final three chapters now, wish it could just end there. Nah, have to edit from the beginning, then start the publishing runs...i'll get there...

Ok peeps...later, i'm out, work calls!

My Learning Experience

I'm sorry for my absence, i am back. Alot has happened to me in the past week and i just haven't been able to blog or do a lot of other things for that matter and i'll share them now.So solomonsydelle and afrobabe, here's the update

Learning is a different experience for different people. This week, i have had some experiences which i'm trying to come to terms with or i've just gotten to accept. I started learning to drive properly in recent times since i have been very lazy about it. I used to leave the car at home and go out in cabs but has proved very inconvenient in recent times, i just hate the haggling and so on so i summoned courage and got hubby's permission to start taking the car. I arranged with one of my colleagues to be riding with me,and voila we were good to go. I had driven round my area for a while so i was gettng confident.

First day i drove to work, the car told me 'check coolant', meaning there was no water in the radiator, we put water and it started leaking, so i called the mechanic to meet me at home, only for us to drive a few metres and the car stopped. We waited there for over an hour, the guy came, attended to it and the car started. I was like so upset, considering i wanted to speand the rest of my afternoon writing after resting a bit. I closed from work at 1:30 and didn't get to my house till like past 4:00. It's only about 20 minutes journey. Hubby and i talked on the phone and we joked about it as part of driving experience, i felt better

The following day, i drove to work and back and there was no issue, so i begged my colleague that i needed fuel for our generator and also some for the car. We drove to the filling station and bought the fuel. I dropped my friend at his place, our houses are just about 5 minutes apart, was driving home jejelly (gently) and was entering a corner, when this car suddenly appeared in front of me, i didn't know what to do, i panicked, next thing our cars had kissed and then i remembered the brake...it was too late! Next thing i know i'm out of my car and shaking like a leaf! I called hubby and said, i have wrecked the front of the car and he was like 'oh my god!'. He wasn't around so he told me to call the mechanic. I called my colleague, i was on autopilot, i gave my car key to a guy i didn't know to help me move it off the road until some lady nudged me to enter the car, the guy could have been a thief! I got into it!

The guy in the car came to meet me asking what he would do now, apparently, he was a driver. i didn't even fully understand yet, my colleague came, the guy said his oga said we should come and meet him in his hospital since he's a doctor. We drove there. The owner of the car refused to come out to talk to use, he sent for his mechanic. We went back to the accident venue, the mechanic exclaimed hwen he saw the car. The left fender was damaged and the headlight was broken etc etc. He was able to drive it, then the owner came out to examine it, he was an Indian, he didn't even acknowledge my presence. He sent for his panel beater and then i was hearing i would need to buy him a new windscreen, new headlamps, new bumper, etc, i was like what? Was this guy waiting for someone to solve all the problems on his car? I'm not a racially prejudiced person but i've heard Indians are very harsh people, it was being confirmed to me live by this guy who was not even willing to hear that i had the L plate on and his driver was not smart enough to swerve for me, only stopped in front making me panic.

The banter went on with my two friends negotiating with them on what i would fix and not fix, and then he wanted me to use his panel beater, it was all getting too much so i decided to go have a talk to him and see if we could reach an agreement. I had spent almost 2 hours with him and i had not even started solving the problem of our own car with its expensive parts. I tried reasoning with him then he told me he treats his car like his patient and if there's a minor damage somewhere, then i would replace it. I flipped, here i was, three hours after leaving work, and tackling unexpected issues, the guy was not even willing to compromise, i could have gone to my house, but out of being a nice person i followed his malo (hausa) driver to meet him. I flipped and started raking for the guy who just entered into his office. i told him if he wanted his panel beater, then he should be prepared to solve the problem himself. I was raking like a mad woman, it was suddenly too much....

We took his car to the panel beater's and my mechanic took our away...i forgot the house keys in the car, the mechanic had to come back with it. Once i entered my house, i broke down, tears that i didn't know were there rose to the surface. It had been a really horibble day, hubby was not around to cry on his shoulders...Everyone kept telling me it was part of learning the ropes. Well hubby wasn't upset about it, he was trying his best to comfort me and even told me i have becoem an international driver. He's such a sweet guy. I cried and felt better

I thought about the whole situation and i decided i'm not buying any windscreen, i paid for the panel beating and will buy the lights, that's all i'm going to do. Thank God he doesn't have my phone number or house address, the guy was just too mean. Or what do you guys think i should do? Will appreciate your suggestions.

Car is being fixed now and life is going on, so that's what i've been up to my peeps!

Tripping in Ghana

One week has gone by since i ended my vacation and i've once again settled into the my normal life, it's not so bad afterall...lol. Part of the dividends of too much 'igbadun' (enjoyment) is the 4kg i added which i'm trying my best to lose...exercises and cutting down on night eating, i guess that should work. I don't want to be carrying any excess luggage around

I went to Ghana for a blissful week (i'm sure you guys have been wondering where i went, well, there, it's out). I've always wanted to visit that country btu somehow it never happened till this year, so close to Nigeria, yet so far...It's just about 45 minutes by air!

Well so hubby and i got to do this together. Yay! I didn't want to travel anywhere alone so i was really glad.Our flight was delayed for over an hour, although we had thought we were late. Very short flight, before i knew it, we were touching down in Accra. My lovely friend (aloted's) friend, Belinda (who is now my friend by the way) was waiting for us at the airport and she took us to the hotel she had booked for us...we were in transit, our main destination was a beach resort somewhere about 3 hours outside Accra.

Accra is a nice city but definitely less of the Lagos hustle and bustle, anyway, how many people live there?Twas a nice night, hubby had a swim, i couldn't i was too tired. We went to the Oxford Street and men, was night life thriving! This was a Tuesday evening and so many young people were out, i was like shocked! Or maybe it's because i don't really do night crawling in Lagos, we walked part of the street length listening to Naija music blaring on the sound systems, PSquared to be precise...I was really feeling it!

We arrived at the beach resort in the afternoon of the following day, this was definitely a very quiet area, well we wanted peace and somewhere out of the hustle and bustle and we got it! From our room, we could hear the ocean rumbling and hitting against the rocks, it was a wonderful sound.I can never tire of watching the ocean, it just gives me this sense of peace and assurance of God's promises. They're never ending like the water!

We visited the Slave castle on Thursday morning, we had a lot of company, a group of white guys were also visiting. The tour guide did a wonderful job, taking us through the different history of the castle and how the slave trade began. If not for God, i was starting to develop a hatred for whites. Ha! that was a real injustice, the dungeons were like hell holes, very tiny rooms where they would accommodate over 150 people with no ventilation, those people were wicked sa! The door of no return where the slaves were gone forever to the new world was so tiny and to imagine they were tied in chains! I'm so glad the slave trade was abolished long long before i was born...aren't you?

To more pleasant gist, we went to the Kankum National Park where we went on the trail above the canopy, it was like 280 feet above sea level or more...it was the most adventurous thing i've ever done in my life! On that canopy, i experienced several emotions, fear, joy, anxiety etc...you can't fall but the walkway is so narrow and one continues to sway..twas so much fun and then it rained while we were on the walkway and it was like God was giving us showers of blessing...
i took some pictures to congratulate myself on completing the walk on the trail.

The white guys wanted to see the crocodile fan, that held no fascination for me,i', an African, i don't need to be looking at crocodiles..we left them at the dam and we went back to our hotel...i was like so tired that evening...i had done enough for a day, the rest of the day was spent in bed:-)..did i hear some questions? Sure didn't

Following day, we went to buy our tickets to travel back to Accra, then we went to the University which reminded us pretty much of our own Uni. Then, we went to see the Cape Coast Slave castle, pretty much the same story as the first slave castle we saw. I fell in love with a ghanaian sauce called Shitor and i jep eating it with everything i could think of..Addiction! It was late, we went back to our hotel room...we wanted to swim but me, i was too tired!

Saturday, we left for Accra and went back to the hotel we stayed before...we spent some time cruising round the city in a friend's car and then bought quite an amount of wooden materials for ourselves and family...

Sunday come too soon, it was the day to leave. I woke up to a disappointment (don't wanna go into details) but hubby and i were determined not to have the day end like that. So what if i was hoping for something? More opportunities are ahead. We went to the beach and walked the length with our friend...then we went to one of the beach hotels, had a few drinks and spent some time talking and laughing...My friend introduced me to a Ghanaian guy who grew up in Naija and we spoke plenty Yoruba to each other, i'm sure she thought we were speaking in tongues.

Time to go, it was really had to say goodbye not only because i would miss my friends but because it was the end of the vacation. It was so much fun while it lasted and here i am adjusted to normal life again looking forward to my next vacation!

MIA

Did anyone knock on my door when i was away? Or did i hear someone say i missed you? For those that stopped by when i was away, thanks so much, i was on some remote island fulfilling a mission...lol

So i'm back and real life starts today, i wish i didn't really have to go back to work, i have so enjoyed my "faffing" life that i wish the end would not come. Every good book has an end i guess so i'm singing 'back to life, back to reality!' I had fun, lots of it, i really enjoyed myself and i have the excess 4kg that i added which i have to lose by all means in the next few weeks (since some of my clothes seem to be feeling tight now). I refuse to believe they're tight! Lol

I haven't written in a week, i continue today and hope to finish real soon, pray for me o! that i will be able to resist every temptation of chatting and reading blogs when i should be working.

Anyway, work starts today, need to prapare, will try and put up a post on my trip soon when i can get myself to sit down and do it,

Till then, enjoy y'all!

Life is beautiful

This post is actually for today the 17th but is reading 11th because i started it last week...lazy me!

I've been so absent from blogging! There would have been a reasonable explanation if i've been so busy at work or i've had so much to do at home and didn't remember to blog but none of this is the answer. I think it's been laziness, another part is fighting the blogging addiction and trying to do productive things. So i've been absent lately and will fill y'all in on what i've been up to.

I started my over 3 weeks vacation last week and i can't believe it's a week already, i wish i could get paid for being on vacation all year long, my time is mine and i can do as i wish with it, including staying up late at the night doing all sorts, gatecrashing blogs, browsing literary sites, reading book reviews online, chatting with friends who burn the midnight oil like me(hubby has been nagging me over chatting too much, i think he's jealous:-)),just fooling around on the internet and reading anything that catches my fancy. Can you see i have been so busy?

My vacation has been fun up till date though i didn't travel to the destination i thought i would. What is vacation all about? Is it about travelling to some fancy place so i can tell my friends i saw this place and that place? Infact, i'm trying to define vacation to myself. Yeah, it's good to travel and all that, i still plan to spend at least a week outside the country but i think the most important thing when one is on vacation is spending time with family,resting and rejuvenating onself, it's a time to also assess one's life goals and see if you're on the right path (yeah i have a reflecting side). So long as those things are done, i've had a good vacation.

Monday was the first day of my vacation, i spent it indoors just lounging and working on my book...didn't do much really.

Tuesday; hubby had to go to abuja for work so we got on the plane together. Yes thank you, i like being his handbag, i spent the rest of the day working on my book, watching some TV and did some lounging in the evening, yeah and i stayed up late chatting

Wednesday; I finished Kaine Agary's Yellow-Yellow that i started reading on Monday; it's a nice book written in simple language and gives one an insight into things happening in the Delta. Got through with chapter 9 of my book, yay! I guess slow and steady wins the race, i'm moving along and will definitely get there, i'm over halfway now.

Thursday: really prayed today (not like i don't pray everyday but this was different) I started on chapter 10 and got stuck, maybe i ex[erienced what people call writers' block so i watched some TV. I hate the Big Brother Africa show, i think it's a waste of time for adults to stay cooped up in a house for three months doing nothing productive with their lives but i found myself watching and even predicting who would go out next. I even formed favourites...hmm...see what this vacation is doing to me o

Friday: I did a little writing, inspiration came yesterday night before i went to bed but somehow i didn't spend so much time writing during the day. I spent the evening going out and having some fun; checking out books etc.

Saturday: This was real faffing day! I did nothing but lounge with all day, watching TV, gisting etc. Eventually i stayed up late to continue on chapter 10, went to bed when i couldnt take no more

Sunday: Woke up late...very late! There was no church,spent sometime indoors praying, had breakfast in bed (i'm sure someone is wondering oh this is the life!), then in the evening went swimming. This time was better than the last one i went to the pool. You see i have this thing, i can swim but i sometimes think i'm drowning so i'll just stop in the middle and start asking for help (did i hear a laugh?)...well, i didn't need help this time. Writefreak got her groove on! It was so much fun and relaxing. Oh and yes, the housemate i wanted evicted left the big brother house, it was a good day for me! I also finished chapter 10 of my book, i am now convinced i can write...lol

I haven't been going out much, i sometimes eat breakfast in bed, go to the dining room for lunch and same for dinner...life is good! I'm doing no house chores, i wish this would last forever so i'm going to enjoy it as long as it lasts. Life is beautiful!

Jungle Justice

In recent times, i have noticed an ill being perpetrated in our society which no one seems to be speaking or bothering about. It's a mind bugging issue which the appropriate authorities need to step into.

Several weeks back, around the area where i live in Lagos, i noticed two spots where there appeared to be burnt tires and was wondering why there was a riot. My only memory of tire burning on the road was the Babangida and Abacha days when we had incessant demonstration by different groups.

Well curious me, i asked the driver of the cab i was in why there was a riot. Then he said 'sister, eyan na ni'(those are burnt human beings). Eh! I shouted. He went on to explain they were thieves who had been caught in the act by neighbourhood boys. I wanted to know what they stole and everytime i saw someone who could have some information, i got no answer. Nobody seemed to know. It bothered me that for so many days, the charred remains lay on the road while people drove or walked past just avoiding the spot.

This last Sunday, hubby and i drove past an area close home again and saw the same gory sight, infact, the burners were still in the act, looking for more tires to increase the flames bursting like they were making sacrifice to a blood thirsty god. I was not able to find out anything this time. My guess is i would hear 'they are thieves'.

My question is if it's right to just go on a rampage and start taking the law into our hands. Definitely, the punishment for stealing in the Federal republic of Nigeria is not lighting a human being who might have the potential to change on fire!

So many people think it is good because it will reduce the number of miscreants but i envisage a situation where innocent people are set ablaze or one where hoodlums decide to just kindle a fire on anyone they have a feud with. All they have to do is shout 'thief, thief' to get support.

Definitely, our security system is porous and needs to be improved but it is no excuse for citizens to take law into their hands.

I recall a few years ago when a boy of about nine years was set on fire close to the national stadium because people said he stole. I wonder what this boy must have stolen.

These jungle justice masters need to be curbed i believe. I can only say what i have seen in my area. How can we tell how many people are being burnt daily all over Lagos? If these people feel so passionately about crime, why not join any of the law enforcement agencies and help wake them up? It is sad that the law is being taken into the citizens' hands and no one seems to be raising an eyelid.

There is probably be a law binding people from doing these kind of things. We need a system where crime is dealt with properly. I believe also that if the people have faith in the law, they might seek it as an alternative to taking it into their hands.

7 Blissful years!

There's this guy i know so well, he had a friend for about a year, he thought they were getting too close, people were talking about their relationship, he was not ready for a boy-girl relationship, he had a frist class to make and his studies to face! So he told the girl, please let's give each other some space, i like you but i'm not ready for a relationship and i really don't see a wedding dress!

The girl agreed and gave him space..a lot! She liked him but she's got her pride..thankfully school went on break...time to heal! She heaved a sigh of relief!

School resumed and one night, the young man is back in her life..telling her he loves her in a shy manner. A week later, they were officially girlfriend and boyfriend...the relationship was too good to be true. They'd break up so many said..

Well, six and half years after the shy profession and even the 'shyer' acceptance , here was the guy in a lovely suit and the lady in a beautiful wedding dress(he did see the wedding dress afterall) at the altar making vows of forever to each other.

August 14, a very memorable day, would have made their pure relationship 7 good years. Years they both don't regret but thank God even more, they've started another count. A count they believe would be even happier than the other with God's help.

Stop guessing, it's hubby and I and i'm so glad we found each other!

how i love everything about you, everything you are, you'd catch a falling star if i asked you!...you chased me i caught you, so glad we found each other...(words not originally mine)

Lazing Around and Characters

Men i've been so lazy these days, infact the whole of last week i was on a mini vacation and i was just sleeping and sleeping (i thought i had caught a bug..)), hubby asked me to come to abuja for the week, was i glad or what? I was treated to breakfast in bed for the whole week, though my system was messed up and won't take the food..It was still fun, i felt like lazy old Garfield!

I had planned to complete my book then, i actually had a deadline of July 31st but i missed it due to the fatigue i was experiencing, i guess my body needed the rest and demanded it. Now i'm back, i'm back, i'm back!!! Guess you can tell the song i'm singing....

I picked up again and i have set a new deadline which i'm not telling, not that i plan to miss it but i'll keep it to myself. The dilemna i have now is with the character names. I got a suggestion from aloted this afternoon to name the guy Boye, i actually think i like that name, the main character was Tade but i read a book with that name recently so i decided to change it, i think i'll take that suggestion. Vain person, she was saying i'll have to acknowledge her and i'm saying no way! Does she have to ask? Can't she allow me to use my discretion?

I'm trying to decide how my weekend will run since i have the whole of it off, doesn't always happen on my kind of job (the present one)but haven't come up with a plan yet, hoping hubby will come home, will make it more fun yeah? I will definitely be able to go to church this weekend, been quite a while, been attending online for a while...

Ok i'll stop rambling now, work calls....

Oprah- Narrow Minded ?

A friend buzzed me and said "did you hear what Oprah said on her show about Nigerans"?
She actually said America should sever diplomatic relationship with Nigeria because aacording to her "all Nigerians – regardless of their level of education – are corrupt.” There is an article published in the Punch of 26th July on this, please check it out by clicking this link: Punch

How would a respected human being say something like that about a whole people? What sort of general statement is that?

Can i say, "because some teenage americans do drugs, all teenage americans are drug addicts?" I think that would be the words of a mad woman.

How would she because of the evil acts of a minute segment of the Nigerian population which is over 120 million generalise and say we are all bad. That would mean all notable Nigerians who have made differences in their chosen fields of endeavour are corrupt,right? How can?

We have so many people who have made a lot of difference around the world and have distinguished themselves in their chosen fields of endeavour, I'm sure some people come to mind as you read. Would Oprah refuse treatment from a Nigerian doctor if she had an emergency and she was taken to a hospital? I doubt that.

The most painful part for me is that i mentioned it to a colleague and he said "is it not true?" we almost fought, and i made a point to him that i am not correct and i am aware of several other Nigerians who are innocent and hardowking people, maybe he is? . What do we say about our country? Do we have faith in Nigeria?

This is an insult on Nigeria as a country and on honest hard working citizens of our beloved country. We need to rise up as a people and speak against injustice or any ill spoken word to our country.

I admired Oprah but i have lost every iota of respect for her today. I am not watching her show anymore and i am spreading this word to everyone i know. Americans defend their country with everything they have, let's do so for ours.
I rest my case!

Baby steps

It's been a week since the fire incident and i'm thankful i've gotten over it, even in the process of buying a new cooker.

The week since then has been very wonderful. For one hubby suprised me by coming home that day. He just called like some minutes before 8pm to say he'd be switching off his phone for a while, then he'll call me, i was wondering ok? Then it occured to me he might be coming home and i thought, could he? Well, like one and half hours later, he called to ask where i was, i said home, he said come open the door. Boy, was i impressed! Well, i don't need to tell you what happened after.:)

I'm making progress on my book, i've set a target for myself to finish my debut this month end so help me God and so help myself. Hubby has been so supportive, giving me the necessary push when i'm being slack. I'm taking a step at a time and i believe God is ordering the steps. If i've got a gift, then i should maximise it, shouldn't i? Well, i've decided to do just that!

Then, i made contact with some publishers. I want to believe they'll be interested in my work once i finish and then i'll be qualified to say i'm a writer.:-). I got to meet Ebun Olatoye randomly and she's been such a huge help. She answers my questions like she's meant to.

Things are looking up. I'm on the way to where i believe i was meant to be. I just need to keep my focus and stay true to it...cheers.

Fire, fire, fire!! Thank you Lord

I woke up this morning, it was supposed to be a normal day...

Work would start at 8a.m and my ride would leave at 7:15 a.m

My alarm rang, i went to the kitchen and put the kettle on the cooker to boil as PHCN would not give power and i can't use the electric one...

I went to my room to pick what i would wear for the day, then i felt this compulsion to go to the kitchen and take something...

Then what i saw shocked to my my bones, my kitchen was covered in smoke and i managed to go inside...i froze at what i saw!

My cooker was in flames, all over and under it, i have never really seen a fire incident so i was really in pieces. well the proactive side of me took over, i shut down the gas, and was wondering how to put up the flames right in front of me, then common sense told me it was better to have a wet and flooded kitchen than a house on fire, so i started pouring water on the cooker, and finally the fire was out!

And then the shock of what happened finally settled in...i was shalink all over, then i called hubby and woke him up from sleep (he's out of town) and he tried to calm me...he was so sweet on the phone. I didn't even know i was crying till he said..."Ah! you're crying".. then i realised.

He made me seat down for a while, yes over the phone:..) And i was a bit calm. I had my bath and dressed up on auto pilot...i didn'even pay the usual attention to my dressing

The irony is i'm here at work trying to resolve issues and queries while i am in a state of shock myself, i'm just trying to get over it....guess i will by the time the day is over and i am begging that it will be possible and easy for hubby to come home. I am overwhelmed..

Flashback to Sunday, i was in church trying to buy tapes when a thief picked my pocket, my new phone that hubby bought for me was stolen! Chei! I was in love with that phone. My friends and i went for the first service which ended at 9 am but we ended staying for all three services because the person in possesion of the phone who claimed to be a policeman that had retrieved promised to bring it back. well he didn't, guess he changed his mind or finally figured out how to remove the battery since he couldn't switch off since i had a lock code on it.

Another shocking thing that i was just recovering from. I have a new phone and a new sim, and then this?

Well, i guess life's just full of challenges and one has to move over them...

Laters!

Tribute to a friend

Not to Udeme as the guineess advert goes....
To a wonderful friend whom i cherish so much, i know you and you know me, it's between us!
You have been more like a sister to me than a friend
When i think about our meeting, it's really funny, but i think we just had to meet. God had planned it that way.
For several years, i looked for you and one day by divine orchestration, i met you out of the blues...(really?)
We met and that was it!!
Kindred spirits, that's who we are...sometimes we complete each other's statements, we share silly things and we laugh...
You opened up to me, i opened up to you,
We've shared our laughters and our tears
Always there for me even when miles away
You're always so close
When you are away, i miss you so much
But i know you're always there, just a call or e-mail away
You're never too busy for me (i hope you feel the same way.:)
When i think of something or an event occurs, i always think you must hear this..
Just want to say i love being friends with you
You're my best friend always
You'll alway be with me everywhere i go, anywhere you are
Though oceans apart we might be
Dear friend, i carry you in my heart!!!

So long!

It's been a while since i posted anything, just haven't been up to it for some reason or the other, maybe i'll give details in another post.
It just occured to me that the way i've allowed myself not to post anything is the same way we tend to sometimes forget about people we love and care about.
We are so busy attending meetings, making money and doing other important stuff that we unknowingly push people into the background.
It's not like we really intend to forget about them but we're just so busy, our tables are usually too full and we have to clear them.
Yesterday, out of boredom, i watched a home video where the guy was so busy building a business empire and neglecting his wife. Each time she mentioned that she needed his time, he either tried to buy her an expensive gift or told her he was busy trying to make their lives comfortable. Eventually when he travelled for 2 months, his wife fell into the warm embrace of their driver. Don't think i'm excusing adultery, no but hubby was nowhere to be found when his wife needed him.
In this age where it has become extremely important for us to build careers, we need to be extremely careful and check if we are not doing so at the expense of the most important things.
Take a scenario where you've achieved everything you want, you've reached the pinnacle of your career, won several awards but have no one to share it all with. I tell it will be very boring and miserable.
We need people along the way, not as tag alongs but as people we love and share genuinely with.
Today, try to make that phone call you've delayed for so long, send that e mail to the old friend, make a schedule of how to stay in touch with loved ones especially family. It keeps the journey interesting.
Have a fun weekend!

My Birthday With The White Dress

It was my birthday yesterday, you want to guess how old i turned? Then feel free cos i'm not telling at least not today! I just want to gist about the events leading to it and the one of the day. It's a bit long but pls i hope you'll read to the end

Friday

I got a call from my sister in law saying she had bought me a dress which she would like me to come and try on but i couldn't go because i was at work till 8 p.m so i shifted it till the following day.
That evening, hubby got back home from Abuja and asked what we are doing for my birthday and i said i don't know. I really didn't feel like celebrating. I have been having some dark moods recently (See my previous post). He said it's my first after we got married and he thinks i should try to have fun. I agreed

Saturday

We reached a consensus that we would have an outing with some family members and a few friends at a restaurant. It's afterall my birthday and it happens once in a year. I was getting in the moood, thanks to hubby. We ordered a cake that morning and then headed for my sister-in-law's to try the dress. It was love at first sight between the dress and i. It looked so divine in its white colour with the spaghetti straps. I love the dress so i decided to try it and lo and behold, the zip would not go up past the bust. It has a side zip and a band under the bust, the zip just wouldn't pass that point. I called her help to come do the zip, no luck, hubby tried it, no luck so i decided i would take to her office and have one of the tailors help with the cloth.

The tailor took one look at the dress and said "nothing can be done". How would a love affair i just started with this dress just end like that?? It had to blossom. So we went to look for my sister in law where she was making her hair in the salon, she was like she had an idea, we just had to bring the tailor for her to explain to him.

We had to go get my cake so we went to do that and by the time i got to work, i was five minutes late although we still didn't have it. I couldn't be bothered, it was afterall my birthday and i was even singing to myself "Go Writefreak, it's your birthday, we gonna party like it's your birthday".

Hubby picked me up from work and i saw the dress still in the nylon i left it before going to work. I decided to stay in a state of denial, i didn't want to believe it had not been fixed. My birthday dress!

So we got to his sister's and he advised me to bring out the dress, his oldest sister was around and she would help me into the dress or help the dress into me!!! Ha ha ha! So the battle of the dress started, the zip still would not budge, i tried not breathing, i tried to pull my flesh in so the zip would go up, no way! I'm sure you're wondering, writefreak, na wa for you o, all because of a dress, yes o! It was so funny, we were all rolling on the floor with laughter. It just reminded me of Gabrielle in Desperate Housewives Season 2 when she got pregnant and was trying to fit into a size 0 dress (please for my sake, go watch that episode if you haven't and you'll get a picture of what i am talking about).

I decided to give up when the dress got stuck in my suku and it took divine help for it to come out. In that space of time, it was so bad considering i'm a bit claustrophobic. There went my hope of wearing a new dress, i always wear new things on my birthday; celebration or not!

D day
We went to church and from there we went to look for a phone on the Island; hubby's birthday gift to me. I have this "half of an 1100 Nokia", (i call it half because i have used up its original lifetime) which everyone i know has begged me to change but i have refused because i made a deal with hubby that if i used it till my birthday, he would buy me a new phone. You know how we ladies are, we would still like our husbands to buy us things we can afford. We didn't get so we proceeded to Oceanview to make arrangements for celebration in the evening, we did that although we were told we had to pay N2,500 for cake cutting since we didn't buy from them (i told my husband, rubbish!). We then went for lunch where we talked about things that had been on my mind. I don't want to share the details

I didn't know i would have fun like that. I had so much fun just talking and laughing with friends and family i couldn't have imagined having it any other way. I don't take alcohol, or else i would have said i was tipsy. We all had chapman and some finger foods. It was a lot of laughter, a lot of joy shared and i thought look at me, why am i getting depressed? So many people would be envying me. Here i was having a birthday paid for by huby (God bless his dear soul) with so many people showing me love (i had only told them a few hours earlier and they came). I might want more but i definitely don't have a bad life.

I enjoyed my birthday, my friends in real life and blog world aloted and omoalagbede were there. Thanks so much guys and to everyone that was present. It was a beautiful day which hubby made happen for me. How do I say thank you now? I love the guy so much!!!

Addendum
Thanks aloted- I completely forgot to mention how I finally got into the dress! lol. After lunch on my birthday, i decided to give it one last try. So while hubby was in the bathroom, i locked myself in the room and was praying not to be disappointed. First attempt, the zip refused to move and i got some wisdom, why not turn the zip to the front and try the zip and voila it worked! I screamed and hubby was suprised to see me in it when he got out, so was everyone else who had witnessed the 'dress rehearsal' of the day before. My sister-in-law later told me she had an inkling the zip wasn't so good but she knew i would like it and would find a way to wear it. I didn't disappoint her! My persistence paid off!

The thoughts in my head

I have so many thoughts going on in my head these days that i sometimes feel as if i would explode with them. If my head had a typewriter built in and a printer attached, i think i would have spun thousands of pages in the past few days.

The first set of thoughts is the state if dissatisfaction i am in. I am wanting MORE and my head is always screaming it that i wonder if that's really ok. I'm not unhappy about where i am but i need more.

I think that's the way human beings are designed, we always want to progress and leave where we are.

When i was single and living alone, i wanted to get married and live with my man, then i got married and we started living under the same roof. And then work stepped in and took hubby away. So it happened that we became weekend husband and wife, phone bills increased (thank God for free airtime from my office).Then another desire stepped in, i want hubby back! Or i want to live where he is whichever way that will happen. It has become an all consuming desire, it's in my prayers, in my thoughts and my petitions.

Then, i am starting to want another job badly! I am so tired of this one, sometimes i just feel like sitting at home instead of coming to work but it pays the bills. I want to move from this mountain which i have been on for almost two years...Before now, i was kinda content but now i almost can't wait to get out. Maybe what i actually want is not really another job, maybe i just want a better expression of my talent and gifts, maybe i don't want another 9-5 or a shift job..So many maybes

It's also not helping that i am only six months married and everywhere i turn, there are questions about pregnancy. Can't people just leave other people alone? Will they train the child for us when we bring it into the world? Or will they help carry the pregnancy? Or is marriage just for child bearing? Well, that's a story for another day?

These are things that have me awake late in the night, thoughts that are plaguing and will not leave me alone. The loneliness is not helping, it makes me think more...

There are so many things i want that look very faraway....

Well, that's where i was a few days ago when i typed this, not that things have changed physically but update on my next blog

Half of a Yellow Sun

Chimamanda; an author i admire so much has won the Orange Prize for her book "Half of a Yellow Sun". It is an award well deserved because the book is a great read.

She lit a fire in me when i read the book and i am sure it is the same with a lot of other readers. Hubby bought it for me and i could not put it down til i finished!

If you haven't read it, please do, it gives a good picture of the Biafran war especially to those of use who were not present then....

Congratulations on the award!

My Big Fat Goof

I goofed this last weekend and it cost me a few things including money, thank God it wasn't more than what it was.

Somehow my work schedule was changed last weekend and i didn't have the full information. Normally i would work for six straight days in a shift cycle and then go off for three days. So when i was told that another cycle was starting on saturday after two days off for my office to run a test, i just counted six days and since I was determined i wasn't going to work weekend, i got a replacement to work for me, on Saturday and Sunday (it cost some money.I wanted to spend the weekend with hubby and family. I had no information that my team, would go off on Sunday and then resume for seven days.

I forgot my phone at a friend's saturday/sunday so no one from the office could reach me. I was incommunicado! On Sunday morning, i saw a colleague at church and asked why she didn't go to work then she told me NO WORK!

Alas i had done work that no one sent me and went uappreciated...plus i had to drop a few bucks. Not to forget the fact that my supervisor was upset with me and sent a very strongly worded mail to the team as a result.

I really felt bad about it but i feel better now. Just think writing about it would help and laughing about it like hubby suggested would help and i guess it has.

Updates on other things later

Proliferation of Religious Groups and Activities on Lagos/ Ibadan Expressway; Way Forward?

Going to Ibadan from Lagos has become a harrowing experience for travellers these days, one can never tell how the road will be. It can take up to 7 hoursl; the same length of time one would spend travelling to Abuja by road from Lagos. I for one have been a witness on at least three occasions.

The express has become a haven for many religious bodies and there are of the nuparticular weekends to avoid on the express especially the first and last Saturdays of the month. One merous religious groups will definitely be engaged in their activities on one of these Saturdays. At a few kilometres apart on the express, one sees signboards of different churches especially.

I am not averse to Christianity or worship. Infact i am a professed believer and i love to worship God but i believe that Christians should be socially responsible, maybe even more than people of other faith. Maybe this is why i get angry when i am on the express and i am wasting precious time because my brothers and sisters in Christ have just had a programme and somehow the roads are congested. You even find some of them driving one way!

Some of the bodies have gotten their acts down and cause not so much traffic anymore but the rest have to work at it and save Nigerians the stress we face. I remember a trip last year around the Easter period when a popular church had a programme, i spent 8 hours travelling to Ibadan, it made me almost hate the church, i was disgusted! "Why should i suffer like this because a church is having a programe?" were my thoughts.

One definitely cannot say all the groups should move, (although one wonders if the camp sites HAVE to be around here) but maybe they should find a means of controlling their traffic and people. At least some groups have come up with different parking spaces which has in a way solved the traffic from their end.

The religious groups on the express should rise up and become and become socially responsible and stop causing unnecessary traffic. Time is too precious for that!